The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite: Chapter 1
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far-...wait, this isn't a different galaxy! It's still on Earth, right? Right. *ahem* A long time ago...um... far, far away, was a land called Hyrule. A land of prosperity and wealth, all of Hyrule lived in peace for hundreds of years under the reign of Hyrule's Royal Family. However, a war between Evil and Good had sprung up, sending Hyrule into a period of famine and pestilence. However, legend tells of a Hero that will save Hyrule; one who will stand up and conquer evil, defeating it with the power of the Ancient Sages.
Camera pans over Hyrule Feild, towards Kokiri Forest.
And on a COMPLETELY unrelated note, there's some Kokiri kid without a fairy. Let's go laugh at him.
In Kokiri forest...
Old Deku Tree: Navi... Navi!
Navi: (flies towards the tree) Yes, sire?
Old Deku Tree: Art thou courageous?
Navi: (confidently) Yes!
Old Deku Tree: Have thou the courage to preform this villiany I am about to ask of thee?
Navi: Yes! Yes sir, I do!
Old Deku Tree: Wilst thou succeed at this daunting, perilous task?
Navi: (getting really excited) Yes! Yes, please tell me what I have to do!
Old Deku Tree: Obtain ye olde asthma inhaler. *wheeze pant*
Navi: ...
Old Deku Tree: These little *pant pant* things always flying around aggravate my condition.*gasp*
Navi: Yeah, I've always wondered about those. What are those things, anyway?
Old Deku Tree: (suddenly grave and totally serious) That is not for you to know.
Navi: ...
Old Deku Tree: However, Navi, I have another favor to ask of thee...
Navi: (sarcastically) Oh, what now? You want me to get a cough drop?
Old Deku Tree: No, Navi, this task is much more serious.
Navi: (becoming interested) Oh. Really?? What is it?
Old Deku Tree: The fate of the world rests on this matter.
Navi: (all wide-eyed and excited) Wow! What is it!
Old Deku Tree: We're out of milk. Go get some more.
Navi: (falls down)
Several hours later, after getting milk, crackers, some fuzzy dice, a pack of gel pens, some nail polish, a 1 GHz processor, a copy of "To Kill a Mockingbird", and another asthma inhaler...
Old Deku Tree: Navi, I-
Navi: (interrupting) That's IT, you old worm-eaten piece of driftwood! I'm not-
Old Deku Tree: I'm sorry, Navi, it was vital that you undergo such treatment.
Navi: (sarcastic) OHHHhhh, I'm SURE it was! Just as vital as getting the milk, eh?
Old Deku Tree: The fairy I need for this upcoming task must be patient! Resourceful! And most of all, knowlegable! ...By obtaining these items, you have proved to be the right fairy for this task.
Navi: Really? What do I need to do?
Old Deku Tree: Go find the one named Link, and bring him to me. I assign you to this boy until further notice.
Navi: Oh, THANK YOU, Deku Tree, sir! I will find him right now! (flies off)
Well, I guess we didn't have time to laugh at the kid without a fairy. We won't even get to, either, because this stupid tree guy decided to give him one, finally. Oh well. Maybe this will conjure up many new, interesting adventures. Maybe. Well, we'll see, on the next exciting episode of The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite!
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far-...wait, this isn't a different galaxy! It's still on Earth, right? Right. *ahem* A long time ago...um... far, far away, was a land called Hyrule. A land of prosperity and wealth, all of Hyrule lived in peace for hundreds of years under the reign of Hyrule's Royal Family. However, a war between Evil and Good had sprung up, sending Hyrule into a period of famine and pestilence. However, legend tells of a Hero that will save Hyrule; one who will stand up and conquer evil, defeating it with the power of the Ancient Sages.
Camera pans over Hyrule Feild, towards Kokiri Forest.
And on a COMPLETELY unrelated note, there's some Kokiri kid without a fairy. Let's go laugh at him.
In Kokiri forest...
Old Deku Tree: Navi... Navi!
Navi: (flies towards the tree) Yes, sire?
Old Deku Tree: Art thou courageous?
Navi: (confidently) Yes!
Old Deku Tree: Have thou the courage to preform this villiany I am about to ask of thee?
Navi: Yes! Yes sir, I do!
Old Deku Tree: Wilst thou succeed at this daunting, perilous task?
Navi: (getting really excited) Yes! Yes, please tell me what I have to do!
Old Deku Tree: Obtain ye olde asthma inhaler. *wheeze pant*
Navi: ...
Old Deku Tree: These little *pant pant* things always flying around aggravate my condition.*gasp*
Navi: Yeah, I've always wondered about those. What are those things, anyway?
Old Deku Tree: (suddenly grave and totally serious) That is not for you to know.
Navi: ...
Old Deku Tree: However, Navi, I have another favor to ask of thee...
Navi: (sarcastically) Oh, what now? You want me to get a cough drop?
Old Deku Tree: No, Navi, this task is much more serious.
Navi: (becoming interested) Oh. Really?? What is it?
Old Deku Tree: The fate of the world rests on this matter.
Navi: (all wide-eyed and excited) Wow! What is it!
Old Deku Tree: We're out of milk. Go get some more.
Navi: (falls down)
Several hours later, after getting milk, crackers, some fuzzy dice, a pack of gel pens, some nail polish, a 1 GHz processor, a copy of "To Kill a Mockingbird", and another asthma inhaler...
Old Deku Tree: Navi, I-
Navi: (interrupting) That's IT, you old worm-eaten piece of driftwood! I'm not-
Old Deku Tree: I'm sorry, Navi, it was vital that you undergo such treatment.
Navi: (sarcastic) OHHHhhh, I'm SURE it was! Just as vital as getting the milk, eh?
Old Deku Tree: The fairy I need for this upcoming task must be patient! Resourceful! And most of all, knowlegable! ...By obtaining these items, you have proved to be the right fairy for this task.
Navi: Really? What do I need to do?
Old Deku Tree: Go find the one named Link, and bring him to me. I assign you to this boy until further notice.
Navi: Oh, THANK YOU, Deku Tree, sir! I will find him right now! (flies off)
Well, I guess we didn't have time to laugh at the kid without a fairy. We won't even get to, either, because this stupid tree guy decided to give him one, finally. Oh well. Maybe this will conjure up many new, interesting adventures. Maybe. Well, we'll see, on the next exciting episode of The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite!