The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite, Chapter 2
On the last episode of The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite, almost nothing happened. I mean seriously, there was practically nothing happening. I don't know why I even wrote it. It was so boring and unfunny. But anyway, I go on for you, the reader. Well, basically all that happened was the Deku Tree made Navi do some stupid stuff before assigning her to get Link, the kid without a fairy that now has a fairy. Let's see how they do.
In Link's house...
Navi: (flies in) Hey Link, wake up! You've-
Link: (talking in his sleep) No... oh no! An ugly man on an ugly black horse riding through flames! This must mean Hyrule is about to fall into a seven-year period of war and famine under his terrible iron fist of evil!
Navi: ...
Link: (gets up, but still asleep) I've got to stop him!
Navi: I know I'm not supposed to wake up sleepwalkers, but--
Link: With my trusty sword... (grabs Navi)
Navi: Augh!
Link: ...and my Hylian Sheild... (grabs a book on the table)
Navi: (trying to push herself out of his grip) Why do I get the crazy, weird kid!?
Link: ...I will be unstoppable! (walk outside)
Outside, in Kokiri Village...
Mido: (to a group of Kokiri) ...and THEN, that stupid no-fairy kid walked into the Z-targeting contest, joined, failed miserably, and when he lost, get this.... when he lost... he said, "Hey! That's no fairy!" GET IT???!! FAIRy? (bursts into laughter) Oh, what a stupid kid! (starts laughing again)
Everyone else: ...
Mido: Um... hey, Mr. No Fairy came outside! Let's all laugh at him and forget the weird thing I just said.
Everyone else: Okay! (turn to look at Link)
Link: (defiantly) AND NOW I WILL SAVE HYRULE AND BECOME THE LEGENDARY HERO OF TIME!!!
All: ....(burst into laughter)
Random Kokiri Kid #1: Him! The Hero of Time! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Random Kokiri Kid #2: (in tears from such hard laughter) I know! He's so stupid!
Random Kokiri Kid #3: He doesn't even have a fairy! He definitely can't defeat anyone without being able to look at one thing and circle it, or talk to people ten feet away or more, or identify certain secrets. You know, all those easy, normal things other races can do without a fairy. ...Hahahahaha! He's so dumb!
Mido: And the KICKER is, he's gonna do it all with a book and a...a... (his eyes squint to get a better view, then widen) FAIRY!?
Link: (wakes up) Huh? What?
Mido: What's that kid doing with a fairy!? He must have stole it from another Kokiri in the night! Who's missing a fairy?
Everyone: Not me.
Mido: Grr... well, are we all here?
Random Kokiri Kid #1: All of us but Saria, but she's always running- (get pushed into the dirt by someone running by)
Saria: (running by) Link! Link! Oh, hey wow, you have a fairy! This is so cool! But... you know it works better if you let it go.
Link: A fairy? What are you talking about?
Saria: Um... in your right hand you're holding a copy of "Kokiri for Dummies", and in the other you're holding a fairy.
Link: AAAUUGGGGH! A BUG! KILL IT! (uses the book to smash Navi into a wall)
Navi: I hate this kid already. I really do.
Saria (shakes head) Nonono, Link, that's a fairy. You have a fairy now! You're a full-fledged Kokiri!
Link: Really? I am?! Great! Hahaha, IN YOUR FACE Mido!
Mido: (taps foot angrily and walks into his house)
Saria: Forget about him, he shouldn't give you any mroe trouble. (to fairy) So, you lucky little fairy, what' your name?
Navi: (bandaging herself) Well, "lucky" isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe me right now, but I'm Navi and I've been assigned to Link, and he's been summoned by the great Deku Tree!
Saria: WOW! Link, you get to go talk to the Deku Tree! This is so great! But... first you need to learn how to use a fairy.
After hours at the Kokiri Training grounds...
Link: Hahaha! I now know how to use a fairy!
Navi: (sarcastic) Great. Perfect. Forget the fact that we were supposed to be talking to the Great Deku Tree hours ago. Yeah, forget about all that, it's not important.
Link: Oh yeah, that. The tree guy.
Navi: Let's just go, okay?
Mido: (stops them with his incredibly Mido Forcefeild of Death) Waitaminute there, Mr. No-Fairy-That-Now-Has-A-Fairy! That 15-foot path to the Deku Tree is dangerous. You need at least a sheild and a sword.
Navi: (buries her face in her hands) Oh no! More delays! The Deku Tree is probably boiling with anger right now!
Back at the Deku Tree...
Old Deku Tree: (lazily watching TV) I wonder why Navi and Link aren't here yet.... feh. Oh well. (goes back to watching TV)
Man on TV: He stole my manhood!
Woman on TV: That would be petty theft.
Audience: Hahahahahahahaha!
Old Deku Tree: Hahahahaha.
Back at the entrance, Link now has a sword and a sheild.
Link: Okay, I got this puny sword and this wooden sheild thing. Can I go now?
Mido: WHHAAAAAAAATTT?!? How did a little wimp like you find... well, no matter. You can't pass yet anyway. You have to pass the SEVEN TRIALS.
Link: Seven Trials?
Mido: Yes, the Seven Trials! The first trial is defeating 100 Wolfos at once with a toothpick. (smiles, but notices Saria behind Link)
Saria: (staring at him angrily)
Mido: Um... heh heh... actually, you can skip the trials and go. If you want. ....(runs away)
Link: Great! (walks into the entrance)
What does the Deku Tree want with Link? I don't mean to give away and spoilers, but you wouldn't have gotten any of these jokes if you hadn't anyway, so don't worry about it, and just stop reading. Well anyway... what does the Deku Tree want with Link? Find out (for the .00001% of you who don't know already), on the next EXCITING episode of The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite!
P.S. This is going to be a running story, going through the entire game, so those previous chapters... Think of them as sneak peaks. ;-)
On the last episode of The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite, almost nothing happened. I mean seriously, there was practically nothing happening. I don't know why I even wrote it. It was so boring and unfunny. But anyway, I go on for you, the reader. Well, basically all that happened was the Deku Tree made Navi do some stupid stuff before assigning her to get Link, the kid without a fairy that now has a fairy. Let's see how they do.
In Link's house...
Navi: (flies in) Hey Link, wake up! You've-
Link: (talking in his sleep) No... oh no! An ugly man on an ugly black horse riding through flames! This must mean Hyrule is about to fall into a seven-year period of war and famine under his terrible iron fist of evil!
Navi: ...
Link: (gets up, but still asleep) I've got to stop him!
Navi: I know I'm not supposed to wake up sleepwalkers, but--
Link: With my trusty sword... (grabs Navi)
Navi: Augh!
Link: ...and my Hylian Sheild... (grabs a book on the table)
Navi: (trying to push herself out of his grip) Why do I get the crazy, weird kid!?
Link: ...I will be unstoppable! (walk outside)
Outside, in Kokiri Village...
Mido: (to a group of Kokiri) ...and THEN, that stupid no-fairy kid walked into the Z-targeting contest, joined, failed miserably, and when he lost, get this.... when he lost... he said, "Hey! That's no fairy!" GET IT???!! FAIRy? (bursts into laughter) Oh, what a stupid kid! (starts laughing again)
Everyone else: ...
Mido: Um... hey, Mr. No Fairy came outside! Let's all laugh at him and forget the weird thing I just said.
Everyone else: Okay! (turn to look at Link)
Link: (defiantly) AND NOW I WILL SAVE HYRULE AND BECOME THE LEGENDARY HERO OF TIME!!!
All: ....(burst into laughter)
Random Kokiri Kid #1: Him! The Hero of Time! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Random Kokiri Kid #2: (in tears from such hard laughter) I know! He's so stupid!
Random Kokiri Kid #3: He doesn't even have a fairy! He definitely can't defeat anyone without being able to look at one thing and circle it, or talk to people ten feet away or more, or identify certain secrets. You know, all those easy, normal things other races can do without a fairy. ...Hahahahaha! He's so dumb!
Mido: And the KICKER is, he's gonna do it all with a book and a...a... (his eyes squint to get a better view, then widen) FAIRY!?
Link: (wakes up) Huh? What?
Mido: What's that kid doing with a fairy!? He must have stole it from another Kokiri in the night! Who's missing a fairy?
Everyone: Not me.
Mido: Grr... well, are we all here?
Random Kokiri Kid #1: All of us but Saria, but she's always running- (get pushed into the dirt by someone running by)
Saria: (running by) Link! Link! Oh, hey wow, you have a fairy! This is so cool! But... you know it works better if you let it go.
Link: A fairy? What are you talking about?
Saria: Um... in your right hand you're holding a copy of "Kokiri for Dummies", and in the other you're holding a fairy.
Link: AAAUUGGGGH! A BUG! KILL IT! (uses the book to smash Navi into a wall)
Navi: I hate this kid already. I really do.
Saria (shakes head) Nonono, Link, that's a fairy. You have a fairy now! You're a full-fledged Kokiri!
Link: Really? I am?! Great! Hahaha, IN YOUR FACE Mido!
Mido: (taps foot angrily and walks into his house)
Saria: Forget about him, he shouldn't give you any mroe trouble. (to fairy) So, you lucky little fairy, what' your name?
Navi: (bandaging herself) Well, "lucky" isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe me right now, but I'm Navi and I've been assigned to Link, and he's been summoned by the great Deku Tree!
Saria: WOW! Link, you get to go talk to the Deku Tree! This is so great! But... first you need to learn how to use a fairy.
After hours at the Kokiri Training grounds...
Link: Hahaha! I now know how to use a fairy!
Navi: (sarcastic) Great. Perfect. Forget the fact that we were supposed to be talking to the Great Deku Tree hours ago. Yeah, forget about all that, it's not important.
Link: Oh yeah, that. The tree guy.
Navi: Let's just go, okay?
Mido: (stops them with his incredibly Mido Forcefeild of Death) Waitaminute there, Mr. No-Fairy-That-Now-Has-A-Fairy! That 15-foot path to the Deku Tree is dangerous. You need at least a sheild and a sword.
Navi: (buries her face in her hands) Oh no! More delays! The Deku Tree is probably boiling with anger right now!
Back at the Deku Tree...
Old Deku Tree: (lazily watching TV) I wonder why Navi and Link aren't here yet.... feh. Oh well. (goes back to watching TV)
Man on TV: He stole my manhood!
Woman on TV: That would be petty theft.
Audience: Hahahahahahahaha!
Old Deku Tree: Hahahahaha.
Back at the entrance, Link now has a sword and a sheild.
Link: Okay, I got this puny sword and this wooden sheild thing. Can I go now?
Mido: WHHAAAAAAAATTT?!? How did a little wimp like you find... well, no matter. You can't pass yet anyway. You have to pass the SEVEN TRIALS.
Link: Seven Trials?
Mido: Yes, the Seven Trials! The first trial is defeating 100 Wolfos at once with a toothpick. (smiles, but notices Saria behind Link)
Saria: (staring at him angrily)
Mido: Um... heh heh... actually, you can skip the trials and go. If you want. ....(runs away)
Link: Great! (walks into the entrance)
What does the Deku Tree want with Link? I don't mean to give away and spoilers, but you wouldn't have gotten any of these jokes if you hadn't anyway, so don't worry about it, and just stop reading. Well anyway... what does the Deku Tree want with Link? Find out (for the .00001% of you who don't know already), on the next EXCITING episode of The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite!
P.S. This is going to be a running story, going through the entire game, so those previous chapters... Think of them as sneak peaks. ;-)