The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Rewrite - Chapter 4
"Link learns how to open a door"
When we last saw our hero, he was walking inside the Deku Tree. What unspeakable horrors await him inside!? Maybe there are UGLY FISH PEOPLE, or MONSTERS THAT EAT ROCKS, or A GUY WITH EYEBROWS GROWING INTO HIS HAIR! Actually, that last one wouldn't be very scary. We'll see what lies inside the Great Deku Tree on this episode of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Rewrite!
Link: (walks into the Deku Tree) Wow... this is some curse! It hollowed the Deku Tree out and made walkways and locking doors and torches and stuff!
Navi: I think he was already like this.
Link: Oh, what? He hollowed himself out, thinking "I think I'll hollow myself out and make walkways and doors and really high cliffs inside me, in case someone ever puts a curse one me, so that a young boy can come and break the curse. Yeah, that's what I'll do"?
Navi: (sighs, and speaks sarcastically) Exactly, Link. That's exactly what he thought.
Link: Wow. He sure was cautious.
Link and Navi go through the trials of the level together, until finally, they come to a door
Navi: HEY!
Link: OW! You screamed in my EAR, you little bug! What do you want?!
Navi: This is a DOOR! Open is by standing in front of it and pressing A. Some doors are locked or barred, so pay attention to what the Action Icon says!
Link: ........You screamed in my ear to tell me how to open a door.
Navi: Well, some people don't know how.
Link: Who did you work with before, Mido? I'm the HERO OF TIME! I can do easy stuff like this. (walks forward, reaches for an inexistent doorknob and slams into the door)
Navi: (crosses her arms and smirks)
Link: (rubbing his head) Shut up. Just don't say anything at all.
Navi: Heh heh heh.
They continue their journey, until they come to a Deku Scrub sitting in a flower-like-thing on the ground
Link: Oh, hey Deku Scrub guy! Don't mind us, we're just passing through.
Deku Scrub: (shoots a deku seed at Link, knocking him down)
Link: Augh! (gets up) Little punk! No one messes with the HERO OF TIME! Die! (unsheaths his sword)
Deku Scrub: WAIT!!!
Link: (freezes in place) What?
Deku Scrub: I'm sorry, sir! I'll never do it again! If you let me go, I'll tell you a secret on how to beat my brothers up ahead!
Link: Hm... lemmethinkNO! (slices the Deku Scrub into tiny pieces of grass and bark)
Navi: That wasn't very smart, Link. I would have listened to him; his information might have been of some use to us.
Link: What? And let him go? HA! The HERO OF TIME shows no mercy!
Navi: Whatever. Let's go.
Finally, Link and Navi get to one room with water and three Deku Scrubs.
Link: (looking at the map) Okay... according to the map, we're at the front of the Deku Tree, so we should go.... THAT way! (points to a blank wall with nothing on it)
Navi: Um, Link, you-
Link: Nonono! I'm sure this is a fake wall or something. I'll knock it down. (smashes into it, then falls down on the ground) Ouch.
Navi: Link, you were holding the map upside down. We go THAT way, into the area with those three Deku Scrubs. The boss is right behind that door.
Link: (gets up) Oh. I knew that. (walks over to the deku scrubs)
Deku Scrubs: (all shoot at him at once)
Link: AUUGGHHH! (sheilds himself, and the deku seeds bounce right off the sheild back to the deku scrubs, suprisingly losing no momentum or speed. The middle scrub is hit and turns purple.)
3rd Deku Scrub: (shoots at him)
Link: (uses the sheild to bounce the deku seed back at him as well)
1st Deku Scrub: (just sits there)
Link: Well? Come on! Shoot at me!
1st Deku Scrub: No. You'll hurt me.
Link: I promise I won't. I'll just bounce it back over to right of you.
1st Deku Scrub: I don't believe you.
Link: Okay then, we'll do this the hard way. DIE! (rushes towards him with sword drawn)
1st Deku Scrub: AUUGGHH! Okay, okay! But if you let me go, I'll tell-
Link: Silence, treeboy! You die now!
Navi: HEY!
Link: OW! What now?!
Navi: Maybe you should listen to this guy and let him go.
Link: Oh, right. Well, okay. (gets off him)
1st Deku Scrub: Thank you, sir, here is the information: "You will never defeat Queen Gohma unless you hit her while she's stunned."
Link: Okay. You may go now.
1st Deku Scrub: Oh, THANK YOU SIR! (runs off)
Link: (hits him with a deku seed from behind)
1st Deku Scrub: AAAAIIIIIIIEEE!!! [EXPLODE]
Link: Hahaha, that loser. He thought I was really going to let him get away.
Navi: Link, that was mean.
Link: I'm the HERO OF TIME! I can do whatever I want. (walks through the door)
Navi: You're going way too far with this "hero of time" thing.
They walk into a totally empty room, aside from a few bushes and a pillar or two. Two things were strange about the room, however: There was an eerie fog collecting on the floor, and a strange, repetitive sound was coming from somewhere.
Link: What the heck is that?
Navi: ... I don't know...
Link: Hahaha, maybe one of the- (stops, and face turns white)
Navi: ....one of the what? Link? (looks up, and screams)
Queen Gohma: (looks at them, rolls its one eye all around it's socket, then drops down in front of them. It stands on one leg, and the other three legs loom over Link, and it roars several times and looks at him sternly)
Link: ..............AAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHH! (runs away)
Not so tough now, are ya Link? Oh well. Link is, once again, in trouble. What will he do now, find out next time, etc. etc., you know the drill.
"Link learns how to open a door"
When we last saw our hero, he was walking inside the Deku Tree. What unspeakable horrors await him inside!? Maybe there are UGLY FISH PEOPLE, or MONSTERS THAT EAT ROCKS, or A GUY WITH EYEBROWS GROWING INTO HIS HAIR! Actually, that last one wouldn't be very scary. We'll see what lies inside the Great Deku Tree on this episode of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Rewrite!
Link: (walks into the Deku Tree) Wow... this is some curse! It hollowed the Deku Tree out and made walkways and locking doors and torches and stuff!
Navi: I think he was already like this.
Link: Oh, what? He hollowed himself out, thinking "I think I'll hollow myself out and make walkways and doors and really high cliffs inside me, in case someone ever puts a curse one me, so that a young boy can come and break the curse. Yeah, that's what I'll do"?
Navi: (sighs, and speaks sarcastically) Exactly, Link. That's exactly what he thought.
Link: Wow. He sure was cautious.
Link and Navi go through the trials of the level together, until finally, they come to a door
Navi: HEY!
Link: OW! You screamed in my EAR, you little bug! What do you want?!
Navi: This is a DOOR! Open is by standing in front of it and pressing A. Some doors are locked or barred, so pay attention to what the Action Icon says!
Link: ........You screamed in my ear to tell me how to open a door.
Navi: Well, some people don't know how.
Link: Who did you work with before, Mido? I'm the HERO OF TIME! I can do easy stuff like this. (walks forward, reaches for an inexistent doorknob and slams into the door)
Navi: (crosses her arms and smirks)
Link: (rubbing his head) Shut up. Just don't say anything at all.
Navi: Heh heh heh.
They continue their journey, until they come to a Deku Scrub sitting in a flower-like-thing on the ground
Link: Oh, hey Deku Scrub guy! Don't mind us, we're just passing through.
Deku Scrub: (shoots a deku seed at Link, knocking him down)
Link: Augh! (gets up) Little punk! No one messes with the HERO OF TIME! Die! (unsheaths his sword)
Deku Scrub: WAIT!!!
Link: (freezes in place) What?
Deku Scrub: I'm sorry, sir! I'll never do it again! If you let me go, I'll tell you a secret on how to beat my brothers up ahead!
Link: Hm... lemmethinkNO! (slices the Deku Scrub into tiny pieces of grass and bark)
Navi: That wasn't very smart, Link. I would have listened to him; his information might have been of some use to us.
Link: What? And let him go? HA! The HERO OF TIME shows no mercy!
Navi: Whatever. Let's go.
Finally, Link and Navi get to one room with water and three Deku Scrubs.
Link: (looking at the map) Okay... according to the map, we're at the front of the Deku Tree, so we should go.... THAT way! (points to a blank wall with nothing on it)
Navi: Um, Link, you-
Link: Nonono! I'm sure this is a fake wall or something. I'll knock it down. (smashes into it, then falls down on the ground) Ouch.
Navi: Link, you were holding the map upside down. We go THAT way, into the area with those three Deku Scrubs. The boss is right behind that door.
Link: (gets up) Oh. I knew that. (walks over to the deku scrubs)
Deku Scrubs: (all shoot at him at once)
Link: AUUGGHHH! (sheilds himself, and the deku seeds bounce right off the sheild back to the deku scrubs, suprisingly losing no momentum or speed. The middle scrub is hit and turns purple.)
3rd Deku Scrub: (shoots at him)
Link: (uses the sheild to bounce the deku seed back at him as well)
1st Deku Scrub: (just sits there)
Link: Well? Come on! Shoot at me!
1st Deku Scrub: No. You'll hurt me.
Link: I promise I won't. I'll just bounce it back over to right of you.
1st Deku Scrub: I don't believe you.
Link: Okay then, we'll do this the hard way. DIE! (rushes towards him with sword drawn)
1st Deku Scrub: AUUGGHH! Okay, okay! But if you let me go, I'll tell-
Link: Silence, treeboy! You die now!
Navi: HEY!
Link: OW! What now?!
Navi: Maybe you should listen to this guy and let him go.
Link: Oh, right. Well, okay. (gets off him)
1st Deku Scrub: Thank you, sir, here is the information: "You will never defeat Queen Gohma unless you hit her while she's stunned."
Link: Okay. You may go now.
1st Deku Scrub: Oh, THANK YOU SIR! (runs off)
Link: (hits him with a deku seed from behind)
1st Deku Scrub: AAAAIIIIIIIEEE!!! [EXPLODE]
Link: Hahaha, that loser. He thought I was really going to let him get away.
Navi: Link, that was mean.
Link: I'm the HERO OF TIME! I can do whatever I want. (walks through the door)
Navi: You're going way too far with this "hero of time" thing.
They walk into a totally empty room, aside from a few bushes and a pillar or two. Two things were strange about the room, however: There was an eerie fog collecting on the floor, and a strange, repetitive sound was coming from somewhere.
Link: What the heck is that?
Navi: ... I don't know...
Link: Hahaha, maybe one of the- (stops, and face turns white)
Navi: ....one of the what? Link? (looks up, and screams)
Queen Gohma: (looks at them, rolls its one eye all around it's socket, then drops down in front of them. It stands on one leg, and the other three legs loom over Link, and it roars several times and looks at him sternly)
Link: ..............AAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHH! (runs away)
Not so tough now, are ya Link? Oh well. Link is, once again, in trouble. What will he do now, find out next time, etc. etc., you know the drill.