The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Rewrite - Chapter 5
"Queen Gohma gets schooled"
On the last exciting episode of Ocarina of Time Rewrite, Link went inside the Deku Tree to rid him of his curse set on him by some unknown character. After learning the basics (opening doors, looking down things, falling, etc.), Link finally came upon the boss, Queen Gohma. However, Hero of Time or no Hero of Time, Link is still just a ten-year-old little boy, and Queen Gohma is scary at any age, so Link decided to scream and run away. Some Hero of Time.
Link: AAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH! (runs away)
Queen Gohma: ROOOAAAARRR!
Link: (huddled against a wall) Good God, it's ugly! Oh, I can't bear to look at it! (shuts eyes tight)
Queen Gohma: (slowly advancing towards Link)
Link: (still has eyes closed tight, begins to throw things at Queen Gohma) Get away! (throws his sheild, a copy of "Kokiri Life" magazine, his lunch, and Navi all in the direction of the roars from Queen Gohma)
Navi: Hey! Don't throw me!
Link: (throws a deku nut at Queen Gohma, which lands at her feet and explodes, emitting a blinding flash)
Queen Gohma: (falls on the ground and begins spasming and palpitating)
Link: (takes a peek to see what happened) Hey! She's stunned! Apparently those Deku Nuts emit a flash for a split-second and temporarily stun whatever is in front of it!
Navi: DUH! That's what I told you as soon as you picked one up!
Link: You did? Oh. I wasn't really listening.
Navi: You idiot!
Link: (begins slashing and slicing and dicing Queen Gohma's eye)
Queen Gohma: (gets up, backs away from Link and climbs onto the ceiling)
Link: Ha! It's retreating! I won! Nah nah, in your face, ugly bug thing!
Three balls drop from Queen Gohma.
Link: Um...
The three balls burst open, and from them come little mini-versions of Queen Gohma.
Navi: AWWWWW! They're so CUTE!!
Link: (fighting them off) Cute!? They're incredibly ugly!
Navi: (cuddles up to one) Can we keep this one? I like this one, let's keep him!
Link: (stabbing the others) NO!
Queen Gohma: (drops back down)
Link: You fool! You've made the Hero of Time angry! Now you die! (throws a Deku Nut down on the ground)
Queen Gohma: (falls on the ground and spasms again)
Link: DIE, EVIL SPACE MONSTER!! (begins cutting and slicing Queen Gohma's eye as quickly as possible)
Navi: "Space monster"?
Queen Gohma: (suddenly rises up from the ground and shakes a little before its eye explodes and it falls to the ground and disentegrates into little tiny pieces)
Link: Yahaha! I won!
A circular blue portal appears on the ground, which Link walks into and floats upward.
Back outside, in front of the Deku Tree...
Link: Okay Deku Tree, we got rid of your curse. Now give is the money.
Deku Tree: Money? I never promised any money.
Link: (shrugs) It was worth a shot.
Deku Tree: (sighs) Link, although I cannot give thee any money, I thank ye...
Link: No problem... (under his breath) ... cheapskate.
Deku Tree: I will tell you the Legend of the Triforce. Wilst thou listen?
Deku Tree: Do I really have a choice? This is just one of those fake choices throughout the game in which only one answer will allow me to progress through the game, while the other choice just results in you asking the question over and over again until I give you the answer you want.
Deku Tree: I will tell you the Legend of the Triforce. Wilst thou listen?
Link: (sighs) ... Yes. (sits down, gets some pop corn and a remote)
Navi: What's the remote for?
Link: To change the channel, duh.
Navi: ........................... Nevermind. Forget it. I give up.
Deku Tree: When this land was still young, and turmoil and pestilence governed the land, three golden Goddesses descended upon this land. Din, Goddess of Power... Farore, Goddess of Wisdom... and Nayru, Goddess of Courage.
Link: Cool.
Deku Tree: Din... with her strong flaming arms, she cultivated the land and created the red earth. Farore... with her wisdom, she poured the spirit of law over the world. Nayru... she created all life forms that would uphold the law. And when these goddesses left this world, they left behind the Triforce, the sacred oracle of power on which we base our providence.
Deku Tree: Link... Navi... the man who put the curse-... HEY! LISTEN!
Link: (wakes up) Hm? Wha? Oh, sorry.
Deku Tree: The man who put the curse on me is from the desert... you must never let this man get his hands on the Triforce. The fate of Hyrule, nay, the world depends on it.
Link: Yeahsurewhatever. Can we go now?
Deku Tree: Be patient, Link. I have more to say.
Link: (exasperated sigh)
Deku Tree: I will pass away soon...
Link: Uhuh.
Deku Tree: ...
Navi: ...
Link: ...
Deku Tree: ...
Link: ...What?
Deku Tree: I, the one hast been the guardian spirit of the Kokiri for centuries, am about to die and leave the forest without protection from evil. Don't you even care?
Navi: Not really.
Link: I'm actually kind of glad.
Deku Tree: (crying)... Fine. Just get out. Just take this Spiritual Stone and get out. (gives them the Spiritual Stone of the Forest)
Link: Thanks!
Deku Tree: Navi... I entreat ye... (dies)
Navi: Huh? What?
Link: Yeah! Free firewood for life!
Navi: What?
Link: Look at him! He's huge! We can use him for firewood forever!
Navi: ...
Link: Ooh ooh, even better: We can cut him up and sell him! Like, "get a piece of the Great Deku Tree, only 50 rupees!"
Navi: Um... let's just go... (quietly) before you get any other crazy ideas...
Link and Navi: (leaves)
Well, although Link actually defeated Queen Gohma and the curse, he was unable to save the Great Deku Tree, so it died. Cry me a river. However, what do they do now? The Deku Tree died before he could tell them. Big jerk. Well, we'll find out on the next episode, won't we? Yes we will, son... yes we will. (walks off into the sunset)
"Queen Gohma gets schooled"
On the last exciting episode of Ocarina of Time Rewrite, Link went inside the Deku Tree to rid him of his curse set on him by some unknown character. After learning the basics (opening doors, looking down things, falling, etc.), Link finally came upon the boss, Queen Gohma. However, Hero of Time or no Hero of Time, Link is still just a ten-year-old little boy, and Queen Gohma is scary at any age, so Link decided to scream and run away. Some Hero of Time.
Link: AAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH! (runs away)
Queen Gohma: ROOOAAAARRR!
Link: (huddled against a wall) Good God, it's ugly! Oh, I can't bear to look at it! (shuts eyes tight)
Queen Gohma: (slowly advancing towards Link)
Link: (still has eyes closed tight, begins to throw things at Queen Gohma) Get away! (throws his sheild, a copy of "Kokiri Life" magazine, his lunch, and Navi all in the direction of the roars from Queen Gohma)
Navi: Hey! Don't throw me!
Link: (throws a deku nut at Queen Gohma, which lands at her feet and explodes, emitting a blinding flash)
Queen Gohma: (falls on the ground and begins spasming and palpitating)
Link: (takes a peek to see what happened) Hey! She's stunned! Apparently those Deku Nuts emit a flash for a split-second and temporarily stun whatever is in front of it!
Navi: DUH! That's what I told you as soon as you picked one up!
Link: You did? Oh. I wasn't really listening.
Navi: You idiot!
Link: (begins slashing and slicing and dicing Queen Gohma's eye)
Queen Gohma: (gets up, backs away from Link and climbs onto the ceiling)
Link: Ha! It's retreating! I won! Nah nah, in your face, ugly bug thing!
Three balls drop from Queen Gohma.
Link: Um...
The three balls burst open, and from them come little mini-versions of Queen Gohma.
Navi: AWWWWW! They're so CUTE!!
Link: (fighting them off) Cute!? They're incredibly ugly!
Navi: (cuddles up to one) Can we keep this one? I like this one, let's keep him!
Link: (stabbing the others) NO!
Queen Gohma: (drops back down)
Link: You fool! You've made the Hero of Time angry! Now you die! (throws a Deku Nut down on the ground)
Queen Gohma: (falls on the ground and spasms again)
Link: DIE, EVIL SPACE MONSTER!! (begins cutting and slicing Queen Gohma's eye as quickly as possible)
Navi: "Space monster"?
Queen Gohma: (suddenly rises up from the ground and shakes a little before its eye explodes and it falls to the ground and disentegrates into little tiny pieces)
Link: Yahaha! I won!
A circular blue portal appears on the ground, which Link walks into and floats upward.
Back outside, in front of the Deku Tree...
Link: Okay Deku Tree, we got rid of your curse. Now give is the money.
Deku Tree: Money? I never promised any money.
Link: (shrugs) It was worth a shot.
Deku Tree: (sighs) Link, although I cannot give thee any money, I thank ye...
Link: No problem... (under his breath) ... cheapskate.
Deku Tree: I will tell you the Legend of the Triforce. Wilst thou listen?
Deku Tree: Do I really have a choice? This is just one of those fake choices throughout the game in which only one answer will allow me to progress through the game, while the other choice just results in you asking the question over and over again until I give you the answer you want.
Deku Tree: I will tell you the Legend of the Triforce. Wilst thou listen?
Link: (sighs) ... Yes. (sits down, gets some pop corn and a remote)
Navi: What's the remote for?
Link: To change the channel, duh.
Navi: ........................... Nevermind. Forget it. I give up.
Deku Tree: When this land was still young, and turmoil and pestilence governed the land, three golden Goddesses descended upon this land. Din, Goddess of Power... Farore, Goddess of Wisdom... and Nayru, Goddess of Courage.
Link: Cool.
Deku Tree: Din... with her strong flaming arms, she cultivated the land and created the red earth. Farore... with her wisdom, she poured the spirit of law over the world. Nayru... she created all life forms that would uphold the law. And when these goddesses left this world, they left behind the Triforce, the sacred oracle of power on which we base our providence.
Deku Tree: Link... Navi... the man who put the curse-... HEY! LISTEN!
Link: (wakes up) Hm? Wha? Oh, sorry.
Deku Tree: The man who put the curse on me is from the desert... you must never let this man get his hands on the Triforce. The fate of Hyrule, nay, the world depends on it.
Link: Yeahsurewhatever. Can we go now?
Deku Tree: Be patient, Link. I have more to say.
Link: (exasperated sigh)
Deku Tree: I will pass away soon...
Link: Uhuh.
Deku Tree: ...
Navi: ...
Link: ...
Deku Tree: ...
Link: ...What?
Deku Tree: I, the one hast been the guardian spirit of the Kokiri for centuries, am about to die and leave the forest without protection from evil. Don't you even care?
Navi: Not really.
Link: I'm actually kind of glad.
Deku Tree: (crying)... Fine. Just get out. Just take this Spiritual Stone and get out. (gives them the Spiritual Stone of the Forest)
Link: Thanks!
Deku Tree: Navi... I entreat ye... (dies)
Navi: Huh? What?
Link: Yeah! Free firewood for life!
Navi: What?
Link: Look at him! He's huge! We can use him for firewood forever!
Navi: ...
Link: Ooh ooh, even better: We can cut him up and sell him! Like, "get a piece of the Great Deku Tree, only 50 rupees!"
Navi: Um... let's just go... (quietly) before you get any other crazy ideas...
Link and Navi: (leaves)
Well, although Link actually defeated Queen Gohma and the curse, he was unable to save the Great Deku Tree, so it died. Cry me a river. However, what do they do now? The Deku Tree died before he could tell them. Big jerk. Well, we'll find out on the next episode, won't we? Yes we will, son... yes we will. (walks off into the sunset)