Heehee thankies for the reviews =D Here's the last and final part!
Part Two
When the light of your life dies, days tend to blur, tend to become meaningless and you loose interest. Consequently, you walk around in a daze, on automatic pilot, doing what's required and going through the motions, but you are an empty shell. You hear the words but aren't listening, see what's happening, but don't take any notice, its like you're detached from your body and look at the world from a whole new perspective, one that you can't change and is hard to pull out of.
It was how Scott lived now, had been living for nearly two weeks. And, frankly, Ororo was tired of it. Yes, they had been in love. Yes, they knew he missed her so much he couldn't speak her name anymore without getting upset. But did he think that he was the only one? Jean had been his very first student of his first students, his telepathic prodigy, the one with all the potential to be just as, or more, powerful than he. The entire school missed her, but they were moping about? No.
It was this that led to her searching the entire mansion for the certain X-Man.
"Scott, what are you doing?"
She'd finally found him, on the roof, staring at the fading sunset. It was a beautiful one today, the colours crystal clear and reaching into the sky, shimmering reds, oranges and yellows.
"Scott?"
He still hadn't acknowledged that she was even there.
"Scott, are you okay?"
Originally coming up her to talk sense into him, she found herself increasingly worried about him as she stepped closer, he still hadn't moved, it was like he wasn't even breathing.
"Scott!"
"Huh?" he finally responded when she shook his shoulders.
"Moping about still?"
"I'm not -"
"Yes you are, Scott! You do nothing but walk around half there, and the rest on that damn motocycle! Don't think no ones noticed you tearing out of here every night for the past week!"
Scott stared at her, yet he made no attempt to defend himself, so she carried on, softer,
"The students miss your pop quizzes -they say you haven't set any since Jean died."
"It doesn't matter anymore." His voice croaked from lack of use, it wasn't only the tests that'd stopped, he barely spoke anymore either; "Nothing matters."
"So the school doesn't matter? The Professor? The kids?" Ororo challenged,
"Of course they do, but - they - I - it -"
"It's different?"
"Yes!"
"How, Scott? Do you think they don't miss her too? Do you think you are the only one who loved her? I never thought you to be selfish."
He stared at her, his red shades dominating an unreadable face.
"You don't understand 'Ro, you can't… its just,"
"Hard?" she said, "People dying is always hard, and it affects their loved ones even more, but death is a part of life. You deal with it and move on, because that's all you can do -you can't keep somebody from dying."
"You don't understand!" he cried, striding past her, Ororo, however, had had enough of this. They were getting to the bottom of it now; he wasn't going to wallow in self-pity any longer.
"Then explain it to me."
He froze in place not six paces away, unsure of what to do next. She couldn't understand, and if she did, would she be mad at him? He'd broken his promise, and now Jean was gone…
"My fault," he said finally,
"What? Scott, what are you talking about?" Ororo watched Scott visibly struggle with his emotions as they played across his usually controlled face.
"I promised her, I promised Jean that I'd take care of her. I failed and now she's dead."
How could he be so… Ororo didn't finish her thought; instead she closed the distance between them and held him close. She felt him tense, but she didn't let go and he eventually relaxed, returning the hug.
"It's not your fault; she chose to stay out there, refused to let anyone save her as she saved us all. There was nothing you could have done."
He spoke into her neck, "How do you know that?"
Ororo resisted the urge to hit him, selecting the second option instead. Pushing him away she looked straight into his sunglasses, to where she presumed, and hoped, his eyes were.
"Because you tried, I tried, Kurt tried, and so did the Professor. Even Logan did. She made up her mind when she stepped down that ramp, Scott."
Tears were slipping through, not streaming like they do in bad movies when the hero dies, but real life, grief fuelled tears that built up inside your chest, welling up where your heart lies until there's nothing you can do and they fall, slowly, one by one.
"If you don't believe in anything else, believe that."
He sniffed, and Ororo had to replay it to be sure it happened. He looked like a child, though he was crying over a little more than spilt milk.
"And, I believe that Jean would not want you giving up on life, like you have done. It's not like you to give in."
Scott nodded, looking back to the almost spent sun,
"I miss her."
"We all do," she said, "Do you remember when you first got your bike after you got your license? You were so excited you were practically bouncing off of the walls. You wanted to go out on it all night and all day for the rest of your life."
The edges of his mouth turned up slightly at the memory, "Jean forbade me. She said, if I wanted to end up a pile of blood and guts on a road somewhere I was welcome to, and if I survived she would never speak to me again."
Ororo laughed, "I've never seen you look so torn!"
"It was a hard choice: my bike or my girl! We compromised eventually though… she bought me leathers and a helmet for my un-birthday." He openly smiled now, joining in with Ororo, who was twice as happy to see Scott smiling at all -it had been too long. It was also the first time they'd spoken about their memories, the funeral had been a difficult one that Scott only attended to satisfy Jean's mother's grieving needs -they held it in a church, which he disliked, they'd invited all of the Grey family friends, most or all of which Jean barely tolerated, and they'd buried a casket even though there was no body, which Scott was furious at.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" Ororo offered, holding out her hand to him, a long time friend. He nodded, grasping the extended hand.
They walked down the roof, still discussing Jean and recalling their fond memories. Sneaking a short glance now and then, she was pleased to see Scott relaxed and comfortable walking about the gardens. Finally, she thought, he was going to be okay, not right now, but he was on the pale red brick road to regaining most of his life back.
And that night, he didn't steal away on his bike.
Part Two
When the light of your life dies, days tend to blur, tend to become meaningless and you loose interest. Consequently, you walk around in a daze, on automatic pilot, doing what's required and going through the motions, but you are an empty shell. You hear the words but aren't listening, see what's happening, but don't take any notice, its like you're detached from your body and look at the world from a whole new perspective, one that you can't change and is hard to pull out of.
It was how Scott lived now, had been living for nearly two weeks. And, frankly, Ororo was tired of it. Yes, they had been in love. Yes, they knew he missed her so much he couldn't speak her name anymore without getting upset. But did he think that he was the only one? Jean had been his very first student of his first students, his telepathic prodigy, the one with all the potential to be just as, or more, powerful than he. The entire school missed her, but they were moping about? No.
It was this that led to her searching the entire mansion for the certain X-Man.
"Scott, what are you doing?"
She'd finally found him, on the roof, staring at the fading sunset. It was a beautiful one today, the colours crystal clear and reaching into the sky, shimmering reds, oranges and yellows.
"Scott?"
He still hadn't acknowledged that she was even there.
"Scott, are you okay?"
Originally coming up her to talk sense into him, she found herself increasingly worried about him as she stepped closer, he still hadn't moved, it was like he wasn't even breathing.
"Scott!"
"Huh?" he finally responded when she shook his shoulders.
"Moping about still?"
"I'm not -"
"Yes you are, Scott! You do nothing but walk around half there, and the rest on that damn motocycle! Don't think no ones noticed you tearing out of here every night for the past week!"
Scott stared at her, yet he made no attempt to defend himself, so she carried on, softer,
"The students miss your pop quizzes -they say you haven't set any since Jean died."
"It doesn't matter anymore." His voice croaked from lack of use, it wasn't only the tests that'd stopped, he barely spoke anymore either; "Nothing matters."
"So the school doesn't matter? The Professor? The kids?" Ororo challenged,
"Of course they do, but - they - I - it -"
"It's different?"
"Yes!"
"How, Scott? Do you think they don't miss her too? Do you think you are the only one who loved her? I never thought you to be selfish."
He stared at her, his red shades dominating an unreadable face.
"You don't understand 'Ro, you can't… its just,"
"Hard?" she said, "People dying is always hard, and it affects their loved ones even more, but death is a part of life. You deal with it and move on, because that's all you can do -you can't keep somebody from dying."
"You don't understand!" he cried, striding past her, Ororo, however, had had enough of this. They were getting to the bottom of it now; he wasn't going to wallow in self-pity any longer.
"Then explain it to me."
He froze in place not six paces away, unsure of what to do next. She couldn't understand, and if she did, would she be mad at him? He'd broken his promise, and now Jean was gone…
"My fault," he said finally,
"What? Scott, what are you talking about?" Ororo watched Scott visibly struggle with his emotions as they played across his usually controlled face.
"I promised her, I promised Jean that I'd take care of her. I failed and now she's dead."
How could he be so… Ororo didn't finish her thought; instead she closed the distance between them and held him close. She felt him tense, but she didn't let go and he eventually relaxed, returning the hug.
"It's not your fault; she chose to stay out there, refused to let anyone save her as she saved us all. There was nothing you could have done."
He spoke into her neck, "How do you know that?"
Ororo resisted the urge to hit him, selecting the second option instead. Pushing him away she looked straight into his sunglasses, to where she presumed, and hoped, his eyes were.
"Because you tried, I tried, Kurt tried, and so did the Professor. Even Logan did. She made up her mind when she stepped down that ramp, Scott."
Tears were slipping through, not streaming like they do in bad movies when the hero dies, but real life, grief fuelled tears that built up inside your chest, welling up where your heart lies until there's nothing you can do and they fall, slowly, one by one.
"If you don't believe in anything else, believe that."
He sniffed, and Ororo had to replay it to be sure it happened. He looked like a child, though he was crying over a little more than spilt milk.
"And, I believe that Jean would not want you giving up on life, like you have done. It's not like you to give in."
Scott nodded, looking back to the almost spent sun,
"I miss her."
"We all do," she said, "Do you remember when you first got your bike after you got your license? You were so excited you were practically bouncing off of the walls. You wanted to go out on it all night and all day for the rest of your life."
The edges of his mouth turned up slightly at the memory, "Jean forbade me. She said, if I wanted to end up a pile of blood and guts on a road somewhere I was welcome to, and if I survived she would never speak to me again."
Ororo laughed, "I've never seen you look so torn!"
"It was a hard choice: my bike or my girl! We compromised eventually though… she bought me leathers and a helmet for my un-birthday." He openly smiled now, joining in with Ororo, who was twice as happy to see Scott smiling at all -it had been too long. It was also the first time they'd spoken about their memories, the funeral had been a difficult one that Scott only attended to satisfy Jean's mother's grieving needs -they held it in a church, which he disliked, they'd invited all of the Grey family friends, most or all of which Jean barely tolerated, and they'd buried a casket even though there was no body, which Scott was furious at.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" Ororo offered, holding out her hand to him, a long time friend. He nodded, grasping the extended hand.
They walked down the roof, still discussing Jean and recalling their fond memories. Sneaking a short glance now and then, she was pleased to see Scott relaxed and comfortable walking about the gardens. Finally, she thought, he was going to be okay, not right now, but he was on the pale red brick road to regaining most of his life back.
And that night, he didn't steal away on his bike.