Love Never Dies
BB: HI! This is my first yugioh fic, so go easy on me! Flames are used for my barbeque grill. We will be having "Anzu Surprise".
Disclaimer: me no own, you no sue ('me no own' goes for yugioh characters, Avril Lavigne, and Backstreet Boys, NOT the story plot, which is totally mine and if there are any similarities to any other fics I'm sorry! It wasn't on purpose!)
BB: WARNING: THIS FIC CONTAINS YAOI. Don't like it? That's YOUR problem, not mine. And also Bakura is very OOC, sorry. And I know I'm using really old songs for this, I just wrote this a really long time ago, and now have the courage to see what people think of it (mind you, it might suck).
~Lyrics
thoughts
"speech"
[A/N]
Lyrics with a ~ after them=end of first song (ther will be 2 songs to each chapter cuz there are so many songs that would go perfectly with a fic and I am too lazy to write separate fics for them all. The first song for this chapter is Avril Lavigne's 'Unwanted' and the second is 'Shape of my Heart' by the Backstreet Boys. I apologize for any wrong lyrics.)
BB: That said and done, let's get on with the story!^_^
Chapter 1: Wake Up
~All they did was walk over start off by shaking your hand
Bakura sat, lost in memories, gazing out at the bright mid-summer moon, while in the very next room, his counterpart did the same.
He had beat Ryou again today. He didn't know why he had done it, but it just...felt like he had to. He knew of no other way of venting his emotions.
~Thats how it went
He didn't even know what his emotions were anymore.
He hated that helpless feeling. He hated even more the feeling he got in his stomach whenever he looked at Ryou.
~I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight
When he looked at Ryou's smooth, silvery hair...his gentle, pale skin...and especially his large, soft, beautiful, to die for brown eyes, it made him want to go nuts...break things...give in to insanity...
~Oh, yeah yeah
He accepted it. He was in love with Ryou.
He wanted to give the world to his hikari. He wanted to tell him how he felt.
~I wanted to know you I wanted to show you
But instead, he just made him cry.
It broke his heart, but he didn't know any other way to interact with someone who made him feel so...different...
~You don't own me don't ignore me you don't want me there you just shut me out You don't know me don't ignore me if you had your way you'd just shut me out make me go away
So he continued to live a lie.
* * *
Ryou silently backed away from the window and crawled into bed, nursing the wounds his yami had given him.
Why did Bakura hate him so much? What had he ever done?
~oh, I just don't understand why you won't talk to me it hurts
He rolled over to look at a picture on his nightstand of himself and his father, right after he had recieved the Millenium Ring.
This is all your fault. he thought angrily, glaring at his father's two dimentional image.
You give me a demon, and then you leave on one of your precious archeological freak expeditions. You always loved them more than you ever loved me.
~And so I'm wanted for nothing don't talk words against me
He fought back tears, and his hand curled into a fist.
And then you die reading a rock instead of here with me. You died doing what you what you love instead of with the people I thought you loved. Well I hope you got what you wanted. I hate you.
~I wanted to know you I wanted to show you
Ryou slammed the picture facedown. The glass covering shattered, but he didn't care.
It was because of his father that he had no one. No one that would actually listen, care, comfort.
~you don't own me don't ignore me you don't want me there you just shut me out
All he had was a drunken tomb robber, who put his life deeper into hell than it already was.
~you don't know me don't ignore me if you had your way you'd just shut me out make me go away
Ryou put his head into his hands. He was about to burst from anger and sorrow, when, from the deepest corner of his heart, he heard a voice.
'When you hit the bottom, the only place to go is up. Up, to Heaven, where you belong...my sweet angel...I love you...'
He could almost feel the phantom arms of his mother holding him close.
She had been the joy of his life, the one he always turned to.
But now she was gone. Gone, just like his father.
~make me go away
Maybe he could've managed to live through all this, though, if it hadn't been for Bakura.
He loved his yami.
He loved him more than anything.
~I tried to be along it didnt seem wrong
How much time had he spent staring at the wild hair, the sharp eyes, the lean, muscular body of his counterpart? He had lost track of it.
~my head aches
But he knew his yami would never love him back. He thought jealously of Yugi and his yami, and how the Pharoah's eyes always shone so brightly when they kissed.
Ryou hated his life, and realized with a jolt that there was no reason to keep living it.
He could say goodbye to everyone tomorrow, and then kill himself (also causing the Spirit of the Ring to die) and be with his mother.
~it's been so long I write this song thats what it takes
He smiled, all his anger, tension, and sorrow draining away. It sounded like the best thing in the world.
Snuggling into his pillows, he fell asleep with the happy thought that you could suffer infinitely, but you could only die once.
~you don't own me don't ignore me you don't want me there you just shut me out you don't know me don't ignore me if you had your way you'd just shut me out make me go away
* * *
Meanwhile, Bakura was still staring out the window, stewing in guilt.
He finally got fed up, and decided to go talk to Marik, the only human being he had ever vaguely gotten along with.
Quietly, he left the house and ran as fast as he could over to Marik's.
He rang the doorbell, panting. Ishizu answered the door.
''Please...huff huff... I need to talk...huff huff...to Marik...'' he gasped.
''He's upstairs watching TV.'' she answered, and moved out of his way, allowing him access to the staircase.
Bakura ascended it, then stopped in front of Marik's door and knocked.
''Come in! Ishizu, what do you want now? It's 12:45 at night, for Ra's sake-'' Marik turned away from flipping through the channels, and saw Bakura standing there. ''Oh. Sorry. What is it?''
''I...I need to tell you something, and ask for advice.''
Marik raised his eyebrows in surprise at Bakura's worried and sad face. ''What?'' He thought Bakura had come to take him to a bar or something. That was usually the only reason he visited.
''Well...you know...you know my hikari?''
''Yeah, what about him?''
''Well...um...'' Bakura squirmed uncomfortably, looking anywhere but at the Egyptian with cream colored hair in front of him. He had never done this before, and hadn't thought about how to phrase it. ''I love him.'' he finished lamely.
Marik stared. ''And you want to talk to me about this, why?''
Bakura fidgeted. He hated this. ''Because...well...you're my only real friend...''
''Touched.''
''Shut up...anyway...I just...wanted to ask you what you think I should do...''
Marik had never seen him like this before. He was shaking, slightly pink, and wouldn't look him in the eye. ''Uh...I haven't really had experience in this sort of thing...and...'' At Bakura's desperate look, he hastily added ''But definintely the first thing you should do is...well...when you love someone, you have to tell them...at least...I don't know...''
Bakura had been afraid of that answer. How could he tell Ryou? Ryou hated him! ''But I-''
''Listen, it's late, and, um, you should probably go home...'' Marik was getting really uncomfortable with this conversation. Bakura sighed.
''Okay...'' He reluctantly left.
Trudging home, he struggled with himself. The fact remained that he loved Ryou, and that only left him one option...
~you don't own me don't ignore me you don't want me there you just shut me out you don't know me don't ignore me if you had your way you'd just shut me out make me go away make me go away make me go away~
* * *
Ryou walked home from school the next day in higher spirits than he had been in in a long time. He had spent the day relaxing and neglecting his homework, knowing that today was his last day and he wouldn't be turning it in anyway.
~Baby please try to forgive me stay here dont put out the glow
''Hey Ryou!'' Yugi called him over to stand with his gang.
''Oh! Hello!'' He gladly ran over to them.
''Ryou! How've you been?'' Tea asked in an annoyingly chipper voice. Joey and Kaiba looked up from frenching each other.
''Better before I breathed the air that you touched and went deaf listening to your 'friendship speeches'.'' he snapped, thouroughly enjoying himself. Everyone snorted with laughter. Ryou had voiced what they'd all been dying to say.
Tea stuttered, then angrily stomped away, muttering something that sounded very much like ''*******...''
Ryou sneered after her.
''Hey Ryou, why are you so happy today?'' Yugi asked after he stopped laughing.
''Yeah, you've been really brave and...different all day! What's up?'' Joey asked while Seto went back to covering his neck with feather light kisses.
''Whatever it is, keep it that way! You totally rocked today!'' Tristan exclaimed.
Ryou beamed. Today he had snapped at 14 different strangers, defied a teacher, took down 3 kids at once who were bullying him, held a loud and hilarious conversation with a table full of people, flirted with 4 of the most popular girls in the school, whipped the other teams butt in P.E., and walked through the halls like he owned the place the entire day.
Normally, he would talk to no one, read a book constantly, and be the teacher's pet. Only when he decided to milk life for all it was worth did he realize how much fun it was.
''I realized that you should live life to its fullest extent.'' He told them. Having them all stare back with glowing admiration (even Seto Kaiba) meant the world to him.
He turned and started home to write his will. ''Goodbye! You guys are the best friends ever! I'll never forget you!'' He called over his shoulder.
''Bye Ryou!'' they all called back, waving vigorously.
He closed his eyes contently. Why hadn't he thought of this long ago? Let's see...when he got home he was going to have his favorite meal, write his will, read his favorite parts of his favorite book, watch his favorite TV show, and (he winced) tell Bakura how he felt about him.
~hold me now, don't bother if every minute it makes me weaker
Then he was going to take the beautiful knife that he had bought the other day and kill himself. Hmmm...I better slice my wrist, so that I don't have too much pain, and can see my mother more quickly.
~you can save me from the man that I've become
He went home, did most all those things, and then played loud punk rock while he was writing his will. That music annoyed Bakura immensely. Hadn't the kid ever heard of good plain rap??
He stormed into Ryou's room and changed the station. He was surprised when Ryou didn't protest; instead he started bobbing his head and turned up the bass even louder.
Really, he had to hand it to his friends and yami, this music was actually pretty good. Ryou thought.
Bakura suspiciously walked over to Ryou's desk, to see what was making him act so weird. He took one look, and his heart stopped. Ryou was writing a will. That meant he was going to-
Ryou finished and calmly stood up, rolling the paper into a tube and tying it with a ribbon, then placed it gently onto his desk. He turned to look into the eyes of his dumbstruck yami.
Bakura was silent. He just stared, while his mind was racing. Ryou was going to commit suicide! He would never know how much he had meant to him! He was never going to see him again! And to top it off, if Ryou killed himself, then-he would die too! Because of the Millenium Ring!
Ryou tried to read his expression, but it had suddenly gone blank. There was no flame, ice, or even malice sparking behind his eyes. They were just empty. Ryou took a deep breath. Now came the hardest part. He turned the music off.
Ryou pulled the Millenium Ring off of his neck, and gave it to the tomb robber. ''You won't die with me now.'' he said softly.
Bakura didn't respond. He didn't know how to. He just shut his eyes, which were welling up with tears, and ran into his room and shut the door.
Ryou sighed, surprised, but sad for the first time today. Of course, he hadn't expected Bakura to care, but he got the feeling that there was something he was missing.
He wasn't going to kill himself until Bakura knew of his love for him, but he just didn't know how to tell him.
Ryou sighed, his good mood gone, and went to sit at the window and gaze at the moon for a while...he loved doing that anyway...he decided that when he had thought of a way to tell Bakura, he would.
* * *
What am I going to do?! Bakura thought, pacing his room. He was overwhelmed with sadness and shame. It's because of me that he's doing this...it's because I beat him so much...oh Ryou...all I ever did was love you...it wasn't supposed to hurt...
~looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I played my part kept you in the dark now let me show you the shape of my heart
Marik's words came echoing back to him. "When you love someone, you have to tell them..."
Bakura sat up. What if Ryou was about to kill himself right now? He had to confess...he loved him so much...
He tiptoed down the hallway and entered Ryou's room, making no sound audible to the naked human ear. He saw Ryou, his beautiful brown eyes gazing out at the moon, idly twirling an exquisite blade between his fingers.
~sadness is beautiful
Silently, he walked up to him.
Ryou wasn't even thinking anymore, just staring at the moon he loved so much...he wanted to just cease to exist...suddenly, he heard a voice call out his name.
''Ryou...'' He recognized the voice as Bakura's, but there was something different about it...it was gentle, full of love...no. He was just imagining things. Bakura had probably come to beat him up one last time. Tears poured quietly down Ryou's face.
~loneliness is tragical
Bakura walked up and gently put a hand on Ryou's chin, turning his head to face him.
~so help me I cant live like this anymore
Ryou expected a punch in the face. Instead, he found himself staring into Bakura's eyes. He felt soft lips press against his own, and gentle arms wind their way around his body. He opened his mouth in surprise and immediately felt Bakura's tongue enter it.
~touch me now dont bother if every second it makes me weaker
Ryou was so confused. He tried to pull away to get some answers. Bakura felt him and his heart shattered. But he did not break the kiss, knowing full well that this would be the only time he got to kiss Ryou ever again, and he wanted it to last...
~you can save me from the man that I've become
Ryou could literally feel the pain that built up inside his yami because of their connection, and realized what he had done. He could get answers later.
Bakura suddenly felt Ryou press back, deepen the kiss. Then Ryou's hands tentively slid up his neck and started to run through his hair. Bakura was filled with immense relief and even stronger love for his hikari.
~looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I played my part kept you in the dark now let me show you the shape of my heart
He scooped up Ryou and placed him in a sitting position on the bed, never breaking the kiss. He situated himself on the bed also, pulling Ryou into his lap, where their grips on each other became more intimate.
Then, Ryou pulled away. ''I can't do this...'' Bakura desperately tried to pull Ryou towards him again, but he resisted.
''Why not?...I love you, Ryou...''
~I'm here with my confession got nothing to hide no more
''If you love me, why do you hit me?'' Tears started to well up in Ryou's eyes again. ''Why do you pick on me, despise me every other day? Why is it today that you tell me? Is it just to keep me from killing myself? Answer me...please...''
~I dont know where to start but to show you the shape of my heart
Bakura finally knew the answer to that question. Ryou saw him visibly soften; there were no sharp edges to his hair, no narrow eyes...
''Ryou, please try to undersand this...'' He held Ryou's face in his hands, pointing it towards him and leaning in a bit. ''I beat you because I love you.''
~I'm looking back on things I've done I never wanna play the same old part
Ryou turned his face away. That was the best excuse he could come up with?
Bakura sensed Ryou's doubt and sighed. ''Please listen...I've never ever been in love with anyone this way before. I loved you so much, but thought that you could never love me...and so I beat you, because I resented that...I wanted to make you hate me, and be mean to me so that I would hate you in return, and be able to shake off that feeling...'' Bakura winced mentally after he said this. How sappy can I get?!
~keep you in the dark now let me show you the shape of my heart
Ryou, though, felt the truth beneath those words. Either I am the most gullible person on the planet, or my dream is finally coming true...
Bakura continued speaking. ''But you never hated me...after everything I did to you, you held your head high and continued to love and care for me...and tonight, I realized for the first time what I had done to you...''
~looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I played my part kept you in the dark now let me show you the shape of my heart
Tears poured freely down Ryou's face, and he buried his head in Bakura's chest. Bakura pulled him close and started to gently rock him.
''Shhh...my beautiful hikari...my light...don't cry...I'm here...I love you...''
Ryou looked up at his yami, his large eyes reflecting the moonlight. He softly brought his lips to Bakura's and whispered, ''I love you too.''
~looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I played my part kept you in the dark now let me show you the shape of show you the shape of my heart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
BB: Well? How was the first chapter? I planned this story to be 3 chapters, but I may just make it a one-shot if nobody likes it ^_^;;. It'll take me a while to update, but I will work much faster if I get reviews! (hint hint) So, like the story? Didn't like it? Want something added? REVIEW AND TELL ME!!!!^_^ Oh, and since this is my first story and I am a clueless author -_-;; would someone please tell me what A/U means? I know what it implys, but not what it stands for.
Chapter 2: Break up
*1 month later*
Bakura awoke next to find his hikari plastered to his body, Ryou's head on his chest. He looked so beautiful when he slept...
Bakura looked at the clock. Wholy crap! It was 8:00 already?! If Ryou didn't get up now, he'd be late for school...still...it seemed a shame to wake him...
He sighed and ran his hands over Ryou's bare back. ''Light...it's time to get up now...'' He stirred, then lazily opened his eyes halfway.
''Yawn...what time is it?'' He asked.
''It's 8:00.''
''What?! Oh no! I'm going to be late!'' Ryou jumped out of bed and hurriedly began putting on his uniform. Bakura let out a small laugh at him, as he jammed his jacket on his foot.
Not having to get ready for school, Bakura leaned back and started to fall asleep again.
Ryou bolted downstairs and gathered his homework, skipping breakfast. He raced out the door, and was almost to school when his yami appeared beside him. He stopped.
''What is it?'' He asked.
Bakura wound his arms around Ryou's waist and pulled him into a slow kiss. ''I forgot to say good bye...''
Ryou glanced at his watch. He wasn't that late. This was his normal arriving time. He had a few extra minutes...
He relaxed into the embrace, when he started to smell something...there was the scent of vodka on Bakura's breath. He pushed him away.
''I thought I told you to stop drinking.'' Ryou said a bit angrily. Bakura sighed.
''It's hard...drinking helps me clear my mind...''
''No it doesn't. It ruins your mind. I never want to catch you drinking again, understand?'' Ryou asked his dark side firmly.
''But Ryou...''
''No more.'' Ryou turned away, sprinting into school.
* * *
Ryou sat in his most boring class, Spanish (it was boring because he could speak about 4+ languages already, powers borrowed from his yami), thinking about Bakura's alcohol addiction.
Lately Bakura had been getting drunk a lot, and he would go mad and beat Ryou and everyone else who got in his way. Ryou was really worried. He had threatened to break up with him if he kept drinking, and that had made him ease up a little, but he still snuck out to bars at night...
Ryou sighed. Bakura had even managed to slightly conceal his hangovers. This had to stop. Finally, the bell rang, and everyone stampeded out the door before they could be assigned homework.
Ryou walked home, to find his yami lazily watching TV. He walked over and slid into Bakura's lap, where he got a welcome home kiss.
''You are so lucky you don't have to go to school...'' Ryou mumbled.
''Hey, you're forgetting that I learned all of this 5000 years ago. Why should I have to learn it again? Besides...you don't exactly need Literature or Trig to plunder tombs.'' Bakura smirked.
Ryou laughed. ''No, I guess not.''
The things I hate about you
Ever since I met you, you haven't left my side I hate the way you're always in my heart and on my mind And after all the things you've done to make me mad at you for I hate myself because I forgive and love you so much more I hate the way you used to look, with a dark, malicious stare I even hated my heart back then because of how much I still cared I hate it when you beat me up and how you make me cry But even more I hate the way you dry tears from my eyes I hate how before you confessed, inside I was torn apart I hate you for not seeing that I, too, have a heart I hate the way you're always so unpredictable in what you do I hate myself for being willing to give my life for you I hate the way that you're always drinking every day I hate it when I tell you 'no' and you push me away I hate the way I care so much for you still I hate you for not seeing that I love you, always have, always will I hate our conversations and the way you talk about When I fall into your dreams and how I won't get out I hate the way that when I need you most you're always close by I hate the way it feels so good when you hold me in the night I hate that when I gazed into your eyes we were meant to be I was almost going to kill myself and then suddenly You come and grab me without warning, and say 'I love you' I hate what I said back, I told you that I love you too You gave me a reason to live that day, for the first time, you were kind I hate that I started over for you and left my past behind Of all the things I hate about you that caused our love to fall By far what I hate most is that I don't hate you at all.
BB: HI! This is my first yugioh fic, so go easy on me! Flames are used for my barbeque grill. We will be having "Anzu Surprise".
Disclaimer: me no own, you no sue ('me no own' goes for yugioh characters, Avril Lavigne, and Backstreet Boys, NOT the story plot, which is totally mine and if there are any similarities to any other fics I'm sorry! It wasn't on purpose!)
BB: WARNING: THIS FIC CONTAINS YAOI. Don't like it? That's YOUR problem, not mine. And also Bakura is very OOC, sorry. And I know I'm using really old songs for this, I just wrote this a really long time ago, and now have the courage to see what people think of it (mind you, it might suck).
~Lyrics
thoughts
"speech"
[A/N]
Lyrics with a ~ after them=end of first song (ther will be 2 songs to each chapter cuz there are so many songs that would go perfectly with a fic and I am too lazy to write separate fics for them all. The first song for this chapter is Avril Lavigne's 'Unwanted' and the second is 'Shape of my Heart' by the Backstreet Boys. I apologize for any wrong lyrics.)
BB: That said and done, let's get on with the story!^_^
Chapter 1: Wake Up
~All they did was walk over start off by shaking your hand
Bakura sat, lost in memories, gazing out at the bright mid-summer moon, while in the very next room, his counterpart did the same.
He had beat Ryou again today. He didn't know why he had done it, but it just...felt like he had to. He knew of no other way of venting his emotions.
~Thats how it went
He didn't even know what his emotions were anymore.
He hated that helpless feeling. He hated even more the feeling he got in his stomach whenever he looked at Ryou.
~I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight
When he looked at Ryou's smooth, silvery hair...his gentle, pale skin...and especially his large, soft, beautiful, to die for brown eyes, it made him want to go nuts...break things...give in to insanity...
~Oh, yeah yeah
He accepted it. He was in love with Ryou.
He wanted to give the world to his hikari. He wanted to tell him how he felt.
~I wanted to know you I wanted to show you
But instead, he just made him cry.
It broke his heart, but he didn't know any other way to interact with someone who made him feel so...different...
~You don't own me don't ignore me you don't want me there you just shut me out You don't know me don't ignore me if you had your way you'd just shut me out make me go away
So he continued to live a lie.
* * *
Ryou silently backed away from the window and crawled into bed, nursing the wounds his yami had given him.
Why did Bakura hate him so much? What had he ever done?
~oh, I just don't understand why you won't talk to me it hurts
He rolled over to look at a picture on his nightstand of himself and his father, right after he had recieved the Millenium Ring.
This is all your fault. he thought angrily, glaring at his father's two dimentional image.
You give me a demon, and then you leave on one of your precious archeological freak expeditions. You always loved them more than you ever loved me.
~And so I'm wanted for nothing don't talk words against me
He fought back tears, and his hand curled into a fist.
And then you die reading a rock instead of here with me. You died doing what you what you love instead of with the people I thought you loved. Well I hope you got what you wanted. I hate you.
~I wanted to know you I wanted to show you
Ryou slammed the picture facedown. The glass covering shattered, but he didn't care.
It was because of his father that he had no one. No one that would actually listen, care, comfort.
~you don't own me don't ignore me you don't want me there you just shut me out
All he had was a drunken tomb robber, who put his life deeper into hell than it already was.
~you don't know me don't ignore me if you had your way you'd just shut me out make me go away
Ryou put his head into his hands. He was about to burst from anger and sorrow, when, from the deepest corner of his heart, he heard a voice.
'When you hit the bottom, the only place to go is up. Up, to Heaven, where you belong...my sweet angel...I love you...'
He could almost feel the phantom arms of his mother holding him close.
She had been the joy of his life, the one he always turned to.
But now she was gone. Gone, just like his father.
~make me go away
Maybe he could've managed to live through all this, though, if it hadn't been for Bakura.
He loved his yami.
He loved him more than anything.
~I tried to be along it didnt seem wrong
How much time had he spent staring at the wild hair, the sharp eyes, the lean, muscular body of his counterpart? He had lost track of it.
~my head aches
But he knew his yami would never love him back. He thought jealously of Yugi and his yami, and how the Pharoah's eyes always shone so brightly when they kissed.
Ryou hated his life, and realized with a jolt that there was no reason to keep living it.
He could say goodbye to everyone tomorrow, and then kill himself (also causing the Spirit of the Ring to die) and be with his mother.
~it's been so long I write this song thats what it takes
He smiled, all his anger, tension, and sorrow draining away. It sounded like the best thing in the world.
Snuggling into his pillows, he fell asleep with the happy thought that you could suffer infinitely, but you could only die once.
~you don't own me don't ignore me you don't want me there you just shut me out you don't know me don't ignore me if you had your way you'd just shut me out make me go away
* * *
Meanwhile, Bakura was still staring out the window, stewing in guilt.
He finally got fed up, and decided to go talk to Marik, the only human being he had ever vaguely gotten along with.
Quietly, he left the house and ran as fast as he could over to Marik's.
He rang the doorbell, panting. Ishizu answered the door.
''Please...huff huff... I need to talk...huff huff...to Marik...'' he gasped.
''He's upstairs watching TV.'' she answered, and moved out of his way, allowing him access to the staircase.
Bakura ascended it, then stopped in front of Marik's door and knocked.
''Come in! Ishizu, what do you want now? It's 12:45 at night, for Ra's sake-'' Marik turned away from flipping through the channels, and saw Bakura standing there. ''Oh. Sorry. What is it?''
''I...I need to tell you something, and ask for advice.''
Marik raised his eyebrows in surprise at Bakura's worried and sad face. ''What?'' He thought Bakura had come to take him to a bar or something. That was usually the only reason he visited.
''Well...you know...you know my hikari?''
''Yeah, what about him?''
''Well...um...'' Bakura squirmed uncomfortably, looking anywhere but at the Egyptian with cream colored hair in front of him. He had never done this before, and hadn't thought about how to phrase it. ''I love him.'' he finished lamely.
Marik stared. ''And you want to talk to me about this, why?''
Bakura fidgeted. He hated this. ''Because...well...you're my only real friend...''
''Touched.''
''Shut up...anyway...I just...wanted to ask you what you think I should do...''
Marik had never seen him like this before. He was shaking, slightly pink, and wouldn't look him in the eye. ''Uh...I haven't really had experience in this sort of thing...and...'' At Bakura's desperate look, he hastily added ''But definintely the first thing you should do is...well...when you love someone, you have to tell them...at least...I don't know...''
Bakura had been afraid of that answer. How could he tell Ryou? Ryou hated him! ''But I-''
''Listen, it's late, and, um, you should probably go home...'' Marik was getting really uncomfortable with this conversation. Bakura sighed.
''Okay...'' He reluctantly left.
Trudging home, he struggled with himself. The fact remained that he loved Ryou, and that only left him one option...
~you don't own me don't ignore me you don't want me there you just shut me out you don't know me don't ignore me if you had your way you'd just shut me out make me go away make me go away make me go away~
* * *
Ryou walked home from school the next day in higher spirits than he had been in in a long time. He had spent the day relaxing and neglecting his homework, knowing that today was his last day and he wouldn't be turning it in anyway.
~Baby please try to forgive me stay here dont put out the glow
''Hey Ryou!'' Yugi called him over to stand with his gang.
''Oh! Hello!'' He gladly ran over to them.
''Ryou! How've you been?'' Tea asked in an annoyingly chipper voice. Joey and Kaiba looked up from frenching each other.
''Better before I breathed the air that you touched and went deaf listening to your 'friendship speeches'.'' he snapped, thouroughly enjoying himself. Everyone snorted with laughter. Ryou had voiced what they'd all been dying to say.
Tea stuttered, then angrily stomped away, muttering something that sounded very much like ''*******...''
Ryou sneered after her.
''Hey Ryou, why are you so happy today?'' Yugi asked after he stopped laughing.
''Yeah, you've been really brave and...different all day! What's up?'' Joey asked while Seto went back to covering his neck with feather light kisses.
''Whatever it is, keep it that way! You totally rocked today!'' Tristan exclaimed.
Ryou beamed. Today he had snapped at 14 different strangers, defied a teacher, took down 3 kids at once who were bullying him, held a loud and hilarious conversation with a table full of people, flirted with 4 of the most popular girls in the school, whipped the other teams butt in P.E., and walked through the halls like he owned the place the entire day.
Normally, he would talk to no one, read a book constantly, and be the teacher's pet. Only when he decided to milk life for all it was worth did he realize how much fun it was.
''I realized that you should live life to its fullest extent.'' He told them. Having them all stare back with glowing admiration (even Seto Kaiba) meant the world to him.
He turned and started home to write his will. ''Goodbye! You guys are the best friends ever! I'll never forget you!'' He called over his shoulder.
''Bye Ryou!'' they all called back, waving vigorously.
He closed his eyes contently. Why hadn't he thought of this long ago? Let's see...when he got home he was going to have his favorite meal, write his will, read his favorite parts of his favorite book, watch his favorite TV show, and (he winced) tell Bakura how he felt about him.
~hold me now, don't bother if every minute it makes me weaker
Then he was going to take the beautiful knife that he had bought the other day and kill himself. Hmmm...I better slice my wrist, so that I don't have too much pain, and can see my mother more quickly.
~you can save me from the man that I've become
He went home, did most all those things, and then played loud punk rock while he was writing his will. That music annoyed Bakura immensely. Hadn't the kid ever heard of good plain rap??
He stormed into Ryou's room and changed the station. He was surprised when Ryou didn't protest; instead he started bobbing his head and turned up the bass even louder.
Really, he had to hand it to his friends and yami, this music was actually pretty good. Ryou thought.
Bakura suspiciously walked over to Ryou's desk, to see what was making him act so weird. He took one look, and his heart stopped. Ryou was writing a will. That meant he was going to-
Ryou finished and calmly stood up, rolling the paper into a tube and tying it with a ribbon, then placed it gently onto his desk. He turned to look into the eyes of his dumbstruck yami.
Bakura was silent. He just stared, while his mind was racing. Ryou was going to commit suicide! He would never know how much he had meant to him! He was never going to see him again! And to top it off, if Ryou killed himself, then-he would die too! Because of the Millenium Ring!
Ryou tried to read his expression, but it had suddenly gone blank. There was no flame, ice, or even malice sparking behind his eyes. They were just empty. Ryou took a deep breath. Now came the hardest part. He turned the music off.
Ryou pulled the Millenium Ring off of his neck, and gave it to the tomb robber. ''You won't die with me now.'' he said softly.
Bakura didn't respond. He didn't know how to. He just shut his eyes, which were welling up with tears, and ran into his room and shut the door.
Ryou sighed, surprised, but sad for the first time today. Of course, he hadn't expected Bakura to care, but he got the feeling that there was something he was missing.
He wasn't going to kill himself until Bakura knew of his love for him, but he just didn't know how to tell him.
Ryou sighed, his good mood gone, and went to sit at the window and gaze at the moon for a while...he loved doing that anyway...he decided that when he had thought of a way to tell Bakura, he would.
* * *
What am I going to do?! Bakura thought, pacing his room. He was overwhelmed with sadness and shame. It's because of me that he's doing this...it's because I beat him so much...oh Ryou...all I ever did was love you...it wasn't supposed to hurt...
~looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I played my part kept you in the dark now let me show you the shape of my heart
Marik's words came echoing back to him. "When you love someone, you have to tell them..."
Bakura sat up. What if Ryou was about to kill himself right now? He had to confess...he loved him so much...
He tiptoed down the hallway and entered Ryou's room, making no sound audible to the naked human ear. He saw Ryou, his beautiful brown eyes gazing out at the moon, idly twirling an exquisite blade between his fingers.
~sadness is beautiful
Silently, he walked up to him.
Ryou wasn't even thinking anymore, just staring at the moon he loved so much...he wanted to just cease to exist...suddenly, he heard a voice call out his name.
''Ryou...'' He recognized the voice as Bakura's, but there was something different about it...it was gentle, full of love...no. He was just imagining things. Bakura had probably come to beat him up one last time. Tears poured quietly down Ryou's face.
~loneliness is tragical
Bakura walked up and gently put a hand on Ryou's chin, turning his head to face him.
~so help me I cant live like this anymore
Ryou expected a punch in the face. Instead, he found himself staring into Bakura's eyes. He felt soft lips press against his own, and gentle arms wind their way around his body. He opened his mouth in surprise and immediately felt Bakura's tongue enter it.
~touch me now dont bother if every second it makes me weaker
Ryou was so confused. He tried to pull away to get some answers. Bakura felt him and his heart shattered. But he did not break the kiss, knowing full well that this would be the only time he got to kiss Ryou ever again, and he wanted it to last...
~you can save me from the man that I've become
Ryou could literally feel the pain that built up inside his yami because of their connection, and realized what he had done. He could get answers later.
Bakura suddenly felt Ryou press back, deepen the kiss. Then Ryou's hands tentively slid up his neck and started to run through his hair. Bakura was filled with immense relief and even stronger love for his hikari.
~looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I played my part kept you in the dark now let me show you the shape of my heart
He scooped up Ryou and placed him in a sitting position on the bed, never breaking the kiss. He situated himself on the bed also, pulling Ryou into his lap, where their grips on each other became more intimate.
Then, Ryou pulled away. ''I can't do this...'' Bakura desperately tried to pull Ryou towards him again, but he resisted.
''Why not?...I love you, Ryou...''
~I'm here with my confession got nothing to hide no more
''If you love me, why do you hit me?'' Tears started to well up in Ryou's eyes again. ''Why do you pick on me, despise me every other day? Why is it today that you tell me? Is it just to keep me from killing myself? Answer me...please...''
~I dont know where to start but to show you the shape of my heart
Bakura finally knew the answer to that question. Ryou saw him visibly soften; there were no sharp edges to his hair, no narrow eyes...
''Ryou, please try to undersand this...'' He held Ryou's face in his hands, pointing it towards him and leaning in a bit. ''I beat you because I love you.''
~I'm looking back on things I've done I never wanna play the same old part
Ryou turned his face away. That was the best excuse he could come up with?
Bakura sensed Ryou's doubt and sighed. ''Please listen...I've never ever been in love with anyone this way before. I loved you so much, but thought that you could never love me...and so I beat you, because I resented that...I wanted to make you hate me, and be mean to me so that I would hate you in return, and be able to shake off that feeling...'' Bakura winced mentally after he said this. How sappy can I get?!
~keep you in the dark now let me show you the shape of my heart
Ryou, though, felt the truth beneath those words. Either I am the most gullible person on the planet, or my dream is finally coming true...
Bakura continued speaking. ''But you never hated me...after everything I did to you, you held your head high and continued to love and care for me...and tonight, I realized for the first time what I had done to you...''
~looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I played my part kept you in the dark now let me show you the shape of my heart
Tears poured freely down Ryou's face, and he buried his head in Bakura's chest. Bakura pulled him close and started to gently rock him.
''Shhh...my beautiful hikari...my light...don't cry...I'm here...I love you...''
Ryou looked up at his yami, his large eyes reflecting the moonlight. He softly brought his lips to Bakura's and whispered, ''I love you too.''
~looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I played my part kept you in the dark now let me show you the shape of show you the shape of my heart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
BB: Well? How was the first chapter? I planned this story to be 3 chapters, but I may just make it a one-shot if nobody likes it ^_^;;. It'll take me a while to update, but I will work much faster if I get reviews! (hint hint) So, like the story? Didn't like it? Want something added? REVIEW AND TELL ME!!!!^_^ Oh, and since this is my first story and I am a clueless author -_-;; would someone please tell me what A/U means? I know what it implys, but not what it stands for.
Chapter 2: Break up
*1 month later*
Bakura awoke next to find his hikari plastered to his body, Ryou's head on his chest. He looked so beautiful when he slept...
Bakura looked at the clock. Wholy crap! It was 8:00 already?! If Ryou didn't get up now, he'd be late for school...still...it seemed a shame to wake him...
He sighed and ran his hands over Ryou's bare back. ''Light...it's time to get up now...'' He stirred, then lazily opened his eyes halfway.
''Yawn...what time is it?'' He asked.
''It's 8:00.''
''What?! Oh no! I'm going to be late!'' Ryou jumped out of bed and hurriedly began putting on his uniform. Bakura let out a small laugh at him, as he jammed his jacket on his foot.
Not having to get ready for school, Bakura leaned back and started to fall asleep again.
Ryou bolted downstairs and gathered his homework, skipping breakfast. He raced out the door, and was almost to school when his yami appeared beside him. He stopped.
''What is it?'' He asked.
Bakura wound his arms around Ryou's waist and pulled him into a slow kiss. ''I forgot to say good bye...''
Ryou glanced at his watch. He wasn't that late. This was his normal arriving time. He had a few extra minutes...
He relaxed into the embrace, when he started to smell something...there was the scent of vodka on Bakura's breath. He pushed him away.
''I thought I told you to stop drinking.'' Ryou said a bit angrily. Bakura sighed.
''It's hard...drinking helps me clear my mind...''
''No it doesn't. It ruins your mind. I never want to catch you drinking again, understand?'' Ryou asked his dark side firmly.
''But Ryou...''
''No more.'' Ryou turned away, sprinting into school.
* * *
Ryou sat in his most boring class, Spanish (it was boring because he could speak about 4+ languages already, powers borrowed from his yami), thinking about Bakura's alcohol addiction.
Lately Bakura had been getting drunk a lot, and he would go mad and beat Ryou and everyone else who got in his way. Ryou was really worried. He had threatened to break up with him if he kept drinking, and that had made him ease up a little, but he still snuck out to bars at night...
Ryou sighed. Bakura had even managed to slightly conceal his hangovers. This had to stop. Finally, the bell rang, and everyone stampeded out the door before they could be assigned homework.
Ryou walked home, to find his yami lazily watching TV. He walked over and slid into Bakura's lap, where he got a welcome home kiss.
''You are so lucky you don't have to go to school...'' Ryou mumbled.
''Hey, you're forgetting that I learned all of this 5000 years ago. Why should I have to learn it again? Besides...you don't exactly need Literature or Trig to plunder tombs.'' Bakura smirked.
Ryou laughed. ''No, I guess not.''
The things I hate about you
Ever since I met you, you haven't left my side I hate the way you're always in my heart and on my mind And after all the things you've done to make me mad at you for I hate myself because I forgive and love you so much more I hate the way you used to look, with a dark, malicious stare I even hated my heart back then because of how much I still cared I hate it when you beat me up and how you make me cry But even more I hate the way you dry tears from my eyes I hate how before you confessed, inside I was torn apart I hate you for not seeing that I, too, have a heart I hate the way you're always so unpredictable in what you do I hate myself for being willing to give my life for you I hate the way that you're always drinking every day I hate it when I tell you 'no' and you push me away I hate the way I care so much for you still I hate you for not seeing that I love you, always have, always will I hate our conversations and the way you talk about When I fall into your dreams and how I won't get out I hate the way that when I need you most you're always close by I hate the way it feels so good when you hold me in the night I hate that when I gazed into your eyes we were meant to be I was almost going to kill myself and then suddenly You come and grab me without warning, and say 'I love you' I hate what I said back, I told you that I love you too You gave me a reason to live that day, for the first time, you were kind I hate that I started over for you and left my past behind Of all the things I hate about you that caused our love to fall By far what I hate most is that I don't hate you at all.