Prologue
Awakening
I sighed while studying my own reflection in the mirror. It was still steamed from my shower, but it served its purpose. The reflected face seemed different somehow. But then again, I am different. I always have been. But now, I acknowledge those dissimilarities. Today, I look upon myself and I know myself.
I know I'm a mutant.
And I refuse to deny it to myself any longer. From this day on - things are going to be different. I've got powers - and I'm going to use them. I don't need to hide anything. From anyone. I won't advertise, but I won't deny my gifts, either. Not anymore.
I don't know why I decided to go through with a ritualistic bathing. Showering just made me feel better, though. Cleaner. Maybe it's because I needed to look myself in the face one last time before I stepped off that cliff. I leaned forward on the bathroom countertop and studied my visage once more. From now on things will be different, I vowed one last time.
I padded back to my room in a towel, where my clothes were laid out on the bed. I'd decided to wear all black for tonight's activities - jeans, t-shirt, belt, shoes and socks, and even a ski cap to cover up my hair and face. I donned the hat last, before taking one good long look around my cluttered dorm room.
I chuckled to myself looking at the strewn papers, text books, and dirty clothes. Rooms like this had been home to me for two-and-a-half years. Me and a good number of the rest of my friends. And just like them, I'd had the lived the "normal" college routine- getting up in the morning, going to class, studying, dating, eating, drinking, partying. But tonight - all those things change. Because I'm not really like any of them.Not in the ways that count.
This is it. No turning back, now. I took a couple of deep steadying breaths and finished putting on my "costume".
Then - and only then - did I do it. I reached down, inside myself, and touched my powers. I felt a surge of adrenaline as I consciously activated them. My heart started beating rapidly and I felt my cheeks flush in anticipation. Here I go, I thought.
Quickly, I 'scanned' the other rooms and the area around the house. My fraternity brothers were doing what I'd expected them to be doing at this hour: homework, playing video games, and the like. No one would notice my little jaunt. So I took the proverbial 'leap'.
I thought back to the last time I'd used my powers. The very last time.I'd glowed with a fierce bluish-white light. It was like striking a match to my body; I was surrounded in a warm, luminescent sheen. I looked down at my arms and legs, like an infant discovery his appendages for the first time. A lump rose in my throat as I studied my hands burning before me in a strange, intoxicating energy. The walls before me were bathed in light, and for a moment, I almost forgot that four years had gone by since I'd felt like this. But I couldn't stay in my room for long, shining like a star on a cloudless night. I had to get out into the open.test out my powers. I had to be free.
I couldn't just walk out the front door either. I refused to de-activate my powers now that I'd turned the on again. But getting out the window wasn't going to be any easier. Especially since the my room faced the courtyard. I had to wait for an opportune time - when no one would be looking, of course - then exit the house by flying out of the 2nd story window into the cold night air. Once outside, I arced back up the building to the roof and landed lightly.
A fall breeze ruffled my clothing as I looked over the campus. It looked so different from up here. Serene, peaceful. It was a beautiful view that only served to remind me that I'd been missing out. I chided myself for my own ignorance.and fear. But only for a moment.
The light I emanated was actually a by-product of some sort of protective heat-shield. At least it kept the chilly December wind at bay. I paused, drinking in the night, before I lifted off from the roof. I hovered for a moment - just long enough to be assured that my powers were, in fact, working properly. Then I launched straight up in the air, set off in an easterly direction, and began to fly in earnest.
I don't know what its like for other mutants to fly, but for me it's exhilarating. The wind racing by me, diving and ducking around stationary objects, zipping near the ground, so fast that buildings, cars, and people are blurs. I was no longer confined to two-dimensions; I could loop around, do a barrel roll, flip onto my back, although that gave me a weird sensation. I guess flying is sort of like swimming . . . minus the wetness, and the dense medium. And you can't swim as fast as you can fly . . . I pushed away that thought and focused in on flying. I'd given it up for so long - I didn't want to lose out on even a minute!
I completed a pass around the city, before settling down on the 36th story of the Cathedral of Learning. I was breathing hard by then and my heart was pounding in my ears. And I know I had this goofy grin on my face. I felt like I'd just won a race. "I can't believe I've been missing out on all this," I said aloud. I looked around from my perch - an old building that housed some of the classes for U. of Pitt. "I can't believe this building is so dirty." I stood, wiping off the back of my jeans, slightly annoyed. I couldn't stay mad for long, though. I was free!
I leaned forward tumbling off the building head first. I let gravity take hold of me, moving me faster and faster. I used my powers to push off from building - keeping away from the myriad flagpoles and awnings, but I didn't pull out of the dive until I was a few feet from the ground.
Stretching my arms out in front of me, I raced onward and upward. I pushed myself hard, whistling through the freezing air up into the sky. The city noises quickly faded away. It was amazing to see the whole metropolis sprawled out below me. All the twinkling lights.the buildings, the cars. But I rested for only a second to soak in the view. Then I soared higher and higher until the air grew thin, and I could feel the cold prickling at the edges of my shields.
It was quiet there amongst the cloud cover but I felt alive - like I was coming out of a deep sleep. One I hadn't even known I'd been in. For the first time in almost four years, I felt - I don't know - whole? It was that realization - that sudden burst of sensation - that made me stop, thousands of feet above the ground.
Not using my powers.had it somehow made me feel.incomplete? I began to carefully contemplate my actions over the last five years. The hiding, the denial, keeping people at arm's length. I'd sunk into a rut, throwing myself into my school work and activities.Had I done that so I wouldn't have to think about life? Was I merely going through the motions of living without really doing so? Not truly feeling or experiencing?
I'd kept everyone from getting close.because I didn't want anyone to know how different I was? What was I afraid of? I turned that thought around and over in my mind. I didn't want to admit that I was afraid of anything. As far as I was concerned - fear was a weakness. And so was feeling.
And I silenced the little voice that attempted to negate the falseness of my own thoughts; that little voice that disagreed with me. The one that said I really might be afraid of getting close to anyone.
I took long deep breaths. The air was cold and pure. Breathing deeply here above the clouds, where the air had been essentially untouched by pollutants and people, I felt as if the cobwebs had been cleared away. I attributed my sudden clarity of thought and energy rush to adrenaline and the purity of the air this far above the old run-down steel mill town that was Pittsburgh.
No matter, I thought to myself. Now isn't the time for self-examination and recriminations. Youth wasted on the young? Not me, I thought. . I'm just going to enjoy - live in the moment. I'd held back from using my powers, from being a mutant - being me - for so long. To fly high amongst the clouds like I used to do. To taste the air, and chase the storms, 'walk' in the sun light. The last brought a smile to my lips. Thinking about the summer sun, and how I used to fly really high up into the atmosphere so I could be close to the sun. I'd feel the light wrapped around me, like an old security blanket. It'd been so long since I'd felt the light like that . . .
Well I wasn't going to do it anymore - I wouldn't deny who I am again. "I'm going to be me," I swore. Being a mutant is part of who I am and I won't deny it! "No more!" I shouted, feeling excitement build.
A burst of energy sprang from deep down within me. Instead of pushing it back down, as I've had to do before, I cut loose. Power, light, and heat, sprang from my whole body as I hung there in mid-air. I glowed as bright and as powerful as a star, lighting up the entire city for a briefest of moments. I felt free, for the first time in a long time. Powerful, stronger, and more confident than I'd ever been.
"By the Bright Lady - it's good to be free!"
* * * * *
Across the globe, in various different locations, simultaneously, three separate mutant tracking devices began to hum to life. One was ignored completely as its owner had gone to bed early. However, the proprietors of the other two instruments were quite attentive to their mutant detection facilities and observed the phenomenon with interest. Both sat back as their respective computers began to accumulate information, processing, storing, and analyzing. And both began to make plans surrounding the mutant, their thoughts on times past. And the future.
This story © 2001 Sherman L Taylor, II
Clayton "Tres" Darkmoon © 2001 Sherman L Taylor, II
The X-Men, Professor Charles Xavier, and all constituent
characters © 2001 Marvel Comics Group.
This story is not for sale and is not to be distributed without
permission of the author.
Please electronically mail comments to CommanderInChf@aol.com.
All constructive criticism is appreciated.
Awakening
I sighed while studying my own reflection in the mirror. It was still steamed from my shower, but it served its purpose. The reflected face seemed different somehow. But then again, I am different. I always have been. But now, I acknowledge those dissimilarities. Today, I look upon myself and I know myself.
I know I'm a mutant.
And I refuse to deny it to myself any longer. From this day on - things are going to be different. I've got powers - and I'm going to use them. I don't need to hide anything. From anyone. I won't advertise, but I won't deny my gifts, either. Not anymore.
I don't know why I decided to go through with a ritualistic bathing. Showering just made me feel better, though. Cleaner. Maybe it's because I needed to look myself in the face one last time before I stepped off that cliff. I leaned forward on the bathroom countertop and studied my visage once more. From now on things will be different, I vowed one last time.
I padded back to my room in a towel, where my clothes were laid out on the bed. I'd decided to wear all black for tonight's activities - jeans, t-shirt, belt, shoes and socks, and even a ski cap to cover up my hair and face. I donned the hat last, before taking one good long look around my cluttered dorm room.
I chuckled to myself looking at the strewn papers, text books, and dirty clothes. Rooms like this had been home to me for two-and-a-half years. Me and a good number of the rest of my friends. And just like them, I'd had the lived the "normal" college routine- getting up in the morning, going to class, studying, dating, eating, drinking, partying. But tonight - all those things change. Because I'm not really like any of them.Not in the ways that count.
This is it. No turning back, now. I took a couple of deep steadying breaths and finished putting on my "costume".
Then - and only then - did I do it. I reached down, inside myself, and touched my powers. I felt a surge of adrenaline as I consciously activated them. My heart started beating rapidly and I felt my cheeks flush in anticipation. Here I go, I thought.
Quickly, I 'scanned' the other rooms and the area around the house. My fraternity brothers were doing what I'd expected them to be doing at this hour: homework, playing video games, and the like. No one would notice my little jaunt. So I took the proverbial 'leap'.
I thought back to the last time I'd used my powers. The very last time.I'd glowed with a fierce bluish-white light. It was like striking a match to my body; I was surrounded in a warm, luminescent sheen. I looked down at my arms and legs, like an infant discovery his appendages for the first time. A lump rose in my throat as I studied my hands burning before me in a strange, intoxicating energy. The walls before me were bathed in light, and for a moment, I almost forgot that four years had gone by since I'd felt like this. But I couldn't stay in my room for long, shining like a star on a cloudless night. I had to get out into the open.test out my powers. I had to be free.
I couldn't just walk out the front door either. I refused to de-activate my powers now that I'd turned the on again. But getting out the window wasn't going to be any easier. Especially since the my room faced the courtyard. I had to wait for an opportune time - when no one would be looking, of course - then exit the house by flying out of the 2nd story window into the cold night air. Once outside, I arced back up the building to the roof and landed lightly.
A fall breeze ruffled my clothing as I looked over the campus. It looked so different from up here. Serene, peaceful. It was a beautiful view that only served to remind me that I'd been missing out. I chided myself for my own ignorance.and fear. But only for a moment.
The light I emanated was actually a by-product of some sort of protective heat-shield. At least it kept the chilly December wind at bay. I paused, drinking in the night, before I lifted off from the roof. I hovered for a moment - just long enough to be assured that my powers were, in fact, working properly. Then I launched straight up in the air, set off in an easterly direction, and began to fly in earnest.
I don't know what its like for other mutants to fly, but for me it's exhilarating. The wind racing by me, diving and ducking around stationary objects, zipping near the ground, so fast that buildings, cars, and people are blurs. I was no longer confined to two-dimensions; I could loop around, do a barrel roll, flip onto my back, although that gave me a weird sensation. I guess flying is sort of like swimming . . . minus the wetness, and the dense medium. And you can't swim as fast as you can fly . . . I pushed away that thought and focused in on flying. I'd given it up for so long - I didn't want to lose out on even a minute!
I completed a pass around the city, before settling down on the 36th story of the Cathedral of Learning. I was breathing hard by then and my heart was pounding in my ears. And I know I had this goofy grin on my face. I felt like I'd just won a race. "I can't believe I've been missing out on all this," I said aloud. I looked around from my perch - an old building that housed some of the classes for U. of Pitt. "I can't believe this building is so dirty." I stood, wiping off the back of my jeans, slightly annoyed. I couldn't stay mad for long, though. I was free!
I leaned forward tumbling off the building head first. I let gravity take hold of me, moving me faster and faster. I used my powers to push off from building - keeping away from the myriad flagpoles and awnings, but I didn't pull out of the dive until I was a few feet from the ground.
Stretching my arms out in front of me, I raced onward and upward. I pushed myself hard, whistling through the freezing air up into the sky. The city noises quickly faded away. It was amazing to see the whole metropolis sprawled out below me. All the twinkling lights.the buildings, the cars. But I rested for only a second to soak in the view. Then I soared higher and higher until the air grew thin, and I could feel the cold prickling at the edges of my shields.
It was quiet there amongst the cloud cover but I felt alive - like I was coming out of a deep sleep. One I hadn't even known I'd been in. For the first time in almost four years, I felt - I don't know - whole? It was that realization - that sudden burst of sensation - that made me stop, thousands of feet above the ground.
Not using my powers.had it somehow made me feel.incomplete? I began to carefully contemplate my actions over the last five years. The hiding, the denial, keeping people at arm's length. I'd sunk into a rut, throwing myself into my school work and activities.Had I done that so I wouldn't have to think about life? Was I merely going through the motions of living without really doing so? Not truly feeling or experiencing?
I'd kept everyone from getting close.because I didn't want anyone to know how different I was? What was I afraid of? I turned that thought around and over in my mind. I didn't want to admit that I was afraid of anything. As far as I was concerned - fear was a weakness. And so was feeling.
And I silenced the little voice that attempted to negate the falseness of my own thoughts; that little voice that disagreed with me. The one that said I really might be afraid of getting close to anyone.
I took long deep breaths. The air was cold and pure. Breathing deeply here above the clouds, where the air had been essentially untouched by pollutants and people, I felt as if the cobwebs had been cleared away. I attributed my sudden clarity of thought and energy rush to adrenaline and the purity of the air this far above the old run-down steel mill town that was Pittsburgh.
No matter, I thought to myself. Now isn't the time for self-examination and recriminations. Youth wasted on the young? Not me, I thought. . I'm just going to enjoy - live in the moment. I'd held back from using my powers, from being a mutant - being me - for so long. To fly high amongst the clouds like I used to do. To taste the air, and chase the storms, 'walk' in the sun light. The last brought a smile to my lips. Thinking about the summer sun, and how I used to fly really high up into the atmosphere so I could be close to the sun. I'd feel the light wrapped around me, like an old security blanket. It'd been so long since I'd felt the light like that . . .
Well I wasn't going to do it anymore - I wouldn't deny who I am again. "I'm going to be me," I swore. Being a mutant is part of who I am and I won't deny it! "No more!" I shouted, feeling excitement build.
A burst of energy sprang from deep down within me. Instead of pushing it back down, as I've had to do before, I cut loose. Power, light, and heat, sprang from my whole body as I hung there in mid-air. I glowed as bright and as powerful as a star, lighting up the entire city for a briefest of moments. I felt free, for the first time in a long time. Powerful, stronger, and more confident than I'd ever been.
"By the Bright Lady - it's good to be free!"
* * * * *
Across the globe, in various different locations, simultaneously, three separate mutant tracking devices began to hum to life. One was ignored completely as its owner had gone to bed early. However, the proprietors of the other two instruments were quite attentive to their mutant detection facilities and observed the phenomenon with interest. Both sat back as their respective computers began to accumulate information, processing, storing, and analyzing. And both began to make plans surrounding the mutant, their thoughts on times past. And the future.
This story © 2001 Sherman L Taylor, II
Clayton "Tres" Darkmoon © 2001 Sherman L Taylor, II
The X-Men, Professor Charles Xavier, and all constituent
characters © 2001 Marvel Comics Group.
This story is not for sale and is not to be distributed without
permission of the author.
Please electronically mail comments to CommanderInChf@aol.com.
All constructive criticism is appreciated.