Interlude: Killing Spare Time

                "Two pair."  He put down the cards in his hand and sighed.

                "Straight flush."  His golden-haired companion looked triumphant as he put down a 7, 8, 9, 10, and Jack.

                "Not bad."  The only female of the group smiled gracefully.  "But not good enough.  Royal flush."  She placed down her cards before the astonished twosome.

                "You cheat, my Lady!"  Glorfindel glared at Celebrían.  "This is the third time in a row you have won!"

                "It is merely luck, dear Glorfindel," Celebrían laughed lightly, her voice silver and beautiful.  She leaned against Elrond.  "And your luck seems to have gone from you this day, dear husband."

                Elrond stroked her hair and looked down at his two 9's and two 4's.  "Indeed.  Ah, well.  Congratulations, Celebrían."

                "Why, thank you, Elrond.  Now, pay me."  She held out her hand expectantly, mischief in her gaze.

                "Ai, thank Ilúvatar this is not strip poker!"  Glorfindel sighed as he and Elrond handed Celebrían 50 dollar bills.  "How embarrassed I would be to have to shed my clothes before you, Lady."

                "Strip poker?" Elrond gave Glorfindel a piercing look.  "Have you—"

                "I am no husband," Glorfindel shot back before Elrond could continue.  "I have no wife to come home to!  Tell me why I should not enjoy indulging myself once in a while!"

                "Strip poker …" Elrond looked torn between amusement and disgust, but Celebrían laughed aloud.

                "Well should I have known that you would take such games in stride, Lord Glorfindel!  Are you sure there no blood of Men in you?"

                "How insulting," Glorfindel sniffed, but his laughing gaze gave him away.  It was a good thing, for Elrond seemed none too pleased by the implications.  "Do not look at me so, Elrond!  The blood of Men suits you well, but it would not suit me."

                "I should say not," Elrond crossed his arms and feigned being disgruntled.  Celebrían kissed his cheek and the façade crumbled.

                "Another round?" inquired she.

                Glorfindel shot Celebrían a brief glare and began to gather the cards.  "This time it shall be I who shuffles the cards, my Lady, to assure that you do not do something … uncouth."

                But Elrond reached out and snatched the gathered deck from Glorfindel's hand.  "Nay, I shall shuffle," he replied calmly.  "I do not trust you to not turn the deck in your favor."

                Celebrían and Glorfindel glanced at each other and came to silent agreement:  Elrond will not cheat.  "Very well," they said in near unison.

                There was a short silence while Elrond shuffled the deck with expert speed and began to deal the cards.  "How fares Olórin?" he asked after a moment, glancing up at Glorfindel.

                Glorfindel glared at Elrond, his bright eyes narrowing.  "I have not killed him yet, if that is what you mean," he said sharply.

                "I said no such thing," Elrond replied with cool disinterest, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.  "I merely asked how he fared.  Since it was you who last saw him, I asked the question of you."

                Glorfindel 'harrumphed' and picked up his cards just as Celebrían did the same; if she was amused or even listening to the conversation, she gave no sign.  "He is fine, cheerful as he ever has been, and as aggravating as ever!"

                "Glorfindel, dear, you are grinding your teeth."  Celebrian's voice was mild as she placed two cards in the discard pile and picked up two more.

                Glorfindel stopped grinding his teeth and took a deep, calming breath.  "He said he was leaving to go see a show.  Broadway or some such."  Suddenly he twitched.  "With someone.  Whose voice was very young and very feminine."

                Elrond sighed and discarded three cards.  "The more things change …"

                "The more things stay the same," Glorfindel finished for him, also discarding two cards.  "But while we are discussing not-so-young hoodlums, have you heard from your sons, or from Thranduilion?  They had promised to call, had they not?"

                Elrond shook his head silently, studying his cards and tapping one finger on the table.  "They had ... I am sure they will report their progress in good time."

~~Meanwhile~~

                "Have you ever had a flaming Dr. Pepper?" grinned Elrohir, signaling the bartender.

                "I don't think I can take many more rounds, Elrohir," groaned Allen, rubbing his forehead.  "I'll faint."

                "You must try this one, though!"  Elladan enthused.  "A shot of Bacardi 151, please," he asked the bartender.

                Legolas shook his head slowly; he looked as if he had been long resigned to the situation.  "Will they let you have that drink here?"

                "Do you see him objecting?" Elrohir asked a bit more sharply than he meant to, gesturing to the bartender and downing a shot of Skyy.  "And I believe I am now two shots ahead of you, Thranduilion!"

                Legolas' eyes flashed.  "Ah, you still think you can drink me into the ground, half-Man?"  he asked, a smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth.  "Then you may try."  He ordered two shots of liquor.

                Meanwhile, Elladan had lit the shot of Bacardi 151 on fire and was balancing it atop a glass of beer.  "When I knock the shot into the glass, you must chug it right away," Elladan informed Allen.  "It burns all the way down your throat.  It is a heady feeling!"

                Allen just groaned again.

~~Elrond's Penthouse~~

                "The bet was 50 dollars once again?"  Glorfindel asked with a sigh.

                "You sound none too happy about it," Celebrían observed slyly.

                "Ai, indeed, my Lady," Glorfindel put down his cards.  "A run of horrible luck.  One pair."

                "Nothing to be ashamed of," Celebrían replied. "Full House."  She put down her cards.

                There was a moment of silence while the two who had put down their cards gazed at Elrond before the half-Elf looked up at them.  "Two pair," he said – and placed down two pairs.  Of Aces.

                Celebrian and Glorfindel stared at the cards.  Then they looked at each other and reached another silent agreement.  "You cheated!"  They accused in unison.

                Elrond only laughed in reply.

*   *   *

                "Mm, good round of poker today," Elrond observed softly as he and Celebrían finally retreated to their bed.

                "Yes, indeed," smiled Celebrían.  "Tell me, though, meleth – did you cheat on that last round?"

                "How could you even think it, dear Celebrían?" Elrond asked with mock indignation, sliding under the covers and wrapping his arms around his wife from behind.  She made an ingratiated sound and he smiled.  "I love you."

                "And I, you," Celebrían murmured.  But just as she flipped the nightstand light off, she laughed aloud.  "I would not mind losing to you if the game was strip poker."

                "Celebrían!"

                "A joke, my love."

                "No … I think such a game – private, of course – would be quite enjoyable."

                Celebrían's youthful giggle was reward enough for the very suggestion.

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!

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Author's Note:  Please, oh please, don't kill me!  Consider this a short Unblinded AU joke for April Fools Day.  Did I get you?  *snicker*

Thank you so much to all who have been reading this story!  I will have up a real chapter up – and replies to your reviews – within a week.  I just had to write something silly for April 1st, though …

Thank you again!

~~Vikki