Scene 1:
(shows Twitch hot-wiring a car and Zero is in the seat next to him. The
both of them get killed.)
Scene 2: Dumbeldore: "Harry, may I have a word with you, please?" Harry: "Sure thing, Professor Dumbeldore." (both of them walk to Dumbeldore's office) Dumbeldore: "Harry, I've been keeping a close watch on you and I feel as though you need some more character. I'm sending you to Camp Green Lake and I." Harry: "But Professor! That's where they send all the bad boys who've messed up their life completely! I don't wanna go there!" Dumbeldore: "I've considered that option of you not wanting to go there." Harry: "Professor, if I may ask, why am I being sent there?" Dumbeldore: "I'm afraid I can't give you a definite answer on that, Harry because I fear you wouldn't like the reason that's stated." Harry: "Ok, but will you at least tell me when I get back?" Dumbeldore: "Yes Harry. To that I will."
Scene 3: (Harry is getting out of the bus) Harry: "Thank you sir, for the lift." (bus driver looks at him and grunts)
Scene 4: (Harry is in Mr. Sir's office) Mr. Sir: "I'm Mr. Sir. So, you're the Harry Potter from the books?" Harry: "They have books about me here?" Mr. Sir: "The heck they don't. They've got a five book series on you out. There are supposed to be 7 books in the whole series. One for each year that you're there at Hogwarts. Have a seat son. Dumbeldore wishes for me to not tell you what you've done to get yourself here. He's gonna tell you all that once your 18 months are up. Is that correct?" (Harry nods his head) Mr. Sir: "This isn't a Girl Scout Camp. You are to be digging a hole everyday you are here. They should be 5 feet wide and 5 feet in diameter. You're shovel is you're measuring stick. You're not to be using magic, so could I have your wand, please?" (Harry hands him his wand) Mr. Sir: "Thank you. Here, put this on." (tosses him an orange jumpsuit) (Harry puts it on) Mr. Sir: "Do you have any questions?"
Harry: "When do I get my wand back?"
Mr. Sir: "When you leave."
(Mr. Pandanski walks in) Mr. Sir: "Ah, Pandanski. This is Harry. I want you to show him where everything is." Pendanski: "Yes, Mr. Sir. Follow me, Harry." (the both of them walk out of the room) Pandanski: "Are you really Harry Potter? You know, the ones from the book series?" Harry: "Yep, that's me alright." Pandanski: "I really do like those books. Ok, now moving on to where everything is. That's the wreck room, that's the dining area, those are the showers, and over there is the Warden's house. There is only 1 rule here at Camp Green Lake. Do not upset the Warden." Harry: "Is Mr. Sir the warden or is that somebody else?" Pendanski: "Well, seeing that the Warden is a girl, Mr. Sir couldn't possibly be the warden. Here is where you'll be staying. D-Tent."
Scene 5: (Pandanski and Harry walk into the tent) Pandanski: "Boys, I want you to meet Harry." Armpit: "Yo, what's up?" Harry: "Nothing much." Squid: "You the dude from the books?" Harry: "Yes." Zig Zag: "Cool." Pandanski: "That's Alan, Ricky, Theodore, Rex, and Jose." X-ray: "Actually mom, that's Squid, Zig Zag, Armpit, Magnet, and I'm X- ray." (when he says each of their names, he points to them indicating which one they are) Pandanski: "They each have their little nicknames, but I like to call them by the names that their parents gave them so that society will recognize them better. I think you should know about what happened on Hector and Brian, so would somebody fill him in on that? Don't forget to mention something on Stanley." (Pandanski walks out of the room) X-ray: "Hector was Zero, Brian was Twitch, and Stanley was Caveman." Magnet: "Caveman had gotten released from here. Twitch hot-wired a car and Zero was with him. They got into an accident and got killed." Harry: "Oh, that's terrible." Zig Zag: "Yeah I guess it is. If you look at it that way." Squid: "You sleep here, Harry." Harry: "Ok, thanks.Squid." (Squid looks at him and grunts) Harry: (mumbles) "Man, that's like the second time somebody has grunted at me today."
Scene 6: (alarm sounds for boys to get up) (boys get shovels) Mr. Sir: "Harry, this is where you dig." Harry: "Yes, Mr. Sir." (later in the day, Pandanski delivers food & gives the boys more water) (X-ray is first in line & Harry is last in line) (X-ray & Squid go up to Harry) X-ray: "Hey, Harry." Harry: "Yes?" (Squid grabs him & X-ray takes Harry's glasses) (the boys toss his glass around) (Harry tries to look for them, but falls into a hole) (all the other boys laugh) Magnet: "Here you go, Harry." Harry: (mumbles) "Thanks."
Scene 7: (Harry walks into Wreck Room) Pandanski: "Ah, Harry. Come over and join us. How was your first day?" Harry: "Well, it hurt a lot." Armpit: "But it would be a heck of a lot easier using magic." (All of the boys laugh except for Harry) Pandanski: "Now, now Theodore. Just because Harry's a little bit different from the rest of us." Squid: "You can say that again." (all of the boys laugh except for Harry) Pandanski: "As I was saying before. Harry's different and we shouldn't go around judging people for who they are or what they do." Zig Zag: "You know, Mom's right." Armpit: "You're not turning on us now, are you Zig?" Zig Zag: "No." Armpit: "I was hoping you wouldn't be."
Scene 8: (boys are digging holes & X-ray goes up to Harry's hole) X-ray: "Harry, I just wanted to let you know that if you find anything; give it to me." Harry: "Why?" X-ray: "Because I've been here the longest & I've only had 1 day off. That was when Caveman was here & that was over a year & a half ago." Harry: "Fine, whatever you say." X-ray: "Good." (X-ray goes back to his hole) Zig Zag: "Don't you listen to him, Harry." Magnet: "Yeah, he always says that when someone new comes in." Zig Zag: "Don't pay any attention to him."
Scene 9: (boys are digging holes) (water truck comes) (boys get in line to get water) (Zig Zag and Squid are walking back to their holes) Zig Zag: "I think there's something wrong with Mom." Squid: "Yeah, I know what you mean." Magnet: (points down to Pandanski's shoes) "I think your shoe lace is untied, Mom." Pandanski: "Oh, it is I see." (bends down to tie shoe lace and farts) (boys start laughing) Zig Zag: "So, that was what's wrong with you." Pandanski: "Yeah, there was something wrong with me. My shoe lace wasn't untied."
Scene 10: (Armpit goes through Harry's crate and pulls out his underwear) Armpit: "Hey look you guys!" (puts on Harry's underwear) "I've got thunderpants on!" (everybody to laugh, but Harry) Harry: "Give me those!" (pulls off underwear from Armpit's head) Squid: "That should be your nickname, Harry. Thunderpants!"
(everybody laughs except Harry)
Scene 11: (boys are in Wreck Room) Armpit: "Man, why do we have to listen to this crap every single day?" Zig Zag: "The Backstreet Boys really need to get on with their bad lives." Squid: "Wish we could get rid of 'em for good." Armpit: "Hey, Harry! Do you think you could get the Backstreet Boys down here using your magic or do you need your wand?" Harry: "Yeah, I can get 'em down here without using my wand, but why do we need them down here for?" Magnet: "So we don't have to here about them anymore. Go ahead, get 'em down here." Harry: "Alright, here goes nothing. Backstreet Boys, appeariamento!" (suddenly there's a bright light and BSB appears) (Pandanski walks in) Pandanski: "Whoa! Harry, did you just call them down here?" Harry: "Yes." (Pandanski talks into walkie-talkie) Pandanski: "Mr. Sir, you might wanna come down here."
Scene 12: (Mr. Sir walks into Wreck Room) Mr. Sir: "What is it, Pandan.oh my. (looks at BSB) I've been waiting practically my whole entire life for this." Squid: "Harry was about to blast 'em off for good before Mom walked in." Mr. Sir: "Was he really? Nice job, Harry. I've always wanted to get rid of 'em since I first heard 'em on the radio. Well, go ahead Harry, blast 'em off." X-ray: "Wait, before you do, Harry. I just wanted to say something. Brian, ever since I first laid eyes on you, I fell in love with you." Brian: "I know I'm married and everything, but I think I'm starting to fall in love with you, too." (Brian and X-ray start to kiss each other) Armpit: "Hey! Stop that! Nobody really wants to see two guys going at each other like that. Harry, just blast 'em off now." Harry: "Backstreet Boys, blastiofflyao!" (Warden walks in) Warden: "What just happened here?" Everybody: "Nothing." Warden: "Excuse me?" Pandanski: "Harry just blasted off the Backstreet Boys." Warden: "You mean to tell me that I just missed Howie? Well the nerve of all you people. You could've at least had the decency to call me and tell me that he was here." Pandanski: "Sorry, we didn't know." Warden: "Well, it happened, so I'm not gonna grieve over it."
Scene 13: (Dumbeldore fly's outside Wreck Room in flying car) Pandanski: "What the.?" Mr. Sir: "Oh yeah. I'm pretty sure that the girl scouts are definitely selling cookies this time." Warden: "Who could that be?" (Warden walks outside) (everybody follows her) Warden: "Who are you?" Dumbeldore: "I'm Professor Dumbeldore. I'm here to pick up Harry." Warden: "Well, he's not supposed be leaving for another 6 months." Dumbeldore: "I realize that, but we feel it's time for him to come back to Hogwarts." Warden: "Oh, I see. Harry, get your things. It's time for you to leave." Harry: "Before I go and get my things, what was it that I did to get myself here?" Dumbeldore: "We just wanted you to blast off the Backstreet Boys, but I must say that their one song was one of my favorites. What was it called? I think it was "I Want a 3way." (everyone laughs) Zig Zag: "It's actually "I Want It That Way," Professor." Professor: "Oh, yes. That's right. "I Want It That Way. Now, Harry, go get your stuff." Harry: "Yes, Professor Dumbeldore." (Harry gets stuff and comes back out with his trunk) Dumbeldore: "Are you ready?" Harry: "Yes, sir." Dumbeldore: "Ok then. Put your stuff in the trunk and get in the car." (Dumbeldore gets in car) (Harry puts trunk in car and gets in) (window rolls down) Harry: "I'll miss you guys." Armpit: "Yeah, I guess we'll miss you, too." Squid: "Wish you could stay and do some magic on our holes so we don't have to dig anymore." (Pandanski puts hand on Squid's shoulder and Squid turns head) Pandanski: "Nice try, Alan." Squid: "Man, it's Squid." Warden: "Harry, here's your wand back." Harry: "Thank you." X-ray: "You be good now, Harry or you might end up right back here, but you'll always have a place here with D-Tent." Harry: "Thanks, X-ray." X-ray: "See you later.Magic Stick." (Dumbeldore starts car and rolls up window) (car takes off and everybody is waving at each other)
Scene 2: Dumbeldore: "Harry, may I have a word with you, please?" Harry: "Sure thing, Professor Dumbeldore." (both of them walk to Dumbeldore's office) Dumbeldore: "Harry, I've been keeping a close watch on you and I feel as though you need some more character. I'm sending you to Camp Green Lake and I." Harry: "But Professor! That's where they send all the bad boys who've messed up their life completely! I don't wanna go there!" Dumbeldore: "I've considered that option of you not wanting to go there." Harry: "Professor, if I may ask, why am I being sent there?" Dumbeldore: "I'm afraid I can't give you a definite answer on that, Harry because I fear you wouldn't like the reason that's stated." Harry: "Ok, but will you at least tell me when I get back?" Dumbeldore: "Yes Harry. To that I will."
Scene 3: (Harry is getting out of the bus) Harry: "Thank you sir, for the lift." (bus driver looks at him and grunts)
Scene 4: (Harry is in Mr. Sir's office) Mr. Sir: "I'm Mr. Sir. So, you're the Harry Potter from the books?" Harry: "They have books about me here?" Mr. Sir: "The heck they don't. They've got a five book series on you out. There are supposed to be 7 books in the whole series. One for each year that you're there at Hogwarts. Have a seat son. Dumbeldore wishes for me to not tell you what you've done to get yourself here. He's gonna tell you all that once your 18 months are up. Is that correct?" (Harry nods his head) Mr. Sir: "This isn't a Girl Scout Camp. You are to be digging a hole everyday you are here. They should be 5 feet wide and 5 feet in diameter. You're shovel is you're measuring stick. You're not to be using magic, so could I have your wand, please?" (Harry hands him his wand) Mr. Sir: "Thank you. Here, put this on." (tosses him an orange jumpsuit) (Harry puts it on) Mr. Sir: "Do you have any questions?"
Harry: "When do I get my wand back?"
Mr. Sir: "When you leave."
(Mr. Pandanski walks in) Mr. Sir: "Ah, Pandanski. This is Harry. I want you to show him where everything is." Pendanski: "Yes, Mr. Sir. Follow me, Harry." (the both of them walk out of the room) Pandanski: "Are you really Harry Potter? You know, the ones from the book series?" Harry: "Yep, that's me alright." Pandanski: "I really do like those books. Ok, now moving on to where everything is. That's the wreck room, that's the dining area, those are the showers, and over there is the Warden's house. There is only 1 rule here at Camp Green Lake. Do not upset the Warden." Harry: "Is Mr. Sir the warden or is that somebody else?" Pendanski: "Well, seeing that the Warden is a girl, Mr. Sir couldn't possibly be the warden. Here is where you'll be staying. D-Tent."
Scene 5: (Pandanski and Harry walk into the tent) Pandanski: "Boys, I want you to meet Harry." Armpit: "Yo, what's up?" Harry: "Nothing much." Squid: "You the dude from the books?" Harry: "Yes." Zig Zag: "Cool." Pandanski: "That's Alan, Ricky, Theodore, Rex, and Jose." X-ray: "Actually mom, that's Squid, Zig Zag, Armpit, Magnet, and I'm X- ray." (when he says each of their names, he points to them indicating which one they are) Pandanski: "They each have their little nicknames, but I like to call them by the names that their parents gave them so that society will recognize them better. I think you should know about what happened on Hector and Brian, so would somebody fill him in on that? Don't forget to mention something on Stanley." (Pandanski walks out of the room) X-ray: "Hector was Zero, Brian was Twitch, and Stanley was Caveman." Magnet: "Caveman had gotten released from here. Twitch hot-wired a car and Zero was with him. They got into an accident and got killed." Harry: "Oh, that's terrible." Zig Zag: "Yeah I guess it is. If you look at it that way." Squid: "You sleep here, Harry." Harry: "Ok, thanks.Squid." (Squid looks at him and grunts) Harry: (mumbles) "Man, that's like the second time somebody has grunted at me today."
Scene 6: (alarm sounds for boys to get up) (boys get shovels) Mr. Sir: "Harry, this is where you dig." Harry: "Yes, Mr. Sir." (later in the day, Pandanski delivers food & gives the boys more water) (X-ray is first in line & Harry is last in line) (X-ray & Squid go up to Harry) X-ray: "Hey, Harry." Harry: "Yes?" (Squid grabs him & X-ray takes Harry's glasses) (the boys toss his glass around) (Harry tries to look for them, but falls into a hole) (all the other boys laugh) Magnet: "Here you go, Harry." Harry: (mumbles) "Thanks."
Scene 7: (Harry walks into Wreck Room) Pandanski: "Ah, Harry. Come over and join us. How was your first day?" Harry: "Well, it hurt a lot." Armpit: "But it would be a heck of a lot easier using magic." (All of the boys laugh except for Harry) Pandanski: "Now, now Theodore. Just because Harry's a little bit different from the rest of us." Squid: "You can say that again." (all of the boys laugh except for Harry) Pandanski: "As I was saying before. Harry's different and we shouldn't go around judging people for who they are or what they do." Zig Zag: "You know, Mom's right." Armpit: "You're not turning on us now, are you Zig?" Zig Zag: "No." Armpit: "I was hoping you wouldn't be."
Scene 8: (boys are digging holes & X-ray goes up to Harry's hole) X-ray: "Harry, I just wanted to let you know that if you find anything; give it to me." Harry: "Why?" X-ray: "Because I've been here the longest & I've only had 1 day off. That was when Caveman was here & that was over a year & a half ago." Harry: "Fine, whatever you say." X-ray: "Good." (X-ray goes back to his hole) Zig Zag: "Don't you listen to him, Harry." Magnet: "Yeah, he always says that when someone new comes in." Zig Zag: "Don't pay any attention to him."
Scene 9: (boys are digging holes) (water truck comes) (boys get in line to get water) (Zig Zag and Squid are walking back to their holes) Zig Zag: "I think there's something wrong with Mom." Squid: "Yeah, I know what you mean." Magnet: (points down to Pandanski's shoes) "I think your shoe lace is untied, Mom." Pandanski: "Oh, it is I see." (bends down to tie shoe lace and farts) (boys start laughing) Zig Zag: "So, that was what's wrong with you." Pandanski: "Yeah, there was something wrong with me. My shoe lace wasn't untied."
Scene 10: (Armpit goes through Harry's crate and pulls out his underwear) Armpit: "Hey look you guys!" (puts on Harry's underwear) "I've got thunderpants on!" (everybody to laugh, but Harry) Harry: "Give me those!" (pulls off underwear from Armpit's head) Squid: "That should be your nickname, Harry. Thunderpants!"
(everybody laughs except Harry)
Scene 11: (boys are in Wreck Room) Armpit: "Man, why do we have to listen to this crap every single day?" Zig Zag: "The Backstreet Boys really need to get on with their bad lives." Squid: "Wish we could get rid of 'em for good." Armpit: "Hey, Harry! Do you think you could get the Backstreet Boys down here using your magic or do you need your wand?" Harry: "Yeah, I can get 'em down here without using my wand, but why do we need them down here for?" Magnet: "So we don't have to here about them anymore. Go ahead, get 'em down here." Harry: "Alright, here goes nothing. Backstreet Boys, appeariamento!" (suddenly there's a bright light and BSB appears) (Pandanski walks in) Pandanski: "Whoa! Harry, did you just call them down here?" Harry: "Yes." (Pandanski talks into walkie-talkie) Pandanski: "Mr. Sir, you might wanna come down here."
Scene 12: (Mr. Sir walks into Wreck Room) Mr. Sir: "What is it, Pandan.oh my. (looks at BSB) I've been waiting practically my whole entire life for this." Squid: "Harry was about to blast 'em off for good before Mom walked in." Mr. Sir: "Was he really? Nice job, Harry. I've always wanted to get rid of 'em since I first heard 'em on the radio. Well, go ahead Harry, blast 'em off." X-ray: "Wait, before you do, Harry. I just wanted to say something. Brian, ever since I first laid eyes on you, I fell in love with you." Brian: "I know I'm married and everything, but I think I'm starting to fall in love with you, too." (Brian and X-ray start to kiss each other) Armpit: "Hey! Stop that! Nobody really wants to see two guys going at each other like that. Harry, just blast 'em off now." Harry: "Backstreet Boys, blastiofflyao!" (Warden walks in) Warden: "What just happened here?" Everybody: "Nothing." Warden: "Excuse me?" Pandanski: "Harry just blasted off the Backstreet Boys." Warden: "You mean to tell me that I just missed Howie? Well the nerve of all you people. You could've at least had the decency to call me and tell me that he was here." Pandanski: "Sorry, we didn't know." Warden: "Well, it happened, so I'm not gonna grieve over it."
Scene 13: (Dumbeldore fly's outside Wreck Room in flying car) Pandanski: "What the.?" Mr. Sir: "Oh yeah. I'm pretty sure that the girl scouts are definitely selling cookies this time." Warden: "Who could that be?" (Warden walks outside) (everybody follows her) Warden: "Who are you?" Dumbeldore: "I'm Professor Dumbeldore. I'm here to pick up Harry." Warden: "Well, he's not supposed be leaving for another 6 months." Dumbeldore: "I realize that, but we feel it's time for him to come back to Hogwarts." Warden: "Oh, I see. Harry, get your things. It's time for you to leave." Harry: "Before I go and get my things, what was it that I did to get myself here?" Dumbeldore: "We just wanted you to blast off the Backstreet Boys, but I must say that their one song was one of my favorites. What was it called? I think it was "I Want a 3way." (everyone laughs) Zig Zag: "It's actually "I Want It That Way," Professor." Professor: "Oh, yes. That's right. "I Want It That Way. Now, Harry, go get your stuff." Harry: "Yes, Professor Dumbeldore." (Harry gets stuff and comes back out with his trunk) Dumbeldore: "Are you ready?" Harry: "Yes, sir." Dumbeldore: "Ok then. Put your stuff in the trunk and get in the car." (Dumbeldore gets in car) (Harry puts trunk in car and gets in) (window rolls down) Harry: "I'll miss you guys." Armpit: "Yeah, I guess we'll miss you, too." Squid: "Wish you could stay and do some magic on our holes so we don't have to dig anymore." (Pandanski puts hand on Squid's shoulder and Squid turns head) Pandanski: "Nice try, Alan." Squid: "Man, it's Squid." Warden: "Harry, here's your wand back." Harry: "Thank you." X-ray: "You be good now, Harry or you might end up right back here, but you'll always have a place here with D-Tent." Harry: "Thanks, X-ray." X-ray: "See you later.Magic Stick." (Dumbeldore starts car and rolls up window) (car takes off and everybody is waving at each other)