Chapter 7
Microscope
"People want the illusion of choice without having to make a decision at
all."
* * * * *
"Grub's gettin' low," Wolverine grumbled from the refrigerator. I frowned slightly - firstly because I was hungry, and secondly because I didn't want to deal with a ravenous Wolverine. The sated one was already.interesting enough. "Thought you and 'Ro went to Salem Center yesterday." This last was directed at Warren, accompanied by a reproving stare.
Angel shrugged under that baleful look and shuffled his wings slightly. "We did - but not to food shop."
"Perhaps this afternoon, then" suggested Peter, lounging against the counter, also watching the two X-Men.
Wolverine grumbled something about making do, and resigned to another part of the kitchen where he had been making up several sandwiches. A chime from the microwave announced the completion of the rest of his meal - a couple of slices of pizza with the works. Arms loaded with goodies, Wolverine departed the kitchen, without a second glance.
Warren took up Wolverine's place at the refrigerator door, hunting around for something.
"Anything I can get for you Peter? Tres?" Warren asked politely.
"Is there any turkey left?" I volunteered.
"Yep. Ham and roast beef, too. We're out of bacon though - and the cheddar's seen better days," Warren said. He straightened bringing with him the selected meats. I stepped in to help, pulling what remained of several loaves of bread from a cupboard, while Peter took his turn rummaging through the refrigerator.
We worked in silence for a few minutes, save for the sound of sandwich making and Peter pulling things out of the refrigerator, shaking his head and putting something back only to start the whole process over. He finally decided on the cold leftovers of a pizza and some pot roast, a bowl of tortilla chips and extra hot salsa, with a diet cola to wash it all down. Gathering everything in his hands, he followed Warren and I out into the dining room, where Wolverine, Kitty and Kurt were sitting near the head of the table. After the breakfast fiasco, I took a seat away from where Professor Xavier usually sat. The three of us plunked ourselves down and began to dig in.
It was just after noon, and I think I was all out of conversation for the day. I was actually looking forward to going back to my semi-private alcove in the library where I could study in peace. I snorted softly - _my alcove_.
_Would it be so bad staying here?_ I looked around at the spacious dining room then thought about the rest of the mansion's resources. _I'd get to work with my powers - and be around other mutants, right?_ _I wouldn't have to hide my peculiarities - at least not while I'm here._ I guess if you have to keep a secret for nearly four years, even hanging out with outlaws starts to sound pretty good.
Chewing thoughtfully, I watched the others laughing and talking. Peter was trying to entice Kitty with some of his nachos. Kurt looked on bemusedly, his bright yellow eyes sparkling with mirth. Warren was quiet, seemingly enjoying a few moments of relaxation, but I could tell his mind was working - at what I did not know. Wolverine was seated near the head of the table, tearing through his food with enthusiasm - even though he'd been complaining about the lack of variety only a moment before. _These were the dreaded X-Men._ _If the world only knew._
Just then, Ororo and Professor Xavier came in, taking up their customary places at one end of the table. I chose that moment to look the other way, forcing myself to think about schoolwork and problem sets instead of the difficult choice I'd have to make regarding the school. The familiar knot of anxiety began to fill my stomach and I looked numbly at the half-eaten turkey sandwich in my hands. My appetite gone, I forced myself to eat the rest, not tasting a single bite. I realized then, how utterly exhausted I was from everything that had happened this morning. _Hell - in the last few days._ What I really wanted was some coffee.
I excused myself quickly from the table with a half-mumbled excuse and went off to make a pot of coffee, ignoring several pairs of eyes following me. In the relative safety and privacy of the kitchen, I felt some of the tension melting away; at least I could get away from Xavier for a few moments to think without wondering if he were eavesdropping. Then I realized how stupid and naïve that was; like a few feet were going to stop him from hearing my thoughts. I puttered around the kitchen searching for the coffee I knew Warren had this morning.
I'd been raised strictly around Folger's, but Warren had introduced me to a tastier blend brought in from somewhere exotic. I don't suppose Warren would mind, I thought, pulling the grounds from the freezer where they were stored.Soon the coffee was perking away, the unfamiliar and pungent smell filling the large room. I breathed deeply, closing my eyes to enjoy the aroma. I leaned back against the counter, waiting patiently for the caffeinated brew to finish.
"I thought I smelled." My eyes snapped open. Warren sniffed the air appreciatively, padding into the kitchen. "Worn out, Tres?" Dressed in a pair of well-worn jeans, white socks, and an old gray sweatshirt that said 'Xavier's', Warren hardly looked the part of an international superhero.
"Only a little. You don't mind, do you?" I asked, feeling a minor pang of guilt over the borrowed coffee.
"Not at all." He carried his dishes to the sink. "I wasn't that hungry after all, and I've got some paper work to look over," he explained. "Better to grab a quick bite and get some work done early."
"Okay." I sort of half-shrugged. "Me too."
"Well I'm not trading with you - so don't even think about asking," he said.
Which was just what I was thinking. "Damn! There goes Plan A! Oh well." Warren grinned while packing his lunch dishes into the dishwasher. I sighed. "Guess I better get back to the library. I can't waste the whole day."
"That's a good idea," he said as if considering. "I usually do my work in one of the studies. Sometimes I use the library. In fact, I may need to get some of my files out of the there. And use one of the computers. I'll be in there later on - just let me know if I'm bothering you."
I blinked in surprise. "Uh.It's not my library. I haven't laid any claim to it."
"What? You haven't? Didn't you read the fine print of the X-Men contract? You have to mark your territory early on, before all the good spots are taken!"
I made a little face while pouring myself a cup of coffee. "I shredded that particular contract. Didn't like the terms."
Warren turned a little more serious. "Hmmm, well there's always the opportunity to renegotiate terms," he said. "If you need legal counsel, I could recommend a few lawyers I keep on retainer."
I smiled to myself before taking a sip. Strong. "I'll keep that in mind," I replied, not sure if Warren were joking or not.
_Paper work, lawyers.He's gotta be kidding._ But then I didn't really know what Warren did outside the X-Men. I mean what was it that they did between being chased by torch-wielding mobs and blowing things up. _Was it just like today, maybe?_ _Or did they have jobs?_ It suddenly occurred to me how little I really knew about the people I was hanging around. Before I wouldn't have cared, but now was different. _I might be spending more time with them._
I followed Warren out of the kitchen, lost in thought while he prattled on. He'd settled back into lecture mode, so it was easy to keep him going with a few strategically placed "Uh-huh's" and "I don't know what that means". He led us through the dining room into the foyer, with me only half- listening. At least I'd have a week at the school to sort things out. Professor Xavier had made the offer and I'd agreed to return, but maybe I didn't want to come back. At least the next five days gave me the time to weigh all my options and get through finals. Mutant or not - I still had to obey the laws of supply and demand of the job market - which was currently requiring a high grade point average for providing an interview.
Back to the books, I thought.
* * * * *
I decided to take an after-dinner break. Get some fresh air. The Professor had told me to get more accustomed to using my powers - and there was no time like the present. Plus I was getting tired of staring at a computer screen and the same old textbooks. _Maybe I could explore the grounds a little_.I smiled to myself, glad to be doing something other than lessons for a few minutes.
I hadn't dressed warmly - sweats and a light long-sleeved shirt; I'd rely on my powers to keep me warm. I simply wandered down from my room and out the front door. No one was about, and I didn't think I needed to tell anyone I was going out. _Did I?_ I shrugged, standing on the front steps looking out over the grounds.
Virgin white snow covered the estate, and the air was clean and crisp. The sun had set already - we were nearing the Winter Solstice - but it wasn't absolutely dark. It was eerily silent. A wan, tired moon resided over my nocturnal activities; it was my only companion. I lifted off the ground, hovering slightly, then rocketing skyward.
I was free and alone - breathing the cold night air, flying fast and hard. It was such a relief to be away from the books and school and everything that was my old life. Everything that meant hiding and lying and holding back.
I twisted and spiraled, flipping over on my back, then righted myself. I felt the wind around the edges of my body-field, but not the cold. Before I knew it, I was quite high up, nearly above the cloud cover. I paused for a moment, studying the whole of the Xavier lands sprawled beneath me. Then I leveled off, zipping towards one end of the enclosed land.
Xavier had a nice place. It was even more impressive from the outside. Like Warren said, there really was a huge lake out back - with a boathouse and everything. I stopped over the center of it, then let myself down gently on the dock. The pond looked frozen, but I imagined that there were only a few inches of ice. I'd probably fall through if I walked out onto it. I had no desire to be cold and wet, but gazed solemnly at the water for a moment longer before flying off.
There were a lot of trees on the grounds, leafless, with some of the higher branches twinkling with snow in the moonlight. I drifted low, and began to zoom around the tree trunks, then over and under the low-hanging limbs. _And Xavier said I needed to work on my airborne agility._ I'm pretty nimble, I thought defensively. _If he could see me now._
Unfortunately, that particular train of thought was ultimately hitched to this afternoon's briefing. _Now what else did he say?_ That I should also work on my ability to generate light. And simultaneous 'scanning' and countering with my power. Bio-molecular-nuclear transfiguration. I considered that last one._Does that mean he wants me to become that - that creature again?_ I blanched slightly, thinking about my previous escapade. _Maybe he wants to see if I could make the change consciously._ _If I could will it so.Who knows?_ _Maybe I could._
Holding myself aloft I spread my fingers in front of my face. All right, I thought.Change! _Do something_ I ordered myself, looking for the slightest shift in color or appearance. Nothing happened. I looked at both sides of my hand, and continued to think of ways to get myself to transform. After five minutes of futile attempts, I was ready to call it quits and settle back for a few minutes of leisurely flying.
"I trust I am not interrupting?"
I whirled around. "Uh - hello Ororo. No - not at all," I smiled. "Just taking a break from my studies." She hovered close, the winds sustaining her flight ruffling her hair slightly. She was wearing a shortcropped sleeveless top and a pair of loose-fitting black pants. _I guess she opted to rely on powers for heat, too._ She was barefoot, and her outfit exposed the barest expanse of a firm, well-toned midriff.
"You fly well," she said after a moment.
"Thank you, Ororo." Another silence while I searched for something to say. "I like flying at night. Complete solitude. Just you and the stars and the moon." Suddenly nostalgic, the last of my words trailed off to barely a whisper.
She nodded. "I, too, sometimes seek refuge in the heavens. In solitude, there can be solace."
_Solace?_ I gave her a curious look, but opted not to take the bait. "When I first got my powers, I used to sneak out at night and fly around. I always had to be careful. I always worried someone would see me. It's kinda hard to be discrete if you're glowing. Luckily, I never got caught. Or lost."
"We are all, at times, thankful for the small favors bestowed upon us when fortune smiles," Ororo agreed.
"I always knew I was different," I said distantly. "I used to keep my head shaved, so people wouldn't see my hair, but there was nothing my parents could do to hide my eyes. Although green isn't nearly so strange, I suppose. When I became a mutant -." What a lame way to put that, I thought. "- I just figured that was just one more difference I had."
"A lonely time," Ororo suggested. "You must have felt isolated. And perhaps, special?"
I nodded. "There were only two other black kids in my grade when I graduated high school. And on top of that I was a mutant. I did feel special," I admitted. "Look at the things I could do. No one else around me could do what I did. Everyone else just had to read about the Avengers and the Fantastic Four. I could actually go out and do something like that." A small smile of remembrance flitted across my face to be echoed in Ororo's regal features.
"After a few months of hiding it, hiding everything, trying to play at being normal - like everyone else," I corrected myself, "- I didn't feel so special. More like it was a burden. I had to be so careful around everyone. It was hard.keeping things a secret. Not letting little things slip - like seeing in the dark, or knowing who was coming into a room before they walked in." I couldn't believe how much I was babbling; I must've sounded incoherent. It was like once I got started, I couldn't stop.
"Of course, when I couldn't fly around - like during the day - I tried other things with my powers at home. Like making small lights, working on heating. Imagine trying to explain how things randomly caught fire," I said with a laugh. "It didn't happen often - just a few times in the beginning. I was really careful after that. But then all that changed." My smile deepened to a hard frown. I looked away from Ororo to study the cloudcover. "Then you find out you aren't so alone."
Ororo dipped her head in understanding. "The struggle for control and understanding is difficult, especially with no one there to guide or teach you. That is one advantage to being around your compeers."
"True. But sometimes seclusion is better.Better for everyone."
"Perhaps. But I feel the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages," Ororo countered. "Was it so bad to be around other mutants?"
"It was." I sighed wearily.
"I do not know what has happened to you in the past," Ororo began. I quickly cut her off.
"But it is in the past, Ororo. Where it needs to stay." I shrugged. "'Time heals all wounds'. 'You live, you learn', and all that other clichéd nonsense. You get over the bad stuff in life."
Ororo paused momentarily. "Only if you adequately deal with each situation. Work through the hurt, the loss, and all of the difficulties," she said. "No one has inquired.but did you know that young man who.?"
"I didn't know him," I said, looking down at the ground.forty feet below us. "It doesn't matter, though does it? He was - allegedly - a mutant. And that gang or whatever that got him and beat him to death...That could have been anyone of us."
"It was tragic," Ororo said.
"Yes," I agreed. What more was there to say? Anti-mutant feelings had boiled over in area not too far from school and resulted in a violent death. That had been about a week before I'd met the X-Men. "It was sad and unfortunate and it shouldn't have happened." _It certainly wouldn't have happened to me._
"It must have been unsettling for you. A brutal and vicious hate crime so close to where you live," she said. I could feel her eyes on me, but continued to look anywhere but at her.
I was zero-for-two today in the way of meaningful conversations. _No need to completely strike out, right?_ Plus I was in no mood for a heart- to-heart about how the death had affected me. "I should get back to studying Ororo. I have a final tomorrow."
"Be sure to get sufficient rest," Ororo counseled. She gave no indication of being perturbed by the sudden end of our conversation.
"Sleep is for the weak," I said with a smirk.
"And for those that dream," Ororo replied cryptically.
I gave her another questioning look. "Good night, Ororo."
"Good night. I will see you in the morning." I nodded and began a rapid descent to the ground.
* * * * *
*BAMF!* My radar sense tracked Kurt at the same time I heard his signature teleportation sound. Still, I was pretty astonished to see him climbing the walls then tumbling effortlessly through the air. He landed on the floor to my right with a flourish. "Voila!" he said, giving a deep bow.
It may have been almost midnight, and I was facing a helluva final tomorrow - but some things you just have to smile at. I turned away from the refrigerator and open cupboards to give him a round of applause. "Bravo! Bravo!"
"Thank you. Thank you," he said. He indicated the open door. "You are searching for something?"
"Uh - yeah. A little midnight snack," I explained. "Studying is tough work."
"Ach, so." Kurt grinned. His expression was particularly comical when he did so. "Do you like Chinese?" I nodded. "Three of us ordered food for the movie we watched tonight," Kurt said. "Please - help yourself." I realized it was the first time we had really spoken to each other; I hadn't noticed Kurt's strong German accent before. Or the preternaturally sharp canine teeth that became more evident when he smiled.
I paused digesting his words before responding. "Thanks."
"Do you have much more material to study?" he asked, stepping closer to hand me some of the small white containers from the fridge.
"Not too much longer." _Just forever_. "Maybe an hour. Then I'll get some shut-eye." I yawned loudly. I tried to subtly glance at him as I took the proffered foodstuffs. _He's not so strange looking_.
Kurt smiled, adjusting his bathrobe. "Do not stay up too late," he advised.
"Thanks. I'll try. But I can't make any promises," I said, pulling out a plate and silverware. "Are you hungry, too?"
"Nein.No," he repeated in English. "I wanted some cocoa," he explained, reaching for the milk.
"Why are you up so late, Kurt? Can't sleep?"
He shook his head. "I promised Amanda I would call her at midnight." I gave him a quizzical look. "My girlfriend. She is a stewardess. She should have just gotten to her hotel and be settled by midnight our time," he told me.
"Oh." _Kurt has a girlfriend?_ "How long have you been dating?" I asked, trying to keep my face neutral. I piled my plate with a mixture of every type of Chinese there was while Kurt began warming up the milk.
Kurt leaned back, thinking, while I put my food in the microwave. "It is a long story," he said finally.
"Those are the best kinds," I prompted him. "Maybe you can give me the highlights," I said.
So Kurt did. He plunged into an account of how he was adopted by a Gypsy Witch Queen, who raised him alongside her two children. We ended up sitting down at the table in the kitchen, me eating and listening while Kurt briefed me on his love life and drinking his hot chocolate. The whole sorted tale ended with Amanda unmasked as Jimaine, his childhood friend.
"Wow," I said between mouthfuls. "And you weren't mad, at all? About the deception, I mean."
"Perhaps a little. More surprised than anything. And feeling very, very lucky," he said his eyes twinkling merrily. I chuckled.
"Well I guess it's good to know that you can have a life outside of being an X-Man," I observed.
Kurt stared at something over my shoulder and rose. I scanned the oven clock behind me - 'seeing' without turning around. "You can. Like most worthwhile things in life, it requires patience and diligence. Please excuse me, mein freund, but I must make a call."
"Good night, Kurt," I said.
"Good luck on your examinations." He waved goodbye before disappearing in a puff of smoke and sound. _Whew - what a stink_! I finished off my food, then washed my dishes and set them to dry. _Back to the library for another hour of study_.
It wasn't until I was safely ensconced in the library that I realized I'd just spent twenty very pleasant minutes in conversation with Kurt. And I'd barely even thought about his appearance. Underneath his mutant exterior, he wasn't different at all. _He's just an ordinary guy_.
* * * * *
I met Ororo in the corridor outside of my room. It was quiet and well before 6 AM as we made our way downstairs. I was quite surprised by the presence of Warren, Kitty, and the Professor in the foyer. Well - as surprised as one can be if one can 'see' everything within a twenty-five- foot radius. _As long as I'm paying attention that is._
"It would seem some of the X-Men wanted to see you off," Ororo explained as they formed a loose circle around me.
_Wow._ I smiled, bleary-eyed from lack of sleep. "Thanks," I said, feeling warmed by their friendly gesture.
"Good luck," Kitty said brightly. Her hand seemed so small in mine, but her grip was firm and sure. "We'll see you in a week."
"Thanks, Kitty." I beamed. Then Warren stepped up.
"I'll be ready when you get back with a whole new list of names to try out on you, for when you join the team," he quipped.
"You better not," I said in mock warning. We shook hands and he clapped me lightly on the shoulder.
"Well.," he said, eyes heavenward as if he were really contemplating my request. "I won't. If you can stay out of trouble while you're away from here."
"Where would I be without trouble?" _Where indeed_? He laughed.
Then there was Professor Xavier sitting before me. "Best of luck to you, Mr. Darkmoon," he said. His shake was strong, and he seemed genuinely affable.
"Thanks. I'll be back in a few days," I vowed.
He nodded once. "I look forward to your return."
"Thanks," then to the group, "- to everyone, for being so nice," I said, shouldering my book bag and gripping my overnight bag in one hand. "I really appreciate what you've done for me, letting me stay here and all," I said, overcome with the goofiness of the whole situation.
"We'll all be here when you get back," Warren promised.
"We should be leaving," Ororo said.
"I know," I said, feeling a momentary sadness. "I'm ready. 'Bye."
"'Bye," they chorused once more before Ororo and I walked out the front door to the car waiting outside. We settled ourselves inside, and soon we were on our way.
* * * * *
It was a quiet ride to the airport. I think I apologized to Ororo twice for not being much of a conversationalist that morning. I must have dozed.I'd meant to study my notes on flight back, but suddenly we were pulling up the curb near a sign that said 'Departing Flights'.
"It has been a pleasure to meet you Tres," Ororo said.
"Thanks, Ororo."
"We will be in touch soon to discuss your return," she said.
"Uh.great," I said, none-too enthusiastic. "Until then."
"Until then," she said simply. "May the Bright Lady smile upon you."
"Thank you, Ororo," I said, suddenly shy.
"Well.Here I go," I said, not knowing what else to say. I unbuckled the seatbelt and opened the car door. I got out, carrying my luggage with me. I managed to get checked in and on-board. It was a an uneventful - and sleepy - flight back. From the airport, I caught a cab back to campus.
I managed to get back into my room in the fraternity house without incident. Most everyone was busy with last minute cramming or away at finals; hardly anyone noticed or acknowledged my unexpected appearance. I thought I'd be interrogated, but there were more urgent matters to attend to. Namely, academic success. Or rather - avoiding academic failure.
I tossed my overnight bag in the closet, grabbed a hot shower, and barricaded myself in my room to grab a few more hours of study. I put the X-Men and everything else that had happened to me in the last 72 hours out of my mind.
* * * * *
This story © 2003 Sherman Taylor
Clayton "Tres" Darkmoon © 2003 Sherman Taylor
The X-Men, Professor Charles Xavier, and all constituent
characters © 2002 Marvel Comics Group.
This story is not for sale and is not to be distributed without
permission of the author.
Please electronically mail comments to CommanderInChf@aol.com.
All constructive criticism is appreciated.
Microscope
"People want the illusion of choice without having to make a decision at
all."
* * * * *
"Grub's gettin' low," Wolverine grumbled from the refrigerator. I frowned slightly - firstly because I was hungry, and secondly because I didn't want to deal with a ravenous Wolverine. The sated one was already.interesting enough. "Thought you and 'Ro went to Salem Center yesterday." This last was directed at Warren, accompanied by a reproving stare.
Angel shrugged under that baleful look and shuffled his wings slightly. "We did - but not to food shop."
"Perhaps this afternoon, then" suggested Peter, lounging against the counter, also watching the two X-Men.
Wolverine grumbled something about making do, and resigned to another part of the kitchen where he had been making up several sandwiches. A chime from the microwave announced the completion of the rest of his meal - a couple of slices of pizza with the works. Arms loaded with goodies, Wolverine departed the kitchen, without a second glance.
Warren took up Wolverine's place at the refrigerator door, hunting around for something.
"Anything I can get for you Peter? Tres?" Warren asked politely.
"Is there any turkey left?" I volunteered.
"Yep. Ham and roast beef, too. We're out of bacon though - and the cheddar's seen better days," Warren said. He straightened bringing with him the selected meats. I stepped in to help, pulling what remained of several loaves of bread from a cupboard, while Peter took his turn rummaging through the refrigerator.
We worked in silence for a few minutes, save for the sound of sandwich making and Peter pulling things out of the refrigerator, shaking his head and putting something back only to start the whole process over. He finally decided on the cold leftovers of a pizza and some pot roast, a bowl of tortilla chips and extra hot salsa, with a diet cola to wash it all down. Gathering everything in his hands, he followed Warren and I out into the dining room, where Wolverine, Kitty and Kurt were sitting near the head of the table. After the breakfast fiasco, I took a seat away from where Professor Xavier usually sat. The three of us plunked ourselves down and began to dig in.
It was just after noon, and I think I was all out of conversation for the day. I was actually looking forward to going back to my semi-private alcove in the library where I could study in peace. I snorted softly - _my alcove_.
_Would it be so bad staying here?_ I looked around at the spacious dining room then thought about the rest of the mansion's resources. _I'd get to work with my powers - and be around other mutants, right?_ _I wouldn't have to hide my peculiarities - at least not while I'm here._ I guess if you have to keep a secret for nearly four years, even hanging out with outlaws starts to sound pretty good.
Chewing thoughtfully, I watched the others laughing and talking. Peter was trying to entice Kitty with some of his nachos. Kurt looked on bemusedly, his bright yellow eyes sparkling with mirth. Warren was quiet, seemingly enjoying a few moments of relaxation, but I could tell his mind was working - at what I did not know. Wolverine was seated near the head of the table, tearing through his food with enthusiasm - even though he'd been complaining about the lack of variety only a moment before. _These were the dreaded X-Men._ _If the world only knew._
Just then, Ororo and Professor Xavier came in, taking up their customary places at one end of the table. I chose that moment to look the other way, forcing myself to think about schoolwork and problem sets instead of the difficult choice I'd have to make regarding the school. The familiar knot of anxiety began to fill my stomach and I looked numbly at the half-eaten turkey sandwich in my hands. My appetite gone, I forced myself to eat the rest, not tasting a single bite. I realized then, how utterly exhausted I was from everything that had happened this morning. _Hell - in the last few days._ What I really wanted was some coffee.
I excused myself quickly from the table with a half-mumbled excuse and went off to make a pot of coffee, ignoring several pairs of eyes following me. In the relative safety and privacy of the kitchen, I felt some of the tension melting away; at least I could get away from Xavier for a few moments to think without wondering if he were eavesdropping. Then I realized how stupid and naïve that was; like a few feet were going to stop him from hearing my thoughts. I puttered around the kitchen searching for the coffee I knew Warren had this morning.
I'd been raised strictly around Folger's, but Warren had introduced me to a tastier blend brought in from somewhere exotic. I don't suppose Warren would mind, I thought, pulling the grounds from the freezer where they were stored.Soon the coffee was perking away, the unfamiliar and pungent smell filling the large room. I breathed deeply, closing my eyes to enjoy the aroma. I leaned back against the counter, waiting patiently for the caffeinated brew to finish.
"I thought I smelled." My eyes snapped open. Warren sniffed the air appreciatively, padding into the kitchen. "Worn out, Tres?" Dressed in a pair of well-worn jeans, white socks, and an old gray sweatshirt that said 'Xavier's', Warren hardly looked the part of an international superhero.
"Only a little. You don't mind, do you?" I asked, feeling a minor pang of guilt over the borrowed coffee.
"Not at all." He carried his dishes to the sink. "I wasn't that hungry after all, and I've got some paper work to look over," he explained. "Better to grab a quick bite and get some work done early."
"Okay." I sort of half-shrugged. "Me too."
"Well I'm not trading with you - so don't even think about asking," he said.
Which was just what I was thinking. "Damn! There goes Plan A! Oh well." Warren grinned while packing his lunch dishes into the dishwasher. I sighed. "Guess I better get back to the library. I can't waste the whole day."
"That's a good idea," he said as if considering. "I usually do my work in one of the studies. Sometimes I use the library. In fact, I may need to get some of my files out of the there. And use one of the computers. I'll be in there later on - just let me know if I'm bothering you."
I blinked in surprise. "Uh.It's not my library. I haven't laid any claim to it."
"What? You haven't? Didn't you read the fine print of the X-Men contract? You have to mark your territory early on, before all the good spots are taken!"
I made a little face while pouring myself a cup of coffee. "I shredded that particular contract. Didn't like the terms."
Warren turned a little more serious. "Hmmm, well there's always the opportunity to renegotiate terms," he said. "If you need legal counsel, I could recommend a few lawyers I keep on retainer."
I smiled to myself before taking a sip. Strong. "I'll keep that in mind," I replied, not sure if Warren were joking or not.
_Paper work, lawyers.He's gotta be kidding._ But then I didn't really know what Warren did outside the X-Men. I mean what was it that they did between being chased by torch-wielding mobs and blowing things up. _Was it just like today, maybe?_ _Or did they have jobs?_ It suddenly occurred to me how little I really knew about the people I was hanging around. Before I wouldn't have cared, but now was different. _I might be spending more time with them._
I followed Warren out of the kitchen, lost in thought while he prattled on. He'd settled back into lecture mode, so it was easy to keep him going with a few strategically placed "Uh-huh's" and "I don't know what that means". He led us through the dining room into the foyer, with me only half- listening. At least I'd have a week at the school to sort things out. Professor Xavier had made the offer and I'd agreed to return, but maybe I didn't want to come back. At least the next five days gave me the time to weigh all my options and get through finals. Mutant or not - I still had to obey the laws of supply and demand of the job market - which was currently requiring a high grade point average for providing an interview.
Back to the books, I thought.
* * * * *
I decided to take an after-dinner break. Get some fresh air. The Professor had told me to get more accustomed to using my powers - and there was no time like the present. Plus I was getting tired of staring at a computer screen and the same old textbooks. _Maybe I could explore the grounds a little_.I smiled to myself, glad to be doing something other than lessons for a few minutes.
I hadn't dressed warmly - sweats and a light long-sleeved shirt; I'd rely on my powers to keep me warm. I simply wandered down from my room and out the front door. No one was about, and I didn't think I needed to tell anyone I was going out. _Did I?_ I shrugged, standing on the front steps looking out over the grounds.
Virgin white snow covered the estate, and the air was clean and crisp. The sun had set already - we were nearing the Winter Solstice - but it wasn't absolutely dark. It was eerily silent. A wan, tired moon resided over my nocturnal activities; it was my only companion. I lifted off the ground, hovering slightly, then rocketing skyward.
I was free and alone - breathing the cold night air, flying fast and hard. It was such a relief to be away from the books and school and everything that was my old life. Everything that meant hiding and lying and holding back.
I twisted and spiraled, flipping over on my back, then righted myself. I felt the wind around the edges of my body-field, but not the cold. Before I knew it, I was quite high up, nearly above the cloud cover. I paused for a moment, studying the whole of the Xavier lands sprawled beneath me. Then I leveled off, zipping towards one end of the enclosed land.
Xavier had a nice place. It was even more impressive from the outside. Like Warren said, there really was a huge lake out back - with a boathouse and everything. I stopped over the center of it, then let myself down gently on the dock. The pond looked frozen, but I imagined that there were only a few inches of ice. I'd probably fall through if I walked out onto it. I had no desire to be cold and wet, but gazed solemnly at the water for a moment longer before flying off.
There were a lot of trees on the grounds, leafless, with some of the higher branches twinkling with snow in the moonlight. I drifted low, and began to zoom around the tree trunks, then over and under the low-hanging limbs. _And Xavier said I needed to work on my airborne agility._ I'm pretty nimble, I thought defensively. _If he could see me now._
Unfortunately, that particular train of thought was ultimately hitched to this afternoon's briefing. _Now what else did he say?_ That I should also work on my ability to generate light. And simultaneous 'scanning' and countering with my power. Bio-molecular-nuclear transfiguration. I considered that last one._Does that mean he wants me to become that - that creature again?_ I blanched slightly, thinking about my previous escapade. _Maybe he wants to see if I could make the change consciously._ _If I could will it so.Who knows?_ _Maybe I could._
Holding myself aloft I spread my fingers in front of my face. All right, I thought.Change! _Do something_ I ordered myself, looking for the slightest shift in color or appearance. Nothing happened. I looked at both sides of my hand, and continued to think of ways to get myself to transform. After five minutes of futile attempts, I was ready to call it quits and settle back for a few minutes of leisurely flying.
"I trust I am not interrupting?"
I whirled around. "Uh - hello Ororo. No - not at all," I smiled. "Just taking a break from my studies." She hovered close, the winds sustaining her flight ruffling her hair slightly. She was wearing a shortcropped sleeveless top and a pair of loose-fitting black pants. _I guess she opted to rely on powers for heat, too._ She was barefoot, and her outfit exposed the barest expanse of a firm, well-toned midriff.
"You fly well," she said after a moment.
"Thank you, Ororo." Another silence while I searched for something to say. "I like flying at night. Complete solitude. Just you and the stars and the moon." Suddenly nostalgic, the last of my words trailed off to barely a whisper.
She nodded. "I, too, sometimes seek refuge in the heavens. In solitude, there can be solace."
_Solace?_ I gave her a curious look, but opted not to take the bait. "When I first got my powers, I used to sneak out at night and fly around. I always had to be careful. I always worried someone would see me. It's kinda hard to be discrete if you're glowing. Luckily, I never got caught. Or lost."
"We are all, at times, thankful for the small favors bestowed upon us when fortune smiles," Ororo agreed.
"I always knew I was different," I said distantly. "I used to keep my head shaved, so people wouldn't see my hair, but there was nothing my parents could do to hide my eyes. Although green isn't nearly so strange, I suppose. When I became a mutant -." What a lame way to put that, I thought. "- I just figured that was just one more difference I had."
"A lonely time," Ororo suggested. "You must have felt isolated. And perhaps, special?"
I nodded. "There were only two other black kids in my grade when I graduated high school. And on top of that I was a mutant. I did feel special," I admitted. "Look at the things I could do. No one else around me could do what I did. Everyone else just had to read about the Avengers and the Fantastic Four. I could actually go out and do something like that." A small smile of remembrance flitted across my face to be echoed in Ororo's regal features.
"After a few months of hiding it, hiding everything, trying to play at being normal - like everyone else," I corrected myself, "- I didn't feel so special. More like it was a burden. I had to be so careful around everyone. It was hard.keeping things a secret. Not letting little things slip - like seeing in the dark, or knowing who was coming into a room before they walked in." I couldn't believe how much I was babbling; I must've sounded incoherent. It was like once I got started, I couldn't stop.
"Of course, when I couldn't fly around - like during the day - I tried other things with my powers at home. Like making small lights, working on heating. Imagine trying to explain how things randomly caught fire," I said with a laugh. "It didn't happen often - just a few times in the beginning. I was really careful after that. But then all that changed." My smile deepened to a hard frown. I looked away from Ororo to study the cloudcover. "Then you find out you aren't so alone."
Ororo dipped her head in understanding. "The struggle for control and understanding is difficult, especially with no one there to guide or teach you. That is one advantage to being around your compeers."
"True. But sometimes seclusion is better.Better for everyone."
"Perhaps. But I feel the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages," Ororo countered. "Was it so bad to be around other mutants?"
"It was." I sighed wearily.
"I do not know what has happened to you in the past," Ororo began. I quickly cut her off.
"But it is in the past, Ororo. Where it needs to stay." I shrugged. "'Time heals all wounds'. 'You live, you learn', and all that other clichéd nonsense. You get over the bad stuff in life."
Ororo paused momentarily. "Only if you adequately deal with each situation. Work through the hurt, the loss, and all of the difficulties," she said. "No one has inquired.but did you know that young man who.?"
"I didn't know him," I said, looking down at the ground.forty feet below us. "It doesn't matter, though does it? He was - allegedly - a mutant. And that gang or whatever that got him and beat him to death...That could have been anyone of us."
"It was tragic," Ororo said.
"Yes," I agreed. What more was there to say? Anti-mutant feelings had boiled over in area not too far from school and resulted in a violent death. That had been about a week before I'd met the X-Men. "It was sad and unfortunate and it shouldn't have happened." _It certainly wouldn't have happened to me._
"It must have been unsettling for you. A brutal and vicious hate crime so close to where you live," she said. I could feel her eyes on me, but continued to look anywhere but at her.
I was zero-for-two today in the way of meaningful conversations. _No need to completely strike out, right?_ Plus I was in no mood for a heart- to-heart about how the death had affected me. "I should get back to studying Ororo. I have a final tomorrow."
"Be sure to get sufficient rest," Ororo counseled. She gave no indication of being perturbed by the sudden end of our conversation.
"Sleep is for the weak," I said with a smirk.
"And for those that dream," Ororo replied cryptically.
I gave her another questioning look. "Good night, Ororo."
"Good night. I will see you in the morning." I nodded and began a rapid descent to the ground.
* * * * *
*BAMF!* My radar sense tracked Kurt at the same time I heard his signature teleportation sound. Still, I was pretty astonished to see him climbing the walls then tumbling effortlessly through the air. He landed on the floor to my right with a flourish. "Voila!" he said, giving a deep bow.
It may have been almost midnight, and I was facing a helluva final tomorrow - but some things you just have to smile at. I turned away from the refrigerator and open cupboards to give him a round of applause. "Bravo! Bravo!"
"Thank you. Thank you," he said. He indicated the open door. "You are searching for something?"
"Uh - yeah. A little midnight snack," I explained. "Studying is tough work."
"Ach, so." Kurt grinned. His expression was particularly comical when he did so. "Do you like Chinese?" I nodded. "Three of us ordered food for the movie we watched tonight," Kurt said. "Please - help yourself." I realized it was the first time we had really spoken to each other; I hadn't noticed Kurt's strong German accent before. Or the preternaturally sharp canine teeth that became more evident when he smiled.
I paused digesting his words before responding. "Thanks."
"Do you have much more material to study?" he asked, stepping closer to hand me some of the small white containers from the fridge.
"Not too much longer." _Just forever_. "Maybe an hour. Then I'll get some shut-eye." I yawned loudly. I tried to subtly glance at him as I took the proffered foodstuffs. _He's not so strange looking_.
Kurt smiled, adjusting his bathrobe. "Do not stay up too late," he advised.
"Thanks. I'll try. But I can't make any promises," I said, pulling out a plate and silverware. "Are you hungry, too?"
"Nein.No," he repeated in English. "I wanted some cocoa," he explained, reaching for the milk.
"Why are you up so late, Kurt? Can't sleep?"
He shook his head. "I promised Amanda I would call her at midnight." I gave him a quizzical look. "My girlfriend. She is a stewardess. She should have just gotten to her hotel and be settled by midnight our time," he told me.
"Oh." _Kurt has a girlfriend?_ "How long have you been dating?" I asked, trying to keep my face neutral. I piled my plate with a mixture of every type of Chinese there was while Kurt began warming up the milk.
Kurt leaned back, thinking, while I put my food in the microwave. "It is a long story," he said finally.
"Those are the best kinds," I prompted him. "Maybe you can give me the highlights," I said.
So Kurt did. He plunged into an account of how he was adopted by a Gypsy Witch Queen, who raised him alongside her two children. We ended up sitting down at the table in the kitchen, me eating and listening while Kurt briefed me on his love life and drinking his hot chocolate. The whole sorted tale ended with Amanda unmasked as Jimaine, his childhood friend.
"Wow," I said between mouthfuls. "And you weren't mad, at all? About the deception, I mean."
"Perhaps a little. More surprised than anything. And feeling very, very lucky," he said his eyes twinkling merrily. I chuckled.
"Well I guess it's good to know that you can have a life outside of being an X-Man," I observed.
Kurt stared at something over my shoulder and rose. I scanned the oven clock behind me - 'seeing' without turning around. "You can. Like most worthwhile things in life, it requires patience and diligence. Please excuse me, mein freund, but I must make a call."
"Good night, Kurt," I said.
"Good luck on your examinations." He waved goodbye before disappearing in a puff of smoke and sound. _Whew - what a stink_! I finished off my food, then washed my dishes and set them to dry. _Back to the library for another hour of study_.
It wasn't until I was safely ensconced in the library that I realized I'd just spent twenty very pleasant minutes in conversation with Kurt. And I'd barely even thought about his appearance. Underneath his mutant exterior, he wasn't different at all. _He's just an ordinary guy_.
* * * * *
I met Ororo in the corridor outside of my room. It was quiet and well before 6 AM as we made our way downstairs. I was quite surprised by the presence of Warren, Kitty, and the Professor in the foyer. Well - as surprised as one can be if one can 'see' everything within a twenty-five- foot radius. _As long as I'm paying attention that is._
"It would seem some of the X-Men wanted to see you off," Ororo explained as they formed a loose circle around me.
_Wow._ I smiled, bleary-eyed from lack of sleep. "Thanks," I said, feeling warmed by their friendly gesture.
"Good luck," Kitty said brightly. Her hand seemed so small in mine, but her grip was firm and sure. "We'll see you in a week."
"Thanks, Kitty." I beamed. Then Warren stepped up.
"I'll be ready when you get back with a whole new list of names to try out on you, for when you join the team," he quipped.
"You better not," I said in mock warning. We shook hands and he clapped me lightly on the shoulder.
"Well.," he said, eyes heavenward as if he were really contemplating my request. "I won't. If you can stay out of trouble while you're away from here."
"Where would I be without trouble?" _Where indeed_? He laughed.
Then there was Professor Xavier sitting before me. "Best of luck to you, Mr. Darkmoon," he said. His shake was strong, and he seemed genuinely affable.
"Thanks. I'll be back in a few days," I vowed.
He nodded once. "I look forward to your return."
"Thanks," then to the group, "- to everyone, for being so nice," I said, shouldering my book bag and gripping my overnight bag in one hand. "I really appreciate what you've done for me, letting me stay here and all," I said, overcome with the goofiness of the whole situation.
"We'll all be here when you get back," Warren promised.
"We should be leaving," Ororo said.
"I know," I said, feeling a momentary sadness. "I'm ready. 'Bye."
"'Bye," they chorused once more before Ororo and I walked out the front door to the car waiting outside. We settled ourselves inside, and soon we were on our way.
* * * * *
It was a quiet ride to the airport. I think I apologized to Ororo twice for not being much of a conversationalist that morning. I must have dozed.I'd meant to study my notes on flight back, but suddenly we were pulling up the curb near a sign that said 'Departing Flights'.
"It has been a pleasure to meet you Tres," Ororo said.
"Thanks, Ororo."
"We will be in touch soon to discuss your return," she said.
"Uh.great," I said, none-too enthusiastic. "Until then."
"Until then," she said simply. "May the Bright Lady smile upon you."
"Thank you, Ororo," I said, suddenly shy.
"Well.Here I go," I said, not knowing what else to say. I unbuckled the seatbelt and opened the car door. I got out, carrying my luggage with me. I managed to get checked in and on-board. It was a an uneventful - and sleepy - flight back. From the airport, I caught a cab back to campus.
I managed to get back into my room in the fraternity house without incident. Most everyone was busy with last minute cramming or away at finals; hardly anyone noticed or acknowledged my unexpected appearance. I thought I'd be interrogated, but there were more urgent matters to attend to. Namely, academic success. Or rather - avoiding academic failure.
I tossed my overnight bag in the closet, grabbed a hot shower, and barricaded myself in my room to grab a few more hours of study. I put the X-Men and everything else that had happened to me in the last 72 hours out of my mind.
* * * * *
This story © 2003 Sherman Taylor
Clayton "Tres" Darkmoon © 2003 Sherman Taylor
The X-Men, Professor Charles Xavier, and all constituent
characters © 2002 Marvel Comics Group.
This story is not for sale and is not to be distributed without
permission of the author.
Please electronically mail comments to CommanderInChf@aol.com.
All constructive criticism is appreciated.