The Sister-in-Law
Chapter 2
"I've gotta admit there's some down sides to having your sister around," I sighed, closing the door to the master bedroom behind me, "but it's not nice to tell her she isn't welcome."
"Isn't nice? I'll tell ya what isn't nice! She's already bugged our bedroom again!" Jin yelled, pointing to the bug his sister had placed on the side of the dresser. "Then she installed tiny spy cameras in all the bedrooms and all the rooms on the first floor! We're lucky she ain't puttin' a camera in the bathroom cause ye know she's sick enough to do it!"
"You're acting stupid! What in the world makes you think your sister is crazy enough to put cameras in the bathroom?"
"You see the way she acts!" Jin insisted.
"Okay. I'll admit there's a slim possibility. However, I still don't think she'd do that," I said.
"An' she's like them stupid Clow Card thing the kids're always watching! You've got to expect the unexpected from her!"
"No more Saturday morning cartoons for you," I mumbled. "Do you realize what a paranoid freak you've turned into since I closed the door?"
"If you think it's closing the door that made me like this, then go 'head an' open it! I still won't be any less paranoid!"
"God, you're really frazzled aren't you? How about we go downstairs and I'll fix you a shot of whiskey?"
"I thought you told me ne'er to drink that stuff again," Jin blinked.
"There are certain cases where I deem it appropriate. Do you want it or not?" I asked.
"Hell yeah! Do ye really 'spect an Irish man to turn down a shot a whiskey?"
"An Irish man? Not really. An Irish woman? Now that's pretty likely," I said.
"You're no less of an alcoholic than I am!" Jin snapped.
"Yeah but I have much more self-control than you do," I laughed. "Come on."
"Say," I smiled as I pulled the bottle out of the cabinet. "How about playing a little game?"
"A game?" Jin blinked.
"Ever heard of 'I Never'?"
"No… what the hell's that?"
"It's a very simple game. Get me two glasses, will you?" He got me the glasses and I poured the whiskey into one of the glasses, "Here are the basics. The players take turns saying true statements about themselves that begin with, 'I never.' If another player has done that, he or she has to take a drink. Any questions?" I put the whiskey away.
"Yeah, one," he stared at the glasses. "Why'd ye only fill one glass?"
"Because…," I pulled out a bottle of wine, "my system can't stand heavier alcohols. Even a few sips of wine make me tipsy."
"Then jus' stick a bit o' whiskey in a coke," Jin suggested.
"That tastes disgusting," I said. "I'll stick with wine," I poured myself a glass of wine. "Want me to start us off?"
"Yeah fine."
"I never… I never had any siblings in this lifetime."
Jin took a sip and smiled slyly. I figured that meant he had every intention of making me drunk. "I ne'er had kids."
"Then what do you call Kaze and Hikari?"
"Kids but I didn't have 'em," Jin said, "you did."
"Okay then," I took a sip. "I never played football."
"Ye mean thee stupid vi'lent game ye Americans seem so fond of or what you American dolts call soccer."
"Actually… I've never technically played either."
"You ne'er played football!?"
"No… not really…. I played out in the schoolyard as a kid but the only actual position anyone played was goalie and we almost never had a single offense in a game. It was basically just stand at opposing sides and kick a ball back and forth."
"All right then. Down the hatch," Jin gulped down some more whiskey. "I've ne'er kissed a guy."
"At all!?"
"Right."
"You lie!! There's no way you've never kissed your son!"
"I ha'nt. I've hugged 'im a lot but ne'er kissed 'im."
"Okay, if you say so," I sipped my wine. "I've never had to play pretend that I was a Clow Card," I giggled.
"Hey, you try bein the Time Card! It ain't fun!" Jin took in more whiskey.
"I'm sure it's not."
"Anyway I've ne'er played 'Attack of the Penguins'," Jin laughed hysterically. "I might understand such weird behavior if you was watchin the wee ones but ye and Lex was all alone."
"We were bored!" I inhaled nearly half my glass and swallowed.
"But penguins?"
"Hey, when one of your pals goes crazy and threatens to send penguin-shaped bombs after you, you start to have penguins on the brain a lot!"
"Let's get on with it," Jin rolled his eyes.
"I've never been seen in my underwear on the front lawn," I smiled.
"And I ne'er woulda been either if you ha'nt tossed me outta the house at six in the mornin!"
"I had a good reason… I just can't remember it…."
"Alright, let's keep going. I've ne'er kissed a member of the same sex."
"Well, considering I've kissed Hikari, I guess…," I swallowed the remaining wine in my glass and started to pour another.
"Startin ta feel tipsy?" Jin smiled slyly.
"Yes. Actually I am starting to feel a bit…," I paused. "God, tipsy doesn't even begin to describe what I feel like. Strange… I still feel like I have a level head though it's spinning in circles."
"Why don't ye finish that glass an' we'll go sit on the couch an' watch TV?" he asked.
"Okay!" I gulped down the full glass. "Let's go!"
Two hours later, Saki came back from taking the kids to the baseball field. She found Jin and I still on the couch, asleep, lips pressed against each others. Two seconds passed, and Saki closed the door. She turned to the curious and confused twins and sighed, "I think we should avoid the living room. Let's go in the back way."
Instantly, the twins understood. Aunt Saki was more adverse to anything romantic than they were. This told them that, if it were anything more than a single kiss, Saki would have thrown up. That's just the way she was.