I live in a dream.
Yes, I do. I'm not going to deny it anymore. We both know it's the only reason I don't end it right here, right now. You wonder how I survive watching him fall for her, again, knowing it's entirely my fault they fell apart the first time.
Now days everything seems to be my fault. Now, I'm not saying that it isn't, but it would be nice to be innocent for once. I'm sure you're laughing your head off right now, but it's hard y'know? I have to deal with his anger and hate every time I screw up, which is too often for my liking.
I can't comfort him even, because he'll be suspicious. But I can't blame him. I would be suspicious too if the guy who broke up my marriage got friendly. I can't be his best friend anymore.
I have to sit back and watch as he tears himself apart again and pretend not to care, but it's not that easy. I'd rather not be here at all. But I remain, waiting for a chance.
But things are starting to get complicated. It's a love triangle, as they call it, well there are more than three of us.
Mark
|
Lily
|
James
|
Me
|
May
Or, May loves me, I love James, James loves Lily, Lily loves Mark, and Mark hasn't a clue about anything. Throw in Lily's muggle friend Ann, who loves James as well, and you've got yourself one hell of a mess.
If you haven't noticed this before, you must be daft. But of course you know. You always know. Everyone knows. May knows, you know, Lily knows, and Jamie, my Jamie, well not my Jamie, but you get my point, I don't know what he knows.
My life has always been one big mess. When we were close to dying, I had a chance to tell him, but I couldn't. Then he went and disappeared. Meanwhile, my hiding place was on fire. Both literally and metaphorically. When he came back, I held onto hope for a little while, but it didn't last. SHE nearly broke YOUR arm when HE fell off his broom, all the while I was nearly killing the other players on the pitch, and myself, jumping from my own broom from ten feet in the air, onto a group of people, just to get near him.
People waved it off, I had always been crazy, and James and I were closer than close, but not quite that close. It still hurts when I realize when I'm just an extra in the story of James's life. That I'll never be anything. Just Padfoot, on the outside, always on the outside, looking in.
But I love him all the same.
I love James Potter and don't give a shit who knows it. Because Remus, you just can't forget someone like that.
Yes, I do. I'm not going to deny it anymore. We both know it's the only reason I don't end it right here, right now. You wonder how I survive watching him fall for her, again, knowing it's entirely my fault they fell apart the first time.
Now days everything seems to be my fault. Now, I'm not saying that it isn't, but it would be nice to be innocent for once. I'm sure you're laughing your head off right now, but it's hard y'know? I have to deal with his anger and hate every time I screw up, which is too often for my liking.
I can't comfort him even, because he'll be suspicious. But I can't blame him. I would be suspicious too if the guy who broke up my marriage got friendly. I can't be his best friend anymore.
I have to sit back and watch as he tears himself apart again and pretend not to care, but it's not that easy. I'd rather not be here at all. But I remain, waiting for a chance.
But things are starting to get complicated. It's a love triangle, as they call it, well there are more than three of us.
Mark
|
Lily
|
James
|
Me
|
May
Or, May loves me, I love James, James loves Lily, Lily loves Mark, and Mark hasn't a clue about anything. Throw in Lily's muggle friend Ann, who loves James as well, and you've got yourself one hell of a mess.
If you haven't noticed this before, you must be daft. But of course you know. You always know. Everyone knows. May knows, you know, Lily knows, and Jamie, my Jamie, well not my Jamie, but you get my point, I don't know what he knows.
My life has always been one big mess. When we were close to dying, I had a chance to tell him, but I couldn't. Then he went and disappeared. Meanwhile, my hiding place was on fire. Both literally and metaphorically. When he came back, I held onto hope for a little while, but it didn't last. SHE nearly broke YOUR arm when HE fell off his broom, all the while I was nearly killing the other players on the pitch, and myself, jumping from my own broom from ten feet in the air, onto a group of people, just to get near him.
People waved it off, I had always been crazy, and James and I were closer than close, but not quite that close. It still hurts when I realize when I'm just an extra in the story of James's life. That I'll never be anything. Just Padfoot, on the outside, always on the outside, looking in.
But I love him all the same.
I love James Potter and don't give a shit who knows it. Because Remus, you just can't forget someone like that.