"Hey Zim. Are you coming?" Dib called behind him, squeezing through another portal in the tunnel. So long ago, the base had been created to accommodate for Zim-sized creatures. It had been one year since the final contact by the Tallest, and Dib was no longer Zim-sized. He was already more than an inch taller, and was beginning to feel it in the claustrophobic tunnels beneath the base.
"Trust me, it's not like I'm not trying." Responded Zim, who was climbing a ladder behind him. Zim hadn't changed much during the past year. He had gone out and found some earth clothes that he liked, since he couldn't stand to see himself in his invader uniform anymore. Old habits die hard, however, and the red shirt and black jeans he wore now looked a lot like his old garb. Zim was navigating his way slowly and laboriously behind Dib, but not having much luck. So far, he'd managed to get caught on every rivet, wire, and outcropping in the tunnel. When he passed a low doorway, he ran smack into it with a metallic DINK! "Dh, ow…" Zim hissed, rubbing his forehead. "Eh, that's never happened before."
Dib glanced behind him. "Are you sure you're alright, Zim? Usually you're a mile ahead of me. You seem pretty clumsy lately. I mean, you even let me beat you in laser tag."
"Don't remind me. I still want a rematch." Zim smirked and pointed at Dib.
"Okay. You're on!" Dib replied, his voice cracking. He turned and continued climbing upwards.
The hatch to Zim's main control room opened with a loud clang. A year before, this room had been the base of operations for Zim's little corner of Operation Impending Doom II, but now it was mostly used as a computer library and data analysis room. Zim was stuck on Earth, so he figured he'd better make the best of the situation and learn as much as he could about the dustball he was on.
Dib shimmied though the portal, and Zim followed. "Whoo! You may have to remodel your base eventually, Zim. If we get any taller--"
Dib heard Zim gasp behind him. He twisted around. "Was it something I said?"
Zim was rubbing the knot on his forehead and blinking in disbelief. "Ugh... Taller?? We??"
"Yeah. Every time I see my dad, he keeps mentioning 'how much I've grown'." He rolled his eyes. "It gets old after a while, but at least he's paying attention...."
Zim turned on his heel and faced the main computer monitor. "Computer! Scan me and run an analysis, complete with height-weight chart!"
"Oh, all right..." The speakers whined. A laser line shot from an eye above the monitor, and swept Zim's body up and down. Irken characters filled the video screen.
Dib walked up behind him. "What's the big deal, Zim?"
Zim's eyes widened in surprise, as he pointed to a group of glyphs on the screen. "There!" He blinked. "You're right! I must not have noticed or something! I'm fourteen ticks taller than I was at the great assigning!"
"Zim? It's no big deal, you know. It's not like you aren't supposed to--"
Zim stopped him with a glance.
"…You weren't supposed to get any taller, were you Zim?"
"No." Zim said quickly. He started to pace, scratching his antenna. "Well, that explains my clumsiness... I don't believe it. I stopped growing 60 or some years ago… I was supposed to stay this short for the rest of my life… This isn't normal…" He stopped, and smirked. "Not that it isn't welcome…"
"Oh, yeah. Status is based on height where you come from." Dib said blankly, watching Zim continue to pace. "But I've seen Irkens a lot taller than you. What about those two jerky tallest ones?"
"They're only the Tallest because they were MADE that way. That's SUPPOSED to be the way it works. You do something great, you get an injection, you get a little taller. Repeat process." Zim made a cyclic motion with his hand.
Dib stood there, unblinking. "You know, in a weird way, that kind of makes sense…"
"But this is something completely different. Uninduced, spontaneous growth like this shouldn't happen. It's too random. It's unpredictable. It--" He stopped pacing and glanced at Dib. "It may be dangerous..." He'd never seen Zim worried before. Zim quickly moved to the computer console and began pushing buttons. "I'll have to run some experiments, to see what it is on Earth that's doing this to me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dib and Zim sat the first two seats of the classroom, Zim playing with a pencil, Dib cleaning his glasses with the inside of his trenchcoat. The fall colors were at their brightest on the leaves outside, which many of their fellow eighth-graders were content to stare at through the windows. The teacher was late, which was unusual for he first day of a new semester, and the entire class was starting to get antsy.
"Hey, I heard the old health teacher died last week from a heart attack." A gothed-out Zita blurted, her spider earrings bouncing as she turned her head.
"Go figure." Dib mumbled, shoving his glasses onto his face again. "Any idea who they got to replace him?"
"Psh. No." She responded as though Dib's addressing her had been a mortal insult. She quickly turned around in her chair and tried to find someone else to talk to--anything to keep away from the geek squad, apparently. Dib's eyes fell back to his desk. Same old thing every year.
"Why must we be kept WAITING like this?" Zim spat, slowly twirling his pencil around his fingers, eyes narrowing behind his fake human-pupiled lenses...
Just then, a familiar hissing sound drifted through the open door like the warning call of a giant rattlesnake. All the students turned and stared at the doorway.
"No way..." Chunk blinked.
"It can't be..." Melvin exclaimed.
The hissing sound grew louder, and a shadowy black figure slithered through. She turned her hideously wrinkled form towards the class, opened her cracked lips, and spoke. "Attention, class. For those of you who don't already know or are too brain-dead to remember, my name is Ms. Bitters, and this is health 101. The school board instituted this class in an attempt to ease the minds of psychotic pre-teens like yourselves and to inform you of your hideous imminent transition into adulthood. I'd like to explain to all of you that I was only forced into this job after being discharged from the elementary skool after the SUPPOSED incident with the pet snake in Mr. Elliot's class." She twitched. "Which I shall refuse to comment on from this moment forward!!"
The entire class cringed.
"Needless to say, I promise to be neither comforting, nor informative. The endless weighted statistics and mindless passages in your textbook should be sufficient to scare those of you genuinely curious about your bodies into submission. Now open up your textbooks and memorize pages 1 through 50. You will be quizzed on this..."
"Trust me, it's not like I'm not trying." Responded Zim, who was climbing a ladder behind him. Zim hadn't changed much during the past year. He had gone out and found some earth clothes that he liked, since he couldn't stand to see himself in his invader uniform anymore. Old habits die hard, however, and the red shirt and black jeans he wore now looked a lot like his old garb. Zim was navigating his way slowly and laboriously behind Dib, but not having much luck. So far, he'd managed to get caught on every rivet, wire, and outcropping in the tunnel. When he passed a low doorway, he ran smack into it with a metallic DINK! "Dh, ow…" Zim hissed, rubbing his forehead. "Eh, that's never happened before."
Dib glanced behind him. "Are you sure you're alright, Zim? Usually you're a mile ahead of me. You seem pretty clumsy lately. I mean, you even let me beat you in laser tag."
"Don't remind me. I still want a rematch." Zim smirked and pointed at Dib.
"Okay. You're on!" Dib replied, his voice cracking. He turned and continued climbing upwards.
The hatch to Zim's main control room opened with a loud clang. A year before, this room had been the base of operations for Zim's little corner of Operation Impending Doom II, but now it was mostly used as a computer library and data analysis room. Zim was stuck on Earth, so he figured he'd better make the best of the situation and learn as much as he could about the dustball he was on.
Dib shimmied though the portal, and Zim followed. "Whoo! You may have to remodel your base eventually, Zim. If we get any taller--"
Dib heard Zim gasp behind him. He twisted around. "Was it something I said?"
Zim was rubbing the knot on his forehead and blinking in disbelief. "Ugh... Taller?? We??"
"Yeah. Every time I see my dad, he keeps mentioning 'how much I've grown'." He rolled his eyes. "It gets old after a while, but at least he's paying attention...."
Zim turned on his heel and faced the main computer monitor. "Computer! Scan me and run an analysis, complete with height-weight chart!"
"Oh, all right..." The speakers whined. A laser line shot from an eye above the monitor, and swept Zim's body up and down. Irken characters filled the video screen.
Dib walked up behind him. "What's the big deal, Zim?"
Zim's eyes widened in surprise, as he pointed to a group of glyphs on the screen. "There!" He blinked. "You're right! I must not have noticed or something! I'm fourteen ticks taller than I was at the great assigning!"
"Zim? It's no big deal, you know. It's not like you aren't supposed to--"
Zim stopped him with a glance.
"…You weren't supposed to get any taller, were you Zim?"
"No." Zim said quickly. He started to pace, scratching his antenna. "Well, that explains my clumsiness... I don't believe it. I stopped growing 60 or some years ago… I was supposed to stay this short for the rest of my life… This isn't normal…" He stopped, and smirked. "Not that it isn't welcome…"
"Oh, yeah. Status is based on height where you come from." Dib said blankly, watching Zim continue to pace. "But I've seen Irkens a lot taller than you. What about those two jerky tallest ones?"
"They're only the Tallest because they were MADE that way. That's SUPPOSED to be the way it works. You do something great, you get an injection, you get a little taller. Repeat process." Zim made a cyclic motion with his hand.
Dib stood there, unblinking. "You know, in a weird way, that kind of makes sense…"
"But this is something completely different. Uninduced, spontaneous growth like this shouldn't happen. It's too random. It's unpredictable. It--" He stopped pacing and glanced at Dib. "It may be dangerous..." He'd never seen Zim worried before. Zim quickly moved to the computer console and began pushing buttons. "I'll have to run some experiments, to see what it is on Earth that's doing this to me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dib and Zim sat the first two seats of the classroom, Zim playing with a pencil, Dib cleaning his glasses with the inside of his trenchcoat. The fall colors were at their brightest on the leaves outside, which many of their fellow eighth-graders were content to stare at through the windows. The teacher was late, which was unusual for he first day of a new semester, and the entire class was starting to get antsy.
"Hey, I heard the old health teacher died last week from a heart attack." A gothed-out Zita blurted, her spider earrings bouncing as she turned her head.
"Go figure." Dib mumbled, shoving his glasses onto his face again. "Any idea who they got to replace him?"
"Psh. No." She responded as though Dib's addressing her had been a mortal insult. She quickly turned around in her chair and tried to find someone else to talk to--anything to keep away from the geek squad, apparently. Dib's eyes fell back to his desk. Same old thing every year.
"Why must we be kept WAITING like this?" Zim spat, slowly twirling his pencil around his fingers, eyes narrowing behind his fake human-pupiled lenses...
Just then, a familiar hissing sound drifted through the open door like the warning call of a giant rattlesnake. All the students turned and stared at the doorway.
"No way..." Chunk blinked.
"It can't be..." Melvin exclaimed.
The hissing sound grew louder, and a shadowy black figure slithered through. She turned her hideously wrinkled form towards the class, opened her cracked lips, and spoke. "Attention, class. For those of you who don't already know or are too brain-dead to remember, my name is Ms. Bitters, and this is health 101. The school board instituted this class in an attempt to ease the minds of psychotic pre-teens like yourselves and to inform you of your hideous imminent transition into adulthood. I'd like to explain to all of you that I was only forced into this job after being discharged from the elementary skool after the SUPPOSED incident with the pet snake in Mr. Elliot's class." She twitched. "Which I shall refuse to comment on from this moment forward!!"
The entire class cringed.
"Needless to say, I promise to be neither comforting, nor informative. The endless weighted statistics and mindless passages in your textbook should be sufficient to scare those of you genuinely curious about your bodies into submission. Now open up your textbooks and memorize pages 1 through 50. You will be quizzed on this..."