Liquid: Hello and welcome to a very special Pressing Issues. Today Maurice
has been given the day off and I was chosen to be today's host. Today
instead of having a topic I've arranged for a little surprise. Today on
Pressing Issues all of my brothers...and Raiden will be answering all of
your questions. So without further adu please welcome my first brother
Solidus Snake.
Solidus tries to get through the door, but he has on his tentacles and can't fit through the doorway.
Soildus: God damn doors...why didn't I buy that door attachment at radioshack...to hell with this.
Solidus whips out his gun and makes a better more efficent door by taking out the whole wall of the studio.
Soildus: There better.
Liquid is laughing.
Liquid: He was always the smart one. Next I'm happy to introduce you to the one and only Soild Snake.
Snake walks into the studio with a package in his arms. He sits down and takes an X-Box and portable screen out of the package.
Liquid: What are you playing.
Snake: DOA: Extreme Beach Volleyball.
Solidus and Liquid rush over to the screen.
Solidus: Wait a minute didn't you rent this from Blockbuster.
Snake: Yep about 2 weeks ago.
Liquid: Isn't it overdue. I heard they send over some people to confiscate the game if it's gone too long
Snake: Oh they try, and it's becoming a real pain to hide the bodies.
Liquid, Solidus, and Snake all play the game for about an hour until they are inturrupted by the producer.
Producer: Come on guys we got a show to do. Get the last guest out.
Snake stops playing.
Snake: Last guest...oh jesus...you don't mean.
Liquid: I'm sorry brothers. Ladies and Gentlemen...Raiden.
Solidus: Oh god.
Raiden walks in and sits down.
Snake: Urge to unleash pistol and start shooting rising.
Raiden: Hey everyone.
Liquid: Ok let's open up the phone lines and start taking some calls.
Caller #1: Hello I have a question for all of them. I though you all hated each other and now your all sitting in the same room what's going on?
Liquid: Oh we all don' t really hate each other Kojima just makes us fight. Especially when he gets drunk.
Caller #1: Really?
Solidus: Yeah in fact one time at one of his keg parties he got so drunk that he wrote up a script where we all wrestle in a giant pool of Sprite. Luckly, he passed out before it got to Konami.
Snake: Thank you dear god for that. So you see caller all of our fine with each other...except Raiden we all hate his guts.
Liquid and Solidus both agree.
Raiden: Yeah I hate Raiden to.
They all look at him.
Snake: Moron.
Liquid: Ok next caller.
Caller 2: Hello I have a question for Snake. Man, what is it with you and cardboard boxes.
Snake: Once again Kojima was drunk.
Caller 2: Oh ok then bye.
Raiden: I like bunnies.
Solidus: What the hell is wrong with him.
Snake laughs.
Snake: I put massive amounts of Patazimine in his breakfest this morning.
Solidus: Oh wait a minute so did I.
Liquid: Yeah me too...
They all look at each other and start laughing.
Liquid: We'll be rigth back after these messages.
**Commercial**
Psycho Mantis: Hello friends. I can read your mind, and now for only $3.95 per second I can now read your future.
That weird music from when your were near the director's room in MGS starts playing.
Mantis: Yes dear friends with Psycho Mantis and Friends Psychic Connection you will get to know your future. Call now and I might even make your controller move across your living room floor. So call now the number is 1- 800-MANTISISTHEGODOFUALL. Remember I can read your minds.
Annoucer: Mantis and Friends is not responsible for taking over of mind when using his service.
**Commercial**
Solidus, Liquid, and Snake have made Raiden belive he has a tail and have been making him chase it for several hours.
Solidus: Ok the first 5 minutes it was funny...then it was sad...now it's funny again.
Liquid: Yea...oh yeah I forgot we got another caller.
Caller 3: Hey Solidus did you like copy Dr. Octopus or something
Laughing from Caller 3 can be heard. Solidus however is really pissed off.
Solidus: Trace the call now.
Snake: It's coming from...inside the studio!?
Solidus: The hell.
Liquid: What is this?
Caller 3: Mwahahahahaha you don't know who I am do you...I'm very close by.
Snake: Ok enough who is this.
Caller 3: You'll know soon enough...
A voice in the background where Caller 3 is: Maurice what the hell are you doing in Lazlow's studio man he's gonna kick your ass when he sees you've been using his phone.
Caller 3: SHIT
He hangs up.
Snake and Liquid both look to Solidus and nod. Solidus stands up and leaves the studio.
Liquid: Anyway while Solidus goes and beats the living hell outta Maurice. Let's answer another call.
Caller 4: Hi yes I was wondering if you could tell me if you ever enjoyed being naked togather.
Liquid: WHAT.
Snake: BARRY IS THAT YOU YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH.
Raiden: I LIKE BANANA PUDDING.
Caller 4 (Barry): Yes it's me dear people and I just want to say nudity is how you should live your life...
Liquid interupts and takes out his radio.
Liquid: Vamp is your Harrier still working...good go blow up Barry...yes we traced the call...uh huh it's 1739 Nudist Road.
Solidus walks back into the room.
Snake: Well is he dead.
Solidus: I think...after the third time I sliced him he stopped moving...then the foruth time he started twitching.
Liquid: Ok good.
Raiden: I said my ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, I like to play with my...
Snake whips outs his Socom and reapeatedly shoots Raiden.
Liquid: Ok now that Raiden is down is a bloody mess I think it is time to end the show. Thank you all of our callers.
Solidus: Sould we call maintence to clean him up.
Snake: Nah...let's play more Extreme Beach Volleyball.
Solidus and Liquid: OK
Announcer: And that was this episode of Pressing Issues join us next tiem when Maurice will remind us that prank calling is bad.
Solidus tries to get through the door, but he has on his tentacles and can't fit through the doorway.
Soildus: God damn doors...why didn't I buy that door attachment at radioshack...to hell with this.
Solidus whips out his gun and makes a better more efficent door by taking out the whole wall of the studio.
Soildus: There better.
Liquid is laughing.
Liquid: He was always the smart one. Next I'm happy to introduce you to the one and only Soild Snake.
Snake walks into the studio with a package in his arms. He sits down and takes an X-Box and portable screen out of the package.
Liquid: What are you playing.
Snake: DOA: Extreme Beach Volleyball.
Solidus and Liquid rush over to the screen.
Solidus: Wait a minute didn't you rent this from Blockbuster.
Snake: Yep about 2 weeks ago.
Liquid: Isn't it overdue. I heard they send over some people to confiscate the game if it's gone too long
Snake: Oh they try, and it's becoming a real pain to hide the bodies.
Liquid, Solidus, and Snake all play the game for about an hour until they are inturrupted by the producer.
Producer: Come on guys we got a show to do. Get the last guest out.
Snake stops playing.
Snake: Last guest...oh jesus...you don't mean.
Liquid: I'm sorry brothers. Ladies and Gentlemen...Raiden.
Solidus: Oh god.
Raiden walks in and sits down.
Snake: Urge to unleash pistol and start shooting rising.
Raiden: Hey everyone.
Liquid: Ok let's open up the phone lines and start taking some calls.
Caller #1: Hello I have a question for all of them. I though you all hated each other and now your all sitting in the same room what's going on?
Liquid: Oh we all don' t really hate each other Kojima just makes us fight. Especially when he gets drunk.
Caller #1: Really?
Solidus: Yeah in fact one time at one of his keg parties he got so drunk that he wrote up a script where we all wrestle in a giant pool of Sprite. Luckly, he passed out before it got to Konami.
Snake: Thank you dear god for that. So you see caller all of our fine with each other...except Raiden we all hate his guts.
Liquid and Solidus both agree.
Raiden: Yeah I hate Raiden to.
They all look at him.
Snake: Moron.
Liquid: Ok next caller.
Caller 2: Hello I have a question for Snake. Man, what is it with you and cardboard boxes.
Snake: Once again Kojima was drunk.
Caller 2: Oh ok then bye.
Raiden: I like bunnies.
Solidus: What the hell is wrong with him.
Snake laughs.
Snake: I put massive amounts of Patazimine in his breakfest this morning.
Solidus: Oh wait a minute so did I.
Liquid: Yeah me too...
They all look at each other and start laughing.
Liquid: We'll be rigth back after these messages.
**Commercial**
Psycho Mantis: Hello friends. I can read your mind, and now for only $3.95 per second I can now read your future.
That weird music from when your were near the director's room in MGS starts playing.
Mantis: Yes dear friends with Psycho Mantis and Friends Psychic Connection you will get to know your future. Call now and I might even make your controller move across your living room floor. So call now the number is 1- 800-MANTISISTHEGODOFUALL. Remember I can read your minds.
Annoucer: Mantis and Friends is not responsible for taking over of mind when using his service.
**Commercial**
Solidus, Liquid, and Snake have made Raiden belive he has a tail and have been making him chase it for several hours.
Solidus: Ok the first 5 minutes it was funny...then it was sad...now it's funny again.
Liquid: Yea...oh yeah I forgot we got another caller.
Caller 3: Hey Solidus did you like copy Dr. Octopus or something
Laughing from Caller 3 can be heard. Solidus however is really pissed off.
Solidus: Trace the call now.
Snake: It's coming from...inside the studio!?
Solidus: The hell.
Liquid: What is this?
Caller 3: Mwahahahahaha you don't know who I am do you...I'm very close by.
Snake: Ok enough who is this.
Caller 3: You'll know soon enough...
A voice in the background where Caller 3 is: Maurice what the hell are you doing in Lazlow's studio man he's gonna kick your ass when he sees you've been using his phone.
Caller 3: SHIT
He hangs up.
Snake and Liquid both look to Solidus and nod. Solidus stands up and leaves the studio.
Liquid: Anyway while Solidus goes and beats the living hell outta Maurice. Let's answer another call.
Caller 4: Hi yes I was wondering if you could tell me if you ever enjoyed being naked togather.
Liquid: WHAT.
Snake: BARRY IS THAT YOU YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH.
Raiden: I LIKE BANANA PUDDING.
Caller 4 (Barry): Yes it's me dear people and I just want to say nudity is how you should live your life...
Liquid interupts and takes out his radio.
Liquid: Vamp is your Harrier still working...good go blow up Barry...yes we traced the call...uh huh it's 1739 Nudist Road.
Solidus walks back into the room.
Snake: Well is he dead.
Solidus: I think...after the third time I sliced him he stopped moving...then the foruth time he started twitching.
Liquid: Ok good.
Raiden: I said my ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, I like to play with my...
Snake whips outs his Socom and reapeatedly shoots Raiden.
Liquid: Ok now that Raiden is down is a bloody mess I think it is time to end the show. Thank you all of our callers.
Solidus: Sould we call maintence to clean him up.
Snake: Nah...let's play more Extreme Beach Volleyball.
Solidus and Liquid: OK
Announcer: And that was this episode of Pressing Issues join us next tiem when Maurice will remind us that prank calling is bad.