See look I've updated no need to send Scott to me, I'm being a good girl honest *grins innocently*
I apologies if the breaks between chapters are weird, I never know where the hell to end chapters so I hope it makes sense!
That evening
We sat watching the TV. when pffft all the electricity went out
"ARGH! IT'S DARK" Kat screeched in that high pitched voice that only dogs and Wolverine could hear as there was another high pitched girly shriek.
"Kat that was my crotch you just grabbed and squeezed like that" Tristan said higher pitched than usual and with a small cough
"What's going on?" Mel asked as if the electricity hadn't gone out all of 10 seconds ago
"Calm down….it's probably just a fuse blown I'll go check" Richard said making his unsteady way to the bits'n'bobs drawer where our torch's are kept.
Someone (I assume Tristan) leapt up to join Richard but fell straight back down onto the sofa making small gasps of pain (obviously feeling the after effects of Kats vice like grip).
"I'M SCARED!" Kat wails sobbing onto what she assumed to be Tristan's shoulder
"Kat that's the arm of the sofa" Tristan pointed out making her wail louder.
"Take her into the basement it's time she had a 'time out'" I instructed as Bobby and Tristan took an arm each and descended to the basement with her.
I looked around feeling like I should be doing something ….leaderish…so I looked at Jubilee and Bounce whose evil grins I could just make out in the dusky darkness and did what everyone was thinking about…
I grabbed a pillow "PILLOW FIGHT!"
We heard Mel give a sniffle from the corner well aware that as usual she would be the subject to the majority of the torment.
5 minutes later
We had run out of pillows that hadn't split and Richard was still poking around in the box of fuses, he must have been stuck as he had asked Tristan to help him, something people rarely do his charges are steep (once he helped me mow the lawn and I ended up doing his washing for a week?! How that had come about I do not to this day know). Anyway I was now at a lose end and decided to go down and check how well Kat was coping with her punishment.
I descended down the spiral stone staircase illuminated by the soft glow of numerous candelabras mounted upon the wall, once I had reached the bottom step I swept the basement cum dungeon with a glance. Black shackles were mounted on the wall to my right, there was a rack in the middle of the floor and to my left was the iron maiden and Kats wheel of terror.
Kats wheel of terror despite the sound of it was actually not that bad, well as long as you like over sized hamster wheels that is. I watched as Kat ran in terror in the wheel making it spin faster and faster, her breathing speeding up until she didn't think she could breath anymore and so, she stopped in her tracks….unfortunately the wheel didn't stop spinning resulting in Kat spinning round and round in the wheel on her butt mouthing "Help" as she sped so fast around the wheel that she was almost a blur and then she found her feet and began to run again, it was all in all a good evenings entertainment.
Later….
I decided the only way to get out of this predicament was to drown my sorrows but seeing as we couldn't afford a taxi I decided that I would have to find my own way to the Jade Room and so my trusty reader I made my way to the Retribution X mobile (the 11th one in the last year or so).
Mmmm…I wandered around the garage, it wasn't there and I knew no one else had driven it except me (mainly because not all Retribution X could drive and the ones that could, had their own flash sports cars *cough* Tristan, Richard *cough*), I must have parked it somewhere else.
"May I inquire as to what you are seeking?" I was startled as the large Blue mutant hung down from the tree hanging onto a branch with his unnaturally large feet.
I gazed sadly out at the lake "Do you ever park your car and then not know where it is?" I asked him
"Certainly"
"Well its one of those times"
"Oh." Beast thought for a moment "You always park your car in the lake so that is the obvious place to look"
"You know this isn't a good time to turn your hand to sarcasm" I grimaced "Besides I've looked everywhere else, even Kats bedroom which was a brave feat I think you will agree"
"Kats bedroom?"
"Every thing that goes missing can be found there; washing machines, matches, fairy liquid, saucepans…." I trailed of in the hope that if I turned around really quick the car would be behind me, I did this several times but to no avail.
Back inside the mansion
I walked into the mansion sighing loudly in the hope that someone would ask me what was wrong. I had to repeat this several times and with a few electric shocks thrown in before Tristan finally took the hint.
"What the hells wrong with you?" He grunted as I zapped him for the 8th time
"Me? What makes you think something is wrong?" I asked
Tristan opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off
"Where the bloody hell is our mutant mobile?? I'm sure I parked it in the garage but I can't find it anywhere"
"Oh I forgot to tell you Scott drove away with it saying that the insurance for it was too high so Xavier was gonna sell it to the Avengers"
"YOU WHAT?!" I exploded outraged "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE AVENGERS?"
"Erm the Avengers, he sold it to em" He gulped edging away from me
"AND YOU LET THEM?"
"Well I couldn't say no could I? I was getting ready for my date and I didn't wanna have to have another shower after touching Scott did I?"
We sat in silence for a moment "So how did your date go?"
"Oh it was fine….is it me or is it starting to get cold outside?" He hedged around the subject
"You weren't gone long?"
"Yes that was probably because she heard a little rumour" blushed scarlet
"What she ditched you because you're a mutant that is disgusting!" I was beginning to get mad again
"No she heard I went for a date with last month's hottie yesterday!"
"Oh well serves you right then!" I said whacking him with the pillow, "Womaniser"
"Hey there was no need for that!" He said as he spilt some beer down his shirt
There was a knock at the door and the sound of clambering I got up prepared to shout at them to go away only to be faced with the same rabble of kids we got every Friday night. Mel and Kurt got up and straightened their clothes waiting for the kids to start taking photos of them…only this week they didn't.
"You can take the pictures now if you like" Mel said digging her elbow into Kurt's ribs to make him smile
"Sorry, but you aint the cutest couple anymore…" A small blond haired boy stated as there was a sudden surge of movement from the crowd behind him as Kat and Bobby came down the stairs.
"How does it feel to be voted the mansions cutest couple in this month's who's hot poll?" Was one of the yells I heard aimed at the couple? I suddenly flung myself out from behind the door and bared my teeth waiting for the kids to scatter as was their custom. However today they just continued to photograph Kat and Bobby
In front of the Who's Hot who's not board
"I can't believe that me and Kurt have slipped behind them" Mel was on the verge of tears when she noticed that she and Kurt had slipped from the hottest couple to the 'Ug Pugs' (A/N Ugliest people) section of the board
You would be forgiven if you thought she was referring to the Mansions newest hot couple; however she was in fact referring to the Summers who habitually took the last place, the last place that Mel and Kurt were now occupying.
I however had my own problems "I can not believe I am no longer the mansions scariest inhabitant."
"Yeah well Wolverines been back from the Canadian wilderness almost a month now and I think he has been snarling away especially to hit the top spot" Richard informed me
I sulked slightly, me being the scariest Inhabitant often meant that the dinner queue disappeared as soon as I appeared, so I would play this up and throw apples at the younger students and sharpen my knife collection in their rec room while glowering at them and muttering 'soon…soon'. Now the midget man returns to take my crown, mmmm…I don't think so. I would prove them wrong tonight if I had to skin em…ok maybe I wouldn't go that far. I was suddenly jerked away from my evil plans by Bounce
"PHEW!" She said wiping her forehead off
"What?" I asked looking at her for an explanation
Jubilee helpfully pointed a gloved finger (temperatures were dropping in the Retribution X side of the mansion) at the 'Crappest team of the moment' sheet, this was the most prestigious of all as it was backed by *shock horror* statistics.
"We're still the crappest team" Jubilee said with a grin the size of the Mississippi river.
"Ohhh it says we only completed 1 mission out of 16 last month, and as a little note on the side it says we fled after Kat related incidents…" Jubilee said peering at the sheet with size 10 font (it saves on ink this way or so the professors says).
"You know there should be an emergency number especially for Kat related incidents like 911" Bounce interrupted her before being silenced by a glare from Jubilee who was enjoying being centre of attention.
"….fled after Kat related incidents and bouts of indigestions" Jubilee finished staring haughtily at Tristan
Tristan merely shrugged at the accusation and said "It was the beef"
I looked at Jubilee surprised "You soon changed your tune a minute ago you was proud to be the a member of the crappest team"
"Well look the even the Avengers are above us" She said pouting
I blinked at her for a moment just because I could.
I took a moment to realise what the angry hum reminiscent of angry bees storming towards us was and by the time we realised it was too late the Professor was already ramming us in the legs with his wheel chair.
"Owwww….." Richard looked startled.
Bounce covered her head with her hands "My legs hurt" She announced rubbing her ear
"Get out of my mansion! GETTTT OUUUUTT!" He yelled at us sounding like the scariest of scary low budget horror movie Zombies.
Needless to say we fled at high speeds as Xavier cackled manically from behind us.
Back in our wing.
The sound of the radio being tuned in cut into my head like a jack hammer as I shivered from the lack of heating, (it may have been because I was sat next to Bobby but lets ignore that fact).
"Today mass murderer Bob Nesbitt escaped from the secure prison in which he was sentenced to face life imprisonment after freezing his victims, mainly young couples before cutting them up and selling the bodies to a local butcher as pork. He has served 15 years of his sentence and is said to be dangerous and that if seen he should not be approached, however there is a substantial reward on knowledge of his whereabouts.
Meanwhile in other news George Bush…"
I heard the sound of the radio news person mutter, before it burst into a salsa song.
"Hey I was listening to the news" Mel protested, Richard sighed wearily as Jubilee clung to the radio protectively.
"Is that Captain America….Naked?" Mel asked pointing at the wall, however it apparently fooled Jubilee and Bounce both of whose heads spun around to take in the sight…of a wall
"No fair you're not meant to use your powers on your team mates!" Jubilee said pulling the radio back out of Mel's hands and turning it back to the Salsa hour, this action resulted in a tug of war between Mel and Jubes
"SALSA HOUR!"
"THE NEWS!"
"SALSA HOUR!!!"
"THE NEWS!"
"SALS…."
*STOMP STOMP, CRASH, CRACKLE*
I stomped on the radio three times making sure it was well and truly silenced before throwing it out of the window.
This resulted in a unified cry of "ASH!" from all of the rooms occupants, except Kat who wailed "FRED!"
I blinked at Kat for a moment before throwing myself back onto the sofa, 6 sets of eyes were trained on me accusingly as I drank some of the skanky water out of the vase, Kat was looking at the ceiling giggling to her self.
"What?!" I asked indignantly
Later….
As night fell our wing of the mansion became shrouded in darkness, it freezing cold and we couldn't light a fire because Kat was too afraid to move to light one because she was scared of the dark.
Jubilee stood up, at least I think it was Jubilee you couldn't really tell one form from the other in the dark but her neon yellow Mac was a give away
"I have an idea!" She announced
"We've been here before" I heard Mel mumble
Jubilee stared Mel down in typical Jubilee style "And what exactly is that meant to mean Miss Thang?"
Mel opened her eyes wide with shock and innocence "Nothing, nothing all I'm saying is that I remember the protest song you made us sing"
Jubilee just flicked her hair "Well if you don't want to hear a suggestion that may get us out of this situation…" She began to walk away but was stopped as her butt caught fire (Kat thought it was a killer glow worm!)
"I know what your suggestion is…" Bounce claimed with insight "…that we take Kat to the pound and put her up for adoption!"
Jubilee (after stopping, dropping and rolling as she had millions of times before) shook her head "Nothing as simple as that I am afraid, it involves apologising to Xavier and trying to get him on side…."
"And how do you propose to do that?" Richard asked
"Simple we play the guilt trip"
"Well I for one refuse to go batting my eyelashes at that monster…..anyway it's not that cold" I said just knowing that my nose was turning blue
"I'll do all the talking!" Jubilee offered
I looked at her reluctantly "Ok I'm in"
Several minutes later
We led Kat to Xavier's office with the dog lead that Bounce brought for her pet rabbit so that we knew where she was in the dark (which made her sob).
After minutes of petitioning and putting our case to the 'nice old man' we got told that he was glad that Kat was dying of hypothermia and Tristan may not be able to attend his date cause he had a cold, and that we deserved all we got. Then as the sour icing on a very bitter cake he began ramming our legs again with his wheelchair and telling us that if we ever set foot in this side of the mansion again he would set Scott and Jean on us….as babysitters, the thought was quite truthfully terrifying. We slunk to our mansion like dogs with our tails between our legs and wondered for the first time if we really had pushed him too far…after all he was bald.
We passed Kurt sat by the warm glow of the X-men's fire in the rec. room and he waved brightly at us as we rubbed our gloved hands together. Mel asked if he would join us back in our room and he merely shrugged before pointing at the fire.
Minutes later in the Retribution X wing
Tristan had gone on a date with some chick from the local library leaving us alone to make our own entertainment, and after the 100th argument that night I threw the monopoly board out of the window…I do not CHEAT!
"Hey where's Richard?" Bounce asked patting Kats back trying to get her to cough up the shoe she had eaten moments before.
"I don't know!" I said exasperatedly as I slammed the window shut "You lot probably frightened him off" I joked causing Kat to burst into tears and wail
"It was Mel!"
Used to these outbursts we ignored her.
"I wonder where Richard could be" Mel said in her best Belle voice
"THE MURDERERERS TAKEN HIM" Kat wailed tears streaming down her face
The team scattered and began looking for him, we looked everywhere under the cushions, in the cupboard and Kat even looked in his Cooler (with wheels) and a jar of instant coffee, mind you it was hard to see with no lights on.
"That means that the brave soul has traipsed to the inner mansion and risked being shut in a room with the Summers" I announced to the girls, Mel and Bounce made the sign of the cross while Kat resumed weeping, and Jubilee hoped that his soul may be free of torture once it ha departed from this plain of existence.
"Ok so troops whose brave enough to risk having to talk to them and wants to come and try to infiltrate the enemy camp."
I looked around for volunteers and only saw Mel getting pushed, ok tripped over by Bounce who whistled merrily
"Mel volunteers!" Jubilee said happily
"Ok Mel you're coming with me!" I announced with an evil grin spreading across my face thankfully she couldn't see it as it was so dark
All I heard was a faint gulp from her general direction.
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