Gothic: IÕm sooooo sorry! I am really evil. It was so bad of me. Really really really sorry! Anyways, this IS a H/C fic, so rest easy.
Me? Own Spirited Away? AS IF!
Waiting Ð Chapter 19
Haku felt his stomach tighten and his heart race as he stared at the doors. Those damn doors were keeping him from Chihiro. He shook his head, the movement making him feel giddy, the motion used to clear his mind from the thoughts that were taking over. He was so afraid that Yubaba might be tormenting her, and the images kept clouding over his mind. They kept tormenting him, and filling him with fear, and he bit his lip to keep himself from rushing in there. A small voice in his mind told him to stay, some small voice of fear kept protesting at him acting out against Yubaba. He could never tell where or what it came from, but whenever he had an urge to disobey her, this voice rose up from deep inside him and begged him to be silent and still.
He shut his eyes, the visions of Yubaba hurting Chihiro, whipping her until the blood ran freely over the floor, her hair flowing down over her wounded face and chest, her pale skin mingled with the blood from within. His heart trembled at the humiliation Chihiro would go through if Yubaba stripped her and placed her in a room with a few male workers where no one could hear her screams and cries. Just the thought made his knees weak and his heart pound faster. He felt his blood boil and the rage build up inside him, and he clenched his fists tighter, hoping to place a barrier between the ever building anger and himself.
He stood that way for what seemed like hours, a still silent figure, and a stone against the ever -rushing tides of time. He stood that way for quite some time until he realized that he was standing there alone. He was there in the now darkened hallway by himself, a small spider crawling up the wall his only companion. ::WasnÕt Kamajii here with me before? I could have sworn he was here with me. I know he was here. He wouldnÕt just walk away, so where did he go?:: His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and something tickled the back of his mind, telling him that something was amiss. He turned halfway around, his hands still clenched in tight fists, his posture that of royalty, and his eyes, now full of anger and worry began to scan the area. There were some drops on the floor near a door some feet away, but Haku brushed it away and concluded it was some workerÕs messy job. He would have to talk to the staff about being more careful. He sighed, and finally relaxed, his right hand going to his forehead to massage the tension away.
Everything was so confusing. Before Chihiro had come back, he had had a happy life with Rin. He was content with Rin, content with working for Yubaba. But that was it. He was just content. It was an ever-repeating circle, where nothing changed. Even their love life was simple. When he looked at Rin, there was not a single spark, no flame, no passion. Nothing worthwhile. Then Chihiro had come back. She fulfilled something he had lacked. There was adventure when he was around her, yes, and that was pleasing, but there was more. Every time he looked at her, his heart would expand to the point of breaking. He wanted to hold her forever in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to grab her, throw her down, and smother her with kisses. He wanted to look at her forever, and dote upon her. He wanted her to be happy, he wanted to be hers forever. He wanted. . . he wanted so much. He knew that he could never go back to the way things were with Rin, he knew even if he tried, Chihiro would always be the one for him. People had told him that he was haughty, and that the world didnÕt revolve around him, and he had to agree. His world revolved around Chihiro, and he knew she loved him. He couldnÕt explain it, and he didnÕt want to. He just knew that there was love on both parts, and they Ð
He cut himself off as he heard the doorknob twist and turn, and he saw Chihiro slowly step out of the office, a bored look in her eyes. She stopped as she came close to Haku, and an annoyed look crossed her face. He stepped forwards, concerned, and reached out for her hands as he leaned forward to whisper to her. ÒWhat did she want? Did she hurt you? What did she say? Are you alright?Ó
A shocked look fell on her face, and she stepped away from him hastily. In an outraged whisper, she began to yell, her voice full of anger. ÒJust what do you think you are doing?! Where you outside the door the whole time? Did you want to know what she said? Well, IÕll tell you, IÕve been promoted! To the same station as you! I canÕt believe she didnÕt fire you! I mean. . . youÕve been neglecting Rin, and your work! But IÕll be watching you! If you so much as dare try to . . .Ó
She trailed off and her eyes widened as Haku grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her fiercely on the mouth. He tightened his grip on her arms, and then stopped the kiss briefly to gaze in her eyes. Instead of the loving look he was used to, a surprised and angered expression was there. The hallway was quiet for another second, before he found himself shoved away by a furious Chihiro.
He didnÕt even remember most of her ranting. He just stood there, his face a heartbroken look, his mind protesting that this wasnÕt Chihiro, this couldnÕt be. Her face was harsh, her skin pale, her eyes hard and cold. This couldnÕt be the same girl that he had fallen in love with. It just couldnÕt be. His eyes bored straight into hers, and he watched as she shoved her hands on his chest and pushed him backwards, his head colliding with the pillar behind him. He watched as she ran away, and halfheartedly reached out a hand after her.
The only thing he heard from her that he remembered was the anguish-filled shout ÒI hate you!Ó that was uttered from her lips as she ran, and at that moment, his heart broke. He inhaled a shaky breath, and he felt his whole body shatter. He stood there, his heart pounding, his lips trembling, and he gulped the air. The shout echoed in his head, and he couldnÕt comprehend for the longest time that she hated him. The idea was impossible. ::But. . . I thought she loved me. I canÕt understand this. She hates me. She hates me. She hates me. . . ::
His eyes slowly traveled the length of the hallway, and stopped as he saw YubabaÕs door open, and he watched the contrast of the light sliding across the darkness, and he watched sullenly as he saw YubabaÕs silhouette form on the floor. A low cackle rose from her throat, and he started up in anger. He refused to believe that this was real; he refused to believe that this was happening. He knew the message that Yubaba was conveying. I have her now, Haku. She will never be yours, and you will never leave here. I have made sure of that.
Tears began to rise in his eyes, and rather than smash his pride, he turned and stalked off, trying hard to ignore the laughter behind him. He walked down the stairs, the surrounding area around him no longer noticeable. He only saw a blur of colors and voices, cruel things tormenting him of what had happened. His whole world had fallen, and he had nowhere left to go. He had to return to the way things were before. He would somehow get Chihiro back, he swore it on his love for her, but for now, he would have to pretend. He hated pretending, but it was for the best.
He turned a corner, and felt his walls crumble. He couldnÕt go on without her. She was his life, and he meant nothing without her. He loved her. His face began to fall, and tears began to flow down his cheeks. He stood there, his body forming a perfect posture of defeat and despair, his face the ideal mask of hopelessness, his hair covering the expression, giving him the final touch, the final thing needed to show that he was beyond happiness. He was the picture of tragedy, the picture of Romeo without his Juliet.
He didnÕt even notice when Rin came to him, and led him to their room, he didnÕt even notice when she began kissing him passionately, discarding her bloody clothes, the blood on her pink uniform adding a blush to his white. His eyes were dull, his actions mirroring hers, and let her do what she wanted. It didnÕt matter anymore. He had lost the very thing that had kept him alive. His heart felt a sharp pang at the idea, and his whole body felt the pain. It hurt too much to think about. He only knew that he felt dirty doing this. He felt like he was being raped, that he was being held here, making love to Rin against his will. He stared at nothing all through the night, while Rin slept against him, her hand around his waist. Finally, an hour before dawn, he closed his eyes, tears falling, and whispered a final, ÒI love you Chihiro, no matter what they say,Ó before he fell into a deep dream-less sleep.
Gothic: Awwww! So sad. T_T But donÕt worry. There WILL be love. Just not for the next chapter or so. I promise to update more. Who knows, I might just write the next chapter right after this. But I absolutely promise to update within the next week! I PROMISE!