Gothic: Waaaaah! IÕm sorry. I wanted to make sure this chapter was perfect but then I got sick and things were evil and hectic here for a bit. I swear I will try better. I hope you all stick with me.

Disclaimer: No No No NO!!!!!!!!!!! *sobs* I wish I did, but I donÕtÉ.

Waiting Ð Chapter 21

The sun was going down. The last blood-shot rays were sliding down the blackened sky. //Almost night,// the boy thought. He then shivered in the chill autumn air blowing through his slightly opened window. When night fell, he knew all darkness would come, and he would once again have the feelings he never wanted to feel.

He knew he could close the window. Reach out his hand and slide the window shut. But he pushed the idea out of his mind with a sort of blind obstinacy. The sight of happiness, even unattainable happiness, was too sweet to give up. The light reminded him of her. . . when he was around her, his whole world was light and happiness.

ÒNot yet,Ó he told himself, ÒOnly a little longer. Not yet.Ó He wanted the air that caressed his arms to continue, for it was the only affectionate touch he had left. His fingers traced over the scars on his arms, the results of Rin, and the love she gave. //Love? The word cannot apply. . .// The idea of love brought her back into his mind, and his heart began to crumble.

As he stood there, he didnÕt notice his ÒbelovedÓ wife come up behind him, and watch his slender fingers move over the scars. The man before her was ready to die. Ready to be taken by heartbreak and sorrow. She doubted he even loved her anymore. Haku lied. She believed the lie. She believed his love was true.

In his mind, Haku was alone.

He watched with greedy eyes as the sun became a half circle, faded into a glow silhouetting the restaurants, followed by the deep blue autumn twilight. Only then did he turn from the window and gaze sadly at Rin. He came forward and wrapped his arms around her slowly, feeling the old betrayal come forward again into his heart.

Kissing her gently on the lips, he moved silently away, and she watched as his shadow was highlighted by the glow of the roomÕs light as he opened and shut the door. //Almost like a ghost. ItÕs what heÕs become.//

Haku sat on the roof, just above Her room. His shoulders were against the tiled roof, his legs dangling, head thrown back, eyes closed. He waited silently for moonrise. The silver disc would be lifting itself above the trees now. Soon he would be illuminated in its light and he would try to remember. Only now would he allow himself to think about the kisses they shared, the love he saw in her eyes. Only then would he allow the tears to fall.

As his usually proud form allowed itself to slump in broken defeat, he heard the door to ChihiroÕs room slam open, a bang, and the door slide home. He heard the sound of footsteps, angered and quick, moving about the room with an occasional kick or stomp. His heart quickened as it always did when she was around, and he felt the intensity of her presence. When she was around, she was all he could focus on. When she was away, she was all he could think about. He heard a thump and a stifled moan as Chihiro moved, and he wished he could be beside her. He had to hold himself in with an iron will, and consented to the touch of the icy wind, the pleasure that couldnÕt exist without the sharp bite of pain.

He had almost dozed off when he heard her first muffled cry. It sounded like a mate all alone, a woman who had lost her man, who had lost the one she had truly loved. Like an abandoned creature that had been forced to let go of the one they love. Her sobs wafted through the thin ceiling and to his ears. He felt his heart break and he yearned to be with her.

It was a never-ending cycle. Either he was hurt, or she was. He knew the best thing to do would be to stay away from her, to never see her again, and ignore the stabbing pains in his heart. It would be the best to say he hated her, and despise her and show the world that Rin was his only lover.

But Haku couldnÕt do that. So the forbidden lovers wept together, together yet separated, one weeping for the love he remembered and lost, one for loving the man she despised. Both were thinking of the other, and both knew it was impossible. But they fell asleep dreaming of each other.

Gothic: I know, short. But next chapter thereÕs a confrontation and an attempted murder. Please bear with me. Gomen. I am very thankful for all your support. Well, IÕm starting a college course, so IÕll update as soon as I can (itÕs advanced lit so IÕll get a lot of good ideas!) and itÕll be good. Until then, my friends.