Title: The Unoriginal Story

Summary: Voldemort is Harry's Father, Snape has a daughter, and Draco is not a death-eater wannabe. Story of clichés. Is NOT stupid and pointless. HV/HG; DM/GW; RW/OC

Genre: Action/Adventure/Romance

Rating: PG-13

Major Characters: Harry Voldemort (Potter), Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Severus Snape, Crystaline Snape, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy.

Minor Characters: Cornelius Fudge, Narcissa Malfoy.

A/N: Takes place in Harry's fifth year.

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Ron's Point of View- Diagon Alley

Damn him, damn him, damn him. Why did dad have to ask Snape, of all people, over for dinner. SNAPE!!! I was actually looking forwards to that dinner. Now I have act civilly and act like I actually want him here. And whoever that girl is.

She made you look twice. Not because she was beautiful-she wasn't even pretty really-but because of the way she held herself. She had a sort of confidence that seemed like it would take nothing less than a large Californian earthquake to shake. She was sort of entrancing, once you actually saw her. Sort of like a vampire.

As Harry, Hermione, and I were finishing our shopping, Harry broke into my thoughts.

"Who is she, I wonder. You don't reckon…she's HIS kid. Snape's, I mean."

"I dunno. I mean," I cracked a grin, "who'd want to fuck Snape?" the mental picture was just too humorous. I burst out laughing.

Harry joined in quickly. Hermione, on the other hand, pursed her lips and began to reprimand us about not acting our age and how teachers, even Snape, deserved respect. As usual.

Still Ron's Point of View- later that day

Half a bloody hour is not nearly long enough to live. Alas for me, however, for that is how long I have to live. Ok, I'm really beginning to sound like those muggle shows Harry told me his aunt watches…soaps? Ah well.

Dad said that the girl with Snape is Crystaline. Crystaline Snape. Yes, she is his daughter, no, she is not a vampire, and that she had been staying at the college of wizards for seven years. I hope that Percy doesn't hear that last bit. He's doing a report on the college, and would love to have a first hand account. Gods help us.

Mum's calling me. NO!!! I'm too young to die!!! I haven't even made out my will yet! Maybe it's just a good thing, though. I can just see it-I, Ronald Weasley do leave all my stuff to my little sister, Ginny or my best friend, Harry Potter. They can fight it out. Bit stupid, really. Oh no. Snape's here. With his daughter. Ugh. She doesn't look real happy to be here. Well good. I don't want her here either.

Uh-oh. Mum's giving me the death glare.

"Hi. My name's Ron."

"Crystaline Snape," she said, sounding bored. She spoke in a kind of distant voice. It was deeper than I had expected, and it seemed to resonate through me. Gods. She's so entrancing.

"Hi! My name's Ginny," my sister butted in.

"Hello."

"What year are you in?"

"Fifth."

"Cool. Any way, mum says for you three that supper's ready. We'll be eating outside. Ron, could you show them?"

"Sure," I said, sighing. "Follow me." I knew I sounded sulky, but I couldn't help it. As we got outside, my spirits couldn't help but lift. Mum had gone full out and had fixed a delicious feast fit for a king.

As I sat down next to Harry and Hermione, I couldn't help but notice how thin the girl was. Her clothes hung more loosely on her than any of Dudley's old thing had on Harry. It was rather sickening.

Harry and Hermione were in deep conversation, as usual. They were as close to inseperable as one could get without putting paste on their hands. Or lips. At least they always try to include me in their plans. When they started to go out I was a bit worried that they would leave me out, but it wasn't the case. I have the best friends.

With absolutely nothing to do, I looked over at Crystaline again. She had her arms folded across her chest, almost exactly like a vampire, and was looking rather bored. Ginny sat down next to her and tried to get a conversation going. 'Tried' being the key word.

"What's your favorite subject?"

"Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Do you play Quiditch?"

"No."

"Do you follow it?"

"No."

"How can you not follow Quidditch," I interupted. I don't know why I asked. I was just so startled. "It's the best sport in the universe."

"That is a matter of opinion. I don't particularly care for it because I do not find it interesting," she snapped. I simply stared at her, open-mouthed.

Finally, mum came out of the house and told us to dig in, allowing me to realize that I was staring like a stranded goldfish at Snape's kid.

The dinner was delicious. Harry, Hermione, and I went full out in stuffing ourselves. Crystaline Snape took it a bit slower, but also heaped her plate. Snape and my father were in a deep argument about Quidditch. Funny, I never thought of professor Snape as a Quidditch fanatic like dad. Just not…Snapeish enough. Amazing the thing one learns outside of school.

I didn't look at Crystaline again until halfway through dessert. She was in the process of eating a slice of chocolate cake, but she must have felt my eyes on her, because she looked up and stared back. I got the message that she wanted to be left alone.

After dinner, Snape and Crystaline left. Dad wanted them to come again before the summer was over, but Snape said that they were going to be busy. There is a god.

~*!*~

Crystaline Snape, Creator of Chaos, signing off.