Author's Note: This is my first fan fiction, so be nice and PLEASE give me
a review of the story. I can take very heavy criticisms so don't hesitate
to say how to *fix* the story a little bit.
~~~
It was early in the dawn. Eowyn woke up from her soft bed. She rubbed her tired gray eyes and looked over the low hills that surrounded Edoras. She got off the bed and washed herself. When she stepped into the icy water, she yelped.
For a second, Eowyn wondered why the water wasn't heated, and then she grimaced. Normally, there would be hot water bath heated by the servants. But ever since Wormtongue poisoned the mind of her uncle, the king, Edoras wasn't equipped, nor taken care of properly. The servants were all dismissed, and those who were loyal to Rohan were banished.
She wondered what would've happened if Wormtongue never appeared. Her brother would still be in the court, and King Theoden would protect Rohan from Saruman, not letting them passes onto their field. Her cousin, Theodred, would still be alive. Her eyes welled up at the thought of his death only a night ago.
It was in the afternoon. The Riders raced into the gates of Edoras, and Eomer, their leader, rode in with a corpse of a young man in front of him. They all dismounted and carried the body away into Edoras.
Watching the scene, Eowyn quickly followed the men into the hall. She hesitated for a second when she came to the door of the room that Theodred was lying in. She didn't want to see what finally happened. When she decided to go in, her brother came out, his face paler and eyes empty.
"Who was it?" asked Eowyn.
Eomer noticed his sister standing there, confused and worried. A moment of silence passed between them.
"Orcs attacked the border that Prince Theodred's group were guarding," replied Eomer. When my Riders found Theodred's soldiers, they were nearly defeated. We rescued Theodred, but he was badly wounded. He got shot by two arrows, and got slashed deeply on the stomach and the chest."
He paused, wondering whether he should go on or not.
It took a while for Eowyn to understand what happened during the battle and how seriously her cousin was injured. When she recovered from the shock, she immediately burst into the room. There, she found Theodred lying on the bed, breathing shallowly, blood staining the cloth.
"Theodred, Theodred!" cried Eowyn.
She thought she would go mad if Theodred dies. She remembered the times Theodred taught her how to use a sword, and how to use arrows.
Hearing his cousin's voice, He managed to turn his face. He tried to lift his head, but he had no strength left. Theodred closed his eyes, and fell back into the pillow. The last thing he remembered was the soft sobbing sound of his two cousins.
Eowyn angrily wiped the tears away. Dead is dead. Theodred fought, and he died gallantly in a battle. And I sit at home, looking at my kingdom wither and disappear. She didn't want to watch. She should be out there, fighting among the Riders, not sitting in a chair and watch that snake poison her King's mind.
"King? Wormtongue poisons his mind every day with his foul tongue. King Theodred doesn't know what is happening outside Edoras. Well, soon he'll have no mind at all. That's when the house of Eorl will fall."
Eowyn remembered what one of the guards saying this long time ago. She thought it was a lie at that time. But it became true. Her uncle didn't recognize anyone anymore. Except that is, Grima. Eowyn felt miserable. I'm supposed to be a shieldmaiden of Rohan, not a nurse who looks after the old king.
"I should've left with Eomer when he was banished," she muttered this for a thousandth time. But with this, another painful memory stabbed her heart.
~~~
There, my first chapter. I don't care if you say this story sucks. Just tell me how to fix that and I won't go crying all over the place. So please review!!!
~~~
It was early in the dawn. Eowyn woke up from her soft bed. She rubbed her tired gray eyes and looked over the low hills that surrounded Edoras. She got off the bed and washed herself. When she stepped into the icy water, she yelped.
For a second, Eowyn wondered why the water wasn't heated, and then she grimaced. Normally, there would be hot water bath heated by the servants. But ever since Wormtongue poisoned the mind of her uncle, the king, Edoras wasn't equipped, nor taken care of properly. The servants were all dismissed, and those who were loyal to Rohan were banished.
She wondered what would've happened if Wormtongue never appeared. Her brother would still be in the court, and King Theoden would protect Rohan from Saruman, not letting them passes onto their field. Her cousin, Theodred, would still be alive. Her eyes welled up at the thought of his death only a night ago.
It was in the afternoon. The Riders raced into the gates of Edoras, and Eomer, their leader, rode in with a corpse of a young man in front of him. They all dismounted and carried the body away into Edoras.
Watching the scene, Eowyn quickly followed the men into the hall. She hesitated for a second when she came to the door of the room that Theodred was lying in. She didn't want to see what finally happened. When she decided to go in, her brother came out, his face paler and eyes empty.
"Who was it?" asked Eowyn.
Eomer noticed his sister standing there, confused and worried. A moment of silence passed between them.
"Orcs attacked the border that Prince Theodred's group were guarding," replied Eomer. When my Riders found Theodred's soldiers, they were nearly defeated. We rescued Theodred, but he was badly wounded. He got shot by two arrows, and got slashed deeply on the stomach and the chest."
He paused, wondering whether he should go on or not.
It took a while for Eowyn to understand what happened during the battle and how seriously her cousin was injured. When she recovered from the shock, she immediately burst into the room. There, she found Theodred lying on the bed, breathing shallowly, blood staining the cloth.
"Theodred, Theodred!" cried Eowyn.
She thought she would go mad if Theodred dies. She remembered the times Theodred taught her how to use a sword, and how to use arrows.
Hearing his cousin's voice, He managed to turn his face. He tried to lift his head, but he had no strength left. Theodred closed his eyes, and fell back into the pillow. The last thing he remembered was the soft sobbing sound of his two cousins.
Eowyn angrily wiped the tears away. Dead is dead. Theodred fought, and he died gallantly in a battle. And I sit at home, looking at my kingdom wither and disappear. She didn't want to watch. She should be out there, fighting among the Riders, not sitting in a chair and watch that snake poison her King's mind.
"King? Wormtongue poisons his mind every day with his foul tongue. King Theodred doesn't know what is happening outside Edoras. Well, soon he'll have no mind at all. That's when the house of Eorl will fall."
Eowyn remembered what one of the guards saying this long time ago. She thought it was a lie at that time. But it became true. Her uncle didn't recognize anyone anymore. Except that is, Grima. Eowyn felt miserable. I'm supposed to be a shieldmaiden of Rohan, not a nurse who looks after the old king.
"I should've left with Eomer when he was banished," she muttered this for a thousandth time. But with this, another painful memory stabbed her heart.
~~~
There, my first chapter. I don't care if you say this story sucks. Just tell me how to fix that and I won't go crying all over the place. So please review!!!