Dear Diary,
Another day of a life with no meaning, I often wonder why God allows me to
wake. I am a waste of air. I am God's first and only mistake. Everyday
is a struggle to convince myself to live because I am a loser, no life no
purpose. I would kill myself but I am to cowardly to go through with it
because what if death is worse than my hellish life.
I often imagine myself waking up in another world where no knows me and I can be whatever I want. I imagine myself happy. Happiness is something that has eluded me my whole life. Love does not existence; love is something that Walt Disney concocted for fairytales.
I must end this entry some because it is time for my nightly viewing of The Lord of the Rings. I only watch the movie because of the elves. Legolas and Haldir are so fine. I think I have a problem because real men do not interest only fictional elves. I have issues because I am in love with a book character. Reasons why I love Legolas: Legolas is hot. Legolas is a single prince.
I cannot decide who I like best Haldir or Legolas. Reasons why I love Haldir: Haldir has a great body. Haldir is the embodiment of masculinity.
Good Night Diary
3 hours later.........
I fall exhausted into bed and hope for sweet dreams of tall, strong, and beautiful elves. Tomorrow is my 25th birthday and I am a complete failure because I live with my parents, have no car, unemployed, no sex life, and I flunked out of college. I really have a bright future and some much to live for.
I cannot sleep so I gaze out of my window and contemplate my life and suddenly I see a fallen star and I make a wish. I wished the wish of all the lonely hearts happiness and love. I foolish wished to wake up in Middle Earth so I could meet Legolas and Haldir. I know that wish will not come true so I get back in bed and wait to wake up to my depressing life.
I toss and turn through out the night and I find no solace and suddenly I wake to the most beautiful voice. I do not understand the voice but I open my eyes and see... no it cannot be..an elf. I need to stop watching Lord of the Rings before bed. I try to close my eyes to sleep again but I hear that voice again. So it has finally happened I have lost my mind , I reach for my blanket but there is nothing. I slowly realize that my bed feels rocky and hard and smells like fresh morning dew.
I slowly realize that I am not dreaming and I am lying in a forest wearing a pair of leopard print thongs and the matching camisole. If you are wondering, I am a lingerie freak. I open my eyes to find twelve elf warriors looking at me. I must have been a sight. I am not ashamed of my body because honestly I am pretty hot. I am 5'7 with long black hair basically I look very exotic. I silently pray that I do not have morning breath.
I look around at the scenery and I see trees that look like skyscraper but the have the most beautiful silver trunks and golden leaves. I think I am in Lothlorien. Then something happens that makes my heart start fluttering, I gorgeous platnuim blond elf comes my way. He must the one in charge because he says something to the other eleven warriors and they quickly disperse. First, he speaks in Elvish to me but I do not follow then he switches to the Common Tongue which sounds kindy like English. I barely understand him. He tells me he is Haldir and he asks who I am and why have I trespassed into the golden wood. I tell him my name is Jade and that I am not sure how I got here. He tells me I can not leave and that I am his prisoner until we reach the city. Based on my knowledge of Middle Earth I figure that I must go before Galadriel and Celeborn.
Haldir tells me to stand he ties my hands together and ties something like a leash around my waist. He roughly drags me after him. Keep in mind that I am still in my underwear, I have never felt so cheap in my life. I could feel those elves looking at my butt and occasionally a stray hand would brush against my breast or butt. Great I am being lead by an elf on a leash half naked through the woods.
Finally around sunset we stop and make camp for the night. I was still tied up but at least they did offer me some water and lembas.
I often imagine myself waking up in another world where no knows me and I can be whatever I want. I imagine myself happy. Happiness is something that has eluded me my whole life. Love does not existence; love is something that Walt Disney concocted for fairytales.
I must end this entry some because it is time for my nightly viewing of The Lord of the Rings. I only watch the movie because of the elves. Legolas and Haldir are so fine. I think I have a problem because real men do not interest only fictional elves. I have issues because I am in love with a book character. Reasons why I love Legolas: Legolas is hot. Legolas is a single prince.
I cannot decide who I like best Haldir or Legolas. Reasons why I love Haldir: Haldir has a great body. Haldir is the embodiment of masculinity.
Good Night Diary
3 hours later.........
I fall exhausted into bed and hope for sweet dreams of tall, strong, and beautiful elves. Tomorrow is my 25th birthday and I am a complete failure because I live with my parents, have no car, unemployed, no sex life, and I flunked out of college. I really have a bright future and some much to live for.
I cannot sleep so I gaze out of my window and contemplate my life and suddenly I see a fallen star and I make a wish. I wished the wish of all the lonely hearts happiness and love. I foolish wished to wake up in Middle Earth so I could meet Legolas and Haldir. I know that wish will not come true so I get back in bed and wait to wake up to my depressing life.
I toss and turn through out the night and I find no solace and suddenly I wake to the most beautiful voice. I do not understand the voice but I open my eyes and see... no it cannot be..an elf. I need to stop watching Lord of the Rings before bed. I try to close my eyes to sleep again but I hear that voice again. So it has finally happened I have lost my mind , I reach for my blanket but there is nothing. I slowly realize that my bed feels rocky and hard and smells like fresh morning dew.
I slowly realize that I am not dreaming and I am lying in a forest wearing a pair of leopard print thongs and the matching camisole. If you are wondering, I am a lingerie freak. I open my eyes to find twelve elf warriors looking at me. I must have been a sight. I am not ashamed of my body because honestly I am pretty hot. I am 5'7 with long black hair basically I look very exotic. I silently pray that I do not have morning breath.
I look around at the scenery and I see trees that look like skyscraper but the have the most beautiful silver trunks and golden leaves. I think I am in Lothlorien. Then something happens that makes my heart start fluttering, I gorgeous platnuim blond elf comes my way. He must the one in charge because he says something to the other eleven warriors and they quickly disperse. First, he speaks in Elvish to me but I do not follow then he switches to the Common Tongue which sounds kindy like English. I barely understand him. He tells me he is Haldir and he asks who I am and why have I trespassed into the golden wood. I tell him my name is Jade and that I am not sure how I got here. He tells me I can not leave and that I am his prisoner until we reach the city. Based on my knowledge of Middle Earth I figure that I must go before Galadriel and Celeborn.
Haldir tells me to stand he ties my hands together and ties something like a leash around my waist. He roughly drags me after him. Keep in mind that I am still in my underwear, I have never felt so cheap in my life. I could feel those elves looking at my butt and occasionally a stray hand would brush against my breast or butt. Great I am being lead by an elf on a leash half naked through the woods.
Finally around sunset we stop and make camp for the night. I was still tied up but at least they did offer me some water and lembas.