Title: The Unoriginal Story

Summary: Voldemort is Harry's Father, Snape has a daughter, and Draco is not a death-eater wannabe. Story of clichés. Is NOT stupid and pointless. HV/HG; DM/GW; RW/OC

Genre: Action/Adventure/Romance

Rating: PG-13

Major Characters: Harry Voldemort (Potter), Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Severus Snape, Crystaline Snape, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Ginny Weasley.

Minor Characters: Cornelius Fudge, Narcissa Malfoy.

A/N: Takes place in Harry's fifth year. Oh, and Juliana Black, shut up about the Tybalt and Bob show, or I shall be forced to murder you. Remember: I have swords, daggars, and a bow and arrow at my disposal, and lots of woods to hide bodies.

~*!*~

Crystaline's Point of View

"You'll find out. Did you finish shopping?"

"Almost."

"Almost?"

"I saw this shop that I really wanted to go into, but I didn't have enough time to go in. Can I go?"

"Which shop?"

"Hebert Candies."

"That's a sweet shop! Crystaline, you are worse than your mother was!"

"I know, I know, but still. Please. I like sweets! I need sweets! Pleeeeeeeeease!!!"

"Fine," he sighed. I grinned, knowing that I had won, gathered up my bags, and skipped off in the direction of the store. Dad shook his head and followed. I noticed that he did not skip. When I reached the shop, I was in heaven. Sweets of every kind, mounded to the ceiling. I bought a pound of rocky road fudge, runts (A/N: Runts are fruit shaped candies), and a big chunk of almond bark. Dad looked at me, amused, and helped himself to piece of fudge.

"So, what did you get?" I asked again.

"You'll find out later," dad said, grinning.

Still Crystaline's Point of View-later at the Snape Manor

When dad went back into his study, I took out my clothes along with a small basket. In the basket were a couple of sewing needles and a great deal of brightly colored thread. I always kept a sewing basket handy to spruce up my hand-me downs.

I took out my black vampire shirt, a needle, and some silver metallic thread. I gave the shirt a silver trim on the sleeves, neck, and bottom. When done, I took out a pair of my black jeans and gave them a red trim on the seams. When I put down my jeans, I flexed my fingers and stretched. It had taken about two hours all together, but it was worth it.

I put them on and decided to show dad. When I got to the door of dad's study, I could hear a muffled noise coming from inside. I knocked.

"Just a moment!" there was a lot more shuffling, and the door opened.

"Crystaline!" dad was shocked. "What are you wearing?!"

"Clothes," I said, grinning.

"And you expect to be let out of the house in that?!"

"Well, you could just make me stay in your study."

"NO! What do you think me, crazy?!"

"Well, um."

"That was rhetorical," dad said, glaring.

"Oh. What is wrong with my outfit? It does not show anything it should not. and in answer to you question, yes. I not only expect to be let out of the house, but I expect to go to class in these."

"You have to be kidding."

"Father dearest, I happen to be related you. That pretty much means that I cannot joke." Dad gave me a death glare.

"What did you get today?"

"You'll find out later."

"No!" I whined. "I want to know now! I wanna know now! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" I started sobbing very dramatically.

"LATER."

I pouted, and, realizing that it was getting me no where, turned dad's hair lavender with green highlights. "Crystaline, what did you just do?"

"Nothing," I lied insincerely.

"Right. And I'm King Richard III."

"His majesty reveals himself at last." I said dryly. Dad walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall.

"Crystal, I am going to kill you."

"Oh?"

"I would suggest running."

"Oh, ok. Thanks."

Still Crystaline's Point of View-two weeks later

I woke up on August 31 with a dazed feeling that something special was today, but I could not begin to guess what that 'something' was. When I was walking down to breakfast, I was so intent on thinking what 'something' was that I was not watching where I was going. I bumped into a tall woman with brown hair and black eyes.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"It's ok! You must be Crystaline. Sev told me all about you."

"Sev?"

"Your dad? Remember him? Greasy-haired, hook-nosed old bat. He's my brother."

"So…you are my aunt? Sorry, I'm a bit slow right now. Just woke up."

"Understood. I hate mornings too. I'm your aunt Kali."

"Kali, Crystal, you might want to get in the dinning hall if you want some breakfast while it's warm. Kali, none of your funny business now. You might corrupt Crystaline." The last bit was spoken more in jest than anything else.

"I am already corrupted! And bloody proud of it!" Kali had a crooked smile on her face, not unlike the smile that dad often wore. It was rather frightening. "Dad, why didn't you tell me that I had other relatives?"

"I thought it obvious. I didn't exactly pop up out of the ground, you know. Besides, I knew we would be having another get together this summer. Yes, there is a gathering today, and yes, you are expected to attend.

"But I have so much homework to do!"

"No you don't. You finished it yesterday."

"All right, all right. Is it going to be boring?"

"You are talking about the Snape family. Last time we got together, there were three fights. No, I had no part in them other than breaking up the first two. This time I don't think I'm even going to bother."

"Mm," Kali responded, not really paying attention. "Let's get to breakfast, shall we?" We set off towards the dining hall, me trying to keep up with my dad and aunt's strides. On the table were numerous packages in gift-wrap. Flora and Dennis (another elf) were standing by the table with huge birthday cake with fifteen candles on it. Flora, Dennis, Dad, and Aunt Kali started singing:

Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Birthday dear Crystaline,

Happy Birthday to you.

Or, in Aunt Kali's case,

Happy Birthday to you

You belong in a zoo.

You look like a monkey,

And you smell like one too.

"I totally forgot!"

"How could you forget your birthday? It's the day before you start school! Aren't you excited?"

"The day that Hogwarts meets its demise," I heard dad mutter. I glared at him and reached for the closest present, but he snatched it away. "Oh no, you don't. you're going to open gifts at the family get together today. No, not even one. And you have to wait for your cake, too."

"No fair! No fair, no fair, no fair!"

"Then hurry up and eat. Then we can get going." I pouted and turned my attention to the bacon in front of me.

Still Crystaline's Point of View-later

Dad lied. We couldn't get going right after breakfast. First, dad needed to fill me in on my family, the gathering, and a great number of other things. Aunt Kali wasn't much of a help. She kept going off on tangents and making really corny jokes. Dad finally told her to shut up and explained everything himself.

"Crystal, when you are introduced to your grandparents, please act polite and pleased to see them. Even if you're not, fake it sincerely. They're not very nice, but they can make your life a living hell if they take a dislike to you.

"Your cousins, Tybalt and Bob are all right when they are sober, but when they're drunk-watch out. They are the ones who started the fights last time.

"Marie is another one of your cousins. She is rather quiet, but nice. Watch out for her fiancée, George, though. He's a practical joker and would laugh if Voldemort walked in pink. You should get along fine with him. Just don't burn down the pub!"

"Pub?"

"It is where we meet. It's called the Dancing Stars and is in Soireville, Romania."

"Uh, Soireville?" I had heard a lot of Soireville from my History of Magic book. The town was home to all sorts of magical beings-werewolves, vampires, leprechauns, and others of a less decent sort.

"Yes. Marie's ¼ vampire."

"Oh. It's on the vampire side of town, then?"

"No. It's right in the center. The Dancing Stars is just about the only public local building able and willing to hold all of us."

"Why aren't others willing?"

"Our family is…rowdy at best. Kali and I are normal compared to the rest of them. I don't remember a gathering when there hasn't been a fight."

"Oh."

"Now that I've warned you about all of the normal relatives, get changed."

"Thanks!" I said, and ran off to change.

Crystaline's Point of View-The Dancing Stars

Soireville was a fairly small town, that compared to its reputation, was very quaint and charming. The pub was a large, bright, noisy place with hard wood tables and chairs. The right side of the wall was lined with Snapes. Some had dad's hair, some Kali's. Some were pale or black- eyed. All were definitely related to me.

One man, tall with brown eyes and black hair came over and punched dad lightly on the shoulder in greeting. Dad punched him back and introduced him as Tybalt. Another man who looked exactly like Tybalt came over and introduced himself as Bob. Marie and her fiance came over and said hi. Bob and Tybalt decided that I was being far too quiet. Both lept onto one of the tables, and Bob began to shout over the din everyone else was making.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, let me introduce my little cousin…Crystaline!!! Get up here, brat." The last was directed at me, seeing as I was sticking to the shadows. Tybalt and Bob jumped down and proceeded to *try* to get me out into the light. Finally they gave up and brought the light over to me.

Tybalt then procured a microphoned and proceeded to try to interview me.

"So, Crystaline. How are you today?"

"I *was* just fine."

"Was? What happened? Is my little cousin going to be alright?" he asked with mock concern.

"Yes," I replied shortly.

"Do you like to be known as Cryssy?"

To that, I grabbed the Microphone and destroyed it. "Answer your question?" I asked sweetly.

"Um, yes."

"Good. Any more questions?"

"No."

"Good. Good day," and I left the light.

~*!*~

After I ducked out of the interview, Tybalt and Bob tried to get me to 'be sociable and happy and normal'. They weren't having much success. Tybalt was beginning to get annoyed.

"Damn it Crystaline. Can't you get out of the bloody shadows for a moment? I want to introduce you to someone. One of your cousins. She is about your age."

"Fine, but any funny bussiness and you'll be hanging by your thumbs and screaming for mercy by dawn."

"Yes, of course, my lady. I would do nothing to earn your wrath." Tybalt said sarcasticly.

"Good."

Tybalt dragged me across the room next to a small corner where a group of girls, all about my age, were standing around, chatting to each other. They were all centered around one girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, who was very graceful and obviously the leader.

As Tybalt and I aproached the gang, the center girl looked up and walked on over to us.

"Hey Tybalt, hello Crystaline. How are you today?" her voice sounded as if it were fake and up close you could see that her perfect complexion was only due to excessive amounts of make-up. It was rather disgusting, really. You could see where exactly she had make-up on, and where she didn't, and it wasn't because of the coloration. You could litterally see the difference in depth of the cosmetics.

"Fine. As you've heard, this is Crystaline, and I was wondering if you would show her around and introduce her."

"Sure, come on Crystaline." With that, she led me over to her group and started a round of introductions.

~~~!!!~~~

Kerry Leprechaun: Thanks! It won't be very unoriginal after I get Crystaline in Hogwarts and all.

KittyKat589: Yay! You like Crystal! Don't cry, here's the chapter.

Antigon Q: Okay, thank you, thank you, thank you. I will try to not switch POVs so often.

LOOKING FOR BETA-READER!!! E-mail me at graceskits@yahoo.com.

Please R/R, especially if you have constructive critism.

~*!Crystaline Snape, Creator of Chaos, signing off!*~