~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Standard Disclaimers apply.
Some smut content.
thoughts
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Definitions
Battousi - literally it means "the un-drawn sword," but as Kenshin's hitokiri nickname, it means that he is a master at drawing his sword. Kenshin's fighting style has many moves that start with the sword in the sheath and since he can draw his sword faster than anyone else, he is known as the "master of the un-drawn sword."
futon - the padding the Japanese lay on the floor that serves as a bed
gi - a man's shirt, Kenshin wears this and so does Kaoru when she is practicing sword fighting
hakama - a man's pants, also worn by Kenshin all the time and by Kaoru when she practices sword fighting
hitokiri - a killer or an assassin
Kaoru-dono - an old fashioned Japanese way of adding a respectable title to a person's name, English equivalent would be Miss Kaoru
rurouni - Watsuki-sama's unique word, derived from the Japanese word for wanderer, "ronin"
rurouni smile - I have used this to describe the smile Kenshin uses often when he is not sure how to react or wishes to hid his feelings
sama - an honorific attached to a name to signify a greater rank, means "lord" or "master"
uncouth - ignorant of social customs, acting outside the rules of polite society
Watsuki-sama - creator of Rurouni Kenshin
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 1: Gentle Goodnight
The candle flickered and died. Kaoru sighed, fumbled with the matches, then gave up on lighting the candle. It was late, and no matter how much she totaled up the numbers, the budget would not balance. Awkwardly she got to her feet, her muscles sore and her movements stiff.
Perhaps a lap around the grounds will loosen me up, Kaoru thought.
She pulled on a shawl and stepped out into the moonlight. She yawned and stretched, the cool air misting with her warm breath.
A slight movement from the steps alerted her to Kenshin's presence.
I wonder what he's doing out at this time of night? she thought as she stopped beside him.
There was a moment of silence, then he spoke.
"The stars are brilliant tonight, aren't they Kaoru-dono?"
She settled beside him, taking a moment to study his profile before she lifted her eyes to the sky. "Yes. They look like tiny fire flies."
He turned to her then, and she could see the companionable grin on his face. Some of the tension between her shoulder blades eased as she realized that her company was welcome.
A shadow chased its way over his face as an owl winged silently overhead. They both looked up, but Kaoru studied Kenshin out of the corner of her eye.
A shadowed man, she realized. Someone haunted by a mysterious past I still don't understand.
Her thoughts grew pensive as she puzzled over what she knew of Kenshin and what she didn't.
She received a mild shock as Kenshin placed a cool palm on her forehead.
"Do you have a headache, Kaoru-dono? I know you have been balancing the books again," he voiced sincerely.
Immediately her thoughts returned to the present when she heard the concern in his voice. A tired smile tugged at her lips as she leaned into Kenshin's hand. She felt a pang of regret when he removed it.
"I'm just tired, Ken-shin." Her last statement was punctuated by a yawn and his name slipped off of her lips with more of an accent than she intended.
"You should--" Kenshin started, intending to send her off to bed. Her fingers on his lips stopped him from saying more.
"The cold air clears my head. Otherwise the numbers will invade my dreams," Kaoru replied.
She removed her fingers, only to flutter them over her mouth as she yawned again. As she finished the yawn, she patted her closed lips, not realizing that his gaze followed her fingertips' path with interest.
She eyed him with sudden clarity. He was wearing only his favorite old gi and hakama.
"Aren't you cold?" she asked sleepily.
He flashed her a rurouni smile. "Not really, Kaoru-dono."
"Oh." She sighed unwittingly as her head drooped onto his shoulder. "Well I am."
A soft chuckle came from Kenshin.
"Perhaps you should go inside where it is warm," he commented. But his hand found her shoulder and pulled her close enough to share the warmth of his body, belying his earlier words.
"Mmmm," she murmured appreciatively as she snuggled into his side.
Hip to hip, they sat in silence for a while, Kenshin's warm breath stirring the soft hairs that had come loose from her ponytail.
She breathed in his scent, memorizing it even as it comforted her. A strand of red tickled her cheek, and she took it between her thumb and forefinger, playing with it. She hadn't realized that his hair was down, but now she watched in fascination as the moonlight lit traces of dark fire on his hair as it slipped between her fingers.
"Kenshin," she paused, then hesitantly continued. "You may call me Kaoru if you want."
There was a breathless moment when Kenshin became unnaturally still. Then he shifted slightly, his movements gentle as his arm cradled her back and his hand came to rest on her waist.
"Thank you," he said simply.
She smiled into the night. "Welcome."
Another long silence followed as small clouds rolled across the face of the moon, their movement followed by two pairs of eyes.
She gave a small sigh of contentment, the vapor from her breath drifting away into the stillness.
Kenshin stirred, and Kaoru eased away from him reluctantly.
"You should be getting to bed, Kaoru-dono," he said as he stood, stepping onto the porch and offering her his hand.
Another sigh escaped her lips, this one tinged with regret, as she allowed him to pull her to her feet and herd her inside. He opened her door for her, then paused expectantly. She stepped away from the opening, distancing herself from the parting it represented.
"Would you like some hot tea, Kenshin? I'll even let you make it so it tastes good," she joked, her tone hopeful.
A shake of his head accompanied by another rurouni smile, this one just a little worn. "Good night Kaoru-dono." He spoke with a soft reprimand and turned to leave.
She didn't want him to go; didn't want the time alone together to end, so she seized his hand with the vague intention of getting him to stay.
"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin voiced, a question in his tone.
Her mind struggled to come up with a reason, and she blurted the first thing that came to mind.
"Are you going back outside?"
He paused then answered. "I might," he admitted truthfully.
Stronger conviction coupled with groggy confusion. "Don't you need sleep?"
"Only a little. I find the night sky peaceful," he answered again.
Dawning clarity, a sharper need to take care of Kenshin, a deeper yearning to share something meaningful with him. Her grip on his hand tightened.
"I'm not going to bed without you," she declared, then blushed when they both realized the implications of her words.
Her gaze dropped as his came up to search her face. He sensed the awkwardness of the moment and sought to find a neutral subject. But before he could speak she plunged on ahead.
"Will you tuck me in, Kenshin?" she asked, stammering between words.
His composure slipped, revealing shock, surprise, and disbelief. He struggled to keep his voice unaffected as he started to refuse.
She saw his intent in his eyes and knew that no less than the truth would keep him beside her.
"Father--Father died before I was ready to be grown up." The glitch in her voice was genuine and his protest died instantly.
His eyes searched the vulnerable sincerity of her blue ones for a moment, then glanced away.
"All right, Kaoru--" he started to say with a sigh of defeat.
Her fingers stilled his lips again.
"Just Kaoru," she corrected him. She kept a firm grip on his hand as she preceded him into the room. He shut the door, plunging the room into darkness. They both paused a moment to let their eyes adjust to the muted tones of gray inside the room. When she felt confident that she could move without hitting anything, she dropped his hand and ventured over to the trunk that held her clothes. Her hands busied themselves with opening the lid, but she paused before pulling anything out, glancing at Kenshin indecisively.
"What is it?" he whispered, wishing that she would give in to her nervousness and send him away.
"I need to change. Will you turn around?" She held up the sleeping robe expectantly.
With a sigh he complied, the rustle of fabric bringing to mind erotic images of her. When she gave him permission to turn around, he did so slowly, wanting to make sure she had plenty of time to settle herself under the blankets. But to his surprise, she was sitting cross-legged on the futon, her nimble fingers twisting her hair into a braid.
There were other places he wanted her capable fingers to be, and the fact that her robe was showing entirely too much of her long, slender legs did nothing to lessen his uncomfortable situation.
"Kenshin?" she asked, with her mouth doing that cute puzzled frown he had always liked and her eyes regarding him with affection and innocent trust.
"Shall I tuck you in?" he asked quietly.
She slid her feet under the covers and turned to her side, nodding her consent.
He noticed the way the robe gapped open to reveal the sweet curve of her youthful breast, but his fingers never touched her body as he pulled the blankets up to her chin. He swept the bangs away from her forehead and deposited a kiss there, much as he imagined her father would have. When he leaned back, her eyes were round with awe and adoration. Her mouth was ripe for plundering as her lips made a silent "O." But he merely smiled and brushed her cheek with his knuckles before getting up and heading towards the door.
"Kenshin?" she asked tentatively.
His hands fisted, then relaxed as he fought against the compulsion to ravish her soundly. He walked back to her side, his glare boring into hers.
Would the flicker of yellow in my gaze betray me? he wondered.
His hands itched to stroke the pale skin of her vulnerable neck and slender shoulder. And where his hands went, his mouth would follow, branding her as his.
Another cute frown, to which he responded with a rurouni smile. He knelt beside her, his eyes silently worshiping her in the concealing darkness.
"Yes?" he asked, his voice perfect and neutral.
"Would you tell me a story?" she asked, seeking to stall his departure.
He sighed patiently then situated himself on the floor. "Of course, Kaoru-dono."
Anything for you, he thought to himself. As much as it hurt to deny himself the right to claim her, it also satisfied him immensely to love her. She who had stirred a heart he thought dead after Tomoe and to whom he responded in other, more earthly ways.
"What would you like to hear?" His voice was quiet, losing its strained edge.
Her eyelids flickered as she gazed up at him. A lazy, contented smile drifted across her face and he could not help but wonder if she would wear a similar smile after a long night of lovemaking.
"Tell me one of your favorites, Kenshin," she replied at last.
His mind struggled to function with his rising sexual interest. It had been a long time after all, and Kaoru was regarding him with that expectant glare he always longed to wipe away with kisses.
"One of my favorites…" He stalled, as if musing over which story to tell.
Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully, as if doubting the direction of his thoughts, but there was nothing on his face to give him away, so she gave up with a sigh.
"Have you ever heard the one about the grasshopper and the ant?" he queried her after a moment's pause.
"Bugs?" she asked as she wrinkled her nose.
A smile lit Kenshin's lips. "Yes, a story about bugs."
A doubtful look passed over her expressive features, to which he responded with a mock scowl. She searched his face, but only found earnest seriousness.
Finally she settled back onto the pillow, and Kenshin took that as his cue to start.
"It was a beautiful summer day…"
Kaoru allowed her heavy eyelids to drift shut, and dozed to the soothing tones of Kenshin's voice. From the way he described the lanky, lazy grasshopper, it sounded just like Sano. Which meant that the busybody ant could be none other than Megumi. She smiled to herself as she pictured their heads on bug bodies, acting out the story.
"…and so the ant was prepared for winter because it had gathered food all summer. But the grasshopper who had played all through the warm weather, was not. When the snow came, the ant was snug in its little home while the grasshopper was caught out in the cold. So he knocked on the door and asked the ant to let him in. The ant…" Kenshin's voice died away. When it failed to resume, Kaoru opened her eyes and sat up.
"And?" she asked, regarding him. From the puzzled look on his face, she had a sinking feeling that Sano the grasshopper had not made it through the winter.
"Well, I have heard two versions: one where the ant only has enough for itself and refuses the grasshopper and another where the ant shares what it has with the grasshopper." Kenshin finished with a sheepish look on his face.
Kaoru relaxed just a bit. "I like the second ending better."
Kenshin shared a smile with her. "So do I."
Kaoru looked up at him, not knowing that her heart was in her eyes. He meant so much to her. And tonight, in this relaxed moment, she could pretend that he would always be here with her. He was still very attuned to his surroundings, like a deer wary of danger, but tonight, with his hair down, he seemed approachable. There was something intimate about the way he was touching her tonight, and she was very much aware of his presence by her futon. Appreciation for the consideration he always afforded her bubbled up inside her until she could not sit still. Impulsively she leaned over and threaded her fingers into the flame red hair that had fallen over his shoulder.
Again he went incredibly still, like a wild animal under a timid touch. His eyes intensified, and Kaoru frantically focused on her hand as the blush stole across her face.
Since when have I ever been this forward? Kenshin must think me pushy and uncouth! She seriously berated herself as she allowed the red strands to slip from her fingers. Steeling herself, she looked up his face to gauge his reaction. His entire being seemed focused only on her, and the quiet intensity about him was unsettling because it carried the same absolute purpose that suffused his being when he wielded his sword.
Or perhaps she had seen wrong, because in the next instance, Kenshin was himself. She let her hand drop, somehow disappointed.
He stirred and rose to his feet. She let him, preoccupied with the feeling that she had just missed something important.
He paused in the doorway, the lamp in the hall illuminating his figure.
"Good night, Kaoru-dono."
She roused herself and struggled out from under the blankets. Climbing to her feet, she shouldered her way beside him in the doorway. Hesitantly she placed a hand on his scarred cheek and turned his face to the light, searching for a reaction, something she could place a finger on.
His countenance was friendly, open, and blank. She could read nothing in it. He eased his way out from under her scrutiny and out from under her hand. Discouraged, she started to drop it.
But I may never get another chance like this. Resolve blossomed in her heart.
She delicately traced the downward slant of his scar with the pad of her finger.
"Does it bother you if I touch it?" She was standing inches away from him, her face upturned to his.
"No," Kenshin answered, and Kaoru wondered if she had just imagined the small quaver in his voice.
"Then does it bother you if I touch you?" She pressed on, curious as to what his reaction would be.
"No." When he answered this time, Kaoru detected an unsteady quaver in his voice.
Womanly instincts told her to draw closer, and she obeyed unquestioningly. She was so close she could feel his breath on her face.
"May I touch you?" She asked tentatively.
He caught his breath, but his eyes never left hers, and she realized that he was as nervous as she was. She cradled his cheek in the palm of her hand, her thumb gently stroking his scar.
He took a deep breath, and the intensity of his gaze threatened to overwhelm her.
"Yes," he grunted deeply, so low that only she heard it.
She brought her other hand up and caressed his other cheek. Boldly, before she lost her nerve, she guided his lips down to within reach of her mouth. Their breaths mingled as she brushed her lips across his. It was sweet in its innocence, and she pulled away, her blush highly becoming. Her eyes locked with his as they fluttered open, seeking reassurance.
His irises had darkened to a rich velvet indigo violet, and there was a raw tenderness lurking in those purple depths that calmed her nervousness. Sometimes she had feared that in the heat of passion, like in the heat of battle, Battousai would appear with his pale gold eyes and his fierceness. As much as that intimidated her, it also excited her in dark, dangerous ways.
"That was your first kiss, wasn't it Kaoru?" His tone was extremely gentle, and any fear she had of being rejected was immediately quelled when he took her into his arms. One hand cradled the back of her head and the other came around to encircle the small of her back. After a moment, her arms found their natural place around his waist. She buried her flaming face into his shoulder, taking comfort in the familiar smell and texture that was Kenshin.
"Yes," she answered at last, this time her tone only audible to him.
"Ah Kaoru," Kenshin sighed with a wealth of emotion in his voice. "Never ever change who you are." Because that's the way I love you, he finished silently to himself.
Some of the day's tension eased from her, and Kenshin could feel her relaxing against him. Long past the time he should have let go and sent her off to bed, her arms remained lightly around him, silencing any thoughts he had of deserting her. After a while he feared that she had fallen asleep, but when he shifted his weight to his other foot, she stirred and tightened her grip.
"You could stay," she invited softly; so softly that he had to bend down to catch it. Did she notice that his heart had skipped a beat?
She eased away from him, and he could see that her face was bright red. "To sleep, of course," she corrected hastily.
Calm down, Kenshin, he cautioned himself. She is way too tired for the activities that come to mind.
She took his hand in two of hers and held it close like a precious treasure. "You may, if you want to. Do you want to, Kenshin?" Her gaze locked with his, and the open trust in her eyes was the undoing of his restraint. She deserved nothing less than the truth from him, no matter whether it shocked her or not.
"Yes, but sleep is not what I thought you meant," he replied truthfully.
Most surprisingly, her blush deepened and her lashes swept down to hide her expressive eyes. She lowered his hand, but retained her clasp on it.
"Would you promise not to do anything?" she whispered.
He sought her gaze to no avail as he reassured her. "I would never do anything to you that you didn't want me to."
Kaoru nodded, never meeting his gaze. She slowly backed into the dim room, leading him in. He thought about regaining his hand by force, but the sweet vulnerability of her emotions struck a chord in his heart and he could not refuse her.
Carefully she seated him in his former position by the futon, then went and shut the door. There was a moment of awkwardness when she realized he was still in his gi and hakama, but she rummaged around in her stuff until she came up with another sleeping robe.
"Here," she offered shyly, then turned her back.
He glanced at her once before standing, shedding his clothes and donning the robe that smelled like Kaoru. He touched her shoulder to let her know she could turn around, and she practically jumped out of her skin.
"I could-" he started, but she shook her head vigorously in response. She meticulously turned down the blankets and knelt on the side of the futon she had claimed as hers. She seemed to lose herself in her thoughts for a moment, as if she finally realized just what she was doing, but he could see dimly the firm set of her jaw and knew that she would follow through despite her doubts.
Nervously he sat on his side and studied her. They shared an awkward silence, and then Kaoru handed him his side of the covers. She laid down with her back to him and pulled the blankets up over her shoulder. He stared at her a moment longer, and then followed suit.
He lay there in the darkness for a while, acutely aware of her presence beside him. She stirred, and then eased her back against his, so that they were touching shoulder to hip. She settled into the covers, made a contented sound and whispered a soft good night. Soon after, she was sleeping quietly, and Kenshin envied Kaoru her innocence.
It's going to be a long night, he thought to himself as he tried to fall asleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Author's Notes
Originally, I intended this to be a one shot fic, but it has taken off as a story, so I have kept writing. The main focus of this story is Kenshin and Kaoru as a couple, although I suspect that Kaoru will dominate most of the story. As a result, the other characters will make their appearances only when it suits the storyline. There will be original characters, but again, they will be to help the story along.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed!
Wolfspeaker, Gaiden, Joseph Parker; thank you for your continuous encouragement and support!
Annaneko, thanks to your editing, suggestions, and encouragement, my writing has gotten so much better and I always look forward to sending you my latest update.