Title: Lavender

Author: Sardius

Category: Romance

Warnings: PG-13

Pairings: Yohji/Ran

Disclaimer: Weiss Kreuz belongs to Project Weiss, and Lavender is written and directed by Riley Ip Kam-hung. I'm just a poor student with a crappy old PC.

Author's Note: Amazingly, I'm finally posting something. Sorry for the delay. Once again, tons of thanks to my betas - Lenihan and Lilla. Hope you'll enjoy.

Chapter Seven: A Forgiver

"Onnichan over here."

I searched around until I spotted Aya standing on top of a meadow and found myself smiling as joy bloomed inside of my heart at seeing her again. Bathed in the morning sunlight, her laughter a sweet melody to my ears, she linked her arms with mine and spun us around until we both landed on the soft grass.

I looked up at the clear sky that stretched continuously above me. It was beautiful. Like a never-ending ocean, it stretched for miles and miles away, completely out of my reach. I closed my eyes to block out the sunlight, and felt the cool breeze brushing lightly across my cheeks.

If only time could stop now and let me to stay here forever.

"Ran, you needn't worry about me, it's a wonderful place where I'm staying." Aya leaned her head on my shoulder and shifted closer, so that our bodies were touching, side by side. I reached out to link our fingers together, holding onto her as if I was afraid to let her go.

"Aya, I don't want to be alone anymore."

I opened my eyes to find Aya leaning down towards me, a slight frown had appeared on her face, her long chestnut hair was draped over her shoulders. Thinking I'd upset her, I was surprised when her innocent eyes sparkled, as she smiled sweetly at me and kissed me on the nose. I scowled and rubbed my nose with the palm of my hand, glaring back at her, as she knew how much this has always irritated me.

"But Onnichan, you aren't alone. You've got Yohji."

"Aya? How?"

I couldn't understand how Aya had known about Yohji in the first place. Just as I was about to ask her, an image of Yohji appeared in my mind that made me smile. I remembered that night when he'd fallen onto my balcony and I'd thought he was some green-eyed monster sent out to kill me. Only to find out that he was nothing as I'd expected. It was still hard to believe that Yohji was an angel when he'd looked so normal on the outside. I ran my fingers across my lips, recalling the kiss he'd given me and felt my cheeks blushing furiously.

Aya interrupted my train of thoughts before I could utter another word of protest. "You see Ran.  You aren't alone anymore. Even though you won't admit it to yourself right now, you've already fallen in love with him."

I wanted to tell Aya that no one would ever take her place but she reached out her hand and placed it on my breast. "I'll always be with you Ran. Inside of you, here."

I could see the warmth of her affection shining in her blue eyes and knew that every word she'd said to me came from within her heart. Sadness overcame me; I knew this might well be the last time that I would ever see her.

"Aya . . . " I whispered.

Don't leave me yet, Aya. I'm not strong enough to be by myself.

"Onnichan, it's time to let go." Aya reached out her hand to brush back the crimson bangs that covered my eyes and leaned over to give me a soft peck on the cheek. I took hold of her hand, and tightened it in my grip. I wanted to let her know that I'd be all right and yet at the same time, an inner part of me, craved for her to be by my side.

"Aya . . ." I pleaded.

Aya...I can't. I don't want to let you go.

I slowly watched her fade away. The hand that I'd held so tightly before loosened, until all I grasped was thin air. Aya. Aya, I need you. I need you to be here. Aya disappeared in front of my eyes, the light grew brighter and brighter, until I could no longer keep my eyes opened and I felt myself lost in the clear sky that now filled my vision. I found myself drifting into the darkness with Aya's voice echoing in my mind.

Be happy Ran.

Be Free.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

I was warm. So comfortably warm. I hadn't felt like this for a long time. I found myself snuggling closer to the warmth that surrounded me, and wrapped my arms around his waist...

Wait a minute.

In an instant, I'd opened my eyes to find myself in the most bizarre position. After blinking a few times, to get my bearings, I realised I was sprawled on top of Yohji with my head tucked under his chin while he held me securely in his arms. For one brief second, I wanted to kick the blond viciously for touching me in the first place but one look at his face, made that thought vanish as quickly as it'd come. Without waking the angel, I laid back down and listened to his heartbeat. It was so real. Sometimes I wondered if Yohji was truly human. If he was an angel, wouldn't that mean he'd have to be dead? Forcing that thought away, I found myself clinging onto him hopelessly, afraid that he would disappear just like Aya chan had in my dreams.

Yohji moaned and I knew he was going to wake up any second. Not wanting the blond to know I'd already woken up, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

Yohji opened his eyes. It was bright, so terribly bright. Not that he minded in the least since he was used to the light that surrounded him all the time. No, instead Yohji was so comfortable that he didn't want to wake up. Shifting around, the angel realised something was wrong. He opened his eyes to behold a sleeping Ran lying peacefully on top of him, his lips slightly parted, just enough to tempt Yohji into kissing the redhead till he couldn't breathe.

It was a beautiful sight to wake up to and one the angel would likely never forget. Running his fingers through Ran's silky hair, a frown appeared on his handsome face. It was time. He didn't know what to say to Ran or what kind of reaction he was hoping for when he'd tell him the news. Only, deep inside his heart, Yohji didn't want Ran to be upset. He couldn't bear to see the tears in those unguarded amethyst eyes that looked up towards the sky each night, longing for his sister.

Yohji was too absorbed in his thoughts, he'd only started to realised Ran was waking up when the redhead shifted closer towards his touch. Smiling a bit sheepishly, Yohji selfishly wanted to hold Ran a little longer, so he closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.

*     *     *     *     *      *

It'd felt so nice to have Yohji run his fingers through my hair. I remembered my mother used to do the same thing when I was a child. Everything had been so simple back then. Even though my parents were constantly busy, I knew they loved Aya and me very much. And for that, I felt as if I'd disappointed them when I hadn't even been able to protect her.

I wanted to stay like this forever. Forever held in the circle of these arms. Without realising what I was doing, I opened one eye to steal a glance at Yohji, only to find he was sleeping just as before. A small smile appeared on my lips and I sighed, pretending once again to be asleep.

*     *     *      *     *     *

The same smiled formed on Yohji's face as he opened his eyes to find an answering grin painted on Ran's lips. By now, he knew Ran was awake but for some reason, Ran hadn't kicked him off like Yohji thought he would. Instead, they'd remained together, bathed in the morning sunlight, neither of them wanting to move away from the other.

 // Oh please. This is sickening. Would the both of you just get off of the damn couch and stop pretending to play hide and seek? //

Yohji jolted in surprise, but before he could reply, he looked down to see Ran, his eyes wide open, falling to the floor, with a thundering crash.

"AAARRRRRRGGHHHHH."

Yohji winced at the redhead's fall and bent down to see if Ran was all right. He found Ran moaning in pain as he clutched the back of his head and struggled to find out who had interrupted their sleep. Then both of them raised their head to see a sardonic smirk curving a certain redheaded German's mouth and Yohji had to covered his eardrums as Ran screamed at the top of his voice.

"SCCCHHHHUUU!!!!!!!! "

*     *      *     *      *      *

Oh God, that had to have been the most embarrassing moment in my life. It'd felt so nice to be held in Yohji's arms, that I'd totally forgotten that Schu would be coming this morning. Last night, during dinner at Brad's apartment, the telepath had offered to take Aya's watch to get it fixed for me. I didn't wanted to at first, but since it has been almost two years since my sister's death, I wanted to give her something special on the day. 

"Ran, it broke and I wanted to wear it on your birthday too."

"Let me see. Maybe tomorrow we can take it to the store near father's work place."

"Really? Oh Onnichan, you're the best!"

It was probably the last thing I'd promised Aya before her death. Since then, I'd kept the watch in my possession, afraid to give it to anyone else. The watch wasn't expensive. Rather, it was a simple, elegant silver watch that fitted perfectly to Aya's wrist. It was a gift given to her by our mother, and it'd meant a lot to Aya. So much that I'd wanted to get it fixed, just so I could see her smile again.

But I left it too late. And now, the watch is the only thing I have left of her.

I noticed I was still wearing my bathrobe from last night and quickly excused myself to the bedroom, intending to find something more decent to wear.

"You know Ran, there's no need to get dressed. Why not join me here on the couch, where it's comfortable?"

Yohji chuckled beside Schu as the German settled comfortably on the couch. A lusty smirk curved his lips and I could feel his eyes roaming down my body till they fixed in a certain position. A blush appeared on my cheeks, but before I could tell Schu to mind his own business, Yohji angrily elbowed him in the ribs, only to have Schu mirroring his action. Soon, all I could hear were the usual insults thrown across the room that became louder as I went inside my bedroom.

Ignoring the commotion outside, I changed into my orange sweater and a pair of black pants when a cold shiver swept through my spine. Instantly, I knew something was wrong. I opened the drawer beside me and discovered that what I was looking for was not there.

The watch. It was gone.

I'd always left it here where it was supposed to be, making sure to keep it in a safe place. I scanned around the room and couldn't think of anywhere else where I could have misplaced it. In a rush, I almost ran to the living room where Yohji and Schu were, and found myself standing shakily before them.

Suddenly, I felt as if the room had gone colder and Schu's tone became serious as he asked me, "Ran, what's wrong?"

I could hardly register what was said to me. I stood frozen, eyes fixed to the ground while my mind was in chaos. "I.... I can't find it. It's gone."

I sounded so hopeless, like a small child that had lost his favourite toy. Schu automatically got up and I followed him into my bedroom where he opened the same drawer that I'd searched earlier.

"I already looked there. It's not found anywhere. I...I don't know where it is!" I cried.

I stumbled back outside to find Yohji looking at me in concern.

"What are you looking for?", he asked.

I didn't pay any attention to what Yohji was saying. The only thing in my mind right now was finding Aya's watch. I had to find it even if I'd have to turn the apartment upside down. I knew it had to be around here, somewhere, since I'd never taken it out before. I couldn't possibly have lost it. It'd meant so much to Aya, she'd entrusted it to me...I should have been more careful...

"Are you looking for the silver watch that was sitting by the kitchen table?"

I stopped moving all of a sudden and glanced up at Yohji's words. Yes, that was it. That was the watch. Maybe he'd seen it and decided to place it in a safe spot for me. Anxious to know where Aya's watch had gone, I grabbed onto his sleeves and frantically asked Yohji where he'd last seen it.

"Where...where did you see it?"

"........."

Yohji didn't say anything. Rather, he had his eyes downcast, trying to avoid my gaze. I tried asking him again, grabbing onto his sleeve and urged him to tell me where the watch was, until he finally looked me in the eye and told me in a soft voice.

"I errr...listen Ran, I thought it was broken, so I threw it away."

He. Threw. It. Away.

"You . . . you did what?"

I felt myself trembling from shock as Yohji's words echoed repeatedly in my head. I kept staring at those emerald eyes, questioning him, hoping by some chance, that he was having a joke at my expenses. But, all I could see was a hint of guilt in his eyes and my own reflection looking despairingly back at me.

He threw it away. It was gone. The last thing I had of Aya was gone. Threw it away. Threw it. Discarded it, like it was nothing important.

"Ran?"

I felt a gently touch on my shoulder but I shook it away. "Don't touch me.", I gritted out. Yohji seemed taken aback by my words but at the moment, I didn't care about anything except for the burning rage building inside of me.

"Why did you throw it away?" I stated calmly. But as my hands shook, I found myself unable to control my anger any longer. "I said, why the fuck did you throw it away?! You have no right to touch something that belongs to me!" I grabbed onto his shirt, hoping to shake some sense into him. Every bit of anger that had been bottled inside me came spilling out of my lips. I didn't give a damn about what I was saying.  Dimly, I could see Schu standing beside the doorway, but right now, all I could see, was Yohji standing right before me.

"All you've ever done is cause me trouble! Why the hell did you butt in my life?"

"Ran, I didn't know it was important to you. I'm sorry. How was I meant to know when you don't tell me anything?"

Excuses. That's what they were. I glared at him and shook my hands away from his shirt and spit back acidly, "Why the hell would I want to tell you anything? All you care about is what you want, dragging me out to stupid outrageous places, spending my money, taking over my apartment and ruining my goddamn life. Why can't you leave me alone??"

I bit on my lips when I realised what I'd said. I could see the hurt evident in Yohji's eyes staring straight back at me. The silence was almost deafening, until Yohji walked past me and headed for the door.

"Yo...Yohji wait."

Yohji didn't turn around to look at me. The door was already half way opened, and I longed to rush over and shut it behind me, but no words would come out of my lips. "I won't bother you anymore. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused." My heart almost broke apart hearing the pain in his voice. Yohji...no. Please, don't go.

The door clicked shut behind him and I was left staring at the empty space where Yohji had stood before. Suddenly, everything became too quiet and all that was left were his words echoing in the background.

I'm sorry Yohji.

*      *      *      *      *      *      *

"Ran, do you want me to go and look for him?"

I took the cup shakily from Schu's hand and took a sip of the warm tea, wetting my dried lips. It'd been hours since Yohji had left and there was still no trace of the blond whatsoever.

I won't bother you anymore.

Why? Why did I say something like that to him? I'd hurt him despite everything he'd done for me. And now, there was no way for me to see him again. To see Yohji smiling at me each morning when I stepped out of my room, to see him sleeping on the couch when I watched him at night, to feel those soft lips on mine and the whisper of the promises he'd made to me.

What if Yohji has returned back to heaven?

What if he never comes back?

Fear swept through me until I found myself trembling all over. I wrapped my arms around my chest, and breathed through my nose.

Yohji will come back to me. He will. He wouldn't just leave me without saying good-bye.

"Schu, I'm going to find him."

Schu grabbed my wrist to stop me from going further. I tried yanking my hand back away from him but he tightened his grip and shoved me back down on the couch. "And where are you going to find him Ran? You don't even know where he is? I searched downstairs before and there's no trace of him anywhere. I even called Ken and he hasn't seen Yohji either." The telepath sighed and sat down beside me, taking my hands in his, "Maybe he just needs to calm down, after a while he'll come back..."

"No! He won't come back!" I blurted, "He won't...you don't understand."

Yohji is an angel. He won't come back to me.

"I'll never see him again." I whispered.

I could feel tears stinging my eyes, making my vision blurred.

No. I won't let him go. Not now. Not after what he'd promised me. .

Wiping the tears with the back of my hand, I straightened up and headed for the door. This time, even Schu wouldn't stop me.

"I'm going to look for him and I don't care if I have to search the whole of Tokyo. I'll find him."

I thought Schu would probably drag me back inside but I was surprised when I felt him right beside me, a comforting hand placed on my shoulder. A smile greeted me on the German's lips and he nudged me towards the door. "Well sweetie, if you want to look for the dumb blond, then I'll help you find the prick. No promises on what I'll do to him once he's in my hands, though."

"Schu..."

Schu closed the door behind him and headed out towards the street. I stood there watching him, with a small smile on my lips and I silently thanked him.

Thank you.

*     *     *     *     *      *     *     *

It was almost midnight and I still couldn't find Yohji anywhere. Maybe this was my punishment for pushing him away. I staggered along the street, not minding where I was going as I wrapped my arms around myself, hoping to banish the cold that was seeping into my skin. I shivered and rubbed my eyes to clear my vision.

"Yohji . . . where are you?"

The street was almost empty. There was no one around me, except for a few occasional cars passing along the road. A bark was heard from a nearby dog and a cleaner went by throwing out the last of his rubbish in the bin. I stood there, not knowing where to go. I'd no idea where I was or how far I'd come. I only wanted to see Yohji again. To see his warm eyes looking down at me, to know that I wasn't just a random person in the world that I was important, that I was worth something.

I sank down onto the ground, the cool pavement sending shivers down my back. I sat there on the sidewalk, looking up towards the sky. After awhile, I glanced away and tucked my head between my knees with my arms covering my face.

I won't cry. I won't.

The first teardrops came sliding down my cheeks. I hadn't cried in a long time. Not since the day I'd met Yohji when he'd turned my life upside down. It seemed like it all happened yesterday but I felt like I'd known him forever.

"I'm sorry Yohji. I'm...sorry."

I rocked myself back to forth, wishing the ground would swallow me up. I didn't care that I was sitting in the middle of the street. I didn't care if anyone noticed me. I didn't want to go home because there would be no one there when I got back. No laughter, no voices, nothing. Just how it was before, I'd be by myself again.

The tears wouldn't stop flowing now. Like a dam had been opened, it couldn't be stopped. I lifted my head towards the sky and saw the stars shining brightly above me.

So far away. Just like Aya, I'll never be able to reach her.

Suddenly, out of anger, I stood up and I screamed, "Give him back to me! Give him back!"

I didn't know if there was someone up there in heaven that could hear me. Perhaps, God may listen to my words and give Yohji back to me. I didn't care if I was waking up the whole street up nor did I care what I was doing. I kept screaming up towards the sky until my throat was sore.

Then, like a light turned off, I slumped onto the ground and fell onto my knees. Tears hit the cool pavement, like rain, they were soaked from the ground. "Give him back to me.", I cried.

Give him back.  

A light shimmered in front of me coming from a dark alleyway. I covered my eyes to block out the light with my hand and was puzzled at how I'd missed it before. I gathered myself up and walked towards the light until I felt my surroundings become brighter and brighter.

"Is anyone there?"

There was no reply. I was beginning to wonder if I was imagining things and decided to go searching for Yohji again, when a voice called out to me.

"Ran?"

I stopped moving. It was as if everything had come crashing down upon me and all I could hear was the same voice echoing in my head. Ran. He'd called out my name. No one, no one with a voice like that would call my name the way he does. A joy bloomed inside of me, so sudden that I ran the next few steps to see if the stranger was truly whom I was looking for.

It was him.

Yohji was covered with dirt from head to toe. His face was smudged with black soot across his brow, probably from the newspaper inks he was touching. His clothes were ripped and tattered.  I looked down to see his bare feet. His blond hair was darkened; the silky strands that clung to his face were now loose and tangled. I almost didn't recognise him but for his bright green eyes staring back at me in surprise.

"Yohji . . . why?"

My voice was choked and I couldn't bear to let myself finish on what I'd being meaning to say. I wanted to throw my arms around Yohji and confess how sorry I was, but one look at his eyes made me stop myself.

I...I don't deserve to have someone like him.

But instead, Yohji smiled at me, his white teeth stood out from the black of his face and he lifted up a sparkling object held in his hand.

It was Aya chan's watch.

"I found the watch. There's no damage to it, so you can probably...mmph."

I didn't let him finish for I'd already flung myself on top of him until we both crashed onto the ground. I clung onto him for dear life and cried brokenly against his chest. The tears wouldn't stop flowing down my tear-stained face, I only know that I need to hold him, I need to hold him because I don't ever want to let go.

"Ran? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thrown away one of your belongings."

"DAMN YOU!" I shouted at Yohji's stunned face. I kept hitting him with my fist on his chest, while he held onto me tightly in his arms. "You said you'd never leave me! You promised me! Damn you, damn you, damn you." I kept hitting him till I didn't have any energy left and I slumped into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You promised me." I choked softly beside his ear.

"Oh Ran, come here."

Yohji held onto me, rubbing small circles on my back until my crying subsided. I could faintly hear the soothing words that were whispered beside me as he wiped my tears away with his hands, and looked at me with a passion in his eyes, I'd never seen before. I felt myself trapped into those beautiful emerald eyes, the eyes that I'd fallen in love with ever since I'd first seen them on that fateful night. Eyes that were directed towards me and me alone.

"I'm sorry for worrying you. I didn't realise you'd be this upset. I wouldn't just leave you without saying good bye." His eyes showed a hint of sadness in them and I couldn't bear to look at them any longer. I shifted away to stare at a random spot on the ground.

"But you'll leave me one day. Just like the rest of them."

"No, I won't." I felt his fingers gently touching my cheek, tilting my chin up so I was gazing up at him again. "Because angels never break their promises. I promise you. I'll be with you forever. Even if I'm not an angel anymore, I'll come back to you. Wherever you go, I'll follow you."

So serious were his words, I'd almost believe it. Almost. Maybe it was because I'd wanted to believe it, so I made myself think that Yohji would always be with me. I reached out and touched his cheeks with my hands, wiping away the dirt from his face. Without any warning, I clumsily kissed him on the lips, letting my love poured from my heart. I felt his arms tighten around me, shock apparent on his face; it took a while for him to kiss me back.

This was the feeling that I'd always craved for. This sense of belonging that only Yohji could give me.

I want to stay in these arms forever. .

His lips were warm, soft, like the last time we had kissed. This time, I wasn't afraid. I only wanted more. I wanted more of that warmth to burn inside of me. After a while, we shifted apart, both of us panting slightly. A smile was apparent on Yohji's face and I couldn't help but mirror his expression. Suddenly, I realised how ridiculous we must have looked right now, sitting in the middle of the alleyway, covered in filth. It definitely wasn't the most romantic place to be.

"Sorry for letting you go hungry for so long." I said.

Yohji looked at me for a second, only realising that I'd just made a joke. He chuckled and I could see a spark of amusement in his eyes. He leaned over and rubbed his face along my cheeks, "Hmm...I'm still a bit hungry you know. How about you treat me to a meal when we get home?"

I scowled and gently pushed him away. "I'm not going to be your dinner."

"But sweetie, where else am I going to get some Ran's loving?"

I couldn't help but bite back on a laugh. I couldn't believe Yohji was pouting at me. I reached down to link our fingers together and realised how perfectly they fitted.

Maybe you're right Aya. I'd fallen in love with him even though I didn't realise it myself. Just as you'd told me to let you go, I'll have to do the same with him as well.

Wherever you go, I'll follow you.

After getting up and dusting the dirt from our clothes, we both walked together in a comfortable silence. Perhaps it was just a trick of the light, but as I looked up at the night sky, I thought I saw a shimmering star that glowed more brightly than the others and I knew, I knew Aya was watching us from above.

*   *    *    *    *    *    *

"It's good to be clean again."

Yohji came stepping out of the bathroom, steam trailed after him as he settled on the couch beside me. I'd made some green tea to warm myself up and was sipping quietly when I glanced at the clock. It was beginning to be quite late and I found my eyelids growing heavy.

The cup was taken out of my hands and placed on the coffee table. "You look tired Ran. Go to sleep before you catch a cold."

I sat there looking at my hands that were placed in my lap. I didn't want to go back to my bedroom where it was cold and lonely. It was so warm here beside Yohji, so comforting, so safe. The dark room held no place for me. It was the room that I'd often cried in, and I didn't want to sleep there by myself tonight.

"Yohji...could you..." I licked my lips and swallowed nervously. "could you stay with me for tonight?"

I could feel a blush already heating my cheeks and I didn't dare look up to see what kind of reaction I'd provoked from him. It was a stupid request and one I shouldn't had voiced out. I got up in a rush and prepared to storm into my room when I felt his hand catching my wrist.

"Ran."

His touch was warm compared to mine. Yohji's smile was reassuring and he led me to my room and opened the door. Inside, it was dark, just like any other night except now a faint glimmer came from the rose seating by my bedside table. It was a gift given to me by Aya and which Yohji had passed onto me.

It felt like the room was brighter now that Yohji was beside me. He lifted the comforter and stretched out on the bed, his head resting on the pillow as he gazed back up at me. I felt awkward standing beside him, but as I climbed onto the bed, he pulled me by one arm so that I fell on top of him. Then, like the night before, he tucked the comforter around my shoulders and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Look up."

I did as I was told and gasped when I looked up at the ceiling. Stars. Thousands of them, stretched across the sky, just like the stars that I was looking at tonight. Gone, was the white ceiling that I was so afraid of, instead I felt like I was in a dream, so beautiful were they, I felt as though I could reach out and touch them.

"They're beautiful." I whispered. I stayed there in Yohji's arms with his soft breath tickling my forehead and felt contented for the first time. Even though I knew this moment wouldn't last forever, I was glad that I'd met him. I was glad that at least for once in my life, I'd finally found the happiness that I'd been searching for.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

"What the hell? What do you mean they're home already!"

"I just saw them Schu. Yohji and Ran went inside the apartment."

"What?!! And here I am freezing my ass off and they've sorted out their lover's quarrel??"

"Well serves you right for being a bastard all the time."

A chuckle could be heard across the phone line.

"Hidaka. You are *so* dead."

[Disconnected.]

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

TBC~~~

Only two more chapters to go! Hopefully, I'll be able to post one more chapter before christmas, or maybe I'll work on the omake. Depends. Have a nice day. ^_____^