Hmm... Inspiration struck me while I was home sick today...
Disclaimer: I own nothing. My back hurts too much for me to come up with a clever and witty disclaimer, so I'll take one from a fanfic I wrote a while ago: Anything you recognize isn't mine. Nor is it my cats. Grammar mistakes and my cats do, however, belong to me. So there..
happy? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Urg..."
"Hermione! It's time to get u-MERLIN'S BEARD! You look like crap!" Lavender exclaimed as she threw back the curtains surrounding Hermione's four-poster bed.
"Thanks so much, Lavender." Hermione mumbled, trying to sit up.
"Oh no you don't! I'll tell all the teachers you're ill today. You can NOT go to class looking like THAT!" Lavender pushed her down and tucked the covers in tightly, practically binding Hermione to the bed.
"But-Potions! We have a test!" Hermione protested, stuggling to get up.
"No. Would you rahter puke in your cauldron and ruin it, or take a make up test?"
"......Point taken. But At least take a note to Professor Snape for me!"
"Nope! I'm already late! Just go back to sleep!" Lavender skipped out of the roon cheerily, leaving Hermione bractically tied to her bed with heavy blankets.
"Well I guess it couldn't hurt too much..." Hermione mumbled as she sunk deeper into the bed. She closed her eyes and knew no more.
*
Hermione didn't wake until dinner, whereupon she ate and fell back asleep.
The next morning she woke up, again feeling sick.
"Lavender, please take this note to Professor Snape!" Hermione held out a note she had composed the night before while she was half asleep. She desperately hoped it didn't say anything too rude or offensive, but she couldn't be sure, and whenever she read it the words seemed to swim before her eyes, making her sea-sick.
"Fine! I'll take it."
"Thanks, Lavender." Hermione once again settled into her warm bed and drifted off to Dream Land.
*
"Professor Snape, I have a note from Hermione to explain her absence yesterday." Lavender cautiously approached the teacher's desk, holding the piece of parchment out like a peace offering.
Professor Snape scowled and snatched the paper, causing Lavender to cower and scuttle back to her seat. He opened the note and read through it.
'Dearest Professor Snape:
My apologies, I was ill yesterday, and may well be tomorrow. I have a feeling it may have been the fumes from the potion we worked on Friday, or just the sight of your hair. You really should wash it, you know. It's called shampoo, you greasy git. Now, Maybe if you look cleaner, I won't be made sick at the sight of you. I'll see you as soon as I'm well!
Love, Hermione.
PS: If I offend, please do not read this letter.'
Professor Snape's scowl deepened and she looked up at Lavender with his piercing black eyes.
"What kind of joke is this?" His voice was dangerously low.
"Wh-what do you mean, Professor?" Lavender's voice trembled as she tried not to meet the enraged Professor's eyes.
"This! This piece of CRAP!"
"I-I don't know, s-sir."
"Please," Severus's voice was suddenly smooth as silk, "Inform Miss Granger she has a month of detention and 50 points off of Gryffandor." Professor Snape nearly flowed to Lavender's desk, snatched her quill, and scribbled a note on the back of Hermione's excuse. "And please give this to her."
Lavender nodded, tucking the note into her pocket. Snape threw Lavender's quill back on her desk and stalked to the front of the classroom.
"Open your books to page 538!" Snape barked.
*
"Hermione! Hermione, wake up!" Lavender shook Hermione awake.
"Wha?" A sleepy Hermione asked.
"Professor gave me a note to give you." Lavender handed her the note. "You have a month detention and 50 points off Gryffandor. What did you write?!"
"Oh...." Hermione shrugged and looked at her note. She paled.
"Oh... I WROTE that?!" She flipped the note over.
'Dearest Miss Granger:
I will see you in detention. I suggest you wear sunglasses that you may not see the hair that so offends you.
Love, Severus
PS: If this offends you, please learn to write a proper excuse note.'
Hermione read the note and, despite herself, began to laugh heartily, winding up in a coughing fit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
^_^ Uh, yeah. The note was-OH!!!! Porky Pig singing 'Blue Christmas'!!!!!! ^________^ Ta ta!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. My back hurts too much for me to come up with a clever and witty disclaimer, so I'll take one from a fanfic I wrote a while ago: Anything you recognize isn't mine. Nor is it my cats. Grammar mistakes and my cats do, however, belong to me. So there..
happy? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Urg..."
"Hermione! It's time to get u-MERLIN'S BEARD! You look like crap!" Lavender exclaimed as she threw back the curtains surrounding Hermione's four-poster bed.
"Thanks so much, Lavender." Hermione mumbled, trying to sit up.
"Oh no you don't! I'll tell all the teachers you're ill today. You can NOT go to class looking like THAT!" Lavender pushed her down and tucked the covers in tightly, practically binding Hermione to the bed.
"But-Potions! We have a test!" Hermione protested, stuggling to get up.
"No. Would you rahter puke in your cauldron and ruin it, or take a make up test?"
"......Point taken. But At least take a note to Professor Snape for me!"
"Nope! I'm already late! Just go back to sleep!" Lavender skipped out of the roon cheerily, leaving Hermione bractically tied to her bed with heavy blankets.
"Well I guess it couldn't hurt too much..." Hermione mumbled as she sunk deeper into the bed. She closed her eyes and knew no more.
*
Hermione didn't wake until dinner, whereupon she ate and fell back asleep.
The next morning she woke up, again feeling sick.
"Lavender, please take this note to Professor Snape!" Hermione held out a note she had composed the night before while she was half asleep. She desperately hoped it didn't say anything too rude or offensive, but she couldn't be sure, and whenever she read it the words seemed to swim before her eyes, making her sea-sick.
"Fine! I'll take it."
"Thanks, Lavender." Hermione once again settled into her warm bed and drifted off to Dream Land.
*
"Professor Snape, I have a note from Hermione to explain her absence yesterday." Lavender cautiously approached the teacher's desk, holding the piece of parchment out like a peace offering.
Professor Snape scowled and snatched the paper, causing Lavender to cower and scuttle back to her seat. He opened the note and read through it.
'Dearest Professor Snape:
My apologies, I was ill yesterday, and may well be tomorrow. I have a feeling it may have been the fumes from the potion we worked on Friday, or just the sight of your hair. You really should wash it, you know. It's called shampoo, you greasy git. Now, Maybe if you look cleaner, I won't be made sick at the sight of you. I'll see you as soon as I'm well!
Love, Hermione.
PS: If I offend, please do not read this letter.'
Professor Snape's scowl deepened and she looked up at Lavender with his piercing black eyes.
"What kind of joke is this?" His voice was dangerously low.
"Wh-what do you mean, Professor?" Lavender's voice trembled as she tried not to meet the enraged Professor's eyes.
"This! This piece of CRAP!"
"I-I don't know, s-sir."
"Please," Severus's voice was suddenly smooth as silk, "Inform Miss Granger she has a month of detention and 50 points off of Gryffandor." Professor Snape nearly flowed to Lavender's desk, snatched her quill, and scribbled a note on the back of Hermione's excuse. "And please give this to her."
Lavender nodded, tucking the note into her pocket. Snape threw Lavender's quill back on her desk and stalked to the front of the classroom.
"Open your books to page 538!" Snape barked.
*
"Hermione! Hermione, wake up!" Lavender shook Hermione awake.
"Wha?" A sleepy Hermione asked.
"Professor gave me a note to give you." Lavender handed her the note. "You have a month detention and 50 points off Gryffandor. What did you write?!"
"Oh...." Hermione shrugged and looked at her note. She paled.
"Oh... I WROTE that?!" She flipped the note over.
'Dearest Miss Granger:
I will see you in detention. I suggest you wear sunglasses that you may not see the hair that so offends you.
Love, Severus
PS: If this offends you, please learn to write a proper excuse note.'
Hermione read the note and, despite herself, began to laugh heartily, winding up in a coughing fit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
^_^ Uh, yeah. The note was-OH!!!! Porky Pig singing 'Blue Christmas'!!!!!! ^________^ Ta ta!