Storytelling
by Blackonyx_angel and Qraisi
A/N: *snicker* it's slash, and there's language in here and the pairings are a surprise... if you can handle surprise pairings... don't read then.
It was the night of the thief's moon.
No, that beginning sucks.
Thunder from-
No, that one sucks too.
It was the night I was shagged by the greasy potions master.
Um. It's better, but there's something missing…
It was the night I was shagged by my greasy potions professor.
Yes! Much better. Now what?
So there I was minding my own business, but what should happen when I get snatched into this room by this big, greasy professor.
That's kind of repetitive, and I don't think that really happened.
Ok, fine. I was in the dungeons cleaning up a big mess that Malfoy made earlier, and I hear these noises.
Noises? What noises?
Well, erm… they were kind of… 'moaning' noises.
*Raise eyebrow* Moaning noises?
You know! The kind you get when you um… erm… *waves offhandedly* You know.
Oh. You mean 'those' noises… *nods* Go on, then.
And so anyways, I hear these moaning noises.
You said that already, lets move on.
Well, anyways, I go in to investigate.
Investigate where?
You know, Snape's office. I took a quick peek through his lock.
And?
Well… he was there… Just moaning… uh… you know.
*nod* Go on.
Well, so anyways, I'm here watching, and I guess I was breathing too hard, but he heard.
He heard?
… Yeah.
Well. What happened?
At first I thought I was safe because all he did was stop and look around.
Wait a minute. What was he doing again?
You know… Um… that thing.
*raises eyebrow* Exactly what thing?
He had a talk with Rosie and her five friends, ok?
*blink* Ooh. Ok. Go on.
But then he stands up and just swoops right to the door and opens it.
Seriously?
… Yeah. Would I lie to you?
*pointed look*
Oh, don't look at me like that.
Fine. What did he do?
So, he sees me just sitting there breathing all hard and stuff, and he took it the wrong way.
Wait, why were you breathing hard?
Well, I thought I was gunna get caught!
Ok, fine. What happened next?
So he takes one look at me, smirks, and says 'Enjoying your little peep show?'
That's it?
Well… no.
Well, what else did he do?
He… um… drag'dm'nto'isof'ice.
*blink* He what?
Draggedmeintohisoffice.
*double blink* Ok, one more time, he what?
Dragged me into his office. *exasperated sigh*
*snicker* Then what happened?
What do you think happened?
*silence* … *leer*
Don't you start too.
Don't start what?
Looking at me like that.
Who else looked at you like that?
*waves wildly* HE did.
Snape did?
Yeah. Why do you think he dragged me into his office.
To give you a dressing down, was my first guess.
Well, yeah, he did dress me down, but not in the way you mean.
*laughs* He didn't.
*rolls eyes* No, I'm lying to you.
*rolls eyes too* Prat. Just get on with the story.
So anyways, he 'dresses me down' and says something about how I must have really been enjoying the peep show.
*raises eyebrow* Why would he say that?
Well… um… *blush* I sort of had a problem.
*smiles* How big of a problem?
Um.. about seven inches.
*amused* …
Oh shut up.
*holds hands up* I didn't say anything.
You were thinking too loud.
*shrugs* Whatever.
You were.
*sigh* Just get on with it.
So he grabs me.
Grabs you where?
Well… uh… on my… problem.
And…?
… He pulled.
*smirk* … Was it good?
*blush* None of your business!
Oh, come on!
I'm not sharing with you. Get your own teacher. I hear McGonagall has her eye on you.
*shudders* No thanks, I got Malfoy.
And do you share your little intimate secrets with him, with me?
*blink* Yes.
Ok, fine. Yes! It was good.
What happened next?
I forget.
Liar.
So bite me.
*bites*
Ow! *whack*
You told me to!
Oh shut up.
What happened next?
He sat me on his desk.
And you never uttered one word against what was happening?
Most of my words were pretty garbled up.
How come? He have his tongue down your throat or something?
As a matter of fact, he did.
His tongue or something else?
His tongue.
Ok.
And well, he didn't actually sit me on his desk.
Then what did he do?
He more or less draped me on top of it.
Stylish.
Oh shut up.
Fine, next.
What else is there?
You said he shagged you, but you haven't mentioned any shagging.
Ok, fine! He shagged me till my brains turned blue from the bruising.
That good?
Something like that.
And I don't get any details, huh?
*blush* No!
Fine. *smirk* So, when are you seeing him again, Ron?
Actually… *looks at watch* ten minutes ago. Gotta run. See you, Harry! *zooms out the door*
*snicker* See you, Ron. *turns* Draco, you can come out now.
End