Tell Me Another Story
by Blackonyx_angel and Qraisi
A/N: *snicker* again slash... a little language, mixed with humor... and you get this... o.o' um... there's a few more pairings... but they're all Ron and someone else... we've done it! We've made Ron into a slut!!
Q/N: 'Moose cake'... that is all I have to say about this one.
Ron, I'm gunna kill you.
*blinks sweetly* Why whatever for, Harry?
*growl* Did you have to do that?
I don't know what you're talking about.
*grit teeth* McGonagall.
You know, she's always liked you, how is she?
*glare* ... *starts toward Ron*
Hey, it would have happened whether I did anything or not.
*stops* You're such a liar.
Am not!
Yes, you are.
Not!
*rolls eyes* Whatever. *smirk* How's Sevvy?
Oh, um... fine.
*raises eyebrow* That didn't sound too convincing.
Well, er... um... I mean, How should I know?
Ron, we've already established you're shagging the man.
Oh, wait... We did, didn't we? He's fine.
You know, Pansy has her eye on you... I'm sure I could get her to... 'approach' you.
What for?
*evil smile* Why, to get you back. Of course, she'd approach you in Potions...
Oh yeah, that'll be good. What are we trying to do, get Snape to kill her?
You know, I didn't think of that...
You wouldn't, would you?
*glare*
So, what did McGonagall do?
*runs hand over eyes* Pinched my bum in the middle of the hallway.
Ooh. Who saw?
Malfoy, for one.
That's all. You know, McGonagall is a bit of an exhibitionist.
And you know this how?
*blush* I have my sources.
*gapes* Dear Merlin. You do get around, don't you?
I do not.
Oh really?
Yeah, I sort of just... yeah.
*starts ticking off* Me, Snape, McGonagall, Seamus, Dean, Neville, Hermione, Remus... anyone I miss?
*glare* I did not sleep with McGonagall.
*rolls eyes* You don't have to sleep with someone to fuck them.
Well, I didn't do that neither.
Then how do you know about McGonagall?
Neville told me.
*faceplant*
What? Oh and there was one other.
Who?
Malfoy. *sweet smile*
What?! When?!
Ask him yourself.
*starts heading toward Ron*
Hey! It's not my fault! He approached me.
When?
Ask him yourself.
*threatening note enters voice* Ronald.
It was awhile ago.
Define awhile.
I don't know.. I can't remember.
Before or after Draco and I got together.
I think it was before.
*eyes narrow* You think?
Well, ask him if you want to know more specifics.
But you're here now.
All I know is that it was after Neville and before Hermione.
*stops* ... *thinks* ... *sits down* All right, then.
When was that?
When was what?
When was I with Malfoy.
A few weeks before he and I got together.
Oh, ok.
Hence the reason you're still alive.
I think Snape would kill you before you did any real damage. A mite clingy that one.
Is he really?
Actually, yes. Also a cuddle-er. Surprised me when I found out. Never thought he was a cuddle-er.
I didn't need to know that. So, he really would kill Pansy, then?
Yeah.
*evil smile*
What was that look for?
We're gunna be one Slytherin short before the end of term.
That's not nice.
Are you really gunna complain?
No, but it won't be pretty.
True, and it'll probably get Snape fired.
Oh, he'll make it look like an accident.
Damn. I was hoping we could get a new potions professor.
That's not nice. At least wait until I'm done with him.
I make no promises.
Not even for me. *bats eyes*
*smiles* Especially not for you.
Aw, sense when have ever done you wrong.
You never told me you slept with Draco.
You never asked.
I never asked about any of the others, but you told me about them.
So?
So... so you never told me.
I didn't think it was that important. It wasn't one of my longer exploits.
Define longer.
It was only for a few days or something, wasn't it?
Are you telling me you don't remember?
Well, I get them all mix up sometimes. You try keeping track of seven flings.
*rolls eyes* Eight, Ron. Eight.
See.
*shakes head*
What?
Is it a bad thing that I know your flings better than you do?
No. I think it's always good to have a manager.
You're gunna have to start paying me soon.
How many rolls in the hay a week you want?
You're lucky Draco isn't here.
I think he wouldn't mind sharing.
*snort*
And if he wants, he can join in too.
We're not going there.
If that's what you want.
*glare* Oh shut up. *thinks* You know, I think the time you've been with Snape is the longest ever for you. *blinks* Is this turning serious?
Nah.
No? You've been with him for almost a week.
Well, you have to stick longer with the clingy ones, or they vengeful. Remember Neville?
*shudders* How can I forget?
But it wasn't my fault. Told him at the get go I didn't plan at staying long.
*rolls eyes*
Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a study appointment with Snape and Remus.
*gapes* You little slut.
End