Disclaimer: Well, yeah, I don't own anything, but this story. If you would like to know the song, it's "Break Back" by Social Burn I think it fits. Wouldn't you?

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers. You may think I'm just saying this, but I really, really appreciate your comments. Frankly, I thought I wouldn't get anything, since I didn't get a review the first day. Well, you proved me wrong. And as a thank-you, I give you the 2nd chapter. FYI, there's going to be three.

Summary: It's a songfic about Draco and Hermione, and their peachy love-hate relationship. R/R!

Title: Recurrence

[Hermione's POV before and during the "incident"]

          The wind blew softly outside the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The night sky was filled with millions of stars lovers might look upon together. Everyone was asleep, well almost everyone. Hermione Granger, stared up at her ceiling, trying to fight the insomnia that was plaguing her. She hadn't slept in days. Harry and Ron began to notice, but she brushed them off, saying that she was studying a lot for the upcoming tests. Reluctantly, they agreed and left her alone. Not before Ron gave her a quick peck on the cheek and told her to not study so much, it'll be the end of her. Her thoughts weren't a Ron though. Not unless he dyed his hair platinum blonde and changed his soft brown eyes into piercing silver ones. No, it wasn't Ron. Was it ever Ron? Maybe Hermione just picked him from the crowd, as a rebound. She used him. Just like Draco had used her. Of course, she isn't going to break his heart. Even if hers was breaking. She took it as a punishment. She hurt so many people, and only now she thought of it. Finally, she fell asleep, only dreaming of darkness.


///Maybe it was more than just a need
The way I needed more than you for me to succeed
In this world of hate that only lives for one thing
For us to suffer, for us to suffer///

Once the sun arose, she quickly got out of bed. Brushing her now slightly wavy hair and pulling on her clothes, she quietly walked out of the room. She didn't feel like dealing with her roommates this morning. Too much things were on her mind that she even began to get depressed. She didn't feel like getting up. She'd have to deal with the taunting from her fellow classmates. Most of all, she'd have to deal with the cruel remarks by Draco. She was such a fool to believe that he changed and he loved her and all this other bullshit. Honestly. Once a jerk always a jerk. She walked out of the portrait and headed down the stairs to the Great Hall. She suddenly felt like she was being followed and turned around to see Draco staring longingly at her. 'He probably just wants to call me a filthy Mudblood slut and spit in my face.' She took a deep breath and coolly replied "Malfoy. Why are you following me?" She saw him wince, but figured it was just her wish to see him show some kind of human emotion. Quick as lightning, she felt herself against the wall, being kissed passionately by her lost love. She almost gave into the pleasure she felt. Her old feelings came rushing back, as an ache begged for him. Begged for him to touch her again. But as quick as those feelings came back so did the hurtful memories. He dumped her the next day right after they had sex. She was another one of his conquests, as he put it. Her eyes began to water as she pushed his forcefully away from her.

I can't believe I was actually enjoying that. I was just about to give him a piece of my mind before he blurted  "I love you." I was surprised that he would say something like that after what he did to me. I loved him and he just spat on my heart and threw it around like some damn quaffel. But, he kept talking. I listened intently on what he had to say.

"Gran--I mean Hermione, I love you. I know you may think that I'm just saying this, but I'm not. You're everything I think about. I can't get you out of my head. And Merlin knows I tried. I'm sorry I used you like that, I didn't know you would hold such importance in my life. Hell, you are my life."

Those words rang in my head as I tried to comprehend what exactly was happening. Draco Malfoy was confessing his love to me. Everything else was a dull buzz and I tried to find my feelings for him. I found them, but they were still so damaged. Did he think I would forgive him just like that, no questions asked. Well, even Mr. Malfoy has been watching too many Muggle Romances, because that never happens. Never. I snapped out of my thoughts and focused my eyes on they steel gray orbs in front of me. They looked expectantly and it seemed he was begging me for some kind of affection in return. God, how I wanted to kiss him and say I loved him too, but I couldn't. A tear slid down my cheek. I cursed at it, it showed my weakness. But, I have to be strong. I slowly walked over to him and finally said something.

"Draco, I loved you once. But, not now. Maybe not ever. Nothing will ever happen between us. I'm sorry, but you need to move on. People change." Gods, those were all lies. I love him more than anything. But I need him to feel the pain I felt. Revenge is bittersweet, but until I can sort out my feelings, nothing will happen. Ever. I kissed his cheek, relishing in the warmth he held and walked away. I tried not to feel guilty, leaving him there heartbroken. But, now he knows how I felt. Alone and heartbroken.
 

///Maybe it was more than just a joke
The way you always laughed and you never broke
Into a sea of tears cause it was never provoked
And now you suffer, and now you suffer///

///So break back
Another heart attack
And we could live life again///

I walked quickly to the Great Hall, but I couldn't see straight, tears were blinding me. Whenever I wiped one away, a billion more of those blasted tears formed. Gods, why did I do that? Why am I so stubborn. I finally had him, like in my dreams, and I go and screw it up. For what? Revenge? Well revenge is bittersweet. Maybe now he does hate me. I hate me, hell, I always hated me. This stupid world is nothing, but suffering. What's the point in living when all we feel is pain? 'Because we choose to' said a voice in my head.


///Maybe it was more than just the hand of fate
The day you crossed my path and I couldn't see straight
Into this world of ours and how it soon would break
And how we suffer, how we suffer

When I entered the Great Hall, I isolated myself. Everyone knew not to bother me when I was alone. They all probably figured I was stressed for the N.E.W.T.S. or something. How wrong were they. It's not like my world revolves around school. Argh, I can't take it anymore. I stood from my seat, and went back to where I left Draco, hoping for a miracle that he would be there. I wiped the excess tears and walked up the stairs to find no one. My heart sunk. What did I think, that he would still be there? Knowing Draco, he probably stormed into his room, cursing me to the next millennium. Probably convincing himself that this love was blinded. Maybe it was.

///Maybe it was more than just a little mistake
When I left you here without a word to say
Except I'll see you again another time and place
And now I suffer, how I suffer///

///So break back
Another heart attack
And we could live life again///