Title: Heroes (10/10)
Author: Karen
Rating: R (for violence and some non-graphic sexual scenes. Whoo hoo!)
Pairing: D/J
Disclaimer: Not mine, not a one.
Category: Angst, Romance, Light Humour.did I mention the angst?
Spoilers: YES! Up to and including 'Heroes' and then we swerve merrily off
into my own little world.
Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive. If you want to.
A/N: This is an episode 'fixer' or 'what if'. I haven't seen the ep or read
a transcript, so it may be a little out of whack when the episode airs. In
my head, everything is hunky-dory and certain events never happen. Period.
Oh, and I'm working on the supposition that Cassie is a senior in high
school.
Dedications: This is completely and totally inspired by the wonderful D/J
vids at www.gypsy-gateway.com, specifically 'Words He Doesn't Say' and
'I'll Be Good To You'. Go check out the final one in the trilogy 'It Is You
(I Have Loved)' that's just been released! Wonderful, wonderful vids,
thanks for the inspiration and all your kindness to a D/J newbie, Amy.
Part 10.
In the bedroom, Daniel and Janet froze in mid-yell as they heard the slam of the front door and then Janet was dodging around Daniel to yank open the bedroom door. "Sam.Aaaah!"
Daniel swore as he lifted Janet off her feet and stumbled backwards to the bed. "We haven't finished talking yet." He yelped as she flailed with a clenched fist and managed to catch his eye. "Stop that!"
Janet abandoned all dignity as she writhed against his hold and raked her nails over his arms. "Put me down, you son of a bitch!" She kicked wildly as his hold loosened and yelled furiously. "Let me go."
Daniel's eyes widened as he lost his balance and toppled to land heavily on the mattress behind him. He oofed as Janet's weight fell squarely on his midsection, but managed to turn them so she was trapped face down between him and the bed while he got his breath back. "Calm down.you'll hurt yourself." He grunted as her elbow slammed into his ribs. "Cut it out!"
"Get off me!" Janet writhed under him and felt hot tears spurt from her eyes. "Just get off me."
Daniel heard her voice catch and hurriedly scrambled up before tugging Janet onto her back. "Jan, God, don't cry. I'm sorry." He gathered her rigid figure in his arms as she began to shake. "I didn't mean to make you cry."
"That's all you ever do." Furious with herself, Janet tried to swipe at her tears and wriggle away from him at the same time. "Over and over again, I don't want that any more."
"Neither do I." Daniel tightened his arms desperately. "I don't want that either, Janet. Just give me a chance to make it up to you and I swear I won't do it again. I love you, I just want to make you happy."
Janet went limp in his arms and whispered painfully. "Stop saying that."
"I can't." Daniel pulled her even tighter against him and closed his eyes as he felt his own tears start. "I can't." He brought one hand up to tangle in her hair and rocked her in his arms. "I'm so in love with you."
"Daniel, you need to let me go." Janet tried to sniff back her tears and remain unaffected by his body wrapped around her. "This is never going to happen."
If Daniel hadn't felt the wetness of her tears through his shirt and heard the telling break in her voice he would have had no choice but to let her go and watch her walk out of his life, but he heard and felt her distress and if there was one thing Daniel Jackson had never been called, it was a quitter. "Why not?" He laid her back on the bed and scrubbed one forearm over his eyes as he kept the other on her shoulder to hold her in place. "I love you and I know you still care about me. We could try again, it would be different this time, I know enough now to make it different."
"Daniel, you can't change who you are." Janet's eyes were wide with pain in her face and she shook her head back and forth as she lay on the bed. "You just can't say you'll be different because you want to be."
"Yes, I can." Daniel knelt over Janet and blinked earnestly down at her. "How I was with you before, that wasn't really me, I swear. This is me; the person that's so in love with you that he'll keep you locked in his bedroom until you listen to him or that will cause inter-galactic incidents just to keep you with me. I wanted to show you how I felt before but I just couldn't. I felt like if I let myself get to attached or let myself care too much you'd get taken away from me and I didn't want to lose you and Cass. I know I screwed up, Jan, but all I want is for the three of us to be together and to try and make it work."
"Daniel." Janet closed her eyes wearily. "This isn't fair, you don't know what it cost me to get over you, I can't go through that again."
"You won't have to, I promise." Sensing an opening, Daniel pushed desperately at the small cracks in her armour. "Just let me come back and make it all up to you." He touched her face lightly and smiled shakily as she opened her eyes. "I could be so good for you, Jan."
"Oh, Daniel." Janet's heart turned over in her chest as she looked up at him. "I want to believe you so much, but." She jumped as his lips suddenly brushed hers and felt her body come alive at the familiar touch. "Dammit."
Daniel put everything he had into the kiss, pouring all the love and fear of losing Janet into it, moving his mouth desperately over hers as he tried to stop the words leaving her lips. He groaned as she remained rigid under him for what seemed like eternity and then moaned again as she began to respond to his touch. His arms came around her tightly and he cupped the back of her skull as he angled his head to deepen the kiss, starting to tremble as her hands rested on his shoulders and then speared into his hair to hold him to her. Daniel pulled back and drew the tip of his tongue over Janet's bottom lip. "Don't send me away again, Janet, let me be with you."
Janet shuddered as his breath skated over the wetness of her lips and tried to focus against the pull his nearness always had on her. "Daniel, I can't think straight."
"Good." Daniel let his hand drift over the curves of her body and whispered. "Don't think, just tell me that you still want me."
Janet couldn't help the sigh at the path his warm hand took over her body and tried to fight against the heavenly feel of him so close to her after so long. "It doesn't matter that I want you physically, Daniel." She turned her face to the side as he tried to capture her lips once more and sighed dejectedly. "No, no more. If you want to talk, then we'll talk but we can't do this now."
Daniel bent his head and squeezed his eyes shut as he nuzzled her neck for a moment before nodding reluctantly. "Ok, ok, you're right, this isn't solving anything." He took one more breath and then eased his arms from around her as he sat up. "We'll talk."
Janet lay still on the bed for a moment, already missing his warmth, and then slowly sat up beside him. She ran shaking fingers through her hair and tried to calm her frantically racing heart. "I'm sorry."
Daniel kept his eyes on the floor and shrugged. "What do you have to be sorry for? I'm the one that screwed everything up." He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to smile. "I just don't know a good thing when I have it."
"Daniel, that's not true." Janet sighed and watched as her fingers twisted together nervously on her lap. "We're just in very different places in our lives and what we had just wasn't right for either of us."
Daniel opened his mouth to automatically protest her words and then paused before nodding in agreement. "You're right, it wasn't. Jan, what you offered me I couldn't accept then. You gave everything you had so openly and without any thought for the consequences and I was terrified of hurting you and Cassie. I've got no idea how to be in a family and it was so confusing trying to fit in with you both, you're such a unit."
Janet sucked in a breath as Daniel revealed more to her in ten seconds than he had in their entire relationship. "Why didn't you talk to me, Daniel? I could have helped you."
"I don't want to always have to be the one that needs taking care of." Frustrated Daniel got to his feet and began to pace. "I wanted, just for once, to be the strong one. I wanted to take care of you."
Janet watched him walk up and down and shook her head in exasperation. "Daniel, I don't need taking looking after, I just needed you to show you cared."
"That was the problem, I cared too much, however much I tried not to." Daniel scrubbed his hands through his hair and tried to find the right words. "I felt like I couldn't breath every time we were apart and then when you told me it was over it nearly destroyed me. I was watching everything I did so carefully, I completely missed the fact that I was hurting you and pushing you away."
Janet stared at his miserable figure and shook her head. "You're a very complicated man, do you know that?"
Surprised into a rueful laugh, Daniel looked up at her with his heart in his eyes. "You have no idea."
Janet held his gaze in silence for a moment before looking away. "I don't know what to believe anymore, Daniel. You were so cold for so long."
"But not anymore." Daniel fought the urge to cup her face in his hands and make her look at him to see the truth in his eyes and instead lowered his voice pleadingly. "I'm not cold anymore, Janet. Just give me one last chance and let me prove it to you. When you died on that damn planet I thought I'd lost you for good, I don't know how to live without you in my life anymore."
Janet kept her eyes on the carpet and her hands clenched against the cover as she tried to maintain the icy wall she had built so carefully around her broken heart. The last few weeks had been pure torture as she had tried to go on with her life without the even the crumbs she had gotten used to from Daniel before and she was almost convinced that even going back to that was better than the purgatory she had found herself in without him. Her head bowed as the tears came once more and her shoulders shook as she tried to fight them back. "Janet, please don't." Daniel's voice rose in his agitation. "I love you, don't cry."
"I.I'm sorry." Janet swiped futilely at her tears. "I'm still shaky from what happened I guess."
"I know, God I know." Daniel felt again the sheer terror of her dying in his arms and cried in anguish. "You have no idea what it was like seeing you so hurt and slipping away from me, I felt so helpless."
Janet froze in the act of swiping at her running nose and raised her head to stare at him. "What did you just say?" She pushed herself to her feet and advanced on him, more furious than she had ever been in her life. "I have no idea what it's like to watch someone I love die? You bastard!"
Daniel staggered back as she swung out wildly and hit his chest. "Ow! What was that for?" Unable to understand the lightening transformation from weeping female to battle-ready Amazon, he could do nothing but stare at her as she swung out again.
"You arrogant, selfish, inconsiderate." Words failed Janet and she kicked out as Daniel caught her wrists and held them immobile above her head. "How many times have I had to watch you nearly die on my table? How many times have I had to watch over you in yet another goddamn coma from whatever damn fool mission you've gone off on without thinking about the pain you put the people left behind through?" She was unaware of the pain in her bare foot as she continued kicking at his shins. "You sonofabitch!"
********************************
Downstairs in Daniel's living room, four people were staring in horror at the ceiling as Daniel's emotional voice had floated down the stairs. Jack was frozen with a burger half way to his mouth and jumped in his seat as Janet's irate reply had set the windows rattling. "Holy cow, Code 9, we have a Code 9 situation, please evacuate the building." Muttering frantically to himself, Jack shoved his food into a paper sack on the table and grabbed Cassie's hand. "We're at Defcon 5 people, lets move it on out."
"Sir, we can't leave them like this." Sam gasped with shock as Teal'c took a firm grip on her elbow and yanked her none to gently towards the front door. "Teal'c!"
"I believe DanielJackson has just made a profoundly stupid remark, Major Carter." The Jaffa hustled Sam through the door after Jack and the objecting Cassie and closed it behind him. "It would be best if we were not here to witness the consequences."
"But we can't just take Cassie and disappear." Sam gasped again as Teal'c opened the rear passenger door to Jack's truck and bundled her inside next to the white faced teenager. "Sir!"
"Teal'c, let's go!" Jack cast a last sympathetic look up at Daniel's bedroom window and punched the gas over Cassie and Sam's protests. "Good luck, Spacemonkey, you're gonna need it."
***************************
"Janet, stop." Daniel was forced to hop from foot to foot in an undignified bid to stop Janet breaking both his shins. "Calm down."
"You bastard." Janet was still tugging on Daniel's hold on her wrists as she continued to kick out. "How can you have said that? How can you think I don't know what its like?"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Giving up on Janet calming down, Daniel let go of her wrists and pulled her into his body to wrap her tightly in his arms. "I didn't think."
"You never do." Janet held herself rigid in his embrace. "You never, ever do."
"I know." Daniel bent his head down to press his face into her hair. "I'm so sorry."
"Stop saying that." Janet pushed her face against Daniel's chest in a bid to block out his words and felt his heart pound furiously against her cheek. "Stop apologising, Daniel, you can't make this better with words and empty promises." She didn't feel his body tense against her, too lost in her own pain to feel his. "It doesn't work like that."
Daniel stared blindly at the carpet as his heart splintered in his chest and was mildly surprised to find that the pain of the final rejection was almost a relief after the intense roller coaster of emotion he had been on for the past twenty-four hours. His arms tightened around Janet's body, desperate to memorise the last moments of her warmth against him before he let her go for the last time. The scent of her body, mingled with the smell of the fabric softener on his sweatshirt, made his senses swim as he breathed her in for the last time and then slowly and reluctantly his arms fell away as he stepped back and nodded. "So that's it. Ok." He kept his face averted as he nodded again. "I'll go and tell Cass to get her stuff together."
Janet watched as he turned away from her and blinked in confusion. "Daniel, where are you going?"
"It's probably better that we just make a clean break, I'll call General Hammond in the morning and tell him that I'm not coming back to the SGC." On automatic pilot, Daniel didn't see the door still hanging open in front of him and walked straight into the edge of the thick wood with a nasty crunching sound. "Christ!" He reeled backwards clutching his face. "Oh Christ!"
"Daniel!" Janet clutched at his arm as he staggered into her and almost toppled under his weight. "Are you alright? Let me see."
"I'm fine." Wanting nothing more than to curl up in a dark corner somewhere and sob himself unconscious, Daniel was forced to endure the humiliation of the woman that had rejected his tender heart trying to care for his battered face. "Leave it, I said I'm fine."
Relieved to be back on the familiar ground of taking care of yet another Jackson self-inflicted injury, Janet went into CMO mode with barely a flicker. "Well I'd feel a lot better if I could make sure that you haven't cracked your skull open. Again." She tugged on his forearm. "Come and sit down and let me take a look."
Daniel found himself being dragged across his bedroom floor, disgusted that he was so desperate for one more touch from Janet's hands that he couldn't make himself pull free of her loose grasp. He let himself get pushed down on the bed, closing his eyes as she stepped between his legs and her hands cupped his face as she tilted it up to the fading light. Soft fingers prodded his sore nose and he sighed as the heat from Janet's fingertips warmed his own frigid skin. "It doesn't look like you broke it." Janet skimmed the length of his nose with one light knuckle and then let her hand rest against his cheek. "Although you're going to have a heck of a bruise, I think."
"It doesn't matter." Daniel opened his eyes and found that Janet was mere inches away, standing between his spread thighs. "I'm ok."
"Liar." Janet felt her heart pick up pace as she looked into his forlorn eyes and smiled as she stroked a strand of hair back from his forehead. "That's one of the things I've always hated about you, Jackson. You could be sitting in my infirmary with a hole in you the size of a baseball and that's the only thing we'd hear until we knocked you unconscious." She inched closer and briefly enjoyed the fact that she didn't have to look up into his eyes for a change but they were on the same level, and sighed in surrender. "It's one of the things I love most about you, as well."
Daniel tensed under her gentle touch. "Don't. Its ok if you don't want to start over but don't say things you don't mean, Janet." His breath escaped his lips on a shaky sigh. "I can't take that."
"See, there's my problem." Janet didn't look in his eyes but watched her fingers trace the line of his cheek and then his full mouth. "It seems I can't help but mean it. No matter how much you hurt me I can't switch off what I feel for you and that really annoys me." She smiled mockingly as his mouth opened slightly under her touch and then skated her fingers down to stroke his jaw. "Why so surprised, Doctor Jackson? You won, you got what you wanted."
Daniel swore his heart jumped into his throat and then fell back into his chest at her soft words. "I did?" He sat, hardly daring to move in case he did something stupid to frighten her off, as he asked the next question. "What did I win?"
"Me." Janet's hands slipped around the back of his neck and she bent her head to rest her forehead against his with a weary sigh. "Me and Cass, if you meant what you said."
Daniel blinked and then slowly, hesitantly, his arms crept around her waist and he pulled her towards him. When she didn't resist but followed willingly, he ducked his head to press his face against her stomach and squeezed as tightly as he could when she wrapped her arms around him and returned his embrace. They rocked together for a long time, both content just to hold the other and then finally Daniel pulled back and looked uncertainly up into Janet's eyes. "So, this means you won't leave me again, right?"
"Yes, Daniel." Janet tried to smile but found she couldn't remember how as she saw the look of wonder and worry in his eyes. "It means I won't leave you again."
"Ok." Daniel felt the sick ball of terror and rejection in his gut loosen and eased her back so he could stand up and cup her face in his hands. "And you'll stay here and won't go back to your house?"
"Well, I'll have to go home sometime." Janet broke off as his lips found hers and kissed her with exquisite tenderness.
Daniel stroked a stray hair back from her face as he broke away and repeated. "You'll stay here with me, won't you? You and Cass. Don't make me pee on you."
"What?" Janet shook her head dazedly and tried to laugh at the intense look in his eyes. "Daniel, we can't stay here indefinitely, that's ridiculous. We can't just move in here." She caught her breath as he continued to watch her silently and spluttered in shock. "You want us to move in here with you?"
"Well, yeah." Daniel frowned at her dumbfounded expression. "What did you think I meant? I figured that we could go and get some stuff from your house this weekend, just to keep you going, and then on Monday when Cass goes back to school we can maybe go through our stuff and decide what we want to keep and then put the rest in storage. When we've done that we could go talk to General Hammond and see when we can arrange everyone's schedules to fit the wedding."
"Wedding?" Janet's mouth fell open and she repeated faintly. "Wedding?"
"Uh-huh." Daniel eyed her suddenly pale face in concern. "Are you feeling alright, do you want to sit down?" Without waiting for an answer he spun them round and pushed her down onto the bed as he placed a worried hand to her forehead. "You don't feel like you're running a fever."
"We're getting married?!" Janet's eyes were bulging in her white face.
"Um." Daniel frowned as he realised that he may have overlooked a vital part of his long-term plan in the confusion of the emotional roller coaster he had been riding for the last few hours and sat next to her on the bed. "I thought I asked you?" Janet shook her head numbly and he stared blankly at her before shaking his own head. "Huh, I could have sworn I mentioned it. Ok, well here goes. Janet, I really love you and Cassie and I want you both to be mine. Will you marry me?"
"Married?" Janet was aware she was squeaking but could think of no way to lower her voice. "You and me?"
Daniel shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "Yeah, I know that you've been doing a great job with Cassie on your own, and obviously she'd nearly grown up, but I don't think we should just live together without some kind of formal acknowledgement as it might be confusing for her, and in many cultures." He sucked in a breath as she silenced him with her lips and then greedily gathered her close to him as her tongue invaded his mouth.
Long, breathless moments later, Janet broke the kiss and smiled tearfully into Daniel's dazed eyes. "You really mean everything you said."
"Uh-huh." Daniel nodded and cleared his throat. "I really did, can you do that again? Please?"
"You really love me." Janet bit her lip and sniffed back her tears. "You really, really do."
Daniel nodded agreeably. "I know, I thought I covered that when I held up our allies at gunpoint to bring you back from the dead and locked you up in my house." He plucked her off the bed and onto his lap to straddle his thighs. "Now, about that kiss."
"I love you." Janet brushed her lips over his and grinned foolishly into his eyes. "I love you so much."
Daniel paused in his attempts to fumble his way under the voluminous sweatshirt she was wearing. "Ok, that works too." He took a deep breath as he realised the pain of the last few weeks was at an end and he'd finally managed to get it right. "And you're going to marry me?" Janet nodded and his smile lit up the room as he turned them and took them down onto the mattress. He paused to fix the memory of her lying in his arms, smiling lovingly into his eyes forever in his mind and then bent his head to kiss her senseless.
*******************************
The following Monday morning, Daniel pulled up outside Cassie's school and turned off the ignition. "Have a good day, Cassie." Janet smiled at her daughter as Cassie climbed out of the backseat of the car and waved to a small group of girls in front of the school. "Don't forget to notify the office about your change of address."
"Ok, Mom." Cassie leaned down and poked her head through the driver's window and held out her hand expectantly to Daniel. "Lunch money?"
"Oh, um." Daniel grabbed his wallet from the side pocket in his car door and fumbled out a twenty. "Is this enough?"
"Cassie!" Janet snatched the bill from Daniel's hand before her daughter's sticky fingers closed on it. "Daniel, you don't have to give her any money, I already gave her some. And a twenty is way too much."
"Worth a try." Completely unrepentant, Cassie straightened and turned as three of her friends drew level with them. "Hey guys."
"Hi." Janine, Cassie's best friend, peered with interest into the car. "Hey Mrs Fraiser."
"Hi Janine." Janet smiled and grinned in amusement as the three girls subjected Daniel to a prolonged session of fascinated staring. "How are you?"
"Fine, thank you." Janine kept her eyes on Daniel. "Hello."
"Uh, hi." Daniel flexed his hands uncomfortably on the steering wheel as Cassie's friends stood silently watching him. "Um, Cass, aren't you going to be late?"
"Nope." Grinning cheerfully, Cassie tucked her arm through Janine's. "We're good."
"Hey, aren't you the guy who came and dragged Cassie out of school last week?" Claire, a perky red head, snapped her gum and tilted her head to the side curiously. "I heard you had a majorly big fight with the principal."
Aware he was flushing a brilliant shade of crimson, Daniel coughed. "No, er, we just had a small discussion and things got a little.heated."
"Well I heard this huge soldier guy went nutso and kidnapped Cassie after he beat up her teacher." Evidently unimpressed with the reality rather than the rumour, the slender black girl at the back of small group sniffed. "You don't look so tough to me."
Cassie sniggered, rather cruelly in Daniel's opinion, and conveniently forgot his current hazardous profession. "Daniel, tough?" She sniggered again. "He's just Daniel." She finally took pity on him and released Janine to bend once more and blow a kiss to her mother before planting her lips on Daniel's cheek. "We're gonna go in, I'll see you later." Open-mouthed, Daniel watched her walk away with her friends, explaining matter-of-factly. "He's kinda my new dad, mom's getting married again."
"No way!" Deeply impressed, the girls turned as one and stared back the archaeologist. "Your mom's marrying him?" Janine stared incredulously at Janet and then at Daniel. "But he's so."
"Daniel." Cassie rolled her eyes and herded her friends towards the school doors. "Trust me, the hotness wears off once he's used your sixty dollar, one of a kind new top to clean some old rock he's had lying around his house since forever." Her voice floated back clear as a bell as she climbed the school steps. "He may look good but, believe me, he's gonna be a pain to live with."
"Hey!" Daniel scowled. "That's unfair."
"You, what about me?" Janet, smarting over Janine's disbelief that she could attract someone like Daniel, glared after her daughter. "You're hot, apparently I'm about as attractive as your average Go'uald. In it's natural state."
Daniel began to grin. "She said I was her dad."
Still annoyed, Janet snorted. "Believe me, the novelty will wear off once you start spending your weekends chauffeuring her and her air head friends around and coughing up cash every five minutes."
Daniel grinned wider as he glanced at the school and then back at his fiancée. "It's never going to wear off. She's going to let me be her dad."
Janet shook her head at the expression of sheer excitement in his eyes at Cassie's easy acceptance of him and then grinned as something over his shoulder caught her eye. "See that kid in the leather jacket?" She waited until Daniel turned and saw a dark haired boy lounging against the school wall, good looking face set in an sneer of teenage superiority as he watched a group of young giggling girls hurry past him. "That's the kid that's taking your daughter out on a date Friday night, daddy."
"What?" Daniel blinked worriedly at the confident looking youth, a small niggle of uneasiness starting in his belly. "He looks way too old for her."
"Joey Abretti, apparently the hottest boy in school." Smirking evilly, Janet patted Daniel's shoulder. "Seventeen years old and five foot eleven of teenage hormones and angst wrapped up in the skin of a born libertine. And he rides a motorbike."
"Hmm, Friday night, right?" Daniel shot the unfortunate Joey a measuring look as he turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb. "That's a coincidence, I'm having Jack and Teal'c over for a couple of beers that night, they should be there when he comes to pick up Cassie." And they'd be there in full uniform and armed with zat guns if he had anything to say about it.
A surprised laugh spluttered from Janet's mouth. "That's mean, Dr Jackson."
"Just call me Doctor Evil from now on." Daniel glanced in the rear view mirror as he turned the corner and smiled happily at Janet's appreciative giggles as he concluded thoughtfully. "And I'm driving them on Friday night." Motorbike his butt!
The End.
Ok, that's it. Thanks to everyone on the danandjan list that made writing this fic such fun and were so kind to a new SG1 author. Once again, special thanks to Amy for being fantastic and allowing me to partly blame her for the creation of this fic. I'm looking forward to a long and fruitful relationship of stealing inspiration for fics from her marvellous vids.
Part 10.
In the bedroom, Daniel and Janet froze in mid-yell as they heard the slam of the front door and then Janet was dodging around Daniel to yank open the bedroom door. "Sam.Aaaah!"
Daniel swore as he lifted Janet off her feet and stumbled backwards to the bed. "We haven't finished talking yet." He yelped as she flailed with a clenched fist and managed to catch his eye. "Stop that!"
Janet abandoned all dignity as she writhed against his hold and raked her nails over his arms. "Put me down, you son of a bitch!" She kicked wildly as his hold loosened and yelled furiously. "Let me go."
Daniel's eyes widened as he lost his balance and toppled to land heavily on the mattress behind him. He oofed as Janet's weight fell squarely on his midsection, but managed to turn them so she was trapped face down between him and the bed while he got his breath back. "Calm down.you'll hurt yourself." He grunted as her elbow slammed into his ribs. "Cut it out!"
"Get off me!" Janet writhed under him and felt hot tears spurt from her eyes. "Just get off me."
Daniel heard her voice catch and hurriedly scrambled up before tugging Janet onto her back. "Jan, God, don't cry. I'm sorry." He gathered her rigid figure in his arms as she began to shake. "I didn't mean to make you cry."
"That's all you ever do." Furious with herself, Janet tried to swipe at her tears and wriggle away from him at the same time. "Over and over again, I don't want that any more."
"Neither do I." Daniel tightened his arms desperately. "I don't want that either, Janet. Just give me a chance to make it up to you and I swear I won't do it again. I love you, I just want to make you happy."
Janet went limp in his arms and whispered painfully. "Stop saying that."
"I can't." Daniel pulled her even tighter against him and closed his eyes as he felt his own tears start. "I can't." He brought one hand up to tangle in her hair and rocked her in his arms. "I'm so in love with you."
"Daniel, you need to let me go." Janet tried to sniff back her tears and remain unaffected by his body wrapped around her. "This is never going to happen."
If Daniel hadn't felt the wetness of her tears through his shirt and heard the telling break in her voice he would have had no choice but to let her go and watch her walk out of his life, but he heard and felt her distress and if there was one thing Daniel Jackson had never been called, it was a quitter. "Why not?" He laid her back on the bed and scrubbed one forearm over his eyes as he kept the other on her shoulder to hold her in place. "I love you and I know you still care about me. We could try again, it would be different this time, I know enough now to make it different."
"Daniel, you can't change who you are." Janet's eyes were wide with pain in her face and she shook her head back and forth as she lay on the bed. "You just can't say you'll be different because you want to be."
"Yes, I can." Daniel knelt over Janet and blinked earnestly down at her. "How I was with you before, that wasn't really me, I swear. This is me; the person that's so in love with you that he'll keep you locked in his bedroom until you listen to him or that will cause inter-galactic incidents just to keep you with me. I wanted to show you how I felt before but I just couldn't. I felt like if I let myself get to attached or let myself care too much you'd get taken away from me and I didn't want to lose you and Cass. I know I screwed up, Jan, but all I want is for the three of us to be together and to try and make it work."
"Daniel." Janet closed her eyes wearily. "This isn't fair, you don't know what it cost me to get over you, I can't go through that again."
"You won't have to, I promise." Sensing an opening, Daniel pushed desperately at the small cracks in her armour. "Just let me come back and make it all up to you." He touched her face lightly and smiled shakily as she opened her eyes. "I could be so good for you, Jan."
"Oh, Daniel." Janet's heart turned over in her chest as she looked up at him. "I want to believe you so much, but." She jumped as his lips suddenly brushed hers and felt her body come alive at the familiar touch. "Dammit."
Daniel put everything he had into the kiss, pouring all the love and fear of losing Janet into it, moving his mouth desperately over hers as he tried to stop the words leaving her lips. He groaned as she remained rigid under him for what seemed like eternity and then moaned again as she began to respond to his touch. His arms came around her tightly and he cupped the back of her skull as he angled his head to deepen the kiss, starting to tremble as her hands rested on his shoulders and then speared into his hair to hold him to her. Daniel pulled back and drew the tip of his tongue over Janet's bottom lip. "Don't send me away again, Janet, let me be with you."
Janet shuddered as his breath skated over the wetness of her lips and tried to focus against the pull his nearness always had on her. "Daniel, I can't think straight."
"Good." Daniel let his hand drift over the curves of her body and whispered. "Don't think, just tell me that you still want me."
Janet couldn't help the sigh at the path his warm hand took over her body and tried to fight against the heavenly feel of him so close to her after so long. "It doesn't matter that I want you physically, Daniel." She turned her face to the side as he tried to capture her lips once more and sighed dejectedly. "No, no more. If you want to talk, then we'll talk but we can't do this now."
Daniel bent his head and squeezed his eyes shut as he nuzzled her neck for a moment before nodding reluctantly. "Ok, ok, you're right, this isn't solving anything." He took one more breath and then eased his arms from around her as he sat up. "We'll talk."
Janet lay still on the bed for a moment, already missing his warmth, and then slowly sat up beside him. She ran shaking fingers through her hair and tried to calm her frantically racing heart. "I'm sorry."
Daniel kept his eyes on the floor and shrugged. "What do you have to be sorry for? I'm the one that screwed everything up." He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to smile. "I just don't know a good thing when I have it."
"Daniel, that's not true." Janet sighed and watched as her fingers twisted together nervously on her lap. "We're just in very different places in our lives and what we had just wasn't right for either of us."
Daniel opened his mouth to automatically protest her words and then paused before nodding in agreement. "You're right, it wasn't. Jan, what you offered me I couldn't accept then. You gave everything you had so openly and without any thought for the consequences and I was terrified of hurting you and Cassie. I've got no idea how to be in a family and it was so confusing trying to fit in with you both, you're such a unit."
Janet sucked in a breath as Daniel revealed more to her in ten seconds than he had in their entire relationship. "Why didn't you talk to me, Daniel? I could have helped you."
"I don't want to always have to be the one that needs taking care of." Frustrated Daniel got to his feet and began to pace. "I wanted, just for once, to be the strong one. I wanted to take care of you."
Janet watched him walk up and down and shook her head in exasperation. "Daniel, I don't need taking looking after, I just needed you to show you cared."
"That was the problem, I cared too much, however much I tried not to." Daniel scrubbed his hands through his hair and tried to find the right words. "I felt like I couldn't breath every time we were apart and then when you told me it was over it nearly destroyed me. I was watching everything I did so carefully, I completely missed the fact that I was hurting you and pushing you away."
Janet stared at his miserable figure and shook her head. "You're a very complicated man, do you know that?"
Surprised into a rueful laugh, Daniel looked up at her with his heart in his eyes. "You have no idea."
Janet held his gaze in silence for a moment before looking away. "I don't know what to believe anymore, Daniel. You were so cold for so long."
"But not anymore." Daniel fought the urge to cup her face in his hands and make her look at him to see the truth in his eyes and instead lowered his voice pleadingly. "I'm not cold anymore, Janet. Just give me one last chance and let me prove it to you. When you died on that damn planet I thought I'd lost you for good, I don't know how to live without you in my life anymore."
Janet kept her eyes on the carpet and her hands clenched against the cover as she tried to maintain the icy wall she had built so carefully around her broken heart. The last few weeks had been pure torture as she had tried to go on with her life without the even the crumbs she had gotten used to from Daniel before and she was almost convinced that even going back to that was better than the purgatory she had found herself in without him. Her head bowed as the tears came once more and her shoulders shook as she tried to fight them back. "Janet, please don't." Daniel's voice rose in his agitation. "I love you, don't cry."
"I.I'm sorry." Janet swiped futilely at her tears. "I'm still shaky from what happened I guess."
"I know, God I know." Daniel felt again the sheer terror of her dying in his arms and cried in anguish. "You have no idea what it was like seeing you so hurt and slipping away from me, I felt so helpless."
Janet froze in the act of swiping at her running nose and raised her head to stare at him. "What did you just say?" She pushed herself to her feet and advanced on him, more furious than she had ever been in her life. "I have no idea what it's like to watch someone I love die? You bastard!"
Daniel staggered back as she swung out wildly and hit his chest. "Ow! What was that for?" Unable to understand the lightening transformation from weeping female to battle-ready Amazon, he could do nothing but stare at her as she swung out again.
"You arrogant, selfish, inconsiderate." Words failed Janet and she kicked out as Daniel caught her wrists and held them immobile above her head. "How many times have I had to watch you nearly die on my table? How many times have I had to watch over you in yet another goddamn coma from whatever damn fool mission you've gone off on without thinking about the pain you put the people left behind through?" She was unaware of the pain in her bare foot as she continued kicking at his shins. "You sonofabitch!"
********************************
Downstairs in Daniel's living room, four people were staring in horror at the ceiling as Daniel's emotional voice had floated down the stairs. Jack was frozen with a burger half way to his mouth and jumped in his seat as Janet's irate reply had set the windows rattling. "Holy cow, Code 9, we have a Code 9 situation, please evacuate the building." Muttering frantically to himself, Jack shoved his food into a paper sack on the table and grabbed Cassie's hand. "We're at Defcon 5 people, lets move it on out."
"Sir, we can't leave them like this." Sam gasped with shock as Teal'c took a firm grip on her elbow and yanked her none to gently towards the front door. "Teal'c!"
"I believe DanielJackson has just made a profoundly stupid remark, Major Carter." The Jaffa hustled Sam through the door after Jack and the objecting Cassie and closed it behind him. "It would be best if we were not here to witness the consequences."
"But we can't just take Cassie and disappear." Sam gasped again as Teal'c opened the rear passenger door to Jack's truck and bundled her inside next to the white faced teenager. "Sir!"
"Teal'c, let's go!" Jack cast a last sympathetic look up at Daniel's bedroom window and punched the gas over Cassie and Sam's protests. "Good luck, Spacemonkey, you're gonna need it."
***************************
"Janet, stop." Daniel was forced to hop from foot to foot in an undignified bid to stop Janet breaking both his shins. "Calm down."
"You bastard." Janet was still tugging on Daniel's hold on her wrists as she continued to kick out. "How can you have said that? How can you think I don't know what its like?"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Giving up on Janet calming down, Daniel let go of her wrists and pulled her into his body to wrap her tightly in his arms. "I didn't think."
"You never do." Janet held herself rigid in his embrace. "You never, ever do."
"I know." Daniel bent his head down to press his face into her hair. "I'm so sorry."
"Stop saying that." Janet pushed her face against Daniel's chest in a bid to block out his words and felt his heart pound furiously against her cheek. "Stop apologising, Daniel, you can't make this better with words and empty promises." She didn't feel his body tense against her, too lost in her own pain to feel his. "It doesn't work like that."
Daniel stared blindly at the carpet as his heart splintered in his chest and was mildly surprised to find that the pain of the final rejection was almost a relief after the intense roller coaster of emotion he had been on for the past twenty-four hours. His arms tightened around Janet's body, desperate to memorise the last moments of her warmth against him before he let her go for the last time. The scent of her body, mingled with the smell of the fabric softener on his sweatshirt, made his senses swim as he breathed her in for the last time and then slowly and reluctantly his arms fell away as he stepped back and nodded. "So that's it. Ok." He kept his face averted as he nodded again. "I'll go and tell Cass to get her stuff together."
Janet watched as he turned away from her and blinked in confusion. "Daniel, where are you going?"
"It's probably better that we just make a clean break, I'll call General Hammond in the morning and tell him that I'm not coming back to the SGC." On automatic pilot, Daniel didn't see the door still hanging open in front of him and walked straight into the edge of the thick wood with a nasty crunching sound. "Christ!" He reeled backwards clutching his face. "Oh Christ!"
"Daniel!" Janet clutched at his arm as he staggered into her and almost toppled under his weight. "Are you alright? Let me see."
"I'm fine." Wanting nothing more than to curl up in a dark corner somewhere and sob himself unconscious, Daniel was forced to endure the humiliation of the woman that had rejected his tender heart trying to care for his battered face. "Leave it, I said I'm fine."
Relieved to be back on the familiar ground of taking care of yet another Jackson self-inflicted injury, Janet went into CMO mode with barely a flicker. "Well I'd feel a lot better if I could make sure that you haven't cracked your skull open. Again." She tugged on his forearm. "Come and sit down and let me take a look."
Daniel found himself being dragged across his bedroom floor, disgusted that he was so desperate for one more touch from Janet's hands that he couldn't make himself pull free of her loose grasp. He let himself get pushed down on the bed, closing his eyes as she stepped between his legs and her hands cupped his face as she tilted it up to the fading light. Soft fingers prodded his sore nose and he sighed as the heat from Janet's fingertips warmed his own frigid skin. "It doesn't look like you broke it." Janet skimmed the length of his nose with one light knuckle and then let her hand rest against his cheek. "Although you're going to have a heck of a bruise, I think."
"It doesn't matter." Daniel opened his eyes and found that Janet was mere inches away, standing between his spread thighs. "I'm ok."
"Liar." Janet felt her heart pick up pace as she looked into his forlorn eyes and smiled as she stroked a strand of hair back from his forehead. "That's one of the things I've always hated about you, Jackson. You could be sitting in my infirmary with a hole in you the size of a baseball and that's the only thing we'd hear until we knocked you unconscious." She inched closer and briefly enjoyed the fact that she didn't have to look up into his eyes for a change but they were on the same level, and sighed in surrender. "It's one of the things I love most about you, as well."
Daniel tensed under her gentle touch. "Don't. Its ok if you don't want to start over but don't say things you don't mean, Janet." His breath escaped his lips on a shaky sigh. "I can't take that."
"See, there's my problem." Janet didn't look in his eyes but watched her fingers trace the line of his cheek and then his full mouth. "It seems I can't help but mean it. No matter how much you hurt me I can't switch off what I feel for you and that really annoys me." She smiled mockingly as his mouth opened slightly under her touch and then skated her fingers down to stroke his jaw. "Why so surprised, Doctor Jackson? You won, you got what you wanted."
Daniel swore his heart jumped into his throat and then fell back into his chest at her soft words. "I did?" He sat, hardly daring to move in case he did something stupid to frighten her off, as he asked the next question. "What did I win?"
"Me." Janet's hands slipped around the back of his neck and she bent her head to rest her forehead against his with a weary sigh. "Me and Cass, if you meant what you said."
Daniel blinked and then slowly, hesitantly, his arms crept around her waist and he pulled her towards him. When she didn't resist but followed willingly, he ducked his head to press his face against her stomach and squeezed as tightly as he could when she wrapped her arms around him and returned his embrace. They rocked together for a long time, both content just to hold the other and then finally Daniel pulled back and looked uncertainly up into Janet's eyes. "So, this means you won't leave me again, right?"
"Yes, Daniel." Janet tried to smile but found she couldn't remember how as she saw the look of wonder and worry in his eyes. "It means I won't leave you again."
"Ok." Daniel felt the sick ball of terror and rejection in his gut loosen and eased her back so he could stand up and cup her face in his hands. "And you'll stay here and won't go back to your house?"
"Well, I'll have to go home sometime." Janet broke off as his lips found hers and kissed her with exquisite tenderness.
Daniel stroked a stray hair back from her face as he broke away and repeated. "You'll stay here with me, won't you? You and Cass. Don't make me pee on you."
"What?" Janet shook her head dazedly and tried to laugh at the intense look in his eyes. "Daniel, we can't stay here indefinitely, that's ridiculous. We can't just move in here." She caught her breath as he continued to watch her silently and spluttered in shock. "You want us to move in here with you?"
"Well, yeah." Daniel frowned at her dumbfounded expression. "What did you think I meant? I figured that we could go and get some stuff from your house this weekend, just to keep you going, and then on Monday when Cass goes back to school we can maybe go through our stuff and decide what we want to keep and then put the rest in storage. When we've done that we could go talk to General Hammond and see when we can arrange everyone's schedules to fit the wedding."
"Wedding?" Janet's mouth fell open and she repeated faintly. "Wedding?"
"Uh-huh." Daniel eyed her suddenly pale face in concern. "Are you feeling alright, do you want to sit down?" Without waiting for an answer he spun them round and pushed her down onto the bed as he placed a worried hand to her forehead. "You don't feel like you're running a fever."
"We're getting married?!" Janet's eyes were bulging in her white face.
"Um." Daniel frowned as he realised that he may have overlooked a vital part of his long-term plan in the confusion of the emotional roller coaster he had been riding for the last few hours and sat next to her on the bed. "I thought I asked you?" Janet shook her head numbly and he stared blankly at her before shaking his own head. "Huh, I could have sworn I mentioned it. Ok, well here goes. Janet, I really love you and Cassie and I want you both to be mine. Will you marry me?"
"Married?" Janet was aware she was squeaking but could think of no way to lower her voice. "You and me?"
Daniel shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "Yeah, I know that you've been doing a great job with Cassie on your own, and obviously she'd nearly grown up, but I don't think we should just live together without some kind of formal acknowledgement as it might be confusing for her, and in many cultures." He sucked in a breath as she silenced him with her lips and then greedily gathered her close to him as her tongue invaded his mouth.
Long, breathless moments later, Janet broke the kiss and smiled tearfully into Daniel's dazed eyes. "You really mean everything you said."
"Uh-huh." Daniel nodded and cleared his throat. "I really did, can you do that again? Please?"
"You really love me." Janet bit her lip and sniffed back her tears. "You really, really do."
Daniel nodded agreeably. "I know, I thought I covered that when I held up our allies at gunpoint to bring you back from the dead and locked you up in my house." He plucked her off the bed and onto his lap to straddle his thighs. "Now, about that kiss."
"I love you." Janet brushed her lips over his and grinned foolishly into his eyes. "I love you so much."
Daniel paused in his attempts to fumble his way under the voluminous sweatshirt she was wearing. "Ok, that works too." He took a deep breath as he realised the pain of the last few weeks was at an end and he'd finally managed to get it right. "And you're going to marry me?" Janet nodded and his smile lit up the room as he turned them and took them down onto the mattress. He paused to fix the memory of her lying in his arms, smiling lovingly into his eyes forever in his mind and then bent his head to kiss her senseless.
*******************************
The following Monday morning, Daniel pulled up outside Cassie's school and turned off the ignition. "Have a good day, Cassie." Janet smiled at her daughter as Cassie climbed out of the backseat of the car and waved to a small group of girls in front of the school. "Don't forget to notify the office about your change of address."
"Ok, Mom." Cassie leaned down and poked her head through the driver's window and held out her hand expectantly to Daniel. "Lunch money?"
"Oh, um." Daniel grabbed his wallet from the side pocket in his car door and fumbled out a twenty. "Is this enough?"
"Cassie!" Janet snatched the bill from Daniel's hand before her daughter's sticky fingers closed on it. "Daniel, you don't have to give her any money, I already gave her some. And a twenty is way too much."
"Worth a try." Completely unrepentant, Cassie straightened and turned as three of her friends drew level with them. "Hey guys."
"Hi." Janine, Cassie's best friend, peered with interest into the car. "Hey Mrs Fraiser."
"Hi Janine." Janet smiled and grinned in amusement as the three girls subjected Daniel to a prolonged session of fascinated staring. "How are you?"
"Fine, thank you." Janine kept her eyes on Daniel. "Hello."
"Uh, hi." Daniel flexed his hands uncomfortably on the steering wheel as Cassie's friends stood silently watching him. "Um, Cass, aren't you going to be late?"
"Nope." Grinning cheerfully, Cassie tucked her arm through Janine's. "We're good."
"Hey, aren't you the guy who came and dragged Cassie out of school last week?" Claire, a perky red head, snapped her gum and tilted her head to the side curiously. "I heard you had a majorly big fight with the principal."
Aware he was flushing a brilliant shade of crimson, Daniel coughed. "No, er, we just had a small discussion and things got a little.heated."
"Well I heard this huge soldier guy went nutso and kidnapped Cassie after he beat up her teacher." Evidently unimpressed with the reality rather than the rumour, the slender black girl at the back of small group sniffed. "You don't look so tough to me."
Cassie sniggered, rather cruelly in Daniel's opinion, and conveniently forgot his current hazardous profession. "Daniel, tough?" She sniggered again. "He's just Daniel." She finally took pity on him and released Janine to bend once more and blow a kiss to her mother before planting her lips on Daniel's cheek. "We're gonna go in, I'll see you later." Open-mouthed, Daniel watched her walk away with her friends, explaining matter-of-factly. "He's kinda my new dad, mom's getting married again."
"No way!" Deeply impressed, the girls turned as one and stared back the archaeologist. "Your mom's marrying him?" Janine stared incredulously at Janet and then at Daniel. "But he's so."
"Daniel." Cassie rolled her eyes and herded her friends towards the school doors. "Trust me, the hotness wears off once he's used your sixty dollar, one of a kind new top to clean some old rock he's had lying around his house since forever." Her voice floated back clear as a bell as she climbed the school steps. "He may look good but, believe me, he's gonna be a pain to live with."
"Hey!" Daniel scowled. "That's unfair."
"You, what about me?" Janet, smarting over Janine's disbelief that she could attract someone like Daniel, glared after her daughter. "You're hot, apparently I'm about as attractive as your average Go'uald. In it's natural state."
Daniel began to grin. "She said I was her dad."
Still annoyed, Janet snorted. "Believe me, the novelty will wear off once you start spending your weekends chauffeuring her and her air head friends around and coughing up cash every five minutes."
Daniel grinned wider as he glanced at the school and then back at his fiancée. "It's never going to wear off. She's going to let me be her dad."
Janet shook her head at the expression of sheer excitement in his eyes at Cassie's easy acceptance of him and then grinned as something over his shoulder caught her eye. "See that kid in the leather jacket?" She waited until Daniel turned and saw a dark haired boy lounging against the school wall, good looking face set in an sneer of teenage superiority as he watched a group of young giggling girls hurry past him. "That's the kid that's taking your daughter out on a date Friday night, daddy."
"What?" Daniel blinked worriedly at the confident looking youth, a small niggle of uneasiness starting in his belly. "He looks way too old for her."
"Joey Abretti, apparently the hottest boy in school." Smirking evilly, Janet patted Daniel's shoulder. "Seventeen years old and five foot eleven of teenage hormones and angst wrapped up in the skin of a born libertine. And he rides a motorbike."
"Hmm, Friday night, right?" Daniel shot the unfortunate Joey a measuring look as he turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb. "That's a coincidence, I'm having Jack and Teal'c over for a couple of beers that night, they should be there when he comes to pick up Cassie." And they'd be there in full uniform and armed with zat guns if he had anything to say about it.
A surprised laugh spluttered from Janet's mouth. "That's mean, Dr Jackson."
"Just call me Doctor Evil from now on." Daniel glanced in the rear view mirror as he turned the corner and smiled happily at Janet's appreciative giggles as he concluded thoughtfully. "And I'm driving them on Friday night." Motorbike his butt!
The End.
Ok, that's it. Thanks to everyone on the danandjan list that made writing this fic such fun and were so kind to a new SG1 author. Once again, special thanks to Amy for being fantastic and allowing me to partly blame her for the creation of this fic. I'm looking forward to a long and fruitful relationship of stealing inspiration for fics from her marvellous vids.