"The only thing absolute here is your total
lunacy!"
-Millenia, GrandiaII
It's so dark in here. So cold and dark..Roan? Big brother? Are you here? Why can't I see you? I can see blood and I can see corpses, but you are not here. If I let myself close my eyes, I am afraid I won't be able to open them. I'm scared and cold. I'm locked in this cold dark place without any clothes. Mama? Daddy? Are you here? No..they are not here...they are buried in the family graveyard at home. And my big sisters are buried in a mass grave somewhere in Neo China. Why did people bury them under the earth? I do not understand. I remember ever since I was a kid, boys and men would touch me a lot, and take off my clothes..everyone. My boxing instructor, my personal trainer, the government, the defense guys, people I didn't even know... daddy wasn't there then. But he was when Michelo Chariot did that to me. That was when I was little, Michelo shot daddy. Where did daddy go after Michelo shot him? Where did mommy go after I was born? Where is my big brother? Why am I in this place? It used to bother me when my personal trainer and my boxing instructor and the defense guys and the government would touch me and take off my clothes. But after a while, I never realized what was happening anymore. At first I said "No! Only Niko and D.J. can touch me!" but it didn't matter, because they kept doing it just the same. Why is everyone mean to me? Does everyone really hate me so much? There are times when I don't remember who I am..I remember now..my name is Clover Crocket and I am Neo America's Gundam Fighter. But now I am in this dark cold place, no longer at home. Is this what mommy and daddy wanted for me? I am like a little child, but I am a teenager, I don't know how old, maybe I'm 14 or maybe I'm 18..I don't know, because this place makes me child-like. In the universe of my mind, the dark, small, cold space I am in, I am 10 years old. In reality, outside of my poor distorted mind, I don't know how old I am. My hair is blue, my skin is smooth, my eyes are blue and I've got probably the best body in the colonies. Lots of boys and men like me, I like D.J. and Niko. I don't have friends anymore, no one wants to be my friend, no one likes me. All the people I talked about still do what they did, it hurts, but I don't feel the pain. They want to hurt daddy because he overrode so many of their decisions, but they are not hurting him. He is dead. I am alive. I am Clover, not Chibodee. I am not Chibodee. Chibodee was my daddy. I am Clover, not Chibodee. I will never be Chibodee because Chibodee is dead, just like Hinata and Aira and Freya..just like Katsuhiko and Ikari. Just like Shari, and Jun, and Nefertiri...just like Rex....and Niko's sister's friends. Everyone is dead. People do not exist. The world does not want them anymore, it is bored of playing with the human puppets.. We are not the earth's masters, we are its playthings. Terra is out master. Eventually my suffering will end, and all the people who fondle me and take off my clothes without permission will not exist. I will never be "hurt" again. Pain is bad. Pain and hate are what is killing Gaia. If we do not stop, Terra.Gaia...the earth..will die. I know it, but they do not. I feel the pain of the earth. I live in the colonies, but I hear the earth cry out in pain as humans kill it.
Humans kill everything. Everything, humans think being alive means it has to move. Everything is dead to them...they do not care.. The Native Americans from before the colonies were correct in their assumption that we are to serve the land, not be served by it. Humans have forgotten their wisdom. The wind, the trees, the stones, the very earth speaks to me. Other people do not hear or understand. No one cares. No one does. No one understands, to them, I am crazy. To them, I need to be locked up. To me, it is them who need that. I just listen to wind. It speaks to me. The trees cry out in pain, the earth moans. I wish I had the power to change the world.
"Grant me the power of revolution!!!"
-Utena Tenjou, Revolutionary Girl Utena
-Millenia, GrandiaII
It's so dark in here. So cold and dark..Roan? Big brother? Are you here? Why can't I see you? I can see blood and I can see corpses, but you are not here. If I let myself close my eyes, I am afraid I won't be able to open them. I'm scared and cold. I'm locked in this cold dark place without any clothes. Mama? Daddy? Are you here? No..they are not here...they are buried in the family graveyard at home. And my big sisters are buried in a mass grave somewhere in Neo China. Why did people bury them under the earth? I do not understand. I remember ever since I was a kid, boys and men would touch me a lot, and take off my clothes..everyone. My boxing instructor, my personal trainer, the government, the defense guys, people I didn't even know... daddy wasn't there then. But he was when Michelo Chariot did that to me. That was when I was little, Michelo shot daddy. Where did daddy go after Michelo shot him? Where did mommy go after I was born? Where is my big brother? Why am I in this place? It used to bother me when my personal trainer and my boxing instructor and the defense guys and the government would touch me and take off my clothes. But after a while, I never realized what was happening anymore. At first I said "No! Only Niko and D.J. can touch me!" but it didn't matter, because they kept doing it just the same. Why is everyone mean to me? Does everyone really hate me so much? There are times when I don't remember who I am..I remember now..my name is Clover Crocket and I am Neo America's Gundam Fighter. But now I am in this dark cold place, no longer at home. Is this what mommy and daddy wanted for me? I am like a little child, but I am a teenager, I don't know how old, maybe I'm 14 or maybe I'm 18..I don't know, because this place makes me child-like. In the universe of my mind, the dark, small, cold space I am in, I am 10 years old. In reality, outside of my poor distorted mind, I don't know how old I am. My hair is blue, my skin is smooth, my eyes are blue and I've got probably the best body in the colonies. Lots of boys and men like me, I like D.J. and Niko. I don't have friends anymore, no one wants to be my friend, no one likes me. All the people I talked about still do what they did, it hurts, but I don't feel the pain. They want to hurt daddy because he overrode so many of their decisions, but they are not hurting him. He is dead. I am alive. I am Clover, not Chibodee. I am not Chibodee. Chibodee was my daddy. I am Clover, not Chibodee. I will never be Chibodee because Chibodee is dead, just like Hinata and Aira and Freya..just like Katsuhiko and Ikari. Just like Shari, and Jun, and Nefertiri...just like Rex....and Niko's sister's friends. Everyone is dead. People do not exist. The world does not want them anymore, it is bored of playing with the human puppets.. We are not the earth's masters, we are its playthings. Terra is out master. Eventually my suffering will end, and all the people who fondle me and take off my clothes without permission will not exist. I will never be "hurt" again. Pain is bad. Pain and hate are what is killing Gaia. If we do not stop, Terra.Gaia...the earth..will die. I know it, but they do not. I feel the pain of the earth. I live in the colonies, but I hear the earth cry out in pain as humans kill it.
Humans kill everything. Everything, humans think being alive means it has to move. Everything is dead to them...they do not care.. The Native Americans from before the colonies were correct in their assumption that we are to serve the land, not be served by it. Humans have forgotten their wisdom. The wind, the trees, the stones, the very earth speaks to me. Other people do not hear or understand. No one cares. No one does. No one understands, to them, I am crazy. To them, I need to be locked up. To me, it is them who need that. I just listen to wind. It speaks to me. The trees cry out in pain, the earth moans. I wish I had the power to change the world.
"Grant me the power of revolution!!!"
-Utena Tenjou, Revolutionary Girl Utena