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Chapter 6-Wrong Number
All night I couldn't sleep, his face kept waking me up. I kept hearing his voice, feeling his presence near. Tossing and turning, I awoke every twenty minutes crying for no apparent reason. No dreams, just a constant picture floating in my mind, taunting me. I see him chained to that steel chair, bleeding, helpless. I can smell the raw and distinct scent of blood, his blood. His eyes drained of any life except for a longing for me to let him die. And I did, I killed him and no one understands that. No one understands me.
Why did he have to do that to me? Part of me hates him for doing this to me and then I remember his soft smile that made it hard for me to stand. After hours of this torture, I gave in and lay in my cave of darkness and cried. Sobbing like a child, I finally felt relief. I felt all the sorrow and anguish pour out of me and surround me, embracing me, keeping me safe. I can't deal with this any more, I want to go away from everything that is real and happy. I want to just be free of all this hurt and disappoint. I fall asleep listening to my silent sobs of truth, damp and cold, alone. The dim light of comfort sweeping over my flimsy self, relaxing me for once.
I awoke in a panic; I heard the phone off in the distance. Tears still gliding down my porcelain-like face. Pushing the warm covers off of my body, I fumble around the end table searching for the ringing phone. The blinding sunlight pouring in through the window disables my sight, causing me to knock over everything on the table, including the phone and countless other things of importance. Hanging halfway over the bed, the blood rushing to my head, already light-headed from my pity, I pick up the phone, oblivious to what was lying on the ground broken.
"Hello," a coarse sound emits from my throat, still trying to wake up. Dry salty tears slide into the open gap.
"Joey's Pizza."
"Wrong number."
He hung up. Why did Weiss have to keep Vaughn's words? Every time that I picked up the phone and heard those words, I died inside. Vaughn was supposed to be calling me, Vaughn was supposed to be meeting me at the warehouse, and Vaughn was supposed to watching out for my every move. Clinging onto the receiver, I couldn't breath. Why? I have heard those words for a year now in a different voice, in a different tone and every time, I feel the same. I feel lost, desperate, and empty. My eyes began to burn with a similar dampness, which I now greet with happiness that eventually will cascade down my already stained face.
Setting down the phone lightly on the empty table, I scour the floor for what I broke from my blindness. My clock, which doesn't really faze me because time doesn't matter to me any more, my lamp, fractured spraying the ground with remnants of it, my cell phone, and…. No, please no.
Jumping to my feet, tangled in the sheets, I fall to the ground cutting my arm on the shattered bits of lamp. I am in such a state of grief that I don't even mind the pain; in fact I find it quite welcoming and wish it hurt more. Gathering the numerous pieces of the broken frame, I cry into them. The antique frame he bought years ago. He bought for me. The only thing I have ever owned that had any link to him, any link to the truth. He had gotten for me, as a gift and I broke it.
"No, no. no. no." My cries became one long never-ending strand of no's. Placing the fractured pieces of his frame, drizzled with tears of regret, safely on my bed, I went to get ready to meet Weiss, not Vaughn. Never Vaughn, even though I wished I would see him when I rounded the corner of the warehouse. I never did. And I never will. No matter how hard I wish.
I got dressed not even realizing what I was putting on, thankfully it matched, and I walked out of my corner of the world, leaving the broken lamp and clock motionless on the floor. Picking up my purse off the counter, I saw another note that had my name on it. It was the same texture and color of the other two mysterious letters. The only thing different about this one was its message. It contained the usual message Don't Cry, but had other words tacked on, rushed like in a last minute decision. They were scrawled out hastily splotched with drops of tears, I could barely read it: It hurts when you cry.
A terrifying chill was sent down my spine, I suddenly glanced out the windows. It began to creep me out that someone was watching my every move and what were they referring to by "it"? Why did they have such a passion for following me, I was just a strand of dust blowing in the wind? I quickly stash the note away in my purse, which is full of all my secrets that I hide from the world.
Arriving at the warehouse, I see Weiss' car already there. Late. Great, another lie I will have to make up and force myself to speak. I walk into the bitter cold of the warehouse, and actually convince myself that I will see Vaughn sitting on the chair that he always sat on, staring at the corridor, waiting for me. Excited to see him again, to hear his voice, a smile begins to spread across my face, the first in a long time. When I rounded the corner and slid the gate back, my heart began to speed up in anticipation. He wasn't there and when I realized why Weiss was sitting in his chair, I couldn't help myself from breaking down. The smile quickly fading.
"Hey, what's wrong, Sydney?"
"Nothing, nothing is… nothing is wrong." I bring my eyes up to his, defying him, hoping he wouldn't keep interrogating me.
He didn't have to ask, I knew that he knew. He pulled me into his arms, but I didn't feel any safer. I felt worse, I pulled away immediately.
"So, what is the matter? I thought I had the week off?" My eyes staring off into the vacant chair where he was supposed to be seated.
"Well, you are not going to believe this but you're wish came true." He lowered his eyes trying to figure out the puzzled look that crept its way on my face. "Sydney, don't you get it? What's the one thing you have wished for?"
My head lowers, the only thing that I have been wishing for is Vaughn and I know for a fact that he wasn't what Weiss was talking about. "What?" I grind my fingers together, hoping he didn't notice the venom that was along with my question.
"SD-6 will be destroyed by this time tomorrow. You will be free."
My heart stopped. Is this a joke? His face lit up in telling me. But how? Every thing seemed to be spinning, including the empty chair that has managed to escape my mind.
"What?" My face in utter disbelief, stunned.
"Well after the disk you retrieved from the KGB which held all the businesses that dealt with SD-6, you were able to interrogate other groups and cause them to no longer work with SD-6, then this morning, I got the call form Devlin that tomorrow we will be attacking the Credit Dauphine or should I say SD-6."
"Oh my gosh, that's wonderful." A smile of hopeful thinking wound itself up onto my tortured face. I can't believe it. My heart begins to quicken and I can't stop smiling. Sloane is going to be gone, and I will be free. I will be free, no more lies, no more secrets, just the truth. "Wh…What am I going to do? Am I going in tomorrow?"
"No, you will stay at home until someone calls you like I do and then you will report to headquarters just to make sure you are safe. Ok?"
"Yes, I got it." My head still reeling from all the information that overwhelmed my senses with bliss. "Well, I have to go. I will see you tomorrow." I give him a quick hug that feels forced and terrible, but doesn't break the happiness that has finally found me.
Walking out of the warehouse, my echoing footsteps, dark and hollow, my happiness leaves me. I remember all the pain and hurt and confusion. I remember the frame that I broke, I remember my life. I remember my horrible past. And worst of all, I remember him. I remember that he is no longer alive. Leaving through the clinking of the steel gates, I remember how he would go first and open them for me. A gentleman, always.
The sunshine that had sunk its way through the clouds began to hide again, revealing only a gloomy light on everything. A rainstorm began and I let it go, hopefully washing away all of my memories, all of my past. With every step I take on the cold, unfriendly cement, a tear drops by my feet, echoing, reminding me. Opening my car door, I sink into the plush leather and sit still, staring off into the close steering wheel.
I want to be happy, I really do, but how can I be happy if I can't be seen with him out in the open. The thing that I have been aspiring for years now means nothing. It means nothing, because I have no one to talk to, no one to trust. SD-6 is gone and I am as well. Putting my car into gear, I wipe away the tears, almost on routine, and head towards the one place where I can feel a little bit of happiness. A smile, the third of the day, begins to take place of the tears; he will be so happy when he finds out that SD-6 is gone. I can't wait to tell him. Driving out of the parking lot I think to myself, what flowers should I bring him today?
*I know the angst!! But hey, the angst will clear away, just stay with me! Please review, I love them and the more you give me, the faster I can write the faster you can read it. Thanks. And please check out my other fics! And remember REVIEW!