The black cloaked figure moved swiftly through the snow. Remus stood
motionlessly at the same spot, speechless. He now knew why Lucius Malfoy
had called it 'emotional manipulation' and why it was many times worse than
simple torture. Through a simple kiss, Lucius Malfoy had effectively toyed
with his feelings, manipulating them in the precious minute's time.
The beginning tenderness had successfully persuaded Remus to believe that Lucius actually liked him and let down his guard. The swift-following harsh biting and licking was like a slap in the face. And all the pain and shock had been caused in one simple minute. So quick and effectively cruel.
Lucius' voice, as he wiped the red droplets away from his pale lips, was so detached and cool that it could literally slice metal and freeze oceans. Remus glanced at the black figure, cloaked in black which contrasted beautifully with the silver-blonde hair. So beautifully harsh and perfect. Remus knew he should not have been so affected by Lucius' cruelty.
He raised a finger to his lips, tracing where the crimson droplets had formed and been licked with a quick flick of the cool tongue. The coolness of Lucius' tongue was nothing, nothing but a bitter-sweet memory.
Fool, Remus wanted to kill himself. It was perfectly right and normal for Lucius to have behaved in that way, it was he who was wrong, and he should never have been so vulnerable in the older boy's presence. It was all his fault. There was no fault with Malfoy, the trouble lay with him. Why was he so affected by a dumb kiss?
He just needed a second and he understood what his subconscious had been blindly protecting him from. Somewhere along the lines of detention and taunting, he had fallen for Lucius Malfoy, supposedly arch-rival and bastard.
The answer was so simple.
And now, Remus knew that all he needed to do was to disentangle himself before another mistake was committed. So straight-forward. 'Talk's cheap,' he murmured miserably. 'But I'll try,' the last sentence sounded vaguely unsure. He didn't care. All he wanted now was a good rest. He was sure that after the good rest, everything would fall easily in place and his mistakes could be rectified quickly.
Remus sunk to his knees, ignoring the cold which had seemed threatening just minutes ago but was now welcoming, and shut his eyes. He lost track of time sometime between saying a prayer and singing an old country song his mother once taught him.
He felt himself seeping into winter's peace.
**************************
Sirius Black woke with a start. Dim rays of winter sunlight danced across his black hair. 'For hell of it,' he murmured incoherently before dragging himself out of bed. 'Remus, Remus,' he put a hand into the next cubicle and attempted to wake its occupant up only to find the bed empty. Now, Sirius Black was perfectly awake. He gasped as he drew apart the curtains to find an empty bed. From the neat bed sheets and pillow arrangement, he was sure Remus had not even returned to bed the night before.
'Holy shit,' he swore as he remembered that Remus had been with Malfoy for a detention. It must be that evil git, he's poisoned Moony, Sirius' eyes widened at the possibility and he immediately scrambled over his own bed to get to his neighbour's.
'Oh god, d'you reckon Malfoy's evil enough to poison Moony? I wouldn't put it past him,' Sirius was rattling as he jolted James awake. 'Huh? W-What the heck are you chanting about?' James tried to calm Sirius' mad frenzy as he grabbed his shirt and pulled it on.
'Moony!' Sirius began dramatically before resuming his violent shaking of James' shoulders. James could only peer over Sirius' shoulder before giving an even louder shout of shock.
'WHAT?'
'Yeah, he didn't even return. I think Malfoy might have poisoned him, then cast the body-binding spell and left him to freeze!' Sirius winced at the possibilities.
'Padfoot, we've got to find Malfoy and beat the truth out of him!' James leapt out of bed with vigour and ran out of the dormitory with Sirius fast behind him.
*******************
5 minutes later
They skidded down the last flight of stairs to the Great Hall and were rounding a bend when they heard a familiar sneering voice.
'. . . no trouble, I'll help you pass the message sometime this week,'
Snape!
They rounded the bend just in time to see Severus Snape and . . .Lucius Malfoy. 'Just the very person,' James heard Sirius mutter just as Snape greeted them viciously, 'Black, Potter,' The usual expected insult in return was not present as Sirius had thrown himself onto Malfoy and was snarling, 'What did you do to Remus?'
'Yeah, where is he?' James added as he shoved Snape aside and made to tackle Malfoy onto the floor. The arrogant smile infuriated them as Lucius Malfoy coolly replied, 'I wouldn't know, would I?'
'You know. You've poisoned him and left him somewhere, I know you have, you son of a bitch,' Sirius snarled angrily as he grabbed a fistful of silky hair and yanked painfully.
'Poison him? Well, that is a good idea, little Gryffindor,' Lucius Malfoy provoked them while his right gloved hand found Sirius neck and he gave it a painful squeeze. Then, without warning, Malfoy had grasped Sirius' shoulders and hurled him to the ground.
'Your irk me, Gryffindors,' Malfoy's voice was soft and threatening as he pointed his wand at James and murmured something rather advanced. Immediately, James felt as if invisible flames were licking him, burning him. Yet as he opened his mouth to scream in agony, all he could make was a gagging noise.
'Useful, isn't it? You are in no position to threaten me,' he left the threat implied sink in for a few seconds before raising his wand and breaking the spell, saying, 'You'd do better covering the grounds,' Then, with a last swish of black cloaks, he had left with Snape.
*********************
The vague sound of yelling and talking awoke Remus. He crawled up from his position. His hands felt numb and he figured he'd be better off back in school. He had a throbbing headache from last night's thinking and gingerly walked back. He would figure out the rest later.
He pushed open the doors just as Sirius and James skidded to a halt to avoid banging into him. 'Moony!' he heard two different voices yell as he was hugged exuberantly.
'Hey, guys. Sorry, I fell asleep outside, damn freezing. S' okay,' Remus murmured vaguely as he breathed under the warmth of the two friends.
He didn't see Lucius Malfoy silently watching him from afar.
**********************
Lucius watched as Remus was being hugged and heard the vague answer given. His emotionless face was momentarily etched with a frown before the handsome face was once again frozen in its own abyss. He turned and left.
**********************
The note was sharp and to the point. Snape had given it to him with a sneer when they had to collaborate during Potions. Remus had stuffed it into his notes and read it in the privacy of his curtain-drawn bed. He unfolded the note and gasped at the elegant penmanship.
The words were joined in cursive writing and in green ink.
'Your detentions with me are cancelled,' the words, sharp and abrupt, caused both feelings of relief and something else which was quite imperceptible. Remus did not want to brood on the latter and focused on being happy that he did not have to endure the Slytherin's piercing gaze.
This embarrassing crush for Malfoy will fade into nothing, he tried to convince himself. Yet, as the days went by, he found himself often wandering out of habit to the classroom once used for detentions. Malfoy even appeared in his dreams, sometimes as the whip lashing harsh intimidating figure or in others as the beautiful boy who kissed him.
He was thankful he barely saw Malfoy now and even went to all lengths to avoid seeing him, for fear that he might just start gazing at the older boy. He even made a habit of turning on his heels and walking in the opposite direction at the slightest flick of silver or the slightest hint of the familiar drawl.
Remus was also grateful to the heavens for Sirius' craze for Quidditch and James' latest obsession with a particular girl who slightly resembled a Chinese. His friends' respective obsessions led them to have little time to observe him for if they had, he was sure they would be able to guess what was bothering him.
Little did he know that as he was being watched by the very person he avoided closely.
***********************
Midnight
Lucius Malfoy lay on his bed of satin sheets and closed those frightfully cold grey eyes. Those innocently beautiful hazel brown eyes, matched with equally soft dark golden hair . . . Lucius wondered what it would be like to tangle his slender fingers into it. The boy was beautiful to Lucius Malfoy.
When Malfoys saw what they liked, they had to own it but in this case, Lucius Malfoy understood that he could never take Remus Lupin and mark him as his possession. This was the one exception Lucius probably ever made.
The boy did like him, Lucius tried to argue with his conscience. The boy would be a willing party in a potentially dangerous relationship. But he would die, wouldn't he, if you displeased Lord Voldemort, the careful side of him cautioned the reckless one. He wouldn't, I would do my best to please the Lord, if it means protecting him, he argued. Could you guarantee that Voldemort will never be displeased, no, it would be better to have him from afar, not to see him or touch him or you will taint him, the possibility did make his blood run cold.
Shut it! He snapped angrily. This was it, he was going to sneak out to Hog's Head for a drink. A nice drink of whiskey would probably help him calm his agitated senses. He slipped out of bed and using his wand, cast a disillusion charm on himself.
******************
30 MINS LATER
Remus pulled off the borrowed Invisibility Cloak. It had been hard, avoiding drunkards who swayed unpredictably around. Rain beat softly against his face as he reached for the door handle and entered the Hog's Head. He used a hand to wipe off the water droplets from his face and as soon as his vision was clear, immediately regretted coming.
Why? Because Lucius Malfoy was sitting in a corner and even more frightfully, was looking directly at him.
There were a lot of empty seats around the boy (probably due to his father's known viciousness) and Remus found himself mesmerized by Lucius' eyes. The grey pools were pulling him towards them. Lucius had no need to raise a hand to beckon, all he needed was to look at Remus. Remus walked towards Lucius subconsciously, he did not even attempt to stop himself.
He slid into the seat diagonally across Lucius. 'I want you directly opposite me,' Lucius Malfoy said pointedly, sealing all the escape routes possible. Gulping visibly, Remus shifted until Lucius' grey eyes bored into his mercilessly. Remus eventually lowered his gaze to simply drinking and admiring the rim of his wine glass.
Silence ensued for the next few minutes until Lucius Malfoy stood up so suddenly Remus flinched and grasped the latter's left hand with unexpectedly warm fingers. Lucius pulled up the sleeve and softly asked, 'It hasn't healed?'
'No,' Remus tried a most nonchalant reply.
'Why not simply use a healing spell?' Remus vaguely wondered if Malfoy was testing his magic.
'I want it to leave a scar,' Remus' reply made Lucius arch his eyebrows gracefully.
'And why is that, my little Gryffindor?' Lucius suddenly pulled Remus even closer. Fearing a repeat of what happened the last time, Remus flinched and attempted struggling out of the iron grip but Lucius was stronger and Remus found Lucius' scent oddly comforting.
'My little Gryffindor,' Lucius slurred the pet name and stared straight into Remus' eyes.
Once again, Remus was drawn to the beautiful grey eyes and he could not hold back the honest reply.
'Because I like you and I know that you will never like me back. It'll be the only thing I can remember you with,' Remus blurted out before he realised what he had just admitted and gasped in horror. His instinct told him to flee from this horribly embarrassing situation and simply forget it but he could not move under Lucius' grasp.
He could only avoid staring back at the older boy as the seconds ticked by.
Finally, Lucius gave a sharp intake of breath and whispered very slowly, so that the words were clearly articulated.
'That is the one thing about Gryffindors I detest - you always assume. What if I told you that you assumed wrongly?' Lucius Malfoy dipped his head slightly so that his warm breath was just next to Remus' cheek.
Remus' heart gave a little leap of joy but he was still apprehensive. Lucius was capable of being nice at one moment and sadistically cruel at the other. 'I don't have a whip now, you know,' Lucius sensed his fear and released the iron grip.
He gave the boy ample space to turn and flee but Remus continued standing in front of him.
**********************
I hope this wasn't too mushy or anything. Now, what do you think Remus will do? Give me your different opinions and I hope you are right!
Review, ok?
On a second note, I thank all those who reviewed (except peachgirl1608 *dearie*). Your reviews go a long way in helping me improve my writing.
Anyway, does anyone have any good Lucius/Remus or Lucius/Harry fics to recommend?
Love,
Ice And Fire Vanessa
The beginning tenderness had successfully persuaded Remus to believe that Lucius actually liked him and let down his guard. The swift-following harsh biting and licking was like a slap in the face. And all the pain and shock had been caused in one simple minute. So quick and effectively cruel.
Lucius' voice, as he wiped the red droplets away from his pale lips, was so detached and cool that it could literally slice metal and freeze oceans. Remus glanced at the black figure, cloaked in black which contrasted beautifully with the silver-blonde hair. So beautifully harsh and perfect. Remus knew he should not have been so affected by Lucius' cruelty.
He raised a finger to his lips, tracing where the crimson droplets had formed and been licked with a quick flick of the cool tongue. The coolness of Lucius' tongue was nothing, nothing but a bitter-sweet memory.
Fool, Remus wanted to kill himself. It was perfectly right and normal for Lucius to have behaved in that way, it was he who was wrong, and he should never have been so vulnerable in the older boy's presence. It was all his fault. There was no fault with Malfoy, the trouble lay with him. Why was he so affected by a dumb kiss?
He just needed a second and he understood what his subconscious had been blindly protecting him from. Somewhere along the lines of detention and taunting, he had fallen for Lucius Malfoy, supposedly arch-rival and bastard.
The answer was so simple.
And now, Remus knew that all he needed to do was to disentangle himself before another mistake was committed. So straight-forward. 'Talk's cheap,' he murmured miserably. 'But I'll try,' the last sentence sounded vaguely unsure. He didn't care. All he wanted now was a good rest. He was sure that after the good rest, everything would fall easily in place and his mistakes could be rectified quickly.
Remus sunk to his knees, ignoring the cold which had seemed threatening just minutes ago but was now welcoming, and shut his eyes. He lost track of time sometime between saying a prayer and singing an old country song his mother once taught him.
He felt himself seeping into winter's peace.
**************************
Sirius Black woke with a start. Dim rays of winter sunlight danced across his black hair. 'For hell of it,' he murmured incoherently before dragging himself out of bed. 'Remus, Remus,' he put a hand into the next cubicle and attempted to wake its occupant up only to find the bed empty. Now, Sirius Black was perfectly awake. He gasped as he drew apart the curtains to find an empty bed. From the neat bed sheets and pillow arrangement, he was sure Remus had not even returned to bed the night before.
'Holy shit,' he swore as he remembered that Remus had been with Malfoy for a detention. It must be that evil git, he's poisoned Moony, Sirius' eyes widened at the possibility and he immediately scrambled over his own bed to get to his neighbour's.
'Oh god, d'you reckon Malfoy's evil enough to poison Moony? I wouldn't put it past him,' Sirius was rattling as he jolted James awake. 'Huh? W-What the heck are you chanting about?' James tried to calm Sirius' mad frenzy as he grabbed his shirt and pulled it on.
'Moony!' Sirius began dramatically before resuming his violent shaking of James' shoulders. James could only peer over Sirius' shoulder before giving an even louder shout of shock.
'WHAT?'
'Yeah, he didn't even return. I think Malfoy might have poisoned him, then cast the body-binding spell and left him to freeze!' Sirius winced at the possibilities.
'Padfoot, we've got to find Malfoy and beat the truth out of him!' James leapt out of bed with vigour and ran out of the dormitory with Sirius fast behind him.
*******************
5 minutes later
They skidded down the last flight of stairs to the Great Hall and were rounding a bend when they heard a familiar sneering voice.
'. . . no trouble, I'll help you pass the message sometime this week,'
Snape!
They rounded the bend just in time to see Severus Snape and . . .Lucius Malfoy. 'Just the very person,' James heard Sirius mutter just as Snape greeted them viciously, 'Black, Potter,' The usual expected insult in return was not present as Sirius had thrown himself onto Malfoy and was snarling, 'What did you do to Remus?'
'Yeah, where is he?' James added as he shoved Snape aside and made to tackle Malfoy onto the floor. The arrogant smile infuriated them as Lucius Malfoy coolly replied, 'I wouldn't know, would I?'
'You know. You've poisoned him and left him somewhere, I know you have, you son of a bitch,' Sirius snarled angrily as he grabbed a fistful of silky hair and yanked painfully.
'Poison him? Well, that is a good idea, little Gryffindor,' Lucius Malfoy provoked them while his right gloved hand found Sirius neck and he gave it a painful squeeze. Then, without warning, Malfoy had grasped Sirius' shoulders and hurled him to the ground.
'Your irk me, Gryffindors,' Malfoy's voice was soft and threatening as he pointed his wand at James and murmured something rather advanced. Immediately, James felt as if invisible flames were licking him, burning him. Yet as he opened his mouth to scream in agony, all he could make was a gagging noise.
'Useful, isn't it? You are in no position to threaten me,' he left the threat implied sink in for a few seconds before raising his wand and breaking the spell, saying, 'You'd do better covering the grounds,' Then, with a last swish of black cloaks, he had left with Snape.
*********************
The vague sound of yelling and talking awoke Remus. He crawled up from his position. His hands felt numb and he figured he'd be better off back in school. He had a throbbing headache from last night's thinking and gingerly walked back. He would figure out the rest later.
He pushed open the doors just as Sirius and James skidded to a halt to avoid banging into him. 'Moony!' he heard two different voices yell as he was hugged exuberantly.
'Hey, guys. Sorry, I fell asleep outside, damn freezing. S' okay,' Remus murmured vaguely as he breathed under the warmth of the two friends.
He didn't see Lucius Malfoy silently watching him from afar.
**********************
Lucius watched as Remus was being hugged and heard the vague answer given. His emotionless face was momentarily etched with a frown before the handsome face was once again frozen in its own abyss. He turned and left.
**********************
The note was sharp and to the point. Snape had given it to him with a sneer when they had to collaborate during Potions. Remus had stuffed it into his notes and read it in the privacy of his curtain-drawn bed. He unfolded the note and gasped at the elegant penmanship.
The words were joined in cursive writing and in green ink.
'Your detentions with me are cancelled,' the words, sharp and abrupt, caused both feelings of relief and something else which was quite imperceptible. Remus did not want to brood on the latter and focused on being happy that he did not have to endure the Slytherin's piercing gaze.
This embarrassing crush for Malfoy will fade into nothing, he tried to convince himself. Yet, as the days went by, he found himself often wandering out of habit to the classroom once used for detentions. Malfoy even appeared in his dreams, sometimes as the whip lashing harsh intimidating figure or in others as the beautiful boy who kissed him.
He was thankful he barely saw Malfoy now and even went to all lengths to avoid seeing him, for fear that he might just start gazing at the older boy. He even made a habit of turning on his heels and walking in the opposite direction at the slightest flick of silver or the slightest hint of the familiar drawl.
Remus was also grateful to the heavens for Sirius' craze for Quidditch and James' latest obsession with a particular girl who slightly resembled a Chinese. His friends' respective obsessions led them to have little time to observe him for if they had, he was sure they would be able to guess what was bothering him.
Little did he know that as he was being watched by the very person he avoided closely.
***********************
Midnight
Lucius Malfoy lay on his bed of satin sheets and closed those frightfully cold grey eyes. Those innocently beautiful hazel brown eyes, matched with equally soft dark golden hair . . . Lucius wondered what it would be like to tangle his slender fingers into it. The boy was beautiful to Lucius Malfoy.
When Malfoys saw what they liked, they had to own it but in this case, Lucius Malfoy understood that he could never take Remus Lupin and mark him as his possession. This was the one exception Lucius probably ever made.
The boy did like him, Lucius tried to argue with his conscience. The boy would be a willing party in a potentially dangerous relationship. But he would die, wouldn't he, if you displeased Lord Voldemort, the careful side of him cautioned the reckless one. He wouldn't, I would do my best to please the Lord, if it means protecting him, he argued. Could you guarantee that Voldemort will never be displeased, no, it would be better to have him from afar, not to see him or touch him or you will taint him, the possibility did make his blood run cold.
Shut it! He snapped angrily. This was it, he was going to sneak out to Hog's Head for a drink. A nice drink of whiskey would probably help him calm his agitated senses. He slipped out of bed and using his wand, cast a disillusion charm on himself.
******************
30 MINS LATER
Remus pulled off the borrowed Invisibility Cloak. It had been hard, avoiding drunkards who swayed unpredictably around. Rain beat softly against his face as he reached for the door handle and entered the Hog's Head. He used a hand to wipe off the water droplets from his face and as soon as his vision was clear, immediately regretted coming.
Why? Because Lucius Malfoy was sitting in a corner and even more frightfully, was looking directly at him.
There were a lot of empty seats around the boy (probably due to his father's known viciousness) and Remus found himself mesmerized by Lucius' eyes. The grey pools were pulling him towards them. Lucius had no need to raise a hand to beckon, all he needed was to look at Remus. Remus walked towards Lucius subconsciously, he did not even attempt to stop himself.
He slid into the seat diagonally across Lucius. 'I want you directly opposite me,' Lucius Malfoy said pointedly, sealing all the escape routes possible. Gulping visibly, Remus shifted until Lucius' grey eyes bored into his mercilessly. Remus eventually lowered his gaze to simply drinking and admiring the rim of his wine glass.
Silence ensued for the next few minutes until Lucius Malfoy stood up so suddenly Remus flinched and grasped the latter's left hand with unexpectedly warm fingers. Lucius pulled up the sleeve and softly asked, 'It hasn't healed?'
'No,' Remus tried a most nonchalant reply.
'Why not simply use a healing spell?' Remus vaguely wondered if Malfoy was testing his magic.
'I want it to leave a scar,' Remus' reply made Lucius arch his eyebrows gracefully.
'And why is that, my little Gryffindor?' Lucius suddenly pulled Remus even closer. Fearing a repeat of what happened the last time, Remus flinched and attempted struggling out of the iron grip but Lucius was stronger and Remus found Lucius' scent oddly comforting.
'My little Gryffindor,' Lucius slurred the pet name and stared straight into Remus' eyes.
Once again, Remus was drawn to the beautiful grey eyes and he could not hold back the honest reply.
'Because I like you and I know that you will never like me back. It'll be the only thing I can remember you with,' Remus blurted out before he realised what he had just admitted and gasped in horror. His instinct told him to flee from this horribly embarrassing situation and simply forget it but he could not move under Lucius' grasp.
He could only avoid staring back at the older boy as the seconds ticked by.
Finally, Lucius gave a sharp intake of breath and whispered very slowly, so that the words were clearly articulated.
'That is the one thing about Gryffindors I detest - you always assume. What if I told you that you assumed wrongly?' Lucius Malfoy dipped his head slightly so that his warm breath was just next to Remus' cheek.
Remus' heart gave a little leap of joy but he was still apprehensive. Lucius was capable of being nice at one moment and sadistically cruel at the other. 'I don't have a whip now, you know,' Lucius sensed his fear and released the iron grip.
He gave the boy ample space to turn and flee but Remus continued standing in front of him.
**********************
I hope this wasn't too mushy or anything. Now, what do you think Remus will do? Give me your different opinions and I hope you are right!
Review, ok?
On a second note, I thank all those who reviewed (except peachgirl1608 *dearie*). Your reviews go a long way in helping me improve my writing.
Anyway, does anyone have any good Lucius/Remus or Lucius/Harry fics to recommend?
Love,
Ice And Fire Vanessa