Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own 'em. I don't own any of these Characters 'News from the file marked 'Duh'…
Rating: PG-13. Might have a bit of swearing in it.
Shopping with a former Klepto
('It was an alien Marge! It appeared in front of me and said don't be afraid!' 'Have you been drinking?' 'No! Well, ten beers…' –The Simpsons)
Chapter 3: Dawn vs. Spike
"God, it's hideous!"
Dawn glared at the thing that had made her scream. There were times when you didn't need anybody around to make you feel stupid. For Dawn Summers, this was that time. She sighed in relief and tried to calm down her rapid heartbeat. She then proceeded to mentally kick herself for being so jumpy. In front of the teenager was a cardboard clown that was made to life scale. Which wouldn't have freaked her out so much if it weren't so dark, or so she told herself. But although she clearly knew what it was now, it still was creepy, just a tad.
"Mr. Clown, you're going down," Dawn said as she prepared to kick the cardboard cut out that was advertising a new savory snack. She would get revenge on the overly excited cartoon character. Dawn was obligated to destroy this monstrosity. She was saving heaps of little kids from having nightmares over seeing this smiling manic face. But before she could jam her foot through it, which was perfectly aimed for the Clown's crotch, she heard noises coming from behind.
"You're one lucky clown, buddy," Dawn muttered as she turned and looked down the aisle to see what the new noise was. Her eyes widened in surprise and alarm at the glowing figure coming full steam towards her. She stood her ground. Her feet didn't move. Her being motionless was a mixture between being too stubborn and too scared. But there was one thing she would not do. She would not call for Spike. Not now. Even if that meant fighting off the glow in the dark demon on her own. She didn't need him, and she didn't want him to think she needed him. She had her pride and she definitely didn't need…
"SPIKE!" Dawn yelled in spite of herself, as the glow-y being was just a few steps away from her.
To her shock and horror and the alien spoke, in a very familiar British accent, "What?"
Dawn blinked as her UFO was identified as Spike, a very luminous Spike. "Spike?" Dawn asked, still needing confirmation that it was really the ensouled vampire. That this was trademark duster Spike that was covered in glow sticks, not some weird clone.
"Who else would it be?" Spike replied.
"I don't know. Some shiny alien dude trying to get me aboard its mother ship!" Dawn said angrily as she glared at him. She was fully regretting calling out his name. Regretting even more that it wasn't some alien, because then it wouldn't have been him that heard her wail his name out. She hated depending on him. She didn't. It was a moment of weakness, which she would never repeat again, "What are you? A flashy 'vampire with a soul' headliner?!"
"What were you wailing about?"
"Nothing…" Dawn's voice trailed off. This was all too embarrassing; she was not going to tell him. Scratch that, she didn't need to tell him anything.
"Nothin'?" Spike enquired, raising his eyebrows, "Right, so you were just screaming your head off cause you found out Pepsi has a new flavor"
"NO! I—I saw a…a mouse that's all," Dawn muttered. A mouse was better than a cardboard cut out.
"A mouse? You saw a mouse when you can barely see anything,"
"Well, I—I…stepped on it, and…it squeaked and then I…I"
"Squeaked?"
Dawn scowled and looked away. She knew if she didn't tell him they'd be stuck here all night. Even though she hated to admit it, they did have something in common. They were both stubborn. Which was the reason Spike wasn't letting go of the conversation, or why he hadn't taken off the glow sticks. He wouldn't take them off even though he knew that he looked like a complete moron. He looked utterly stupid; it was almost laughable to Dawn, nearly anyway.
She turned back around and glared at him. Which was hard to do when he was glowing in a multitude of colors. Dawn rolled her eyes, pointed to the freaky advertisement and said, "Fine! Whatever. It was that creepy clown over there, it just startled me a tinge,"
Spikes glanced idly at the clown and then back at Dawn. He had just raced across the store, panicking like hell because of a cartoon.
"It's cardboard bit. And clowns are not creepy. In fact they're very un-creepy, if you ask me," Spike said as he gave the clown another glance. He knew the remark would get her even angrier. But for some reason he was fine with it. If she wanted to bicker, he'd bicker back. He gave her a smug smile, flicked the clown and then strolled around the corner.
Dawn balled her fists as she watched him. When did he become so…so…like the old Spike. Spike without the soul. She expected him to be all sullen and quiet. He was not supposed to be like this anymore. But if the vampire wanted to play, it was fine with her. She was now officially taking score. She could still make this little trip to the store a living hell for him. She would wipe that arrogant smile off his face, she'd make him wish he didn't come along, she would…
"Christ! What the hell is that?" Spike said, as he jumped back and stared at something around the corner.
Dawn walked up towards him and took a look. Standing up, around the corner was another cardboard clown. The only differences to the other one were the colors and its glowing red eyes. "It's Bobo the clown's brother, Cocoa. Not so un-creepy now huh?" Dawn smirked. Dawn 1, Spike 0.
"Well, it's just, I don't really see the point in making its eyes glow demon red. No one would actually see it if the bleeding lights were on,"
"Yeah, well, herein lies the mystery of Supermarket displays," Dawn said. She glanced again at the glow sticks the vampire was decorated in. "So, Captain Fluorescent, what's with the glow sticks? Went a bit overboard don't you think?"
Spike consciously tugged at a glow stick around his wrist. "Well, uh, they seemed…good. You just snap 'em, and they light up," Spike said as he grabbed a glow stick from his pocket. He wouldn't say he felt completely stupid, he knew he must have looked stupid but he wouldn't give her the satisfaction in knowing he felt stupid. So instead he smiled and said, "They come in a range of colors too!"
"That's just dandy," Dawn replied flatly, as she grabbed the glow stick out of his hand, "Give me the flashlight, Tinkerbell. First we're gonna get some fresh fruit…or non-rotted ones,"
* * * * * * *
When Dawn was rummaging through the granny smith apples with the flashlight, a thought suddenly struck Spike. He was loitering a few steps away from her, watching her, and finally realized she had called out for him when she thought she was in danger. There wasn't really anybody else she could call for help, but it was still something. He tapped his foot impatiently as Dawn fussed over the apples, not wanting to get one with a speck of a bruise. He knew she was doing it to get on his nerves. She was taking her sweet little time to make him pay.
"You know what would be much easier and faster, Dawn?" Spike suggested, "If we just go to the back of the store and get a whole box or crate of apples,"
The only answer Spike got was an apple thrown at his head. Dawn 2, Spike 0
He wiped some apple juice off his face and grabbed a lemon. He paused a second, he really shouldn't do this. But before he could really think about his actions, his hand threw the citrus fruit towards an unsuspecting Dawn. It hit her on the shoulder and Spike immediately pretended to be interested in the price of pineapples. But looking discrete was hard when he was glowing.
Dawn turned around angrily. She couldn't believe he had just thrown something at her. She flashed the light down and spotted a lemon on the ground. "I can't believe you just threw a lemon at me!" Dawn said outraged. Dammit, Dawn 2, Spike 1
Spike looked up innocently, and pretended not to know what she meant. She gave him a questioning look and he shrugged his shoulders. "So you're allowed to hit the vampire, but I'm not allowed to do it back," Spike asked.
"Well, you're like a hundred and something. Don't' you think you should act maturely?"
"Says the girl who smashed down the windows and stole money out of the cash register," Spike retorted.
"Under the strange circumstances I'm pretty sure what I'm doing is okay. And I'm not stealing, I'm looting, there's a difference," Dawn explained.
"Difference being?"
"The store is deserted. It's take what you please,"
"I see your Klepto ways haven't completely disappeared,"
"I see you being annoying hasn't disappeared either,"
Spike sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Look, the point in looting is to grab stuff. Preferably before the sun toasts my pale behind,"
"Maybe that's a sight I'd like to see," Dawn replied. Spike rose his eyebrow, and Dawn realized her mistake in wording, "Not that. I didn't mean…I meant seeing you burn okay. Fine! Great! Let's have a loot-a-thon then, let's loot away,"
Dawn walked away and disappeared down an aisle. Spike grabbed the shopping cart and steered it in her direction. It was going to be a very long night.
AN: Hello. Please reviews. Reviews make a happy writer. A happy writer writes faster :)