*waves* Hiya, everyone! GOD, I love writing this stupid, little thing! *beams* Welcome to Step Two, kids! *cackles* Poor Blink... why do I always torture my favorite characters?
Spot: Ya haven't tortured me yet.
Well...
Skittery: Or me.
Erm....
Dutchy: Or me.
Uh....
Itey: Or me.
Hey, I made you freakishly goth, didn't I?!
Itey: ... true.
Sheesh! Anyway... enjoy!
Disclaimers: Sita does not own any characters, with the exception of Mayfly. All other characters are property of their creators.
#This chapter is dedicated to Tabloid, who keeps making me write. And who taught me how to play Mafia. And who is amused by eggrolls.#
But I'm a Prep!
Chapter Three
You're still here?
Wow. I'm proud that someone actually cares about us enough to pay attention to my little story.
Anyway. I want you to keep something in mind. As soon as I got to the dorm, I had a freak-out session. A major one. I completely spazzed out and started screaming about how I wasn't gay. I think I managed to sock Racetrack in the mouth when I was flailing around, which is the only good thing about it.
And then, a few seconds later, it stopped, and nobody's mentioned it since.
Why am I telling you this?
So that you don't think I'm totally okay with this. Because I'm not. I don't want to be gay, I don't want to be here. I don't.
But I know that this is my only hope for getting straight again. So, I'm gonna stick through it.
But I'm also not going to tell you exactly what went on in said freak-out session.
Hey, I don't have much dignity left, but I want to save the few threads that I do have.
*~*~*
I literally gagged as I struggled into my long, silky blue pajamas. I gagged.
"Don't worry. The gag reflex wears down after a while," Spot said airily as he traipsed around the room with a comb and a bottle of conditioner. He turned to me and grinned evilly. "Want me to help it on its way?"
"You are sick, Spot," Skittery said with a tiny smile. I rolled my eyes and hopped into my bed.
"You're not going to sleep already, are ya, dude?" Snitch asked, frowning. I shrugged.
"Well, aren't they gonna come by and make sure we're in bed?" The other four boys snickered.
"Nah. Medda wouldn't deign herself to do it, David's too busy ogling Mush, and Ireland's on our side," Snitch said, waving his hand dismissively.
"Oh. Well, that's-" I stopped in mid-sentence. "Wait... what about David and Mush?" Spot grinned evilly.
"You probably haven't noticed yet, but they've got a thing for each other." He "tsk-ed" quietly. "It's too bad that Mush's aunt is the biggest homophobe since Hitler, and Davey's still trying to convince himself that he's not gay any more. They'd make such a cute couple."
I sat upright in my bed.
"But.... but David went through this program, didn't he?" Spot raised one of his carefully-plucked eyebrows.
"Yeah... and your point?" I stared at him. The whole point of this concentration camp was to get hetero.
They laughed when I expressed this.
"Blink, this stupid camp doesn't work," Racetrack said, rolling over to face us for the first time. "You can't change who you are."
I suddenly felt like a five-year-old.
"But... but..." I stuttered. No... it had to work! It was going to be bad enough going back to school after this. If I went back, and I was still gay... oh, God, I'd never hear the end of it. Smartass would have it all over the Herald before I could say... I dunno. Something that wouldn't take a very long time to say.
I'm not good at analogies.
"Aw, look, I think we made the poor baby cry."
"Shut up, Race. You don't have to be such a jerk to the guy."
"Go screw yourself, Snitch."
"You don't have to be a jerk to me, either!"
A tap at the window turned our attention away from what could have been a reasonably nasty argument.
"They're here," Spot said with a grin. He skipped (yes, skipped) over to the window and yanked it open.
Mayfly immediately stuck her head in and grinned.
"Didja miss us?"
"OW! Mayfly, ya fat whore, you stepped on my hand!"
"Oh, shut up, Chaser."
"Yeah, shut up, Chaser!"
"Shut up, Speed!"
"Why don't both of you shut up?"
"Shut up, Stage!" all three girls retorted.
"Ah, the close bond of sisterhood," Skittery murmured from somewhere behind me.
I blinked in surprise as the four aforementioned females scrabbled into our room, attired in matching very long, very frilly, very pink nightgowns.
"I don't think I'm ever gonna get used to this stupid thing," Speed mutter, unhappily plucking at her frills.
"Stop whining."
"Oh, shut up, Chaser!"
"Can you guys not do that for two seconds?" Racetrack muttered, rolling his eyes.
Mayfly dove across the floor and grabbed on to Spot's leg.
"Tell me you love me!" she demanded. Spot rolled his eyes.
"I don't love you. It's all about the sex, remember?" Mayfly fell backwards into a sitting position.
"Damn," she muttered and tried to snap. "Damn!" she repeated, making the snapping motion.
"You can't snap?" Speed questioned, awe-struck.
"No, I can't snap."
"Everyone point and laugh at Mayfly!" Chaser called gleefully.
So they did.
And I couldn't help but laugh.
"Whadda ya know, da new kid don't look like he's gonna run away, screamin'!" Stage crowed, suddenly slipping into a very accurate New York accent.
"You're not scared of us?" Speed asked. She stuck her face a few inches from mine and blinked.
I blinked back.
"Er... not really... should I be?"
"BOW BEFORE ME! FOR I AM THE DONKEY QUEEEEEN!"
"Ooookay... little scared of Mayfly..."
"I think it's gonna take a lot more than your usual insanity to scare this kid," Snitch said with a grin as he plopped down on to the floor next to Stage.
"Enough screwing around. What're we going to play?" Chaser asked.
"Where is everyone?" Racetrack muttered.
"Well, Colleen and Maureen can't come, naturally..." Speed began.
"Mandy wasn't feeling well, and Heels decided to stay with her. They're so CUTE!" Mayfly squealed.
"Last time I checked, Q said something about shaving a squirrel," Chaser added.
"And Slosh and Bebop were babbling about... something... with big words..." Stage muttered.
"Communism and asexuality," Speed supplied. Everyone stared at her. "What? I'm not the airhead that I look like."
"Yeah, you are."
"Shut up, Chaser."
"Shut up-"
"Okay, that gets really old, really fast," Racetrack cut in. He slapped a deck of cards down into the middle of the circle that we'd formed. "We're playing Mafia."
"Who died and made you God?"
"Shut up, Snitch."
"Shut up, Racetrack."
"They've been hanging around us too long," Chaser whispered conspiratorially. Speed nodded.
I just kind of stared.
"I think Blink's confuzzled," Mayfly informed everyone.
"'Confuzzled' isn't a word," Spot said.
"It is now!"
Silence.
"You have problems," Spot said, gently patting her on the back.
"Last night, there was a big storm. Since Bebop's afraid of lightning, most of the girls snuck over here," Skittery explained quietly. He settled himself on the ground in between Snitch and Spot. "We stayed up most of the night playing 'I Never.' We agreed to meet in here every night and just talk and play games." He shrugged. "We need some normality in this hellhole."
"You know, Bebop would kill you if she heard you talking about her fear of lightning," Stage warned.
"She ran over here crying like a baby. What else am I supposed to say?" the tall boy replied, matter-of-factly.
I raised an eyebrow.
Okay, new opinion of Skittery: quiet, but he won't take crap from anyone.
I'll have to make a mental note of that.
"Why don't we play blackjack instead?" Racetrack asked, grinning evilly and shuffling the deck.
"NO!" came the resounding reply.
"You think we're stupid, Race?" Snitch scoffed.
"You really want me to answer that?"
"Okay, enough of that!" Chaser cut in cheerily. "I'm narrator!"
"No, I'm narrator!" Spot contradicted.
"Why don't we let Blink be narrator?" Skittery suggested. Everyone stared at me.
"Oh, er... okay," I stated with a grin. It'd been a while since I played Mafia, but I usually turned out to be a pretty good narrator.
"Okay. Spades are the Mafia, heart's the doctor, diamond's the sheriff, and clubs are the townspeople," Race said quickly, reminding me vaguely of an auctioneer. He slapped the deck back down in the middle of the circle and glared at me.
God, what'd I ever do to him?
"Is everybody ready?"
"Stick a fork in me, 'cause I'm done!" Speed chirped happily.
"Shut up, Speed."
"On with the game!" I yelled before another Speed-Chaser brawl could begin. Everyone looked at me and grinned. Spot even applauded lightly. "Everyone, go to sleep." I glanced quickly around the room as everyone put their heads down. "Mafia, wake up." Spot and Skittery lifted their heads, looked at each other, and smirked. Skittery immediately pointed at Chaser. Spot nodded, fighting back a snicker. I grinned at them. "Mafia, go to sleep. Doctor, wake up." Mayfly lifted her head, crossed her eyes, and stuck her tongue out at me. I couldn't help but grin at the cheerful psycho. She looked around for a few seconds before pointing at Racetrack. I shook my head. She frowned, tried to snap, and threw her hands up in exasperation. I quickly clapped my hand over my mouth to muffle my snickers. "Doctor, go to sleep. Sheriff, wake up." Stage, who was sitting right next to me, looked up and began to softly hum the Blazing Saddles theme in my ear. I laughed to myself and poked her in the ribs. She knitted her eyebrows before pointing at Snitch. I grinned and shook my head. She sighed.
"Where's Miss Cleo when you need her, mon?" she whispered under her breath in a perfect imitation of the Jamaican fortune teller. I rolled my eyes and smirked.
"Okay, Sheriff, go to sleep. Town, wake up." Everyone lifted their heads and immediately began looking suspiciously around the room. I grinned evilly. Now comes the fun part. "All right, one night, in the fine town of Somewheresville-"
"Somewheresville?" Spot interrupted. He shook his head. "Uh-uh, honey. Do you think this body belongs in Somewheresville? Make it... Brooklyn." I raised an eyebrow.
"Why Brooklyn?" Spot gasped.
"Brooklyn rocks!" he cried. "BROOKLYN!" Everyone immediately shushed him as I sighed.
"Fine. So, one night in Brooklyn-"
"BROOKLYYYYYN!"
"Shut up, Spot!" half the room chorused.
"So. One night in Brooklyn, the residents of... Avenue A were awakened-"
"Avenue A's not in Brooklyn."
"Look, I don't know the anatomy of New York! It's not like I ever lived there!" I rolled my eyes. Jesus. "Anyway. The residents of some random street in Brooklyn were awakened by a strangled cry. As they ran to investigate, they found Chaser dead in her apartment-"
"I ALWAYS die first," Chaser pouted as everyone laughed.
"She had been stabbed to death. Someone had pushed her backwards onto the knives in the open dishwasher."
"Ooh, that's a good one," Mayfly murmured.
"Why would someone want to kill Chaser?" Speed asked. "I mean, she'll probably be dead of an STD in a few years anyway."
"Shut up, Speed!"
"Shut up, Chaser!"
"Both of you shut up," Skittery said firmly. "Keep going."
"I think it was Speed," Snitch said with a nod.
"Thanks a lot, Beaver Boy!"
"Who else thinks it was Speed?" I questioned, ignoring Snitch's outraged yell.
Everyone except Race and Spot raised their hand.
"All right then. Speed has now been beheaded with a rusty ax."
"Whatever happened to hanging from the old, oak tree?" I grinned.
"Gotta get with the times."
"How is using a rusty ax to kill someone 'with the times?!'"
Everyone froze at the sound of a soft knock at the door.
"Relax, guys, it's just me." The boys breathed a sigh of relief. Spot jumped to his feet and let in a familiar figure dressed in the same pink nightgown as the other girls - Ireland. "I just wanted to tell you guys that you should probably get to bed. I think Medda might have heard you."
"Maybe we should turn in early tonight," Stage suggested. The girls murmured their agreements. Ireland smiled at us.
"Rock. See you guys tomorrow." She waved and trotted out the door. By the time I turned around, the girls had already said their goodbyes and climbed out of the window.
"I love that girl," Spot said, beaming.
"Who, Ireland?"
"Yeah. If I was straight, I would so go for her." Snitch grinned and nodded. I think I saw Skittery's expression darken at that, but I wasn't sure.
I glanced over at Racetrack. He was sitting on his bed, facing the wall and shuffling his deck of cards.
I decided to talk to him.
"Hey." He looked up at me.
"What?"
"Do you have a problem with me?" Racetrack stared at me like I'd started speaking Japanese.
"What?"
"I said, do you have a problem with me?"
"Why do you ask that?"
"You've been nothing but a jerk to me ever since I got here." He stared at me silently for a few seconds.
"No, I don't have a problem with you," he said finally.
"Then why have you been acting like an ass?"
"Why do you care?" he replied coldly. He turned his attention back to his cards, so I had no choice but to stalk away.
Jerk.
And I was stuck with him for two months.
Greeeeeat....
*~*~*
I twitched.
Early.... too.... early... gaaaah...
"Up and at 'em, Blink!" Snitch chirped, yanking the blankets off of my bed. I slowly sat up. Reluctantly. Very reluctantly.
Boy with freakish teeth must die.
He will quickly succumb to my power. PH33R /\/\Y /\/\4D P0\/\/3R!
... that's how you know it's early. When you start thinking in L33T.
I sighed to myself and struggled to my feet. Great. Time for another episode of Hitler In Flashdance Land.
"So what are we doing?" I asked, stifling a yawn. Spot playfully smacked Skittery on the butt as he pranced across the room, scrubbing at his hair with a towel.
And, yes, I did say "prance."
Spot never just walks. He always either skips or trots or prances or some other word of the same caliber. You get the picture.
Anyway.
"We move on to Step Two today," Spot informed me. I pulled on my Von Trapp uniform as quickly as I could, but I'm sure I still gave Spot a nice show.
The dirty pervert.
Not that I didn't like him. I liked almost everyone, except for Racetrack. And Heels and Mayfly were a little scary... but, generally, everyone was pretty cool.
But back to the former subject.
"So, what's Step Two?" I asked, straightening my tie and adjusting my eye patch (for a bit, I thought they were going to make me wear a blue patch...).
"'Redsicovering Your Sexual Identity,'" Snitch said, fighting back a snicker as he grabbed a battered, black baseball cap and pulled it on, backwards. I raised an eyebrow.
"What the hell does that mean?" They all looked at each other and shrugged.
"No one knows for sure," Skittery stated. "Swifty says that they're going to make us play sports, and they're going to make the girls clean stuff."
"How does Swifty know?"
"He had a friend who got sent here."
"Friend, my ass." I sighed to myself. Racetrack was awake. Goody. Now, my day could truly begin. "It was his boyfriend."
"You don't know that for sure," Skittery said quietly. Race snickered.
"Sure, I do. See, Skitts, you may not know this about me, but I'm good at telling that kind of stuff. I'm good at reading people. It's one of the side-effects of being a gambler; you learn to analyze other people's emotions while hiding your own. That guy was Swifty's boyfriend." He finished by pulling a cigarette out of his sleeve and lighting it. It looked almost comical in his cute, little school boy-ish uniform. "By the way... you should just tell him."
Skittery blinked.
"What do you mean?" Race didn't answer. He just looked slowly, really slowly, over at Snitch, who was humming to himself and tying his shoes, oblivious to our conversation.
Skittery's face turned white.
"I... we should go to breakfast." Skittery turned abruptly around and walked quickly out of the door.
Spot and Race exchanged a look. The former sighed and headed out of the door, while the latter snickered and sucked on his cancer stick (not a big fan of smoking).
I looked around to make sure that Snitch had left (which he had) before saying anything.
"Skittery has a crush on Snitch?" I asked, shocked. Race just looked at me and snorted.
"Of course he does, you dipshit." I bristled, which he chose to ignore. "Open your eyes, and you'd see it."
"Well, I'm sorry. I'm not good at reading people like you are," I sneered.
Racetrack just looked at me for a few seconds. Just looked. You know, it's a little disconcerting to see a guy you've labeled as "that crazy, Italian asshole" actually study you.
"Obviously." He crushed his cigarette and brushed past me without another word.
I glared at his back.
God, what an asshole!
*~*~*
It was ten in the morning. I'd stuffed my face with burnt toast and sour orange juice while wearing a uniform that would make any nun want to adopt me. And now, I was sitting outside on the ground in a circle with a bajillion other gay people and a crazy, red-headed lady who was trying to turn us straight by getting us to talk about our "roots." Whatever the hell that was.
Could life get any better?
"Now, children," Medda began. She beamed at us, and I felt my eyeballs melt. Ooooh, the pain. "We're going to continue to work on our roots, or exactly what caused you to become a homosexual, before we start on Step Two. Now, since Isaac wasn't here the first day, we'll have to give him some examples. How about you, Damien?"
Snitch blinked before standing up and clearing his throat.
"Well, uh... I used to play basketball, since I'm so tall. And, er... I guess... all those team showers, you know?" Medda nodded and Snitch sat down.
"Amanda?"
"Oh, me? Well, I live with my aunt and uncle. My uncle's sort of a workaholic, and he never really paid a whole lot of attention to me," Mandy stated, smiling nervously all the while.
"Surprise, surprise," Heels muttered. "Typical man. If they can't fuck you, there's no reason for them to pay any attention to you."
"Rafferty! That's not the kind of attitude we're looking for here!" Heels rolled her eyes.
"Bite me," she muttered under her breath.
"Janel?" Speed stood up, sighed, and scratched her head.
"I really don't think I have one." Medda patted her on the arm.
"Janel, dear, everyone has a root." Speed shot us all a "help me" look before sighing again.
"Well... it's like this. I see a cute guy, and my brain speaks in dots. I see a cute girl, and my brain runs around in circles going, 'ooooooh, prettygirlprettygirlprettygirl!'" We all grinned as Speed beamed in Medda's general direction.
"We'll work on your root, Janel." Medda turned to face me. "So, Isaac, what do you think your root might be?"
I blinked.
"I... I really don't know, to tell you the truth."
"What's the matter, afraid to disclose?" I glared at Racetrack.
"Yeah, well, what's your root?"
"My mother got married in pants," he replied in a mock-serious tone. Any idiot could tell that he was being sarcastic.
Except for one particular idiot, of course. One, Medda Larkson.
She sent a sympathetic look in Race's general direction before looking back at me.
"You are such a moron," Maureen muttered. "You shouldn't say things like-" "What did I tell you about butting in on my conversations?" "They're my conversations, too!"
I sighed. It was way too early for the schizo to be arguing with her self. Medda looked pointedly at Ireland, who had been carefully watering a bed of flowers. Ireland nodded, took Colleen/Maureen gently by the arm, and whispered something to her before leading her... er, them... into the Training Building.
"Now, Isaac, I want you to try writing a song."
I raised an eyebrow.
"A song?" I echoed. Medda nodded cheerfully.
"A song or a poem of some sort. Many people express their feelings well through poetry. Make it about how you feel about your experiences here. Try to include God, if you can!"
Ah. God. Yeeeeeah... that guy up there....
"Oh... okay... I can do that." She smiled brightly.
"I know you can. Try to have it for the day after tomorrow." She then addressed the rest of the group. "All right, everyone. It's time to start Step Two: Rediscovering Your Sexual Identity! As all of you know, there are certain roles that men and women play. This Step will help you learn to associate these roles with their appropriate gender. Boys, meet with David in the field in back of the Training Building. Girls, I was going to send you with Kathleen, but I suppose that now, I'll just have to take you myself!"
The girls looked mortified.
"What a trade-off," Bebop groaned.
"Follow me, girls!" Medda began a brisk walk towards the Training Building.
"I guess we should get going," Swifty muttered. He grinned and raced off.
Wow. So that's why they called him Swifty.
The rest of us trudged along at a comfortable pace until we reached a semi-long field directly behind the giant green building. I happened to glance through a second-floor window and saw the girls staring blankly at a vacuum cleaner.
In a bright pink room.
Ow. Poor kids.
"Hiya, guys!" David smiled at us and waved with one hand while clutching a football with the other.
"Someone needs to stop shrinking his laundry," Spot muttered in my ear. I snickered. Just like before, David's clothes looked like they belonged on someone a few inches shorter and a few pounds lighter than him.
David just grinned happily and tossed the football from hand to hand.
Idiot.
"Okay, guys. Today, we're gonna be playing the grand, old game of football."
"No shit, Sherlock," Itey hissed under his breath. That kid scared me. Not quite as much as Heels and Colleen/Maureen, but more than Mayfly. So, that's about a seven or an eight on my Freaky Shit-O-Meter.
As if you care.
"Now, let's see... there's an odd number, so I'll be a captain. And..." He scanned the crowd for a minute. "Roger, you can be the other captain." Swifty grinned and stepped forward. "We can pick teams and start!"
So it is written, so it is done.
Hey, The Ten Commandments was my little brother's favorite movie for years.
Anyway. I ended up on Swifty's team, and we started playing. And, believe it or not, we were pretty damn good. Well, Spot wasn't... but everyone else wasn't bad.
Until Mush came along.
And then I realized that they weren't gonna make this thing easy for us.
There he was, dressed in his too-tight shirt and his too-short shorts. And he had a rake.
Sounds sexy so far, right?
Kidding. It was actually just kind of weird.
Until he started doing... erm... suggestive things with said rake. That's really all I can say, lest my face burst into flames.
And let me tell you something. A guy with that kind of body doing that kind of stuff in front of a group of gay, hormone-ridden teenage boys?
Not a good combination for us.
... was Spot groping me?
"Look at yourselves!" We all immediately turned our attention away from the Sex God of Rakes and stared guiltily at a very angry-looking David. Spot smiled sheepishly and took his hand off of my ass.
Oookay....
"You should be ashamed of yourselves! This is exactly the kind of behavior we're trying to prevent!" I probably would have been a bit frightened, if David hadn't been sneaking glances at Mush's ass throughout his entire schpiel. Mush grabbed his rake and meandered off, but not before sending a wink in Davey's general direction.
I'm observant; so sue me.
With his love interest gone, David had no choice but to focus solely on us.
"If I ever catch you guys looking at another man like that, you'll be watching sports all weekend!"
I felt Spot shudder.
"Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, David," we chorused. David nodded, satisfied.
"Okay. Let's get back to the game."
Thus, Step Two continued.
*~*~*
I don't really think I need to babble any more about what went on; it was pretty boring, except when Maureen had a psycho moment and threw a trash can out of the window... when it was still closed.
I played football with the guys for a couple of hours, listened to David yell, and tried to avoid Spot, who had apparently decided that he hadn't groped me enough before. Took a break for lunch, had some more "root" discussions with Medda, was nearly murdered by Heels when Mandy tripped over me, and switched to playing basketball. Snitch and Skittery kicked everyone's asses. Took a break, ate dinner, and we now found ourselves sitting in a circle around a fake campfire as the sun began to set. Medda smiled brightly.
"All right, everyone. I'm going to pair you up with a partner, and then let you work with these." She held up two sets of cards: one pink set and one blue set. "These will help you to understand the roles that men and women play in society. Quiz each other!"
She started pairing us up.
And guess who I got stuck with?
Racetrack Higgins. Oh, joy. Oh, rapture.
And that's why I was sitting on the ground shoving flash cards of different men in the little asshole's face.
"Okay, what's this one?" I asked, exasperated. Race stared blankly at the card. It was a picture of a guy reclining in a lounge chair, smoking a pipe, and reading a newspaper while a little girl chased a dog at his feet.
"Who cares?" I groaned.
"That's an easy one, Race! It's a father! Look, you're never gonna get straight if you don't understand what roles men play in society!" He raised an eyebrow.
"Well, do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Understand this role shit." I glared at him.
"I'm still working on my root. I actually want to get straight." Racetrack grinned and shook his head.
"Blink, listen to me. This. Does. Not. Work. Okay? We're gay, and we're gonna stay that way, no matter what Medda thinks."
I didn't have anything to say to that. Mostly because I knew that he was right, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of letting him know that. He snatched the cards from me.
"Your turn." I looked.
He'd put a picture of a very buff, very good-looking, very naked guy in front of me.
I stared.
Racetrack then chose that point in time to produce a long, black tube with a red light on the end and poke me with it.
BZZT!
I fell off of the fake tree stump, surprised by the shock I got from the little thing. Race was cracking up.
Dirty bastard.
"Gotta be more prepared for temptation, Blink," he said, grinning wildly. I sent him a glare that could have peeled paint before settling myself back on to the stump.
"What the hell is that thing, anyway?" Race grinned, held up the tube, and pressed a button. The red light lit up, and it made a buzzing noise.
"This is a taser. If you have inappropriate fantasies about guys, you're supposed to shock yourself with it."
My jaw dropped.
"That's sick!"
"No pain, no gain. Better get used to it, ya pansy." I glared at him once more before stomping off.
If he wanted to be an asshole, he could. But I wasn't gonna sit there and deal with it.
But, you know, I couldn't help notice that he abruptly stopped laughing when I left. I think he even said something along the lines of, "Aw, come on, Blink."
Maybe there was some humanity under that bastardized front he put up.
..... nah.
End Chapter Three
I'll get these notes out of the way as fast as I can, because this thing is already fifteen pages. ^_^ The Mafia game is totally pointless; just trying to establish relationships. I think I've pretty much given away what's going to happen. Even to those who haven't seen the movie probably know. *shrugs and grins* Ah, well. And Spot is hitting on Blink because... well, he hits on everyone. He doesn't particularly have a crush on Blink or anything. He's actually got a boyfriend, as you'll find out later. *evil grin* Anyway. One to shout-outs!
Stage: Hmmm... Specs/Dutchy... gee, I dunno... *grins wildly* They'll be coming in later, dearheart. I luffle the Stage! *beams and huggles* I don't think I'll need to slash-ify you. Thanks for letting me know, though. *sings "Blazing Saddles"*
Krispy-kun: Chris, I love you like a fat kid loves cake! *grins wildly* That was on the Big Urban Myth Show last night. "We love myths like a fat kid loves cake!" I was all like, w00t! Krispy-face! But, anyway, darlin', I lurve you and your writing-ness and I still want to molest Bebai. And I think you should have shoved Pyralis and Rokan in the room instead. *cackles*
Tabloid: *flying tackle glomps* Oh, how I love the Tab. *giggles wildly* You make me smile. Anyway. Keep writing, dearie, because it makes me happy and whatnot. *steals PianoMan!Snoddy and runs off, cackling* DANTEEEEEEEE!
i stalk nez: Yes, FF.net should be shot in the face, but we all know that. *growls* Anyway. BRIGHT EYES! WHEEE! *huggles Bright Eyes* Tankies for the review!
geometrygal: I repeat, FF.net should be shot in the face. *sighs* You are forgiven! ^_^ Anyway. Yes, UberGothAndInLoveWithRace!Itey is rather amusing, isn't he? *giggles wildly* Wait... forget the "in love with Race" part! *shifty eyes* Anyway. Gracias for the lurvely review! *beams*
Shot: FF.net hates me. *sobs* WHYYYYY?! Ah, well. Once again, uber-glad that you're doing the college troupe ficcie. *beams* I'M EXCITED! *cackles* STUPID COLLEGE! *kicks college, too* ... I'm scared of college... though I did get a letter from the College of Santa Fe. I was all excited about that. Ahem. Anyway. Tankies, tankies for reviewing!
Cake Eater (Q): You know, I don't think that there are any coherent sentences that I can use that can possibly describe how hard I was laughing when I read your review. *grins wildly* I. Adore. You. And your insanity. ESPECIALLY your insanity. Thanks for the review-ness!
Gothic Author: *sprays with immortality spray* You can't die until I get more "Matchmaker!" *nods stubbornly* Love the new title, by the way. *giggles* Yes, Flamer!Spot is SO fun. *cackles and dances in a circle* I'll loan him to you after the story, if you'd like. Well... he's technically Lute's, since he appeared in "Outkasts" looooong before he came around here... so I'll just rename him FairyQueen!Spot. *cackles* Anyway. Tankies SO much for the loverly review!
kellyanne: *grins wildly* I love that movie SO much... Natasha Lyone (or however you spell it) isn't exactly a very good actress, but what can you do? XD I think UberGoth!Itey is this fic's official mascot.... maybe I should change his name to BIAP!Itey.... *shrugs and grins* Thanks for reviewing!
Colleen/Maureen: *huggles* I love me some Colleen. AND WE'RE PLAYING MAFIA ON FRIDAY! I PROMISE! Oooh! You know what we should do one day? While we're warming up, we should all do the Rob face! *cackles* I'm easily amused. Anyway. Reviewing-ness! YAY!
Dakota-Jones: *grins wildly* Glad you liked it! By the way... your fics? Yeah, they rock. Pretty hard, as a matter of fact. *grins again and dances* Uber-tankies for the beautimus review! *beams*
Yoko-chan: I'm sorry, what was that? *listens intently* I believe I heard you say something like, "a week" and yet, I see no update. Ah, well. You've been writing Newsies fics, so I'll forgive you. *flying tackle glomps* Have I mentioned how much I luuuuurve you? XD XD XD By the way, tell Meghan to get her arse over here and review. *cackles* *glomps again* Love for the Janel!
Ireland: *beams proudly* Tankies, tankies! *giggles and dances* MEL BROOKS! YEEEEEAH! Mel Brooks rocks. Hard. I'd have to say my favorite is... Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Or The History of the World, Part One. But Men in Tights is rockin', too. *grins* Syankuu for revieeeeewing!
Cards: Really? *feels all special* Well, tankies, then! *beams*
Cerri: Everyone seems to like Flamer!Spot and UberGoth!Itey. I'm glad! *smiles cheerily* YES! InDenial!Blink is no more! *cackles* Thanks for the lovely review-ness!
Pyromaniacal Llama: GOD, I love your name. *grins* *is poked* I update! *is all proud* Of course, the next update will probably be in, like... five months. *sweatdrop* Well, not that long... but I'm not good with updates, as you can see. Anyway! Tankie-ness for reviewing!
Frogger No Baka: *glomps* Yes, yes! You MUST see it! ("Shit, Miss Mary, I ain't the only one who don't got no root." "Andre, we don't use profanity or double negatives here at True Directions.") Anyway. *pokes* "DANCE 'TIL I DIE!" WRITE, WRITE, WRITE! *cracks whip* *smiles innocently* Anyway. Syankuu for reviewing and whatnot. *beams*
Checkmate: *giggles* Glad you enjoyed it! And, yup, actual lines! *beams and dances in a circle* Tankies for the lurvely review-ness! *beams again*
hilaRyB: AND MARRY IT YOU SHALL! *nods defiantly* Anyway. *beams* But I'm a Cheerleader is friggin' hysterical. My friend and I rented it, and we ended up watching it five times in two days. It was wonderful. *grins* HornyFlaming!Newsies are always fun. *cackles* Asshorts!Mush... good name for him... *grins* (Asshorts!Mush: *picks wedgie*) .... 'kay. Anyway! Syankuu SO much for the review! *beams*
Well, that's it, guys. Next chappie probably won't be out for a bit. I want to get another chapter of "As the Curtain Falls" out, and maybe, if I'm lucky, a chapter of TSIWOTPO. My original fic... crap, forgot about that thing... *frowns* Ah, well. Anyway, hope you enjoy this! *beams and waves* *cough*review*cough*reviewreview*cough*