"As if I wouldn't?" said Blaise, chucking the carrot and celery at a small Hufflepuff first year.
"You mean," began Draco, but Christina stopped him. "Don't act like anything weird happened. Just go along with it." she whispered. "Nice to have you, ba-I mean here, Zabini." Said Draco.
"Why thank you Malfoy. And how nice it is to have you here as well."
"Did you miss me Blaise?" asked Pansy.
"Pansy, it's hard to miss something you never even slightly liked, let alone something you hate." Pansy stared again, like she was in deep thought. Wait a minute, Pansy? Deep thought? No way.
"Well I missed you too Blaise!" she said as she swung her arms around him.
"Dumb as a pile of bricks…" said Christina.
"What?" asked Pansy.
"Nothing…I was just saying how the Gryffindors are a bunch of dicks!" she yelled in Pansy's face. Several Gryffindors looked over, but just nodded in agreement and returned to whatever those idiots did.
"Oh," said Pansy. "Well, yes, they really are quite dumb." Draco coughed again.
"Excuse me, Pansy, while I die of astonishment. You see, it's not everyday you get someone who believes that they might in some way, be intelligent, let alone having that person accuse others of being in the same boat." said Draco. Pansy had tears in her eyes.
"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, Draco, but I do know this. I may not be the most smartest thing in the world, but I'm not stupid!" she yelled.
"Au contrare, you are very stupid." said Blaise. Pansy ran out of the hall. Some people laughed. Others threw things at her.
"Now I feel bad." said Christina.
"Slytherins don't feel bad, Christina. They feel somewhat empty, which lasts for about a second or two, then they resume feeling superior to everyone else." said Blaise.
"Thank you Blaise, I'll remember that." she said as she poured herself some hot cocoa.
"I've been thinking, Locke," began Draco. "And I've been wondering,"
"Yes?" she asked him as she drew her cup of cocoa to her mouth.
"When am I finally going to get some? I mean, it's been weeks now, this little thing we've got going on, and well, let's just say the people are talking." She looked disgusted.
"What have we got going on? What 'little thing'? You know what I think of your little thing, Draco?" she dumped her cup of cocoa right in his lap. "That's what I think of it." Draco screamed.
"Oh dear god! Not the family jewels! Have you gone fucking mad?" he yelled.
"What is wrong with us? Us Slytherins? Why are we all so fucked up in the mind?" yelled Christina. "Is there one of us who's normal?"
"I ain't no normal white boy. My mama told me I was special back in the day, and she aint gon' go changing her mind now." said Dumbledore, who had apparently been watching the Slytherins. Snape stood up at the teacher's table.
"Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be a man? I wear lipstick, and mascara. And I have a wig, and it's not even a nice wig! It's older than McGonagall!" he yelled as McGonagall gasped. "I just want to be a pretty boy mama! A pretty boy! I have a confession to make! I did Quirrell! And I loved every minute of it!" he began crying and ran out the side door at the head of the room. Christina sat down next to Draco again.
"I'm sorry I called you fucked up." she said to him. "Obviously, there is worse in this world.." she added.
Meanwhile, at the Gryffindor table…
"I always knew Snape had a thing for Quirrell." said Harry. "Ever since that night with the invisibility cloak, I knew they were more than just vicious enemies."
"Oh yes. Everyone saw that coming. The greasy haired, make-up wearing prick and the stuttering moron with an evil control freak in the back of his head. A match made in heaven." said Hermione.
"Sounds like your parents, 'Mione." said Harry.
"Shut up about my parents drama queen!"
"I am not a drama queen!" screamed Harry.
"Potter, you invented drama queen," said Malfoy across the room.
"Alright, settle down kiddies," said Bella. "Both of you, just keep away from each other for a while."
"You're plotting against me, aren't you?" yelled Hermione.
"What the hell are you talking about bush head?" said Bella. Ron looked scared.
"You're keeping me away from Harry so you can have him all to yourself! You bitch!"
"My friend over there already beat the crap out of you, uptight whore, so I suggest you sit down and shut that annoying hole in your face before I do it myself this time." the Slytherins all looked at Christina and smirked. Then they watched the fight again.
"I will not back dow-" Hermione said, but was interrupted. Bella slapped her in the face and she fell backwards. "Ok, I'm done. You win." she said from the floor.
"Thought so.." said Bella. The Great Hall clapped, and Hermione lay on the floor for a while. "Anyway, we better eat fast so we can go pack. We're going home today!" she said happily. "Where are you guys going, anyway?" she asked Ron and Harry.
"Ron's house. I'd screw Voldemort before I'd spend another Christmas with the Dursley's." he added.
"Ooh you get to spend Christmas together?" Bella said. "I want to come!" Both boys choked.
"Seriously?" they asked.
"Yeah! Ooh this will be so fun! I can't wait…"
"Neither can I.." said Harry throwing a smirk at Ron.
"You mean," began Draco, but Christina stopped him. "Don't act like anything weird happened. Just go along with it." she whispered. "Nice to have you, ba-I mean here, Zabini." Said Draco.
"Why thank you Malfoy. And how nice it is to have you here as well."
"Did you miss me Blaise?" asked Pansy.
"Pansy, it's hard to miss something you never even slightly liked, let alone something you hate." Pansy stared again, like she was in deep thought. Wait a minute, Pansy? Deep thought? No way.
"Well I missed you too Blaise!" she said as she swung her arms around him.
"Dumb as a pile of bricks…" said Christina.
"What?" asked Pansy.
"Nothing…I was just saying how the Gryffindors are a bunch of dicks!" she yelled in Pansy's face. Several Gryffindors looked over, but just nodded in agreement and returned to whatever those idiots did.
"Oh," said Pansy. "Well, yes, they really are quite dumb." Draco coughed again.
"Excuse me, Pansy, while I die of astonishment. You see, it's not everyday you get someone who believes that they might in some way, be intelligent, let alone having that person accuse others of being in the same boat." said Draco. Pansy had tears in her eyes.
"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, Draco, but I do know this. I may not be the most smartest thing in the world, but I'm not stupid!" she yelled.
"Au contrare, you are very stupid." said Blaise. Pansy ran out of the hall. Some people laughed. Others threw things at her.
"Now I feel bad." said Christina.
"Slytherins don't feel bad, Christina. They feel somewhat empty, which lasts for about a second or two, then they resume feeling superior to everyone else." said Blaise.
"Thank you Blaise, I'll remember that." she said as she poured herself some hot cocoa.
"I've been thinking, Locke," began Draco. "And I've been wondering,"
"Yes?" she asked him as she drew her cup of cocoa to her mouth.
"When am I finally going to get some? I mean, it's been weeks now, this little thing we've got going on, and well, let's just say the people are talking." She looked disgusted.
"What have we got going on? What 'little thing'? You know what I think of your little thing, Draco?" she dumped her cup of cocoa right in his lap. "That's what I think of it." Draco screamed.
"Oh dear god! Not the family jewels! Have you gone fucking mad?" he yelled.
"What is wrong with us? Us Slytherins? Why are we all so fucked up in the mind?" yelled Christina. "Is there one of us who's normal?"
"I ain't no normal white boy. My mama told me I was special back in the day, and she aint gon' go changing her mind now." said Dumbledore, who had apparently been watching the Slytherins. Snape stood up at the teacher's table.
"Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be a man? I wear lipstick, and mascara. And I have a wig, and it's not even a nice wig! It's older than McGonagall!" he yelled as McGonagall gasped. "I just want to be a pretty boy mama! A pretty boy! I have a confession to make! I did Quirrell! And I loved every minute of it!" he began crying and ran out the side door at the head of the room. Christina sat down next to Draco again.
"I'm sorry I called you fucked up." she said to him. "Obviously, there is worse in this world.." she added.
Meanwhile, at the Gryffindor table…
"I always knew Snape had a thing for Quirrell." said Harry. "Ever since that night with the invisibility cloak, I knew they were more than just vicious enemies."
"Oh yes. Everyone saw that coming. The greasy haired, make-up wearing prick and the stuttering moron with an evil control freak in the back of his head. A match made in heaven." said Hermione.
"Sounds like your parents, 'Mione." said Harry.
"Shut up about my parents drama queen!"
"I am not a drama queen!" screamed Harry.
"Potter, you invented drama queen," said Malfoy across the room.
"Alright, settle down kiddies," said Bella. "Both of you, just keep away from each other for a while."
"You're plotting against me, aren't you?" yelled Hermione.
"What the hell are you talking about bush head?" said Bella. Ron looked scared.
"You're keeping me away from Harry so you can have him all to yourself! You bitch!"
"My friend over there already beat the crap out of you, uptight whore, so I suggest you sit down and shut that annoying hole in your face before I do it myself this time." the Slytherins all looked at Christina and smirked. Then they watched the fight again.
"I will not back dow-" Hermione said, but was interrupted. Bella slapped her in the face and she fell backwards. "Ok, I'm done. You win." she said from the floor.
"Thought so.." said Bella. The Great Hall clapped, and Hermione lay on the floor for a while. "Anyway, we better eat fast so we can go pack. We're going home today!" she said happily. "Where are you guys going, anyway?" she asked Ron and Harry.
"Ron's house. I'd screw Voldemort before I'd spend another Christmas with the Dursley's." he added.
"Ooh you get to spend Christmas together?" Bella said. "I want to come!" Both boys choked.
"Seriously?" they asked.
"Yeah! Ooh this will be so fun! I can't wait…"
"Neither can I.." said Harry throwing a smirk at Ron.