A/N: Major spoilers for those of you who are not current with the manga. This story takes place after the events of chapter 313 of volume 32.
This is a rated R fic. It contains strong language, violence, and adult situations. It is not suited for readers under 17 years of age. You have been warned. Please review!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Inu Yasha characters.
Chapter 1: Words of Wisdom
"Please, don't let him follow me when he recovers. I need time…to think. I'll be back when I'm ready." The girl from the future said to her friends of the past. Regret, sorrow, and pain filled the depths of her hazel eyes as she cast one last look at the unconscious hanyou. He lay on his back, bandages wrapped securely around the wounds over his bare chest, shoulder, and abdomen. "I promise, I'll be back. I just need time."
The others nodded solemnly as she gave one final hug to the kitsune child snuggled tightly in her arms. For once he did not cry over her leaving. Instead, he squeezed her once more before leaping into the awaiting arms of the taijiya. They watched as she slung her heavy yellow bag over her shoulder and exited the hut.
Tears streamed down her face and she trembled slightly as she walked quickly through the village, increasing her pace to a full run as she came to the clearing where the Bone-Eaters Well lay. Without stopping she hopped onto the lip of the well and dropped down into its eerie darkness. Instantly a bright pink and rose light surrounded her as she was transported from the Sengoku Jidai to the future, to her home.
Grasping the rope ladder she pulled herself up out of the sacred well. With slow steps she walked up the shrine steps to the house she had lived in her whole life. The house that, until her fifteenth birthday, had been the only home she knew. The home before Mistress Centipede, before the Shikon no Tama, before Naraku, before Inu Yasha.
Once inside the now quiet house, she dropped her backpack, not caring that its contents spilled out onto the floor. Her mind was not here, on this home, but focused on her other home, the warring states era of Japan. The home where she was a young miko, the reincarnate of another miko who had died more than fifty years before her appearance in the Sengoku Jidai and nearly five hundred years before her birth into the modern world. The home where she fought beside a perverted monk, a demon huntress and her fire cat youkai, an orphaned kitsune kit, and an inu hanyou who had stolen her heart never to give it back, never to love her the way she loved him.
Entering her bedroom that she had not seen in weeks, or was it months, Higurashi Kagome lay down on her bed and cried. Cried for the sorrow of her broken heart, her torn and tattered body, her lost life in her own time, the stolen part of her soul to her now undead incarnate, and the future she was afraid to face.
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Inu Yasha stirred, wincing as his battered body protested his slight movement. Opening his amber-gold eyes, he tried to remember where he was and what had happened that had brought him here. Immediately flashes of memory enlightened him. He had been in battle against the princess who had sided with his mortal enemy, Naraku. Her birds attacking him and the castle where Sango's brother, Kohaku, had been with the child Naraku had separated from his demon combinate body. Looking up at the wooden ceiling of the familiar hut, he recognized the scent of the old miko Kaede and his friends. Sniffing the air, he searched for one scent in particular, but it was faint, days old. She wasn't there and he had to wonder why. Kagome always stayed by his side when he was injured, why was her scent so old as if she had not been there for a while?
Pulling himself up into a sitting position, he growled at the pain from his nearly healed wounds. The skin pulled tight over the newly formed scars, but he did not care. His youkai blood would heal them in another day or two leaving behind no evidence of the deadly battle.
"Inu Yasha, you shouldn't be moving. You took quite a beating from Abi." Miroku quietly said as he approached the injured hanyou.
"Feh," he snorted, "I've had worse from Sesshoumaru." Looking around the hut, he met the eyes of his friends. Sango sat by a low burning fire polishing her large bone boomerang, Shippou and Kirara were curled up sleeping in a far corner, and Kaede babaa stood stirring an herbal mixture in a small bowl. "Where's Kagome?" At the mention of the young miko's name, the others looked away. An uneasy feeling filled him as he asked again, "Where is she, Miroku?" He snarled at the hoshi, his eyes boring into the man beside him.
Miroku turned to the others, as if speaking by mental transmission. They left the hut, Sango waking the kitsune and fire cat before carrying them out the doorway. When they were the only two remaining, the hoshi sat down cross-legged beside the inu youkai. Ignoring the hardened glare from his friend, Miroku sat in thoughtful contemplation before finally speaking. "You are a fool, Inu Yasha."
"Nani?" He growled, his eyes narrowing. "What's this about, monk, where is Kagome?"
"She has left for her own time. She has changed, and I fear not for the better." Miroku looked down at the staff resting against his shoulder. The smooth polished wood gleamed in the light of the fire.
"What do you mean? What's happened to her?" Concern now edged the hanyou's voice to a sharp bark.
"She has a broken heart and you are to blame. She loves you, and you are too stupid to see it. Since she healed Kikyou's wounds you have grown distant. You both have."
Inu Yasha looked at the monk, doubt in his golden orbs. "Loves me? Feh! You don't know what you're talking about, Miroku. And she's the one who's being distant."
The hoshi thought about this before responding, "Do you know why?" The hanyou only shook his head in bewilderment. "As I said, you are a fool!" Inu Yasha stared in amazement at the venom in Miroku's words. "She knew you wanted to follow Kikyou, she knew you only stayed out of guilt. You could not even answer Sango-sama's question. If Kagome-sama had been happy when we found her, she knew you would have gone after Kikyou."
Inu Yasha slowly rose to his feet, ignoring the pain in his shoulder and chest. "I'm going to go get her."
Before he could turn away, Miroku's hand shot out grabbing Inu Yasha's wrist in a tight grip. "If you do, we stand…you stand… the chance to lose her forever. She did not want you to go to her time. Kagome asked all of us to keep you away from the well and her. Her heart is broken. She has suffered one too many blows. You think she does not love you? Then why, Inu Yasha, does she still follow you after Naraku knowing you have chosen your past love? Why does Kikyou's presence and even name anger her? Why did she close herself off after she healed Kikyou's wound from Naraku? Even more important, why did she heal Kikyou? She needs time to think and clear her head. She was devastated when you were wounded. We have never seen you take such injuries before. It was Kagome-sama who cleaned your wounds, bandaged them, and held you until she knew you would survive. Not Kikyou, who wishes your death, but Kagome who wishes you to live."
"How long has she been gone?" The inu hanyou spoke softly, his eyes focused on the intense gaze of the hoshi.
"Three days now. For once, heed her words and do not follow her. If you love her or have any feelings for her at all, then let her come back on her own, when she is ready." With that said, Miroku stood and left, the soft tinkling of the rings of his staff and the crackling of the fire the only sounds in the quiet hut.
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Kagome threw her pencil across the room. "Why do I even bother?" She asked the calico cat watching with glowing eyes. She shoved her schoolbooks aside, unbidden tears burning the rims of her eyes. It had been like this since her return from the Sengoku Jidai nearly two weeks before. At first Kagome had stayed closed off in her room, ignoring the concern from her family about her well being. After two days of sulking, she had finally left her confines. Never more than a few words did she speak to her family. She spoke even less to her friends at school. But she didn't care about any of that. She wasn't thinking about them, but about the hanyou who she hated and yet loved.
"Kagome?" A knock on her door followed by a soft voice. "Honey, dinner's ready."
Kagome stared at her closed door, the dry sobs stuck in her throat preventing her from speaking.
"Kagome?" The door opened slowly, the shorthaired head of her mom peeking in. At seeing her daughter struggling to regain control of her emotions, her mother instincts kicked in. "Kagome, talk to me. I'm here to listen, to love you, to help you if I can." She approached the girl, gentle arms reaching out.
Suddenly Kagome found herself jumping into her mother's open arms, her own arms wrapping fiercely around the woman in a desperate hug. "Mama, I'm so afraid. I just don't know what to do." Her sobs grew in strength as she broke down, releasing all she had felt over the past several weeks.
Mrs. Higurashi led her daughter to the bed. Sitting down while still embraced, she stroked her fingers through Kagome's long, black hair, her free hand rubbing up and down the girls back. Finally, she pulled away, looking intently into her daughter's tear stained face. "Tell me about it, Kagome. What has you so upset?"
Once again Kagome brought her sobs and tears under control before pouring her heart out to the only person she knew would understand. "He doesn't love me, and I love him so much. Again and again he chooses Kikyou, and again and again I stand by and watch. He was badly hurt, Mama. And the entire time I tended his wounds, I kept thinking why? He's only going to die anyway, letting his dead girlfriend drag him off to hell. I don't know if I can stand by him anymore…" she broke off as a quiet sob escaped her, "knowing his feelings. I promised him that I would, I told him I wanted to see him live, but…" her words faded as she turned her face away from her mother's, her eyes resting on the Go Shinboku tree outside her bedroom window.
Stroking a hand through Kagome's hair, she encouraged her to continue, "but what?"
"But how can I do that? How can make him see me for me, how can I make him choose life over death? I know he cares, but I want more than that. He's my best friend, Mama. I can't just stand by and let this happen. Yet, I don't know how to stop it. I'm afraid of what will happen when we finally complete the Shikon no Tama and defeat Naraku. I know I don't tell you everything about what happens on the other side. Sometimes I wonder if I will live to see home and my family again. Then I look at Inu Yasha and know that I will. But now, I wonder. I wonder if when it's all over, will I lose more than my heart, will I lose my soul too?"
Mrs. Higurashi cradled the young miko against her, her words soft and soothing, "Kagome, I have seen the two of you together. I know, as a mother, the love you share for each other. Inu Yasha has had a hard life, and I don't think emotions and feelings come easy for him. You said before he feels responsible for that miko's death. You have to make him see that responsibility does not mean accepting death. Fate has chosen you for whatever reason to be by his side now. Not her, but you, Kagome."
Kagome looked imploringly into her mother's eyes, "But how, Mama? How do I make him understand that she is his past and that life is his future…perhaps a life with me?"
Mrs. Higurashi cupped her hand over her daughter's cheek, "Listen to your heart, sweetheart, and it may help you find a way."
Squeezing her mother in a suffocating hug, "Arigato, Mama. I think I'll stay here for a little while longer before I return to the Sengoku Jidai."
"Come on, dinner is ready. I made oden." At this, Kagome smiled brightly, only her mom knew how to truly make her feel better.
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Inu Yasha stared up at the night sky. The partially veiled stars winked down at him, the black curtain of night lit by the half moon. The strong winds whipped the canopy of the forest trees, their leaves shivering fiercely as they shook. A storm was brewing, evident by the black mists of cloud that blocked out the night sky in the distance. It was hours away, but by morning it would be pouring rain.
He snorted at this thought. The coming storm seemed to fit his dark mood. Kagome had been gone two weeks. She had not bothered to say goodbye to him, only snuck off through the well while he was too injured to know. As heavy clouds drifted in the inky sky, so too did his thoughts. Inu Yasha had spent the time since his recovery thinking about Miroku's words. Speaking to no one, he perched on his favorite branch in the Go Shinboku Tree near the well. At night he ran off into the forest to hunt, by day sitting in the branches lost in thought.
'Does she really love me?' He asked himself for the thousandth time. Miroku's words came back again and again to haunt him…"Why… does she still follow you after Naraku knowing you have chosen your past love? Why does Kikyou's presence and even name anger her? Why did she close herself off after she healed Kikyou's wound from Naraku? Even more important, why did she heal Kikyou?"
'Baka!' The voice inside his head berated him. 'She does love you. Why else would she care so much?' A solitary tear slid down his face, the second time he could ever remember crying. When had been the first? 'When you thought Kagome was dead. When you thought the Shichinin-tai had killed your friends and Myouga-jiji had saved them.' He answered his own question. He knew he had feelings, very strong feelings, for Kagome. But he owed Kikyou. He made her weak, susceptible to Naraku's plot against them. If he had not loved her she would have lived. For her he would be human, freeing her from her duties as the Shikon no Tama's protector. Instead, Naraku destroyed them both. Inu Yasha had been pinned to the God Tree for fifty years before Kagome freed him. Kagome, whom he had tried to kill after unsealing him had stayed by his side, fought with him and even made him smile-on rare occasions. Kagome was full of life and made him stronger, gave him purpose. She changed him in a way he never thought possible. He had sworn to protect Kagome and he had sworn to protect Kikyou. He knew what he owed one, but what did he owe the other? He could not give his life to both, nor could he truly choose. "I love them both." He cried, the wind and the forest his only witness.
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The boy walked toward the shrine, a bouquet of soft pink roses grasped tightly in his hand. As he approached the steps leading to the main house, a movement caught his eye. Turning his head, he caught the outline of a familiar figure entering the darkness of the well house. "Higurashi!" He called out as he quickened his pace to a light run. The girl only stopped long enough to close the doors to the sacred building. "She must not have heard me." He said aloud.
Now in a full run he threw open the doors only to find the darkness within empty. Hearing a soft echo he approached the lip of the well and looked within. He gasped as he met the eyes of the girl, her body dangling from a thick, knotted rope ladder. "Higurashi! What are you doing? You should not be in here with your ill health!" His hands shot out dropping the flowers to the ground as he grasped hold of one of her wrists.
"Houjo-kun!" Kagome exclaimed as the boy grabbed hold of one of her hands, pulling roughly to drag her from the well. "What are you doing here? Let go!" She demanded as she struggled to maintain her balance with the heavy bag on one shoulder and the determined boy playing tug-of-war with her wrist. She yanked her arm back fiercely, realizing her mistake only when it was too late. The weight of her pack pulled her back and Houjo leaned closer to once again grasp hold of her hand. Suddenly they both tumbled into the depths of the well, the bright shimmering light encasing them as they left Tokyo and slipped into the Sengoku Jidai.
A/N: A little depressing! But don't worry, I am a firm believer in the IY/Kag. S/M pairings! It sounds a little flighty right now, since the prolog does not fit with this chapter, but trust me, it will blend and make sense. I was doing dishes and this story started flowing in my head and would not stop! It practically wrote itself. The prolog is actually current, the story is a flashback of the events leading to the prolog. I hope that makes sense. If you are not current on the manga and don't mind the spoilers you can e-mail me and I will be glad to fill you in on details since they are important to this fic…especially Inu Yasha and Kagome's roles as well as Sango and Miroku's. I chose to begin this fic at Chapter 313 because it fit what I needed to do this story! I hope you liked it, please review and tell me what you think! I would really like to hear your opinions!