This part is supposed to come together with the last part - they are both
accompanied by the same song and should be read together - the song is "If
you're gone" by Matchbox Twenty.
If you're gone - 2
*
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind
*
Erik signed at the bottom of the report and placed it on his out tray. That was it - Calleigh's work was all done, he covered for her just like he promised.
But why did she need him to?
The look on her face when she came to tell him she was leaving for the day played over and over in his mind. He could tell there was something wrong - but he couldn't tell what.for a minute he wondered if it was something to do with Hagen - but then he realized he wasn't that lucky!
He collected his things and headed out the door, leaving the building and walking slowly to his car. He got in and started driving, not really knowing where he was going - and not really caring. He didn't want to get home just yet - the empty apartment, the messages from his sisters and parents - he just didn't have the strength for it all right now.
He drove for about half an hour and then stopped, sitting in the car for a few minutes in silence - he suddenly noticed the neighborhood looked familiar and then realized that he was standing outside her apartment.
He could see the light was still on.
*
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling
*
After her father finally passed out in her bedroom she took the cordless phone and stepped out to the porch, dialing John's number.
"Calleigh!" He breathed hard as soon as he heard her voice "What happened? I was worried sick about you!"
"Nothing John!" She lied "I just wasn't feeling too well and I went home to get some sleep"
"You sound funny Call', like you've been crying or something." he said quietly
"I'm fine John, really! I told you I think I'm coming down with something"
"You want me to come over and take care of you?"
"NO!" her answer came to quickly and too adamantly, she could almost see him recoil on the other end of the line "Really, there's no need" she took on a softer tone "I'm just going to go and sleep. I'll see you tomorrow John"
She hung up the phone quickly, before he had time to respond. She didn't even know why she was lying but for some reason she just couldn't bring herself to tell him about her father's alcoholism. She knew he would understand, but she also knew he would feel a need to take care of it for her - or at least to try. He would want her to deal with it, he would give her advises on how to do it - to force her father to go to rehab, to stop going out and picking him up when he was drunk - all those things that she knew deep down she had to do, all those things she couldn't help but doing.
She knew that her behavior, her silence, was only making it worst. It was telling her father that there will always be someone to catch him, someone to clean up his mess. Every shrink she ever went to told her that she had to let him hit rock bottom - to allow him to freefall.
But she couldn't.
*
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
*
She placed her head between her hands and sighed deeply - God! she needed someone to talk to right now, someone who wouldn't say anything, who wouldn't have any advise to give, someone who would just sit there and listen.
Again she thought about calling John and coming clean, but her stomach started flip-flopping just at the thought of it so she pushed the idea out of her mind. The doorbell rang and she stretched as she walked over to the door - wondering who it could be at this hour.
She suddenly thought that it must be John, that he came after all, to yell at her for being so rude or something - she made the last few steps to the door a lot slower and opened it slightly.
In the doorway, Erik stood, looking at his feet and at the door and at her welcome mat - pretty much anywhere but at her.
*
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
*
"Erik, what are you doing here?" the surprise in her voice was evident, but under it Erik could feel something else - was it relief? Or was he just starting to hear what he wanted to hear?
"I drove by and saw your light on, I thought I'd come up to check on you" he said sheepishly and she had he urge to just hug him right then and there.
"You drove by?" She couldn't help but smile "Erik, your house is clear across town!"
"I took a detour!?" He said his tone a mixture of humor and hope - hope that she wouldn't press the subject any further. When she chuckled he continued "Seriously Call', you left kind of in a hurry today. Is everything ok?"
*
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
*
If you're gone - 2
*
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind
*
Erik signed at the bottom of the report and placed it on his out tray. That was it - Calleigh's work was all done, he covered for her just like he promised.
But why did she need him to?
The look on her face when she came to tell him she was leaving for the day played over and over in his mind. He could tell there was something wrong - but he couldn't tell what.for a minute he wondered if it was something to do with Hagen - but then he realized he wasn't that lucky!
He collected his things and headed out the door, leaving the building and walking slowly to his car. He got in and started driving, not really knowing where he was going - and not really caring. He didn't want to get home just yet - the empty apartment, the messages from his sisters and parents - he just didn't have the strength for it all right now.
He drove for about half an hour and then stopped, sitting in the car for a few minutes in silence - he suddenly noticed the neighborhood looked familiar and then realized that he was standing outside her apartment.
He could see the light was still on.
*
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling
*
After her father finally passed out in her bedroom she took the cordless phone and stepped out to the porch, dialing John's number.
"Calleigh!" He breathed hard as soon as he heard her voice "What happened? I was worried sick about you!"
"Nothing John!" She lied "I just wasn't feeling too well and I went home to get some sleep"
"You sound funny Call', like you've been crying or something." he said quietly
"I'm fine John, really! I told you I think I'm coming down with something"
"You want me to come over and take care of you?"
"NO!" her answer came to quickly and too adamantly, she could almost see him recoil on the other end of the line "Really, there's no need" she took on a softer tone "I'm just going to go and sleep. I'll see you tomorrow John"
She hung up the phone quickly, before he had time to respond. She didn't even know why she was lying but for some reason she just couldn't bring herself to tell him about her father's alcoholism. She knew he would understand, but she also knew he would feel a need to take care of it for her - or at least to try. He would want her to deal with it, he would give her advises on how to do it - to force her father to go to rehab, to stop going out and picking him up when he was drunk - all those things that she knew deep down she had to do, all those things she couldn't help but doing.
She knew that her behavior, her silence, was only making it worst. It was telling her father that there will always be someone to catch him, someone to clean up his mess. Every shrink she ever went to told her that she had to let him hit rock bottom - to allow him to freefall.
But she couldn't.
*
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
*
She placed her head between her hands and sighed deeply - God! she needed someone to talk to right now, someone who wouldn't say anything, who wouldn't have any advise to give, someone who would just sit there and listen.
Again she thought about calling John and coming clean, but her stomach started flip-flopping just at the thought of it so she pushed the idea out of her mind. The doorbell rang and she stretched as she walked over to the door - wondering who it could be at this hour.
She suddenly thought that it must be John, that he came after all, to yell at her for being so rude or something - she made the last few steps to the door a lot slower and opened it slightly.
In the doorway, Erik stood, looking at his feet and at the door and at her welcome mat - pretty much anywhere but at her.
*
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
*
"Erik, what are you doing here?" the surprise in her voice was evident, but under it Erik could feel something else - was it relief? Or was he just starting to hear what he wanted to hear?
"I drove by and saw your light on, I thought I'd come up to check on you" he said sheepishly and she had he urge to just hug him right then and there.
"You drove by?" She couldn't help but smile "Erik, your house is clear across town!"
"I took a detour!?" He said his tone a mixture of humor and hope - hope that she wouldn't press the subject any further. When she chuckled he continued "Seriously Call', you left kind of in a hurry today. Is everything ok?"
*
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
*