Well - here is the next part, the truth is I really don't know where I'm going with this story or how it's going to end I just listen to the songs you see here while I write and just write what ever comes up... so bear with me here - hopefully we're all going to figure out where this is going soon enough.
The song this time is "You do what you have to do" by Sarah Mclachlan
*
What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love
*
She never remembered being more humiliated in her whole life. Walking down those corridors, looking t the faces of people she worked with every day, to the cell where her father was held with all the other drunks that had been picked up that night.
"Sweetie! I knew you'd come get me" he greeted happily as he saw her, obviously still intoxicated "I swear to you honey, this isn't the way it looks!"
"It never is daddy" she sighed, mumbling under her breath.
She paid the fine and got him out.
She wasn't surprised to find that John was not there when she got out.
*
and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do ...
*
She couldn't take it anymore - his cheerful talking, his jokes, the way he kept asking her if she had anything stronger to drink...
She waited until he passed out and snuck out of the apartment, making sure to lock the door behind her.
Getting into her car she drove off, she drove in a daze, hardly even realizing where she was going until she got there.
Without thinking, partly because she knew that if she were to think about it she wouldn't do it, she got out and walked up to the house, knocking softly on the door.
"Calleigh?" he was in a pair of sweatpants and a white sleeveless shirt. His hair was tossed - looking like he just got out of bed. "What are you doing here?"
"John...."
*
and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
*
She didn't say much after that, she didn't know what to say. He showed her in and made some coffee, all the while an uncomfortable silence between them. When he sat down beside her on the couch, she still didn't know what to say.
The truth was - she didn't really feel like talking.
*
every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
*
She leaned in and kissed him. For a moment he surrendered to her, kissing her back, running his hands over her body... but a moment later he placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away, getting up from the couch angrily.
"Is this what you came her for Calleigh? A little roll in the hay and everything will be alright?" he hissed at her angrily.
"No..." she said weakly "John, that's not..."
"You can't keep doing this Calleigh, you can't shut me out and then come here and...why did you come here Calleigh?"
"I wanted to be with you" she couldn't think of anything better to say, even though she knew this was a lousy excuse for her visit
"Be with me?" he let out an evil chuckle "How can you be with me Calleigh? You were never WITH me! you can't it all to be on your terms, you want me in your bed but not in your life..."
"I want you in my life John" she didn't notice that tears were starting to stream down her face
"You didn't come here to let me into your life Call, you came here so I can make you forget about everything else for a few minutes while we fuck!" his choice of words hit her like a sting "You think I'm stupid? You think I don't know what's going on? You want me to just take you to the bedroom right now? Make all your problems go away?" he said bitterly "Let's go! Why not? Is that what you want from me?"
Without another word she grabbed her keys and ran to the door, she wrenched it open but he grabbed her arm, slamming the door shut with his other and pinning her against the door "Don't do this Calleigh, don't run out of here. Talk to me, let me in!"
His tone was pleading, his hands were cupping her face, forcing her to look straight into his eyes.
She closed her eyes and inhaled, savoring his scent, then wrenched herself free from his grasp and forced the door open - running into the dark night.
*
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
*
The cool air hit her when she was outside. The tears made her vision blurry but she could still see John's figure in the doorway. She wished she could have gone back, back into the house and to him.
Instead she walked back to her car and drove off again
*
but I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
*
She was driving again, again in a daze, again not knowing where she was headed until she got there. She walked out of the car and knocked on the door. Waiting for it to be opened.
He was in his boxers and T-shirt when he opened the door. One look at her and he simply cleared the way for her to enter, leading her to the couch.
"Erik..." she tried to explain but he hushed her.
He pushed her down so she was lying on the couch and then squeezed in and laid next to her, placing his arms around her and pulling a blanket over them both.
*
a glowing ember
burning hot burning slow
deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you
*
He knew she wasn't asleep, but she was keeping silent and he couldn't bring himself to ask her what had happened. He knew the back story - he could make out the details with out her help.
He didn't know why she came to him, or what made her cry this time. But his presence seemed to be helping, and her sobs subsided after a while, when he made a move to leave, thinking she might want to be left alone - she grabbed his arms and looked at him pleadingly.
He laid back and pulled her even tighter into his arms, staying with her for as long as she would need.
*
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
*
Erik's arms around her gave her comfort. Her crave for human contact was somehow satisfied by the feel of his body beside her on the couch.
*
and I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
*
John was lying awake in his bed, the vision of her face right before she ran out haunting him and driving away the sleep...
*
I don't know how to let you go
*
Erik listened to Calleigh's breathing, waiting for them to become even, waiting for her to fall asleep...
*
I don't know how to let you go
*
Calleigh's mind raced from her father to John, to Erik... she wasn't going to sleep tonight.
The song this time is "You do what you have to do" by Sarah Mclachlan
*
What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love
*
She never remembered being more humiliated in her whole life. Walking down those corridors, looking t the faces of people she worked with every day, to the cell where her father was held with all the other drunks that had been picked up that night.
"Sweetie! I knew you'd come get me" he greeted happily as he saw her, obviously still intoxicated "I swear to you honey, this isn't the way it looks!"
"It never is daddy" she sighed, mumbling under her breath.
She paid the fine and got him out.
She wasn't surprised to find that John was not there when she got out.
*
and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do ...
*
She couldn't take it anymore - his cheerful talking, his jokes, the way he kept asking her if she had anything stronger to drink...
She waited until he passed out and snuck out of the apartment, making sure to lock the door behind her.
Getting into her car she drove off, she drove in a daze, hardly even realizing where she was going until she got there.
Without thinking, partly because she knew that if she were to think about it she wouldn't do it, she got out and walked up to the house, knocking softly on the door.
"Calleigh?" he was in a pair of sweatpants and a white sleeveless shirt. His hair was tossed - looking like he just got out of bed. "What are you doing here?"
"John...."
*
and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
*
She didn't say much after that, she didn't know what to say. He showed her in and made some coffee, all the while an uncomfortable silence between them. When he sat down beside her on the couch, she still didn't know what to say.
The truth was - she didn't really feel like talking.
*
every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
*
She leaned in and kissed him. For a moment he surrendered to her, kissing her back, running his hands over her body... but a moment later he placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away, getting up from the couch angrily.
"Is this what you came her for Calleigh? A little roll in the hay and everything will be alright?" he hissed at her angrily.
"No..." she said weakly "John, that's not..."
"You can't keep doing this Calleigh, you can't shut me out and then come here and...why did you come here Calleigh?"
"I wanted to be with you" she couldn't think of anything better to say, even though she knew this was a lousy excuse for her visit
"Be with me?" he let out an evil chuckle "How can you be with me Calleigh? You were never WITH me! you can't it all to be on your terms, you want me in your bed but not in your life..."
"I want you in my life John" she didn't notice that tears were starting to stream down her face
"You didn't come here to let me into your life Call, you came here so I can make you forget about everything else for a few minutes while we fuck!" his choice of words hit her like a sting "You think I'm stupid? You think I don't know what's going on? You want me to just take you to the bedroom right now? Make all your problems go away?" he said bitterly "Let's go! Why not? Is that what you want from me?"
Without another word she grabbed her keys and ran to the door, she wrenched it open but he grabbed her arm, slamming the door shut with his other and pinning her against the door "Don't do this Calleigh, don't run out of here. Talk to me, let me in!"
His tone was pleading, his hands were cupping her face, forcing her to look straight into his eyes.
She closed her eyes and inhaled, savoring his scent, then wrenched herself free from his grasp and forced the door open - running into the dark night.
*
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
*
The cool air hit her when she was outside. The tears made her vision blurry but she could still see John's figure in the doorway. She wished she could have gone back, back into the house and to him.
Instead she walked back to her car and drove off again
*
but I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
*
She was driving again, again in a daze, again not knowing where she was headed until she got there. She walked out of the car and knocked on the door. Waiting for it to be opened.
He was in his boxers and T-shirt when he opened the door. One look at her and he simply cleared the way for her to enter, leading her to the couch.
"Erik..." she tried to explain but he hushed her.
He pushed her down so she was lying on the couch and then squeezed in and laid next to her, placing his arms around her and pulling a blanket over them both.
*
a glowing ember
burning hot burning slow
deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you
*
He knew she wasn't asleep, but she was keeping silent and he couldn't bring himself to ask her what had happened. He knew the back story - he could make out the details with out her help.
He didn't know why she came to him, or what made her cry this time. But his presence seemed to be helping, and her sobs subsided after a while, when he made a move to leave, thinking she might want to be left alone - she grabbed his arms and looked at him pleadingly.
He laid back and pulled her even tighter into his arms, staying with her for as long as she would need.
*
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
*
Erik's arms around her gave her comfort. Her crave for human contact was somehow satisfied by the feel of his body beside her on the couch.
*
and I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
*
John was lying awake in his bed, the vision of her face right before she ran out haunting him and driving away the sleep...
*
I don't know how to let you go
*
Erik listened to Calleigh's breathing, waiting for them to become even, waiting for her to fall asleep...
*
I don't know how to let you go
*
Calleigh's mind raced from her father to John, to Erik... she wasn't going to sleep tonight.