DisclaimerThe Power Rangers and everything that has to do with them are not mine.
Author's Notes – Right so I'm posting it on my birthday, my birthdays suck so thought I'd make a character suffer for it. It's actually only Tommy because he's using his dagger. I suppose it could have been Trini since she technically has daggers too, but meh.
Summary – Rather depressing story about life and death.
-o-
Mirror, Mirror
Tommy
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Staring into the mirror I try to picture what I want, try to see who I want to be and what I could be if given the chance. Still though, no matter how hard I try I only see me. Maybe that's because that's all there is. Placing a hand against the cool glass I shiver slightly as a chill runs through me. I can't handle this anymore. I can't do what I do and live as I live and get nothing, become nothing from it all.
I'll be twenty today. Looking at the clock on my dresser I absently note that it's twenty minutes from midnight. In just twenty minutes I'll be a whole year older and wiser and emptier. Every year that goes by I notice I get just a bit more hallow and fake, more vacant and alone inside.
Turning away from the exhausted reflection, I crawl slowly to my feet, my legs protesting after remaining on the carpeted floor for so many hours without movement.
-o-
'She's back on it again
Even though she knows it ain't right
She can't even call up her friends
And say "help me save my life"
She's so ashamed of herself that she's come full circle
Nobody understands what it's like to be this kid
So she disappeared, and she wasn't clear,
And she didn't say were she was going'
-o-
Moving slowly, almost weakly, I relocate to my bed. Laying my chilled body on the sheets I try to focus on a more pleasant matter than the fact that I'm about to be twenty, still living at home, and yet so completely alone. I wish things were different. I just want something to go right, something good to happen. I wish I'd wake up in the morning and suddenly everything would be different, everyone around me could be happy and loving, that everyone could just get along and accept people for who they are instead of what they look like or who they love. I wish I didn't have to wake up in the morning.
Sliding a hand under my pillow to try and make myself a bit more comfortable, a frown crosses my face as my fingers graze something cold and sharp. Taking hold of the object and bringing my hand out to inspect my find, I suddenly recall what it is before my eyes even rest upon it. My dagger.
I'd put it there with my coin this morning. I don't really remember why.
-o-
'Save my life, won't you help me
Save my life, wont you help me
Save my life, can't you hear me
Save my life, won't you help me'
-o-
Sitting up and leaning over to my night table to set the weapon down, I suddenly can't seem to let it go. Eyes fixated on the smooth jet-black handle and even more so on the gleaming silver of the blade, I without real consideration run a finger across cutting edge. When I feel nothing but the cool metal I move to lay down once more.
Still toying with the object, I suddenly stop, my attention finally drawn from the knife by the droplets of red landing on the pillow. Looking back to my hand, I'm amazed and enchanted to see the small stream of red liquid now oozing down my finger and hand, landing in droplets on my bed and pillow.
Almost captivated by the entire matter, I gently place a fresh finger to the very tip of my new found wonder. Slowly and ever so delicately, I apply pressure and drag the steel down until it reaches the band of my clad ring. Once more it takes a few moments, but when the red begins to seep from the wound, painting my finger and palm with the essence of my life, it's truly the most incredible thing I've ever seen.
-o-
'He had the girl of his dreams
And some success
And he was so happy, and looking well
It was this one dark night that he slipped
And then the next morning he felt like total shit
So he's hangen out,
And he's with no crowd
And he's travlin' where the wind is blowing'
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No, not seen, felt. It's been so long since I've felt anything and this, this is almost like feeling again. Feeling something besides the emptiness, the god-awful pain and hurt. This is new and fresh and proof I'm still alive.
Climbing off the bed and barely even noticing as the blood begins to spill from my wounds onto the floor, I make my way back to the mirror. Sitting back down I look for any signs of renewed life, of some kind of awakening in my counterpart. When again I get nothing but the dull lifeless eyes and now blood streaked hand, I feel my disappointment raising.
My high from only a moment ago is quickly fading and god I don't want to lose it. I don't want to be left back here, alone, and haunted by my own emptiness.
-o-
'Save my life, won't you help me
Save my life, wont you help me
Save my life, can't you hear me
Save my life, won't you help me'
-o-
Looking back at the dagger still clutched in my hand, I smile as I am struck with the solution to my problem. If I want that feeling back, that new sensation that work so well a moment ago to chase away the pain, then all I have to do is make it happen. Raising the blade once more to my hand, barely containing my anticipation and near eagerness for the release, I suddenly stop as an entirely new thought strikes.
Lowing the steel from my thumb, I place it over my wrist this time. A small cut chases the ache away for a short time, but a larger incision, perhaps that would keep it away for a long time, or maybe, dare I hope, forever.
As the metal sinks into my willing flesh I close my eyes and savor it. Just feeling the life flow from my body.
-o-
'Save my life, won't you help me
Save my life, wont you help me
Save my life, can't you hear me
Save my life, won't you help me'
-o-
After a moment, or perhaps a lifetime, I dare to pry my now heavy eyes open. So tired. As I try to focus again on my reflection I slide limply to lay on the floor, letting my fingers play across my mirrored form once more. Poor thing looks so tired, all red too.
Before my eyes close, I glance at the clock's refection behind my mirror companion. Midnight. Letting a smile play across my lips I finally allow sleep to come and claim me. How very fitting, I'd complete my life on the very same day I began it…
The End