Title: My Immortal
Author: Batdz Angel (\0/)
E-mail: Chelita777@aol.com
Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville or any of its characters. 'Cause you know, if I did, Lana would've gotten slapped around a lot by Chloe for being so annoying and Clark would've gotten a clue by now. Plus, Lex would be super-kick-ass and Pete would get more than two lines.
Rating: R for very, very adult language and mentions of alcohol and drunk driving.
Spoilers: First and Second Season.
Summary: Chloe's drunk, Lana and Jonathan are finally told off, and Clark finally comes home.
Author's Note: Well, I'm back! I had so much happening in my personal life, with getting a new computer and having to install a floppy drive myself. It's been while and this thing has been sitting in my Smallville fanfiction notebook for months now! It's the first of a series of songfics, dealing with Clark and Chloe. I hope you enjoy this and don't forget to review!
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She stared up at the ceiling blankly, her hazel-green eyes glittering with unshed tears. Lifting a hand to her mouth, she bit back a sob as she remembered the way his hand had gripped her upper arm so tightly, leaving a bruise that she knew would heal but...
It didn't matter.
He had stolen everything from her.
She stumbled to her feet, the taste of Jack Daniel's thick on her breath. Pausing in the bathroom, she arched an eyebrow at the sight of Lana Lang sitting on the toilet, miserable, and proceeded to splash cold water on her face (not without slamming her elbow into the doorframe, but pain was a welcome feeling at the moment).
Lana's head shot up, her iridescent eyes red-rimmed and blood-shot from crying. She swallowed and said thickly, "Chloe...?"
Chloe Sullivan trained a pair of bleary hazel-green eyes on her and said, voice slurred, "If this is about Clark 'I'll just hurt my friends and run away because I'm a bastard' Kent, then I don't want to hear it."
I'm so tired of being here-
Suppressed by all of my childhood fears...
"Chloe?" Lana whispered shocked. "Are you drunk?"
Chloe let out a whooping laugh as she turned, walking back to her room on unsteady feet. Lana followed after wincing at the sight of Chloe trip over her shoes and almost falling flat on her face. She paused at the doorway as Chloe caught herself and blinked down at the shoes with a scowl, kicking them away.
"Yes!" she chirped as she tumbled onto the bed. "Ow. Yes, I'm drunk Lana. I figured, when I've lost my best friend and the one man I've ever really loved, not to mention protected 'cause let's face it, Clark's good at the saving people thing but not at making sure that no one knows he's the one doing it, I should get drunk and drown my sorrows."
"Chloe," Lana whispered softly. "This isn't you..."
"Fuck off Lana," Chloe said with a swooping wave of her hand. "You don't even know me! I'm Chloe Sullivan, who up until a year ago, was the blonde girl who hung around Clark and Pete. I ran the Torch and that's all you knew. I mean, you know how when you look at someone and you know that they're just as empty and shallow as they look? I was so on the mark when it came to you Lang."
Lana felt sick and she knew if she wasn't careful, she'd wind up sobbing all over again. "Chloe," she managed. "Look, you're drunk okay? I know you don't mean what you're saying..."
"Wrong!" Chloe announced as she got to her feet, teetering precariously. "I'm drunk Lana not stupid. There's a big difference!"
And if you have to leave-
I wish that you would just leave...
Chloe pointed at Lana with an unsteady hand and said, "I mean, why should I hold back now? Clark's not here to defend you anymore, is he? You and he went behind my back and then you couldn't even tell me to my face that the two of you were together."
"Chloe, Clark offered-"
"To tell me, yadda, yadda, yadda!!" Chloe rolled her eyes. "Whatever! Lana never dirties her own hands, does she? I mean, being the Town Princess means that she never has to take responsibility for her own actions but if everyone else can be hurt in the process so her pure heart won't be hurt what the hell?! It'll save Lana's goddamn perfect ass!"
Lana's knees finally gave out and she sank to the floor, sobbing softly as Chloe picked up her purse. The blonde reporter let out a snort and said, "Please!! Let me tell you this Lana Lang: if wasn't for the fact that I had pulled the 'just friends' card with Clark, he'd be with me. Not you, but me. Don't forget that I'm his best friend. I always have been and I always plan on being."
Chloe staggered out the door, tripping over the carpet, and letting out a loud, "Whoopsie!" before she stumbled downstairs. Walking outside to her car, she stared at the door and shrugged, sliding behind the wheel. She put the key into the ignition and took off, her little red car's wheels squealing as the front door opened, Lana running out, screaming her name.
Because your presence still lingers here-
And it won't leave me alone...
Chloe screeched to a stop at the Kent Farm, pausing long to enough to grab her purse. She unlocked the car door and stumbled up to the farm, pausing long enough to salute the Kent house, where some lights were on. She opened the farm doors and strolled inside, calling, "Clark!!! Are you back yet?"
No answer.
Chloe shrugged and made her way up the stairs, teetering precariously as her alcohol-induced state struck her. She grunted and yanked herself onto the top step, pausing long enough to look around the loft. A sneer lifted her features and she stared at Clark's telescope for a moment before kicking the base.
It tipped forward and Chloe watched dispassionately as it fell out the window. She peered over the edge and smiled at the sight of it broken. "Now," she said coldly to the loft. "We'll see how he can look into Lana's bedroom..."
"Chloe?"
Jonathan Kent's voice startled the blonde girl and she turned, stumbling to her left slightly before catching herself. Grinning at the man, she said, "Hey Mr. Kent! How's it feel being the bastard who ran off his own kid, huh?"
Shock filtered on Jonathan's face and he said, "Chloe-!"
"I mean," Chloe continued as she saw Lana appear behind Jonathan, her expression filled with worry. "You're the one who told him it's his fault the baby's gone right? That's what happened? It took me a while to figure out why Clark would leave his mom so soon after losing the baby but I finally got it!"
Chloe pointed at Jonathan, a broad, drunken smile on her face. "You did what you always do," she said. "Make Clark suppress his own emotions to 'protect' him."
"Chloe are you drunk?" Jonathan demanded appalled.
Chloe snickered. "Is everyone in this town that smart?" she queried as she sat on the sofa. "Or are you and Lana over there the only ones? Yeah. I'm drunk."
These wounds won't seem to heal-
This pain is just too real-
There's just too much that-
Time cannot erase...
Chloe grinned. "But I'm going to say this anyway," she said leveling her gaze at Jonathan. "You don't trust your son to make his own decisions. Therefore, you make him think it's a bad idea to tell anyone about his abilities. Therefore, he manages to ostracize himself so badly that he can't even have a normal relationship 'cause he's been taught to be careful."
She got to her feet, her drunken swaying gone and said, "How much more are you going to make him sacrifice Mr. Kent? He's given up his childhood and pretty much most of his teenage years too..."
Chloe glanced up at the ceiling, adding, "Then, you specifically tell him not to tell me 'cause I'm Chloe Sullivan, Mistress of the Weird. Of course, the fact I've known your son since I first moved here doesn't count does it? The fact that I've edited many, many police reports via the Internet and some hacking to not evensuggest that Clark was there doesn't matter does it?"
"Chloe-" Jonathan said realizing that Lana was there and staring at her with shock. "Chloe, please."
"Don't fucking be nice to me," Chloe snarled, her eyes narrowed and looking dangerously angry. "You don't trust me. Clark doesn't trust me. Lionel Luthor offered me my dreams to spy on him. But I didn't. I won't. I love Clark too much."
With that said, she walked past the two and down the stairs, straight towards her car.
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears-
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears-
And I've held your hand through all of these years...
"Chloe!" Lana ran after her, leaving Jonathan shell-shocked in the barn. "Chloe, where are you going?"
Chloe trained a pair of dark eyes on her.
"Home. I'll most likely have a large hangover in the morning," the petite blonde said matter-of-factly. "But at least I'll know that I finally told the two people who's approval and love matter the most to Clark were brought off their high horses."
She slid into the driver's seat, paused, look up at Lana, and said, "And by the way. Pink is so not a good color on you. It makes you look pudgy."
With a rev of the engine, Chloe was gone.
But you still have-
All of me...
The next morning brought painful wakening for Chloe. She made herself a cup of very strong, very black coffee and holed up in her room, ignoring the timid knocks that Lana gave every now and then. After the sixteenth time in thirty minutes, Chloe crossed to the door, shoved the empty mug in Lana's hand, and said, "I thought I made myself clear last night. I do not want to speak with you or have anything to do with you Lang. Get out of my face."
She slammed the door in Lana's face and locked it, along with her bathroom door, the key safely in her pocket. Grabbing her favorite knee-length green jacket, Chloe climbed out her bedroom window and left the house. She drove for a few minutes and paused as she came upon the high school.
Staring at the tall building, Chloe closed her eyes...
And remembered.
You used to captivate me-
With your resonating light...
It had been two months.
Two months.
Chloe knew that she should have said something, anything to the Kent's or Pete. But she had been so stunned to find Clark in Metropolis that she hadn't been able to think clearly...
Sighing, she looked over at her favorite photograph, a sad smile appearing on her features. The picture was of her and Clark, smiling up at each other, wearing their best. Reaching out with one hand, she picked it up and traced Clark's face.
Chloe opened her desk drawer and dropped the picture inside. Shutting it, she whispered fiercely, "Damn you Clark..."
But now I'm bound
By the life you left behind...
Chloe made her way through the crowd at the Talon, ignoring the longing looks Clark and Lana were giving each other. He had been home for a month now and yet hadn't spoken a single word to her. Not a thank you or an apology for how he'd treated her...
Anger bubbled inside but Chloe merely ordered her coffee with a two shots of espresso and waited impatiently, her arms crossed over her chest and foot tapping. She stiffened as she heard Lana's voice behind her.
"Hey Chloe."
Turning, Chloe kept her face blank as she stared at her estranged roommate. "Lana," she said icily, ignoring the way Clark's face reflected surprise from where he stood behind Lana. "What do you want?"
Lana winced slightly and said, "Um...Clark and I were wondering if you wanted to go on a picnic with us and Pete tomorrow? A kind of welcome home for Clark...?"
Chloe picked up her drink and sipped it quietly.
Your face haunts-
My once pleasant dreams...
"I'm busy tomorrow," she said as she walked past Lana, bumping into her and side stepping Clark. "And I really don't feel like being where I'm not wanted."
Immediately, a strong hand grabbed her shoulder and Chloe was spun around, Clark's face staring into hers. He frowned and said quietly, "Why wouldn't we want you there?"
"Gee, I don't know Clark," she hissed. "Maybe because you haven't spoken to me in a month? Maybe because you conveniently forgot to apologize for hurting me? And I don't just mean emotionally either. I've got a bruise on my arm that still hasn't healed and it's from you."
Horror flickered in Clark's eyes and he looked down at her arms, as if he could see through her coat. Stepping away from him, Chloe said, "I'm tired of being used for whenever Lana's not around or you need information or you'rebored. I won't do it again."
Turning, she left the Talon and got into her car, driving towards the school. And only when she was sitting in the empty parking lot did she allow herself to cry.
Your voice it chased away-
All the sanity in me...
Chloe looked up as Clark entered the Torch office. Rolling her eyes, she briskly asked, "What do you want?"as she opened her filing cabinet, skimming the names with a practiced eye.
Clark shifted and said hesitantly, "Chloe. I need a favor..."
The drawer slammed shut and Chloe spun to face him, anger written on her features.
"You need a favor?" she repeated disbelievingly. "I knew you were dense Clark but I didn't think that you were stupid. Get out."
"Chloe, please," Clark pleaded searching her eyes. "I swear, I won't bother you again if you do this one thing for me."
These wounds won't seem to heal-
This pain is just too real-
There's just too much that-
Time cannot erase...
"You're right," Chloe replied as she felt tears of anger and frustration well up in her eyes. "You won't bother me. Get the hell out Kent and stay out or I swear I will break the nearest object over your head." She spun and opened the drawer roughly, searching the files with angry fingers. As the door clicked shut behind her, Chloe closed her eyes and pressed her hand against her temple, a strangled sob coming from her throat.
Unbeknownst to her, Clark stood outside the door and watched as his friend sank to the ground and sobbed loudly. Swallowing thickly, he turned and walked down the hall, head bent as he fought back his own tears of guilt.
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears-
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears-
And I've held your hand through all of these years...
Chloe looked up as Martha Kent's soft voice said her name. Smiling sadly at the older woman, she said, "Hi Mrs. Kent..."
"Chloe," Martha smiled back and sat down, her shopping bags neatly placed on the floor. "How are you honey? We haven't seen you at the farm in a long time..."
"I've been really busy."
"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that," Martha said softly. She sighed and added, "And I'll get right to the chase. I know that Clark hurt you..."
Immediately, Chloe's lips pressed into a thin line and her shoulders hunched up slightly as she said, "I don't want to talk about Clark..." her voice shaking slightly.
"I know," Martha tilted her head to the side, eyes filled with sadness, and said, "But I think you need too."
But you still have-
All of me...
Chloe closed her eyes as she sat on the porch of her house, knees curled underneath her chin. Scanning the horizon, she smiled as she saw the brief outline of Metropolis...
Hearing a familiar car engine, she watched silently as the Kent truck pulled up to a stop. Seeing Lana in the passenger seat, Chloe merely picked up her portable CD player and turned up the volume. Wrapping the blanket tighter around her shoulders, she ignored Clark and Lana as they paused at the top of the stairs. Closing her eyes, she listened to the music and opened her eyes to see the night sky...
An honest smile crossed her features and she pulled off her headphones, placing her CD player on the bench. Wrapping the blanket around her shoulders, Chloe walked over to the stairs and stared up at the stars, her blonde hair moving slightly as she hummed softly to herself.
Clark opened the front door and paused as he saw Chloe standing a few feet in front of him. She was smiling, he realized with pang of guilt, her face bathed in the pale light of the moon. He closed the door behind him and saw her shoulders stiffen slightly. Regret filled him and he said, "I'm sorry."
She said nothing.
"I'm sorry I hurt you," he continued feeling tears fill his eyes. "I'm sorry that I caused you pain Chloe. I'm sorry that I couldn't trust you or confide in you..."
I've tried so hard-
To tell myself you're gone...
"I'm sorry that you've cried because of me. I'm so sorry that I didn't keep my promise to you at the dance and that I didn't help you when you needed help..."
Chloe stared up at the stars, quiet tears sliding down her cheeks.
'I'm your dream girl, masquerading as your best friend...'
Her words echoed in her mind as Clark continued to ramble on before he finally finished. He walked past her and Chloe ached to reach out to him but found herself frozen in her spot. As Clark's truck pulled away, she whispered, "I'm sorry too Clark..."
And though you're still with me-
I've been alone all along...
The next morning, Chloe found a single white rose on her windowsill. She brought it to her nose and inhaled the sweet fragrance as a sigh slipped past her lips. Sinking to the floor of her bedroom, she buried her head into her knees as she remembered the two months in Metropolis when she had been in the arms of the boy she loved and he hadn't looked at anyone else...
The white rose fell from her fingers and landed silently on the floor
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears-
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears-
And I've held your hand for all of these years...
Clark stood outside the Sullivan home, eyes focused on the blonde reporter's bedroom. He watched as she buried her head into her knees and closed his eyes, reminiscing about the beautiful blonde girl who had kissed him in his loft for the first time and become his best friend...
He opened his eyes and said softly, "I love you Chloe..." before turning and speeding home. The tears he shed merely disappeared at the speed he ran and he stopped in his loft, sinking to his knees as he cried.
But you still have-
All of me...
~ FINIS ~