Sarah loves Luke right, and me, well do I have to explain, ok yes I do, FRODO! Explained enough for ya!  So we all live in a massive house. Ok so let's get on with our story (and please do note most of this will be about me and Frodo, and YES I will be testing you afterwards)

*Door bell rings* Luke goes to the door and gives the pizza guy (who is quite fine, well that's what he said anyway) ten quid for the minging pizza that had mushrooms on. So while (Mel) and the rest of the gang sit eating pizza, Luke is flirting with the pizza guy (who, by the way, is called Kirk apparently) and Dominic and Billy are holding Sarah back because they not want to witness the murder of Luke (who would be the hunk in Hollyoaks after that). Legolas is surfing down the stairs again! Wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts and one yellow sock, yes we have warned him about his bad fashion sense but obviously he wouldn't be the same if he didn't dress like a weirdo, you've got to love him though (don't you Sarah)

"Oh yes" shouts Saz from the other side of the room "but you know I wish he would lose the boxers, oh my god I can't believe I just blurted that out, me and my dirty mouth" ………………. Meanwhile Luke who had now got the pizza guys phone number (he reckons its not for him, I mean why didn't he just sit on his lap and start stroking his face for god sake) walks back into the living room fondling with the piece of paper with the number on and looking rather pleased with himself

"Ok if that's not weird I don't know what is," says Mel to Frodo who by this time was trying to conceal his hysterical laughter, he couldn't believe what had just happened.

"Luke get that sexy ass of yours here right now" shouts Saz "I want a word with you"

"Ok babe I will just be one minute" Luke replies while slipping the paper into his pocket and downing his third beer "what's up?"

"What's up you big fool" interrupts Mel "What was that, I hate to think what is in your bedroom, I mean what's next?"

"Hey, do you really want to know?" Luke says looking straight at Mel and sitting down on the couch.

"I do, I do" shouts Tom jumping up and down "Oh ass I just burnt my brownies"

"You have got a dirty mouth," shouts Mel, disgusted with what he just said.

"When I said brownies, I was talking about biscuits. How can that sound dirty?" said Tom "Women these days, I mean you don't think it is disgusting Legolas surfing down the stairs, near enough starkers, but when I mention brownies you take it the wrong way"

"Yeah well he has got nice legs, hairy but nice" said Mel making eyes at Legolas's legs, although now he was in a pile at the bottom of the stairs, nursing his sore head.

"Hey what about me, I have hairy legs too" shouts Frodo in Mel's ear "and my chin, you said you liked my chin"

"Oh be quiet you silly little boy," says Ewan who really thinks that he sounds like a broken record.

"Hey I am all man, you can look if you don't believe me" shouts Frodo as he stands up as if to start a fight. "Look out ladies I am coming to get ya!" he said jokingly.

"Oh really!" says Mel giving Frodo a dirty look and walking off into the kitchen "You want other women, then go!"

"No action for you tonight mate" shouts Legolas still in a pile at the bottom of the stairs but slowly moving his aching body towards the couch.

*Door bell rings again* "I'll get it" Luke screams with excitement

"Oh no you won't, your staying here with me" said Saz

"Get in there," shouts Legolas to Saz "can I join in?" he continues

"I'll get it," shouts Tom from the kitchen "if it is that bloody pizza guy again I swear, I will take the pizza box and shove it down his throat"

Tom walks to the door with a spatula in one hand and a whisk in the other (he likes cooking cant you tell) he opens the door to find Mel's best friend Sean looking disgusted at the unsightly sight behind him, Wood tonguing Rebecca "I hope you guys have a cupboard to put these two in, their driving me mad, I mean no wonder their never hungry when we go out"

"You haven't seen what Luke was doing earlier," said Tom "It was so grosse, Saz wasn't too pleased about it lets just say that, they seem to be ok now though"

"Ok I won't ask then, I really don't want to know thanks, I have had enough disgusting antics already tonight" said Sean not daring to turn around for fear of what he might see.

Mel comes stomping out of the kitchen, clutching a magazine and plonks her self in the chair next to the couch

"Mel are you talking to me, I didn't mean it when I said that before" said Frodo rubbing Mel's arm, he looked sincere as he did this but Mel was not having it "Mel I'm sorry baby please forgive me"

"If you didn't mean it why did you say it in the first place then" she asked him still not making eye contact.

"You know what I am like and besides you said you liked his legs!" he said pointing at Legolas.

"I was joking for god sake, don't you notice these things?" said Mel still looking at her magazine

"I didn't know you were joking, please, I am so sorry!!" he answered, "You know you're the only one for me, and I mean that" he continued putting his other arm around Mel's shoulders.

"Really?" Mel asked Frodo putting down the magazine and looking at him in a loving way.

"Yeah really!" he said kissing her forehead "you know when I say stuff like that I mean it"

"Aww, that is so sweet" she cooed as she wrapped her arms around his chest. Frodo lifted her leg and placed it on his lap and he kissed once again on the head.

Sean came in closely followed by Wood and Rebecca who were no longer attached by the mouth, he took one look at Frodo kissing Mel and said "oh my god not you two as well I cant bare anymore kissing" he said sitting himself between the two "So what you guys been up to then?"

"Well Luke was chatting up the pizza guy, I wouldn't mind but he wasn't even nice" said Saz "he had a face like a robbers dog if you ask me"

"Makes you wonder about him doesn't it?" said Sean slumping down on the couch arm and giving a sigh of relief  "My day has been a nightmare, seriously. I was supposed to be meeting Wood down the pub at 2:00 and then he goes and brings his 'other half' along with him" "they have not took a breath since"

End of part one

Part two coming very shortly