Title: One Day
Rating: PG
Summary: Slash- Seth/Ryan Just an angst-ridden babble.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I'm severely bitter about that! lol
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Sometimes Ryan has dreams that Seth was the one shot at Holly's party. That he didn't make it there in time and watches as Seth lay bleeding and dying on pure white carpet, staining it in rivulets of deep gorgeous red.
Those nights he wakes with his eyes blurry and his skin cold with sweat. The air conditioner blasts against him, chilling him right down to the bone.
And even though he knows the images aren't real, one day Seth will be taken from him. Not from a bullet. Not dead. Nothing that eternal.
One day Summer or Anna or some other girl is going to wise up and see past his fascination with comic book characters and see inside where he is so much more than regenerative powers, laser beam eyes and mind control. He is the ultimate super hero and his power is a heart of gold. As lame and cheesy as that sounds, it's the truth, because Seth is the most generous, loving person he's ever met.
His memory is sharp and he has never forgotten one word Seth has ever said. Not one word. Whether it be a ten minute ramble of why Wolverine is so much better than Spiderman or asking him to pass the milk in the morning while he makes little screeching noises as he pretends to drown his Cheerios.
And even though he seems distant most of the time, he hangs on every syllable, every intonation,
every noise Seth utters.
Seth is beautiful in that way that people used to describe babies. Sweet. Soft. Innocent.
When Seth looks at Ryan his eyes are always huge, filled with wonderment and questions of a newly borne babe.
Ryan likes the way Seth's eyes sparkle. The way they light up with just a slight hint of green around the edges. A hodgepodge of knowledge and innocence and lust.
He stretches out, his limbs akimbo. Thoughts of Seth always make him a little unsettled, a little restless, a lot light-headed.
He doesn't hold onto him. Doesn't let Seth hug him or smother him with touches. He wishes he could be that way, but he can't let himself get that close. Not when he knows one day when he turns around seeking those arms, that comfort, he won't be there anymore.
So Ryan has horrible dreams of Seth dying and tortures himself with the images instead. When he wakes up, cold, sweaty and alone, he knows it's just a prelude to his future without Seth.
He resigns himself to feeling nothing, to showing no emotion and closes his eyes where he drifts off to sleep.
At least for now Seth is safe, tucked in his bed and not going anywhere. And if Ryan can pretend enough not to care, maybe one day he won't.
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end.