Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters you have seen before. They
are the property of Chris Carter and all that jazz. I do claim ownership to
a few characters, though.
CHAPTER 6
"Scully, we have a lot to catch up on," Mulder said solemnly. She nodded. "So . . ." He trailed off. He seemed highly uncomfortable and unsure of what to say to her, of what to ask. "What have you been up to for the past four years?" he finally got out.
"Well, a lot," Dana answered quietly.
"How were things with Patrick?" With his question and the look in his eyes, she knew that he had an idea, that he had the impression that things hadn't been right. He had always been able to read her like a book, and she could see that he still claimed that gift.
"Do you want it all? There's a lot to tell . . ."
"Whatever you . . . ummm . . . feel comfortable telling me. Whatever you want to say." He looked at her expectantly.
"Okay. After Emma was born, Patrick and I started to grow apart. He started drinking on the weekends and he barely acknowledged me. Then he started missing work, so I had to go back even before my maternity leave was up because he got fired. My mom spent more time with Emma that first year than either Patrick or I did. That killed me. I wanted to be there for my daughter, but I wasn't able to because of him. He took that first year from me. I began to really resent him for that. I think that's when things started to change. We had a big fight, the biggest one of our marriage at that point. I told him that I blamed him for the fact that I missed her first steps, her first words. Do you know that her first word was Grammy? Not mommy. I cried for two days solid when my mother told me that. Well, I told him I blamed him and that I wanted a divorce so that I could raise my child as I saw fit. I would have moved in with my mom or with Charlie or Bill or something so I could work less, have less bills to pay, more time with her. When I said that I would take her away from him, he broke down, said he wanted to change, he wanted us to be a family. He said that he didn't want to be a lousy father or husband anymore. He wanted to be there for us. So I gave him a second chance. He joined AA and then things . . . well, I was going to say they got back to normal, but I don't think anything about my relationship with Patrick was normal. If anything, the norm for us was the drinking, the lies, the cheating. But we appeared to be getting closer to what a family should be, at least on the surface. He got a new job, and he became really attentive to Emma and me. He was a model father and husband. Ha . . . what a load of bullshit."
She laughed cynically and stood up from the table. She started pacing before she opened up again.
"I got pregnant with Danny after Patrick had been sober for seven months. The whole time I was pregnant, he was really sweet to me. After Danny was born, he started working longer hours. He said it was so we would have enough money so that I wouldn't have to back to work for a long time, so that I wouldn't miss Danny's infancy like I'd missed Emma's. Then he started becoming obsessively protective of Danny. And he was less and less attentive to Emma with each business trip he went on. He would bring Danny home all kinds of gifts from the places he went, but nothing for Emma. When he was home, he would just sit and hold Danny for hours at a time and just stare at him. When he was asleep in his crib, Patrick would watch him. But he didn't give Emma the time of day. It was a really hard time in our relationship because I had to deal with Emma's disappointment every time he left and didn't kiss her goodbye. The while time he was gone, she would cry. And then when he got home, he didn't even acknowledge her. It destroyed her. She just didn't understand. Frankly, I didn't either. I would ask him, but he wouldn't talk to me. He just wanted to be with his son. He stopped sleeping in our bed when he was home. He slept on the floor of the nursery."
She took a deep, shaking breath.
"Then the business trips became more frequent. He was home less and less. When he was home, he would take Danny out for day trips. By that time he was a year old. I never saw Patrick. Emma began to get over his mistreatment of her. She just put up a hard shell. She pretended everything was okay. I would hear her at night, talking to her "Daddy." In his absence, she . . ."
Dana started crying.
"She made up a father figure for herself, because the man who was supposed to be her fucking father wasn't there for her."
She dropped down onto the porch swing and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Mulder walked over to the swing and sat down next to her, putting a hand on her back. She took a deep breath and steeled her resolve.
"One day while he was out of town, I got a call from his office. They said that when he had cleaned out his office, he had missed a picture frame. I guess it fell behind a filling cabinet or something. Well, I went in there, confused as too why Patrick had cleaned out his office. The guy who had taken over his office handed this frame to me and said that Patrick had left it when he quit. I didn't want to ask when he had quit or any questions or anything because, well, as his wife, I should have known this stuff. So I just say thank you and walk out. When I got to my car, I looked at the picture. I expected it to be this picture of him, Emma, and me right after her first birthday, because that's what had been in there when I gave him the frame. But it wasn't. It was him and some young blonde. And she was . . ."
She broke down again.
"She was holding my son. That broke everything I had left inside of me. I instantly knew where he had been all this time. With her. He only came home to see his son. And then he took him to her. I couldn't believe it. My anger just got worse and worse until he came home a week later. I flipped. I took my kids to my moms, and then I just screamed at him for hours. He didn't deny anything. I hated him so much at that point. But he didn't seem worried. He basically blackmailed me into staying with him. He knew that if I divorced him, I would get full custody of Danny with his past and the alcohol and everything. So he threatened me with some information that I had no idea he knew. I had to stay with him, or I would lose both kids. So from then on, he basically flaunted his affairs, and he didn't try to hide the drinking. He was using drugs too. For the next year, I was basically a single parent. I didn't let the kids think anything was wrong. They just thought he was on business a lot. But again, my kids saw my mom more than they saw me. I came to hate him more than I ever had before. A week before he died, I asked him for a divorce. I couldn't take it anymore. I hated him too much. But he refused. He didn't want to lose Danny. I don't really understand that. He didn't love his son enough to stay home and try to be a good father, but he somehow loved him too much to give him up and let the child have a good, normal life. But then he died."
She said that last part so matter of factly, so emotionlessly, it worried him.
"How did he die?" Mulder asked.
"Fire. He was with the blonde. Jessica something. Her sister came to tell me the next day. I never told anyone the truth about our marriage. Well, except my mother, and now you. Everyone else got the story that he was doing this woman's taxes when the house burst into flames. I truly liked his family. They were really nice people. I didn't think they should have to know how awful he really was. Now that I think about it though, they will have to know eventually. I guess I plan to tell the kids someday. When they're old enough to understand. I think it would be their right to know. I hope they don't hate me too much."
She stopped there.
"I can't believe I just rambled on for twenty five minutes. Thank you for listening. It felt so good to finally get the whole entire story out."
She wiped her eyes and he reached over and pulled her into his arms. A fresh wave of tears started and she buried her face in his shoulder. He rocked her against his body until the sobbing subsided. His shirt was wet by the time she pulled away. She looked up into his eyes and this time didn't look away. Something passed between them while their eyes were locked - a silent conversation that communicated more than hours of talking could have. Then Mulder broke the silence.
"I'm so sorry, Scully. You never deserved such a bastard. You should be with someone who treats you well, who loves you and will never leave you." He sounded said as he said it.
"But Mulder, I could never regret my time with Patrick. As much as I hate him, I wouldn't trade my children for the world. The only thing I regret was not getting out earlier. Maybe if I had, I wouldn't be so screwed up now."
"Did he ever hit you?"
"When he was home, he was abusive - mainly emotionally, but sometimes he turned to violence. But I'm stronger for it. He was weak from his addictions. He never hit me hard enough to make me run. I couldn't leave him. I couldn't lose my kids, not to him. God only knows how he would have treated Emma. But if he had laid even one finger on either of my children, I would have been out of there so fast."
She shuddered at the thought.
"Scully, you shouldn't have put up with it."
"You don't know. I would have lost my children. Hell, he might not have taken Emma. But I sure as hell would have lost Danny. And Emma, I don't even know what would have happened to her. I love them too much. I put up with his shit for them. They're my reason for living."
She was crying again, and he reached out for her.
"You're right, I'll never know. That is unless you tell me. Do you want to talk about what he knew?"
"I can't." Her voice was muffled by his shoulder.
"Alright Scully. You don't have to say anything you don't want to."
They sat like that for several moments. Then it was Scully's turn to ask the questions.
"Mulder, I want to know about you."
(A/N) Next time: Mulder's story. Hopefully it won't take too long. I am quite busy with classes and all kinds of other stuff that uses up my free time. The next chapter's already written, I just need to type it. I am also working on a Harry Potter story, so check that out. I don't know what it will be called.
CHAPTER 6
"Scully, we have a lot to catch up on," Mulder said solemnly. She nodded. "So . . ." He trailed off. He seemed highly uncomfortable and unsure of what to say to her, of what to ask. "What have you been up to for the past four years?" he finally got out.
"Well, a lot," Dana answered quietly.
"How were things with Patrick?" With his question and the look in his eyes, she knew that he had an idea, that he had the impression that things hadn't been right. He had always been able to read her like a book, and she could see that he still claimed that gift.
"Do you want it all? There's a lot to tell . . ."
"Whatever you . . . ummm . . . feel comfortable telling me. Whatever you want to say." He looked at her expectantly.
"Okay. After Emma was born, Patrick and I started to grow apart. He started drinking on the weekends and he barely acknowledged me. Then he started missing work, so I had to go back even before my maternity leave was up because he got fired. My mom spent more time with Emma that first year than either Patrick or I did. That killed me. I wanted to be there for my daughter, but I wasn't able to because of him. He took that first year from me. I began to really resent him for that. I think that's when things started to change. We had a big fight, the biggest one of our marriage at that point. I told him that I blamed him for the fact that I missed her first steps, her first words. Do you know that her first word was Grammy? Not mommy. I cried for two days solid when my mother told me that. Well, I told him I blamed him and that I wanted a divorce so that I could raise my child as I saw fit. I would have moved in with my mom or with Charlie or Bill or something so I could work less, have less bills to pay, more time with her. When I said that I would take her away from him, he broke down, said he wanted to change, he wanted us to be a family. He said that he didn't want to be a lousy father or husband anymore. He wanted to be there for us. So I gave him a second chance. He joined AA and then things . . . well, I was going to say they got back to normal, but I don't think anything about my relationship with Patrick was normal. If anything, the norm for us was the drinking, the lies, the cheating. But we appeared to be getting closer to what a family should be, at least on the surface. He got a new job, and he became really attentive to Emma and me. He was a model father and husband. Ha . . . what a load of bullshit."
She laughed cynically and stood up from the table. She started pacing before she opened up again.
"I got pregnant with Danny after Patrick had been sober for seven months. The whole time I was pregnant, he was really sweet to me. After Danny was born, he started working longer hours. He said it was so we would have enough money so that I wouldn't have to back to work for a long time, so that I wouldn't miss Danny's infancy like I'd missed Emma's. Then he started becoming obsessively protective of Danny. And he was less and less attentive to Emma with each business trip he went on. He would bring Danny home all kinds of gifts from the places he went, but nothing for Emma. When he was home, he would just sit and hold Danny for hours at a time and just stare at him. When he was asleep in his crib, Patrick would watch him. But he didn't give Emma the time of day. It was a really hard time in our relationship because I had to deal with Emma's disappointment every time he left and didn't kiss her goodbye. The while time he was gone, she would cry. And then when he got home, he didn't even acknowledge her. It destroyed her. She just didn't understand. Frankly, I didn't either. I would ask him, but he wouldn't talk to me. He just wanted to be with his son. He stopped sleeping in our bed when he was home. He slept on the floor of the nursery."
She took a deep, shaking breath.
"Then the business trips became more frequent. He was home less and less. When he was home, he would take Danny out for day trips. By that time he was a year old. I never saw Patrick. Emma began to get over his mistreatment of her. She just put up a hard shell. She pretended everything was okay. I would hear her at night, talking to her "Daddy." In his absence, she . . ."
Dana started crying.
"She made up a father figure for herself, because the man who was supposed to be her fucking father wasn't there for her."
She dropped down onto the porch swing and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Mulder walked over to the swing and sat down next to her, putting a hand on her back. She took a deep breath and steeled her resolve.
"One day while he was out of town, I got a call from his office. They said that when he had cleaned out his office, he had missed a picture frame. I guess it fell behind a filling cabinet or something. Well, I went in there, confused as too why Patrick had cleaned out his office. The guy who had taken over his office handed this frame to me and said that Patrick had left it when he quit. I didn't want to ask when he had quit or any questions or anything because, well, as his wife, I should have known this stuff. So I just say thank you and walk out. When I got to my car, I looked at the picture. I expected it to be this picture of him, Emma, and me right after her first birthday, because that's what had been in there when I gave him the frame. But it wasn't. It was him and some young blonde. And she was . . ."
She broke down again.
"She was holding my son. That broke everything I had left inside of me. I instantly knew where he had been all this time. With her. He only came home to see his son. And then he took him to her. I couldn't believe it. My anger just got worse and worse until he came home a week later. I flipped. I took my kids to my moms, and then I just screamed at him for hours. He didn't deny anything. I hated him so much at that point. But he didn't seem worried. He basically blackmailed me into staying with him. He knew that if I divorced him, I would get full custody of Danny with his past and the alcohol and everything. So he threatened me with some information that I had no idea he knew. I had to stay with him, or I would lose both kids. So from then on, he basically flaunted his affairs, and he didn't try to hide the drinking. He was using drugs too. For the next year, I was basically a single parent. I didn't let the kids think anything was wrong. They just thought he was on business a lot. But again, my kids saw my mom more than they saw me. I came to hate him more than I ever had before. A week before he died, I asked him for a divorce. I couldn't take it anymore. I hated him too much. But he refused. He didn't want to lose Danny. I don't really understand that. He didn't love his son enough to stay home and try to be a good father, but he somehow loved him too much to give him up and let the child have a good, normal life. But then he died."
She said that last part so matter of factly, so emotionlessly, it worried him.
"How did he die?" Mulder asked.
"Fire. He was with the blonde. Jessica something. Her sister came to tell me the next day. I never told anyone the truth about our marriage. Well, except my mother, and now you. Everyone else got the story that he was doing this woman's taxes when the house burst into flames. I truly liked his family. They were really nice people. I didn't think they should have to know how awful he really was. Now that I think about it though, they will have to know eventually. I guess I plan to tell the kids someday. When they're old enough to understand. I think it would be their right to know. I hope they don't hate me too much."
She stopped there.
"I can't believe I just rambled on for twenty five minutes. Thank you for listening. It felt so good to finally get the whole entire story out."
She wiped her eyes and he reached over and pulled her into his arms. A fresh wave of tears started and she buried her face in his shoulder. He rocked her against his body until the sobbing subsided. His shirt was wet by the time she pulled away. She looked up into his eyes and this time didn't look away. Something passed between them while their eyes were locked - a silent conversation that communicated more than hours of talking could have. Then Mulder broke the silence.
"I'm so sorry, Scully. You never deserved such a bastard. You should be with someone who treats you well, who loves you and will never leave you." He sounded said as he said it.
"But Mulder, I could never regret my time with Patrick. As much as I hate him, I wouldn't trade my children for the world. The only thing I regret was not getting out earlier. Maybe if I had, I wouldn't be so screwed up now."
"Did he ever hit you?"
"When he was home, he was abusive - mainly emotionally, but sometimes he turned to violence. But I'm stronger for it. He was weak from his addictions. He never hit me hard enough to make me run. I couldn't leave him. I couldn't lose my kids, not to him. God only knows how he would have treated Emma. But if he had laid even one finger on either of my children, I would have been out of there so fast."
She shuddered at the thought.
"Scully, you shouldn't have put up with it."
"You don't know. I would have lost my children. Hell, he might not have taken Emma. But I sure as hell would have lost Danny. And Emma, I don't even know what would have happened to her. I love them too much. I put up with his shit for them. They're my reason for living."
She was crying again, and he reached out for her.
"You're right, I'll never know. That is unless you tell me. Do you want to talk about what he knew?"
"I can't." Her voice was muffled by his shoulder.
"Alright Scully. You don't have to say anything you don't want to."
They sat like that for several moments. Then it was Scully's turn to ask the questions.
"Mulder, I want to know about you."
(A/N) Next time: Mulder's story. Hopefully it won't take too long. I am quite busy with classes and all kinds of other stuff that uses up my free time. The next chapter's already written, I just need to type it. I am also working on a Harry Potter story, so check that out. I don't know what it will be called.