CHAPTER 9
Dana pulled her sedan up into the driveway at the address Mulder had given her. She looked up at a house that she never would have imagined Mulder living in. It was a large brick home in a new subdivision. The front door was open and a light was burning in the foyer. That was the only light that Dana could see. She stepped out of her car and walked slowly up to the porch. She raised her hand to knock on the door and paused. She took a deep breath and knocked.
"I'll get it," a voice came from somewhere within the house, followed by the sound of running feet. A young girl came skipping down the stairs. She was definitely a Mulder. Tall with long dark hair pulled back from her face in a pony tail, she was wearing gray sweats and a purple tank top with little glittery silver stars all over it. She had her uncle's strong nose and jaw line. She really was a beautiful girl. She turned to the door and smiled.
"Hi, can I help you?"
"Umm. . ." Dana said nervously. "I'm here to see your uncle. I think he's expecting me."
The girl looked at the top of the stairs where Mulder had appeared. He nodded. "It's alright Sie. This is Dana Scully. We used to work together."
"Oh, did you work on the X-Files with Uncle Fox?"
"Yeah," Dana answered, feeling more at ease with the girl already.
"Well, I'm Sierra Case. Maybe I'll see you around sometime. You seem cool. Well, I gotta go finish some homework now. Night Uncle Fox." Sierra bounded up the stairs and kissed her uncle on the cheek before heading into the hallway.
"Scully . . ." Mulder began. "I think we should talk somewhere . . . private. My study is back here."
He led her past the big wooden staircase, through a hallway that went past the new kitchen and then the formal dining room. At the end of the hall, a door stood partly open. He pushed it the rest of the way open and stood aside for her. She walked into the room and immediately laughed softly. It was definitely Mulder's study. His "I Want to Believe" poster was tacked up behind the messy, disorganized desk. Papers and files littered every available surface, including the beat up old sofa that she recognized from his apartment back in his bachelor days. He shoved some of the files onto the floor to make room for her on the couch, and then plopped down next to her, crossing his legs at the ankles. She smiled.
"Glad to see you've still got a touch of your old decorating style, Mulder. The rest of the house doesn't really say 'Trust no one,' now does it?"
"That all came with the house. Wouldn't want Sierra to think her uncle's crazy, would I? She still doesn't know about the whole 'Spooky Mulder' business. I think I should try to keep it that way, wouldn't you say?" Dana nodded, smirking.
"Well, Mulder. I think we have some things to talk about. You said it yourself; there are still things that need to be said."
"Yes. . ." he trailed off, then continued again. "I think we should talk about that night. Neither of us has ever said anything about it since it happened. I mean, you were still with Patrick and all . . ."
"Hell Mulder, it was a week before the wedding. Yeah I was still with Patrick. But I wouldn't change anything. I mean . . ."
"I know what you mean. Even though it was just one night. You really don't regret it?"
"No. how could I?" She laughed bitterly. "If only I had seen then what an ass Patrick was, if only I had listened to you. Stayed with you. You know, I still remember everything about that night. Everything."
* * * * * * *
FIVE YEARS EARLIER
Scully was having another heated argument with Patrick about their lies after the wedding. This time it was about her working. He wanted her to stay at home and play the happy little homemaker. It was the farthest thing from what she wanted. She wanted to at least work up until she got pregnant, and then take some time off to be with her kids, and then go back to part time. He wanted her to quit right after the wedding and start tending house right away. He especially didn't want her working the X- Files. Said it was too dangerous. She knew why he was really so angry. He had been upset since she had said that she wanted Mulder to walk her down the aisle. He hadn't even wanted him there. Patrick had been jealous of Mulder from the start. She and Mulder were close, too close in Patrick's mind, and it unnerved him.
After their big blow up, she left the apartment and drove. She started out just driving to blow off some steam, until she found herself in front of Mulder's building. She turned off the car and sat there for a few minutes, unsure of what to do. She knew that he would welcome her up, commiserate with her about Patrick, and let her just vent, like she needed to. But she didn't want to keep turning to him. She couldn't come to depend on him more than she already did, because she was getting married. She needed to be able to fend for herself, make her own decisions, and handle things on her own, without him. He had been her rock for too long. She leaned her head on the steering wheel, her eyes blurring. She was suddenly exhausted.
She opened the car door, her mind made up, though it was sheer practicality that made her do it. She couldn't drive back across the city like this. She was libel to kill herself or someone else. The evening had been emotionally draining, and after a physically tiring day at work, she was dead. She walked to the door of the building and rang the buzzer next to 'Mulder, F.' She glanced at her watch. Surely he would forgive her for buzzing at two a.m. He probably wasn't even asleep yet. Sure enough, a gruff, tired, but definitely awake voice garbled through the speaker. "Who's there?"
"It's me."
The door unlocked with a soft clicking and she went in. She walked up to Mulder's door, where she found him leaning on the door frame, his jaw stubbly with a five o'clock shadow and his hair mussed as if he had been absently running his fingers through it. He wore gray sweats and a dark blue tee-shirt that made his eyes look eerily bright.
"Hey," was all he said.
"Can I crash here tonight?" Scully asked, sounding oddly unlike herself. She had decided in the stairwell to do something rash for once in her life. She was going to leave Patrick waiting and worrying. She wasn't going to come home till morning. Then he would bombard her with a million questions about where she had been and she would be decisively vague. It would serve him right; give him something to be jealous about.
"Sure. Need to talk?" He stepped aside and let her walk through the door before closing it.
"We had a fight. Another one," she answered before he could give her that questioning look he was so good at.
"What about this time?"
"Work. Well, the fact that he doesn't want me to."
"What? He can't do that to you, you know. You can't just stop working Scully. What would you do?" He sounded horror struck at the idea. She wasn't sure what was worse for him: the idea of losing her, or the idea of sitting around all day with nothing to do, no cases to investigate.
"I don't know - clean his house?" she said bitterly. "The man's gotta eat too."
"Scully, you have sacrificed too much to go and play house now."
"I know Mulder. What the hell do you think I'm doing here? I argued with him. Jeez, the way you're talking, you'd think I agreed with him. We got into a yelling match, and then I left. And I don't want to go back there tonight. I can't. I'm too drained to deal with the drive, let alone to deal with him. So can I sleep on your couch?"
"Sure thing Scully. You know you're always welcome here."
"What am I doing Mulder?" Scully asked suddenly.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm sleeping at another man's place a week before my wedding to a man who's already jealous of you in the first place."
"You just needed to blow off some steam, and now you are just going to sleep it off."
"Oh, come on Mulder. Let's be honest here. I knew what I was doing when I came up here. I knew this would piss him off more than anything. I am making a conscious effort to do something rebellious. To do something to show Patrick that I am not his possession. And you know what? I don't feel bad about it. In fact, it feels damn good." Scully smiled triumphantly.
Then her smile faded. She blinked a few times. "Am I a bad person Mulder? I am consciously goading my fiancé to do something rash. It's like I want him to blow up at me. Like I want this marriage to fail. Am I doing the right thing?"
"In what?"
"Marrying him."
"Scully, you know how I feel about this whole thing. I am going to be happy for you if you're happy, but I don't think he's right for you. He's too controlling. I don't think you'll be happy in the long run, and all that matters to me in this IS your happiness, so I guess that explains it. In fact, I don't even think you're happy now. Screw what happens in the long run." He looked in her eyes. "Scully, don't lie to me now. Are you happy? Now? Are you happy with Patrick now, with the idea of marrying him? Answer me Scully."
Dana pulled her sedan up into the driveway at the address Mulder had given her. She looked up at a house that she never would have imagined Mulder living in. It was a large brick home in a new subdivision. The front door was open and a light was burning in the foyer. That was the only light that Dana could see. She stepped out of her car and walked slowly up to the porch. She raised her hand to knock on the door and paused. She took a deep breath and knocked.
"I'll get it," a voice came from somewhere within the house, followed by the sound of running feet. A young girl came skipping down the stairs. She was definitely a Mulder. Tall with long dark hair pulled back from her face in a pony tail, she was wearing gray sweats and a purple tank top with little glittery silver stars all over it. She had her uncle's strong nose and jaw line. She really was a beautiful girl. She turned to the door and smiled.
"Hi, can I help you?"
"Umm. . ." Dana said nervously. "I'm here to see your uncle. I think he's expecting me."
The girl looked at the top of the stairs where Mulder had appeared. He nodded. "It's alright Sie. This is Dana Scully. We used to work together."
"Oh, did you work on the X-Files with Uncle Fox?"
"Yeah," Dana answered, feeling more at ease with the girl already.
"Well, I'm Sierra Case. Maybe I'll see you around sometime. You seem cool. Well, I gotta go finish some homework now. Night Uncle Fox." Sierra bounded up the stairs and kissed her uncle on the cheek before heading into the hallway.
"Scully . . ." Mulder began. "I think we should talk somewhere . . . private. My study is back here."
He led her past the big wooden staircase, through a hallway that went past the new kitchen and then the formal dining room. At the end of the hall, a door stood partly open. He pushed it the rest of the way open and stood aside for her. She walked into the room and immediately laughed softly. It was definitely Mulder's study. His "I Want to Believe" poster was tacked up behind the messy, disorganized desk. Papers and files littered every available surface, including the beat up old sofa that she recognized from his apartment back in his bachelor days. He shoved some of the files onto the floor to make room for her on the couch, and then plopped down next to her, crossing his legs at the ankles. She smiled.
"Glad to see you've still got a touch of your old decorating style, Mulder. The rest of the house doesn't really say 'Trust no one,' now does it?"
"That all came with the house. Wouldn't want Sierra to think her uncle's crazy, would I? She still doesn't know about the whole 'Spooky Mulder' business. I think I should try to keep it that way, wouldn't you say?" Dana nodded, smirking.
"Well, Mulder. I think we have some things to talk about. You said it yourself; there are still things that need to be said."
"Yes. . ." he trailed off, then continued again. "I think we should talk about that night. Neither of us has ever said anything about it since it happened. I mean, you were still with Patrick and all . . ."
"Hell Mulder, it was a week before the wedding. Yeah I was still with Patrick. But I wouldn't change anything. I mean . . ."
"I know what you mean. Even though it was just one night. You really don't regret it?"
"No. how could I?" She laughed bitterly. "If only I had seen then what an ass Patrick was, if only I had listened to you. Stayed with you. You know, I still remember everything about that night. Everything."
* * * * * * *
FIVE YEARS EARLIER
Scully was having another heated argument with Patrick about their lies after the wedding. This time it was about her working. He wanted her to stay at home and play the happy little homemaker. It was the farthest thing from what she wanted. She wanted to at least work up until she got pregnant, and then take some time off to be with her kids, and then go back to part time. He wanted her to quit right after the wedding and start tending house right away. He especially didn't want her working the X- Files. Said it was too dangerous. She knew why he was really so angry. He had been upset since she had said that she wanted Mulder to walk her down the aisle. He hadn't even wanted him there. Patrick had been jealous of Mulder from the start. She and Mulder were close, too close in Patrick's mind, and it unnerved him.
After their big blow up, she left the apartment and drove. She started out just driving to blow off some steam, until she found herself in front of Mulder's building. She turned off the car and sat there for a few minutes, unsure of what to do. She knew that he would welcome her up, commiserate with her about Patrick, and let her just vent, like she needed to. But she didn't want to keep turning to him. She couldn't come to depend on him more than she already did, because she was getting married. She needed to be able to fend for herself, make her own decisions, and handle things on her own, without him. He had been her rock for too long. She leaned her head on the steering wheel, her eyes blurring. She was suddenly exhausted.
She opened the car door, her mind made up, though it was sheer practicality that made her do it. She couldn't drive back across the city like this. She was libel to kill herself or someone else. The evening had been emotionally draining, and after a physically tiring day at work, she was dead. She walked to the door of the building and rang the buzzer next to 'Mulder, F.' She glanced at her watch. Surely he would forgive her for buzzing at two a.m. He probably wasn't even asleep yet. Sure enough, a gruff, tired, but definitely awake voice garbled through the speaker. "Who's there?"
"It's me."
The door unlocked with a soft clicking and she went in. She walked up to Mulder's door, where she found him leaning on the door frame, his jaw stubbly with a five o'clock shadow and his hair mussed as if he had been absently running his fingers through it. He wore gray sweats and a dark blue tee-shirt that made his eyes look eerily bright.
"Hey," was all he said.
"Can I crash here tonight?" Scully asked, sounding oddly unlike herself. She had decided in the stairwell to do something rash for once in her life. She was going to leave Patrick waiting and worrying. She wasn't going to come home till morning. Then he would bombard her with a million questions about where she had been and she would be decisively vague. It would serve him right; give him something to be jealous about.
"Sure. Need to talk?" He stepped aside and let her walk through the door before closing it.
"We had a fight. Another one," she answered before he could give her that questioning look he was so good at.
"What about this time?"
"Work. Well, the fact that he doesn't want me to."
"What? He can't do that to you, you know. You can't just stop working Scully. What would you do?" He sounded horror struck at the idea. She wasn't sure what was worse for him: the idea of losing her, or the idea of sitting around all day with nothing to do, no cases to investigate.
"I don't know - clean his house?" she said bitterly. "The man's gotta eat too."
"Scully, you have sacrificed too much to go and play house now."
"I know Mulder. What the hell do you think I'm doing here? I argued with him. Jeez, the way you're talking, you'd think I agreed with him. We got into a yelling match, and then I left. And I don't want to go back there tonight. I can't. I'm too drained to deal with the drive, let alone to deal with him. So can I sleep on your couch?"
"Sure thing Scully. You know you're always welcome here."
"What am I doing Mulder?" Scully asked suddenly.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm sleeping at another man's place a week before my wedding to a man who's already jealous of you in the first place."
"You just needed to blow off some steam, and now you are just going to sleep it off."
"Oh, come on Mulder. Let's be honest here. I knew what I was doing when I came up here. I knew this would piss him off more than anything. I am making a conscious effort to do something rebellious. To do something to show Patrick that I am not his possession. And you know what? I don't feel bad about it. In fact, it feels damn good." Scully smiled triumphantly.
Then her smile faded. She blinked a few times. "Am I a bad person Mulder? I am consciously goading my fiancé to do something rash. It's like I want him to blow up at me. Like I want this marriage to fail. Am I doing the right thing?"
"In what?"
"Marrying him."
"Scully, you know how I feel about this whole thing. I am going to be happy for you if you're happy, but I don't think he's right for you. He's too controlling. I don't think you'll be happy in the long run, and all that matters to me in this IS your happiness, so I guess that explains it. In fact, I don't even think you're happy now. Screw what happens in the long run." He looked in her eyes. "Scully, don't lie to me now. Are you happy? Now? Are you happy with Patrick now, with the idea of marrying him? Answer me Scully."