The next day, the trial began. The opening statements had been uneventful. "You only objected twice during counsel's statement…I'm impressed, Ms. Novak," Judge Petrovski wasn't even sure herself if that was sarcasm or not. "Are the people prepared to inquire?"
"Yes, your honor," Serena and Casey replied in unison.
Uh-oh. The dynamic duo had forgotten to decide who got to question the witness. Casey looked over at Serena and shrugged. "Rock, paper, scissors?" she asked.
Serena frowned. "We've got some paper on this legal pad thingy, and I always carry my nail scissors in my Louis Vitton bag, just in case. But what do you want a rock for?"
Casey rolled her eyes. "It's a game," Casey explained. "To decide who gets to go first."
"Oh!" Serena exclaimed. "I knew that!" The girls counted to three, and Serena made a fist while Casey spread her fingers. "Rock beats up paper!" Serena squealed, pounding on Casey's hand for emphasis. "I win!"
Casey, expert that she was in all competitive games, knew full well that paper beat rock. However, she was still hoping to score with Serena later on, so she grudgingly conceded victory to the blonde attorney. Clapping her hands with glee, Serena approached the witness stand.
"Detective Benson," Serena asked, overemphasizing her diction as always. "Is it true that your investigation concluded that the defendant is guilty as sin?"
"Objection! Leading," Casey rose smartly to her feet.
Judge Petrovski took a flask out of her robes and took a deep swallow of burbon. Serena whirled around furiously. "You're not supposed to object to me!" she hissed.
"Oh, Uh, withdrawn," Casey sputtered.
"Oh no, Ms. Novak," Petrovski said, wiping a few errant drops from her chin. "I'm sustaining that objection. Congratulations, you finally won one. Too bad it was against your own team."
The unfortunate defense attorney had been taking a sip of water at just that moment. When he heard the judge's ruling he laughed so hard he aspirated the whole glass and slumped over the counsel table, unconscious. Normally, this would prompt Judge Petrovski to grant a recess. But given the circumstances, she doubted that the defendant was in any danger of being convicted, with or without conscious representation. And she was desperate to get this trial over with. "Continue, Ms. Southerlyn."
"Detective Benson," Serena asked, "What was going through the defendant's mind when he raped a little girl?"
"How would I know, you hand-flipping moron?" Olivia exploded.
"Objection, your honor!" Serena pouted.
"You can't object to your own witness's answers," Petrovski said through clenched teeth.
"Are you sure?" Serena asked. "Because I don't think the book says anything about that." She moved towards the counsel table to retrieve her dog-eared copy of the Idiot's Guide to Trial Advocacy.
"Are you questioning my knowledge of the law, Counselor?"
Casey felt it was her duty to stick up for Serena. She leapt up. "Your honor, I object to your badgering my co-counsel!"
Petrovski put her head in her hands and counted to ten. It didn't help. She counted to twenty. Nope, still no good. Well, she'd tried. Her head snapped up. "I find the pair of you in contempt of court," she snapped. "Bailiff, take them to the lockup."
Casey's jaw dropped. "If you jail both of us, what happens to this case?"
"I'll give you a multiple choice answer," Petrovski said. "A) Continuance. B) Mistrial. C) Dismissal. What'll it be?"
"Continuance!" "Mistrial!" Casey and Serena gave different answers.
"Both wrong." Pertovski turned to the defendant. "Sir, you are free to go. I am so sorry you had to witness this mockery of a legal proceeding."
"No harm done," the defendant said jovially. "In fact, these lovely ladies have inspired me to pursue a law degree. I figure, if they can do it, anyone can!"