Olivia walked back into the squad room after her brief appearance in court. Nobody bothered to ask how the case had gone; they'd been working with Novak long enough to know the answer to that one. "How long did it take for the judge to throw out the case this time?" Munch asked sourly.
Olivia sighed. "Oh, about ten minutes," she replied wearily. "I was the first witness up, and I didn't get to answer more than two questions."
Fin's eyes bulged. "Even for Novak, that's gotta be some kinda record! That's messed up."
"Well, she had a little help," said Olivia, helping herself to a cup of coffee.
"What, the defense attorney was that good?" Elliot asked.
"No, her co-counsel was that bad."
Elliot choked on his coffee. "From what corned of hell did Branch manage to pull another attorney as bad as Casey?" he sputtered.
"From the homicide division, apparently," Olivia sighed.
Munch's ears perked up. "I think I know the one you mean. Skinny, blonde and with a voice that never changes inflection?"
"That'd be the one. Her name is..." Olivia sighed sourly, not wanting to defile her mother's given name by using it in connection with this vapid ninny. "Her name's Serena Southerlyn."
Everyone howled with laughter. They'd heard the cops from the 2-7 bitch about what an idiot that girl was. "How can two lawyers that stupid be aloud to live?" Elliot choked out through tears of merriment.
"Oh Southerlyn's stupid all right, but I think Novak's just ignorant," Munch observed seriously. "There's a difference, you know."
"No, I think they're both stupid," Olivia countered. "And clearly judge Petrovski agrees with me…she held 'em both in contempt!" More hysterical laughter ensued.
Cragen, who had been lurking in the doorway to his office, sauntered over. "You mean that both the attorneys in the Sex Crimes division are currently in jail?" he asked incredulously. Olivia nodded, doubled over with laughter. "Well," he continued, sarcasm creeping into his voice, "Doesn't anyone think they should go down there and bail them out?"
That stopped the laughter but quick. All the detectives began fidgeting with their coffee and staring at their shoes. "Come on, children!" Cragen exploded. "If we have no lawyers, what does that mean for this unit?"
"No one to tell me to lay off the perps," Elliot put in immediately.
"No one asking us nosy personal questions," Olivia supplied.
"No more stories about the softball team and the equestrian team and the Tour de France," this from Munch.
"And no skinny white bitch showing up at the crime scenes and gettin' all in my business!" concluded Fin.
"Also, it means no search warrants, no arraignments and no convictions!" Cragen thundered.
"Not like Casey ever did those things for us anyway," Olivia muttered under her breath.
"So does this mean we get a half day?" Munch asked eagerly.
"It means that one of you is going to the courthouse to bail them out. NOW!"
Elliot knew when he was beat. "C'mon, Liv," he said, grabbing the car keys off his desk. "Let's hurry before the blonde one becomes somebody's bitch."