Shire summer.
The plans for seduction.
T: Needless to say things have not been exactly sunny in camp Twashiba, but things have gotten much better and so I give you this at last with a tentative promise of another chapter by Saturday, but I make no promises as this is the week of the extended dvd and I might get lost in that. LOTR is not mine, more is the pity!! Angst and slash oh wonderful slash.
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Ever since the very first time Frodo had introduced Sam to Merry, the Brandybuck had formed an odd obsession with the gardener. An obsession, he would readily admit, that was born from the unique attractiveness of the Gamgee.
For there was both a Hobbit like beauty, found in Sam's personality and his devotion to plant and soil, and a beauty independent of the norms looked for by Hobbits, these found in the sun bleached hue of curls and skin and in his work hardened physique. His greatest beauty, Merry had discovered once familiarity had made his appearance familiar, was found in his eyes. For though they were merely the deep hazel brown common to Hobbits, a shift in Sam's mood would tweak the colour just slightly. From the copper flecked hazel that was their norm when Sam was within Frodo's presence or was simply talking of his Master, to the mud brown that Merry had only heard of from Frodo and signified but one emotion. Grief.
Therefore as Merry walked into the main dinning room of Brandy hall, with Frodo close on his heals, his eyes sought out Sam so that he might both look on the Gamgee's beauty for a moment and perhaps judge how he was feeling at this moment. What he saw there in Sam's eyes, the faint green flecks of worry, concerned him slightly, yet they faded into heat and intensity as Sam found Frodo.
"There you are Merry, Frodo. We had begun to worry that you had gotten yourselves lost again," Merry's mother said as she gestured to the empty chairs beside Sam.
"Indeed we were just talkin' about forming search parties, Masters." Sam said as the pair came to sit beside him.
"You shall have to forgive us Sam, I am afraid that we rather forgot the time."
"That is all well and good, Merry. Yet I believe that you have rather worried Sam and I out of two years of our lives. It has been nearly three hours after all." Pippin remarked as he sidled into the empty chair at Merry's left.
"You should know by now that we can look after ourselves, Pip, Sam." Frodo remarked, a warning in his voice as he mentioned the Gamgee's name.
"I can't help worrying, sir." Sam replied, the tone in his voice enough indication to Merry that Frodo would have little difficulty in winning his heart. His Cousin seemed ignorant to the fact, however, for all that could normally be seen within his eyes was lost now to a mask of indifference.
That naivety placed a sudden burning curiosity into Merry's heart and he found his eyes wondering to Pippin. He knew he was looking at his Cousin as un-objectively as he could, searching for something that might give him hope of a reflection of his feelings in the younger Hobbit's heart. Yet after a few wary glances Pippin's way all Merry could see in those green eyes was the same childlike love and devotion that had always been there. And as the disappointment weighed heavy in his heart he turned his eyes away from Pippin and settled onto the food before him.
He had no appetite, but for appearances sake he made a halfhearted attempt on the meal and allowed his mother's voice, currently employed with giving Frodo all the gossip he had missed since moving to Hobbiton, to wash over him. He smiled as Frodo firmly yet politely interrupted his mother not long after that to introduce Sam to the gathered Hobbits. It was merely a formality of course, most of those present having heard of Sam from both Merry and Pippin and being smart enough to realise that Frodo's guest was one and the same as the Hobbit they had been talking of, yet it was a necessary formality and reciprocated in the normal fashion with a toast to the new guest and a repetition of his or her name.
Once that formality was over second course was served and Merry, having no wish to carry on pretending he was altogether okay for the normal six course meal served when guests came, excused himself with the half lie that he was feeling a little unwell. Of course he then had to convince his mother it was little more than a head cold before he was allowed to leave the dinning room and head through the network of passages to his room.
He was only slightly surprised, upon opening the door, to find Pippin sat on his bed, his eyes filled with worry,
"I am fine, Pip." He said, his eyes moving away from that care as quickly as they might.
"Really? Then why did you leave, Merry? And why did you not say a thing to me?"
"I am just a little out of sorts, Pip. Nothing a good bit of sleep will not cure I assure you." He stated, pulling off his jacket to expose the odd golden yellow of his favourite waistcoat and the patched remains of one of his finest cotton shirts, as he did so. He could feel Pippin's eyes on him as a keen heat on the side of his face.
"I know that you are lying, Merry, something is eating at you. Something bad enough so that you feel you have to keep it from me, yet something that you have no trouble telling Frodo.
That hurt, Merry, but if you would just tell me why I can not help you instead of Frodo I shall let you be."
"Because sometimes I need to be on my own, because sometimes you are too young, too ignorant to understand me. Because I cannot spend every waking second protecting you. Because I need my own life, Pippin." And once it was said Merry turned back to face Pippin and there was so much hurt shining out at him that he wanted to take the words back. But he knew there was no chance of that, not with so much said and so much pushing at him to be said.
"Just let me be, Pippin." He commanded and that was enough for the young Hobbit. He got to his feet and with the tears running freely down his face now he raised a small hand and struck Merry. The blow was not particularly hard but the premise behind it, that he had pushed Pip hard enough so that the Took would strike him, brought a sting to the blow that would have been missing otherwise.
"Wake up, Merry before you end up pushing me so far away that I will not come back." And with that Pippin left the room. Merry sagged as the door slammed to, the weight of his secret heart too much for him in that moment.
"He is right you know, Merry." Came the soft tones of Frodo's voice. Merry lifted his head and the reality of what had been said rushed up within him and before he knew what was happening he was nestled against the bare warmth of Frodo's lithe form. It was odd being comforted like this by Frodo, for he had never been tactile in his youth, not even when loss had driven him to hard grief and great distraction. Yet despite the oddity the scent of Frodo, a mix of lavender and Bilbo's pipe smoke, was a great comfort to him and he wept.
"Are you a little calmer now?" He enquired once the silence became too unbearable.
"Yes. Thank you."
"Do you wish to tell me how you feel now?"
"Hollow, as if he has balled my soul up and taken it with him…I can not bare this much longer."
"It takes you like that sometimes and you can not help pull yourself further into the depression because you know that to say something would be stupidity itself."
"For me maybe, Frodo. But all you would have to do is say something and happiness would be yours."
"You are wrong, Merry."
"Am I? You look at him, Frodo, without seeing, if only you would open your eyes up for a moment you would realise that all the proof you need is sparked there in his eyes."
"It is more complicated than that, much more. I too once thought that I could find my answers there in the light of his eyes, but I have spent may years finding nothing other than his devotion. Do you know, Merry, how often I have asked him to drop the `sir` when addressing me, to name me `Frodo` just once? So many that I have given up hope. Class divides us you see, more each day, indeed I see clearly my fate now, to love him always until he takes a wife of his own class and leaves me to raise himself a family. I envy you the equality you hold with Pippin for that reason, Merry, for between you there are no barriers." Frodo said and Merry had to resist the urge to tell him that it was the closeness that was making things with Pippin so hard, that if they were not so close he would have already taken the risk and spoken out. Yet that compulsion was nothing to the sudden irrational hope kindled in his heart. For if Frodo would believe willingly that Sam would allow the class division to separate them and thus had blinded himself to the heat and heart in the gardener's eyes, then perhaps he too was doing the same thing, blinding himself due to some irrational fear.
"You are wrong, Frodo and for the very first time I too begin to think that I am wrong also. For something in your words gives me hope and I shall take it to fuel myself through these harder times."
"Are you saying we carry on?"
"Yes." He smiled then and all his fear and hurt pushed away for a moment an idea came into his mind of where to begin this task .
*
It was late afternoon of the next day by the time Merry implemented his idea. The lost time had been spent in explaining to his parents why they had had to comfort a tear streaked Pippin last night. Though oddly enough Pippin had not seemed upset this morning, at least not while Merry avoided eye contact, for the moment he looked into Pip's eyes he could see the hurt he had wrought there.
Almost thankfully Merry had little chance to see that hurt during the day as Pippin had attached himself firmly to Sam, an action the gardener had allowed out of a wish to help and heal the young Hobbit. Yet Frodo seemed put out by the acceptance, for in his eyes all he could perceive was Sam willingly ignoring class protocol for someone other than himself.
Thus when the opportunity had come for Merry to finally take up his idea he had grasped it willingly, knowing well that time away from the hall might ease away his Cousin's envy and perhaps squash his depression for a time.
And now a good hour later he was drawing his small horse trap to a halt outside a large building that bore a simple wooden sign stating that this was `Furrow's`. It was a name Frodo recognised well and with a breath to suppress the laugh threatening to bubble through him he enquired,
"Why are we stopping here, Merry? Is Furrow's not your tailor?"
"Indeed it is and we are here for two reasons. One, we both need time away from the closeness of Brandy hall before we go mad and two, we could both do with something nice and new in our wardrobe."
"That may well be, Merry, but judging Furrow's merely on that rather interesting waistcoat you keep insisting on wearing I really do not think it will cater to my tastes."
"I shall have you know, Frodo, that Furrow's is an impeccable establishment with the greatest range of fabrics to chose from. That I could find such a wonderful fabric as that of my waistcoat within its walls is show of its diversity." Merry remarked as he dismounted from the trap.
"Well I am still only half convinced despite the speech, but it can not hurt to look." Frodo said as he too dismounted the trap.
"That is the sprit, Frodo. We shall make a Brandybuck of you yet." Merry said as he headed into the shop, Frodo hard upon his heals.
Each and every wall was lined with rail upon rail of fabric, some bright and patterned in such a way to cater to those of the more adventurous taste and some traditional fabrics only delicately patterned with perhaps a touch of silver thread along the hem line or pearl buttons instead of wooden ones.
"Can I help at all, sir?" The enquiry was a soft one and matched well the lass that had posed it. She was slight and almost entirely plain but for the vivid grey of her eyes.
"Not for the moment, Lilly, I would like to make an introduction first if I may." Merry said as he rounded Frodo so that Lilly might see him better.
"Of course, Master Merry." Lilly replied.
"Then it gives me pride to introduce you at last to the estimable Frodo Baggins. Frodo, this is Lilly Furrow, patron of Furrow's." Merry remarked as Lilly curtsied low.
"It is good to finally meet you, sir, Master Merry talks a great deal of you whenever he is here. Though he failed to mention what a handsome lad you were." And Merry was surprised to see his cousin colour at the compliment, for he would have assumed that Frodo had heard such things many times over since moving away to Hobbiton.
"I thank you for the kindness, Lilly, for most would say that my appearance is `unnatural`."
"Nonsense, sir, you can call any fair if you know where to look. But you did not come here to listen to my nonsense."
"No, but it is always good to listen to you Lilly. We came for a set of new clothes."
"For what sort of an occasion?"
"Informal, though we both have wish to make an impression."
"Then perhaps this blue here for you, Master Merry, as a compliment to your eyes and if I team that with this grey and perhaps this lighter blue." She said as she pulled at various fabrics and piled them into her arms. Once she seemed content with her selection she gestured for Merry to follow her through the mass of fabrics towards a screened section of the shop.
Four hours later the curtain was pulled back to reveal Merry clothed in a white shirt, dark blue waistcoat, (picked out with a pail silver embroidery) pail blue jacket and grey trousers. Each shade picked out the next and as Lilly had presumed the dark blue of the waistcoat pulled and intensified the grey of Merry's eyes.
"The Jacket will need some pulling in here and there and the trousers need lengthening, but apart from that I think you look the part master Merry."
"Frodo?"
"It really does suit you, Merry, indeed I do not think you have ever looked this fine before." Frodo replied. Merry shifted uncomfortably at that comment and Frodo had to suppress a chuckle as he realised that Lilly had lined the jacket with the same yellow fabric that adorned Merry's normal waistcoat.
"If that is settled you can go and change, master Merry, while I go and see what I can see for Frodo."
It was another four hours later when the curtain was again pulled open and Lilly appeared, a broad smile upon her lips.
"Well it took some effort, master, but I think you shall be very much pleased. Frodo?" She enquired. Frodo appeared into view a moment later and Merry found his ability for comprehensive thought lost for a moment.
For the soft almost pearl like shine of the fabric of the jacket brought such a vitality to Frodo's skin that Merry could almost believe that he was shining, yet this inner light was nothing to the very intensity of Frodo's eyes, brightened by the soft autumnal orange of the waistcoat he was wearing. Finally the cut of the tails of the jacket and of the black trousers was such that it added form to the litheness of Frodo's body and added an elegance that fair took the breath away.
"Well?" Frodo enquired.
"You look absolutely amassing, Frodo, just…wow." Merry remarked.
"Like yours, master Merry, it still needs a little tweaking, but this is defiantly the outfit for him."
"I could not agree more."
"Then you can go and change back now, master Baggins. It shall be the usual arrangement, Merry, I shall bring these to you tomorrow along with the item you requested and you will pay me when you have received them."
"Right, and I assume the usual payment is acceptable?"
"Of course, sir, for your family does make a good drop of Winyards."
"Then I shall see you tomorrow."
*
The journey back to Brandy hall was quiet as Merry pondered the next step and Frodo drifted away in the depths of his imagination. It was a content silence and Merry felt loathed to break it when his mind eventually ceased on an idea, but he knew that he had to tell Frodo, if only so that he might have another perspective on whether the decision was a sensible one or not.
"I think I may have a plan, Frodo."
"Then would you care to inform me?"
"We must tell them the truth, Frodo, it does neither us nor our friendships with them any good and if they do not return our feelings then it should make little difference if they are our true friends. If they are not and they respond in a difficult manner…then we move on from that as we can.
"Such a confession as the ones we must make need a suitable way of delivering them and a suitable background. Now we both know that Pip thinks with his stomach and so I shall give him a banquet and tell him when all is better between us. How you might tell Sam is best left to you for I have little idea of what he loves best."
"Song. I shall tell him in song." And with that decision made they fell back into silence, their minds now on the next day and the beginning of what would either be something wonderful or the hardest moment of their lives.
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T: Well that's it for this chapter, the next one will be mainly m/p so if you're here for the f/s then there is a wait ahead I'm afraid.
Thanks to the fiction ` Frodo gets a new look` for making me think about dressing the lads up and to the costume designer of the films for the Rivendale sick bed outfit that obviously inspired Frodo's, get up here.
Also thank you to the creators of amé, for its herby goodness has brought happiness to me in a way that chocolate always fails to.
R&R and I'll tell you about my next fic…it's a corker!