The shopkeeper stood and stared at the empty shelf. He'd never even dreamed of such a huge sale. Yes, everyone bought coffee at some point, but very few people bought nearly forty pounds of the stuff in one go.
His gaze shifted from the shelf to the bag sitting on the counter. Very few people were willing to pay in gold for coffee, either, so he really shouldn't be complaining.
~
"Are you going to take that mug away from your face at all today?" asked Ienska as they drew near to the shimmering curtain. Reluctantly, Vetinari let the mug drop from his lips. "And I do wish you'd choose a straighter path."
It annoyed her no end that she couldn't get her horse to do what she wanted it to. She had thought, after several days of observing Vetinari – that is, observing Vetinari's technique, she would be able to at least get her mount to turn if she wanted it to. But the creature just continued on behind the giant white beast, regardless of what she did with the ropes…reins.
"Feel free to strike out on your own," he suggested. If it had been anyone else, she would have thought the comment was smug. But, now that he had coffee again, Vetinari seemed as unemotional and reserved as ever. Maybe she'd hide the giant bag of coffee beans tied to the saddle behind him, just to make him sweat.
Ahead of them, draping over the path, was the great curtain of what, it seemed, actually was rain. It annoyed her that Vetinari had been right, even about something so minor and obvious. The more time she spent with him, the more things like that were starting to grate on her nerves.
The downpour divided the road, one side coated in mud, and the other dust with a few random specks of darkened earth where drops had splashed over the barrier.
She leaned back, eyes following the wall in either direction. It seemed to curve away, encircling an area of land in its watery embrace. Carefully, she reached a hand forward, trying to nudge the bay nearer the curtain. It continued to stand, quite contentedly, beside Vetinari's mount. Biting back a sound of annoyance, she attempted to swing out of the saddle. Luckily, she was much better at falling than at getting into the contraption and managed to land in something resembling a dignified crouch. She glanced up to see Vetinari watching her, mild amusement dancing in his blue eyes.
Choosing to ignore him for the time being, she stepped forward and stuck a hand into the downpour. It felt just like it looked: exactly like rain. She took one more step forward, through the curtain.
Probably not the wisest move she decided half a second later, as she stepped back out, drenched to the bone. She stepped back in anyhow. It wasn't as if she could get any wetter.
The drizzle was cool, cloaking the world in gray and filling it with a light patter. Nearby, a stand of trees rustled gently as the rain hit their branches.
Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back to feel the cool drops trickle down her face. After a moment she cracked her eyes open. A dark, unbroken ceiling stretched ahead of her. She took a step back.
And was nearly blinded by the vivid blue of the sky outside the curtain. The world outside the strange, centralized storm was warm and thick with the scent of dust.
She tried to shake the water out of her tunic, which was clinging uncomfortably, but gave it up as hopeless. Looking around, she saw Vetinari sitting on a rock without so much as a drop of water on him.
Well, that wasn't going to last long.
~
Vetinari gave the girl an appraising look as she trotted over. It had been quite amusing to watch her jump in and out of the strange curtain, but ever since the misunderstanding with his mother, and Ienska's brief foray into the realm of feminine apparel, he had been trying very hard not to pay mind to certain…attributes. The wet tunic certainly didn't help matters.
"You're drenched," he pointed out.
"I hadn't noticed," she said absently, though the flick of dark hair that sent a splatter of water in his direction seemed deliberate enough.
"Well?" he asked, pointedly brushing a droplet off his sleeve.
"Well what?" she said, sitting down next to him and ignoring his annoyance.
"What, exactly, did you find so interesting in there?" He shifted away from where the water dripping off of Ienska was pooling between them. The girl seemed to have some sort of power over the tiny streams, though, because they continued their slow journey towards him. Unfortunately, it would be, he felt, undignified to leap up in protest.
"Wet," she said, wringing her hair out. On his boot. And that was quite enough to convince him that a dignified retreat from his perch on the rock was entirely acceptable. "Very wet," she added helpfully.
"Ah." There was a pause as he readjusted the damp sleeve of his tunic. "Anything seem particularly out of place, then?"
"Aside from an immobile wall of rain hovering over the plains?"
"Obviously."
"Not particularly."
"I see." There was another pause. "Anything seem dangerous?"
Ienska looked up from her hair ringing, nose wrinkled and an odd expression on her face. "You didn't seem too concerned about danger when I was actually in there."
"No, then?" When she continued to glare at him, he directed his gaze to the curved blade hanging from her belt. She did not wear it for decoration.
"No," she admitted with a sigh.
"I suppose," he said after a moment's contemplation of the wall. "That we are going through?"
"Apparently," she said, far too brightly.
"One could wish," he said, "for a heavier cloak."
~
"Do you think it's magic?" Ienska asked. They had been traveling in the constant downpour for several hours now, and she couldn't decide which was worse: sloshing through the mud, or sitting on a wet horse. Unfortunately, whether she was leading or riding the animal, there was no escaping its rather unique and strong smell.
Vetinari looked at her, probably in exasperation. "For the seventh time, I know no more about this place than you do. I do not know if it is a natural occurrence. I do not know if it is magic. I do not know if it is an experiment set up by an alchemist." He glanced around. "Though, I believe the latter theory is the most unlikely, as I see no explosions in the general vicinity."
She shot him an annoyed look. Since when was it a crime to think out loud? Anyhow, she comforted herself with the thought that his horse smelled even worse than hers. And, if there was justice, his coffee was getting a thorough soaking.
The sound of distant shouts cut off her next comment.
"What was that?" she asked, voice low. Vetinari shot her another look, as if to say that, once again, he knew no more than she did. She really didn't care.
"It seemed," he said at last, "To have come from over there."
"Shall we have a look?" she asked, hand already on the hilt of her sword.
"Is it prudent to get involved in local affairs?" he asked. "Especially given your, ah…history?"
Ienska gritted her teeth. He was right, of course. She needed to break herself of the habit of rescuing innocents and righting wrong. Someone screamed louder. This amazing reversal of her life, she decided, was not going to happen today.
"Here, take my horse." Before he could answer, she shoved the reins into his hand and vanished, quite literally. It was a gift of hers, and one she used to her full advantage as she raced over the drizzly landscape.
It was habit only, one developed from training, not instinct, that had her crouch behind a rock to observe the scene before her.
Five men were huddled together, eyes wide, on the slick grass. Surrounding them, swords drawn, were eight more men, dressed against the rain.
She cursed silently.
There was no way she could take out eight men in a fair fight on wet grass. And she wasn't about to sneak up and stab them in the back. That's what cowards did. That's what Assassins did…she caught her train of thought before it went to far. Her own scruples aside, Vetinari was holding the horses.
Well, if she couldn't fight them, she could scare them.
Making sure to keep herself unnoticed, she picked her way down the slight hill. Reaching the nearest of the thugs, she carefully slit the rope he used as a belt. It was difficult to do without accidentally touching him, which would have gotten her seen pretty quick, but once done, had exactly the effect she had hoped for.
The man, his pants suddenly bunched around his feet, started and made a grab for them. After that, it was a simple matter to grab the rope and tie another of the eight's feet together. A few more pranks and a shove later, the men broke and ran for it, one of them tripping as he discovered, to his horror, that his shoes were tied together.
Satisfied, Ienska was just about to slip away from the fiercely chatting would be captives when Vetinari appeared over the hill, leading both horses.
***
NB: Sorry if this is starting a little slowly, but I promise it gets more interesting.