Drama was, in Vetinari's opinion, a very useful tool. The fact that a flash of lightning and a roll of thunder had occurred just as he came into view of the five men Ienska had rescued was, so far as he was concerned, perfectly arranged. The girl had protested vehemently when he'd said he meant to speak with the men, but he had pointed out that it was, after all, for her own good. If she couldn't resist rescuing the helpless, than he was going to see that she at least accepted some sort of reward for it.
Unfortunately, the men seemed unwilling to believe that she had done the rescuing, as they had not seen her the entire time. They had, however, invited the pair to share their campfire. The smug look she had shot him at their refusal to accept her as their rescuer caved in as he accepted the offer.
"Care for a cup?" he asked the nearest man as he poured himself a mug of freshly brewed coffee.
"What is it?" the man asked suspiciously.
"Drink of the gods," said Vetinari with relish. The man, casting a worried look toward his four sleeping companions, nodded slowly. Careful not to spill a drop of the precious liquid, Vetinari poured a small amount into the man's cup. No reason to waste the stuff if he, like Ienska, proved to dislike the taste.
It was, Vetinari felt, the girl's worst fault.
He glanced over to where she lay, head on the bag of coffee beans to, she claimed, block the wet horse smell. She seemed to be asleep, but he would never risk his life on it.
A strange sound caused his attention to snap back to the man beside him. To his shock, he found the man, on his knees in the mud, with the cup raised above his head.
"Oh, divine one, bless your servant with more of this life-giving liquid." The words were reverent, full of worship. Vetinari stared at the man, at the outstretched cup.
"Oh, dear."
~
Ienska didn't fully understand what was happening.
As soon as morning had broken over their little encampment, the five men had insisted that she get up and head for their city with them before the youngest of them had sprinted off, presumably to inform someone of their plans. They hardly spoke to Vetinari, and, for reasons she couldn't even begin to fathom, and the few times they had, it had been on their knees. Whatever fueled their strange behavior toward Vetinari, they seemed unsure of her. Every time she moved to talk to him, or walk beside him, they jumped forward, nearly screaming incoherent phrases at her.
The third time this happened, she shot an annoyed look at Vetinari, who prudently stepped over and initiated conversation himself, waving back the men when they moved to intercept him.
"What, exactly, is going on?" she asked in an undertone when he fell into stride beside her.
"There seems to have been a misunderstanding," he admitted, watching the men. It was strange. Despite the fact that they were adults, their behavior was leading Ienska to think of them as younger than her own seventeen years.
"Those seem to occur quite often in your vicinity, don't they?" she asked bitterly, trying to remember why she was traveling with him.
"As of late," he said. "Though, I might assume just as easily, that they tend to occur in your general vicinity."
"And this particular misunderstanding is what, exactly?" she asked, ignoring his comment.
"So far as I can suppose?"
"If that's the best you can do."
"They appear to believe that I'm a god."
She stared. There really wasn't much else to do, aside from laughing. And, honestly, she didn't feel like laughing. "Of what?" she asked finally.
"Pardon me?"
"The god of what?"
Vetinari closed his eyes and sighed. "I am, it would seem, the god of coffee."
Now she felt like laughing.
~
The four men watched the god with a mixture of caution and curiosity. They had tried their best to keep the strange girl who had appeared from nowhere the day before out of his way. Now, it seemed as if she was a companion of his.
All slightly jittery from the previous night's imbibing of the Drink Of The Gods (which the First Neophyte, who had been granted the first drink, had awoken the others to partake of with him), all four of them jumped slightly as a laugh escaped the girl's lips. They looked at each other, eyes wide.
It was quite obvious to them that she was not a god. But perhaps a servant of the god? She had, after all, kept watch over the Sacred Seeds of the Drink all night. Or, they thought, watching the two walk alongside each other, maybe she was something else entirely.
Either way, she would not interfere with their worship.
~
Vetinari felt distinctly odd.
He knew that it was belief that shaped gods, and that brought them to life. But, surely, the belief of these men in his own godhood should not affect him?
Yet, as they traveled, he felt all weariness from their previous journey fade away, and his awareness of the ever-present rain slid into the back of his mind. In fact, he felt nearly dry. There were other things, strange feelings, sensations of power in small twinges. He was changing, somehow.
And, as they drew nearer to the city, the change seemed to be accelerating.
~
It didn't take much to get Ienska annoyed. She knew that. Once annoyed, however, it took a long time to get her angry. She was furious.
As soon as they had arrived in the city, she had been bustled off, along with the bag of coffee beans, for some strange reason, to a small cottage on the outskirts while Vetinari was escorted deeper into the city. At first, she had appreciated the chance to dry off and put on clothes that weren't muddy from a night on the rain soaked ground. Then she'd realized the doors were under guard. She, quite obviously, was expected to stay put.
Well, forget that.
Willing herself unseen, she carefully slipped out a window, dropping onto the damp ground beneath, and strolled past her guards without one of them so much as glancing at her. That done, she began searching for Vetinari.
Considering the size of the city, he should have been hard to find. Instead, she simply followed the crowds.
After nearly half an hour of pushing through people who were left with the strange feeling of having seen someone who wasn't there, she reached the center of the mobs. It was, to her surprise, a small inn with a swinging sign naming it StellarRears. What she had been expecting, she couldn't say, as they had hardly had time to build a temple. Yet.
Several men were standing guard at the door. On closer inspection, they were three of the five men she had rescued the day before, the ones who were calling themselves Neophytes. Ignoring their existence, and expecting them to do the same for her, she slid into the dimly lit interior of the inn.
There, seated on a makeshift dais at the back of the room, was Vetinari. He was dressed in a long robe of emerald green and seemed to be wearing a headdress of some sort. In her opinion, nothing in that room should have been more shocking than his appearance. Unfortunately, her opinion apparently counted for very little. To her astonishment, every head in the room turned to look at her, despite the fact that she was currently supposed to be unseen.
Wonderful.
Squaring her shoulders, she marched forward. If all else fails, the Masters had always said, act as if you belong there.
The final two Neophytes stepped forward to block her progress. She glared at them.
Unsure, they both glanced at Vetinari, who nodded.
Feeling very much as if she'd like to seriously bruise their coffee loving skins, she continued forward as they retreated to opposite side of the room.
~
"The Guardian," muttered the Second Neophyte to the small group on the left side of the inn. "The Sacred Seeds of the Drink are entrusted to her keeping." And he recounted to them her fierce, nightlong vigil over the Sack of the Sacred Seeds, and her devotion to the god.
"Ah," said the people, watching her approach the dais and seeing the god's expectations of her in his face. "It must be so."
~
"The Consort," said the Third Neophyte as he reached a knot of people on the right side of the room. "She travels with the god and is allowed to use the Sacred Seeds of the Drink as a pillow for her head." With reverence, he told them of her angelic sleep, the sweet whispers she had shared with the god as they walked close together, and her wonderful laughter.
"Ah," said the people, watching her approach the dais and seeing the god's affection for her in his posture. "It must be so."
***
NB: I've actually finished writing this fic, so, as long as there seems to be some interest, I'll post through to the end. Drop a review to let me know what you think!