Cobra vs. the Coyote
"At last Cobra has the McGuffin device," Mindbender cackled as he hooked the device up to the main computer of the sub. "Now to analyze it and…" Suddenly the monitors went crazy. "What in the world…?"
On the monitors a silver coyote appeared. "This is a test. This is only a test…Well actually its not. Do not attempt to change the channel. I have the power. I am in control. I…'ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts! De de le de! There they are standing in a row! Big ones small ones some as big as your head…"
"What the hell is this?" Mindbender snapped. He tried to adjust the computer but it sent out sparks. "OW!"
"Uh uh," The Coyote waved his paw. "No touchy! No touchy!"
"What's going on?" Zandar asked as all the Cobra alarms raised.
"It appears the McGuffin Device has some kind of virus inside it!" Mindbender told him.
"Well that is rude!" The Coyote snapped. He materialized in front of Mindbender. "Do I call you a disease ridden ball of pus? Even though you are one I'd never say it!"
"Well get rid of it!" Zandar snapped.
"I hate to break this Pinky," Coyote told him. "But you can't." He ran around and created a mini whirlwind. This knocked Zandar into the next room.
"Somehow it's taken control of the sub's functions!" Mindbender yelled.
"Yeah some idiot managed to connect the McGuffin Device to the main computer where it could infect it and take over," Coyote said matter of factly. "Oh wait that idiot was you wasn't it?"
"Way to go doc!" A Cobra Soldier shouted.
"Well how was I to know that this was going to happen?" Mindbender snapped.
"Duh cause everything you do backfires on you," Coyote grinned.
"It does not!" Mindbender snapped. "I have had thousands of successes!"
"Oh yes like the time you created an idiot emperor for Cobra," Coyote rolled his eyes. "And after the first failure kicked the bucket you had to try and make another one who gave up a life of crime for a life of cross dressing!"
"THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT!" Mindbender snapped. "THOSE IDIOT DREADNOKS GOT THE WRONG DNA!"
"Yeah blame the Dreadnoks," Coyote said. "What kind of moron hires morons in the first place? Answer: An even bigger moron!"
"I am not a moron!" Mindbender snapped. "I have several degrees and…and what am I doing arguing with a fictional entity?"
"Moron!" The Coyote slapped him.
"HEY!" Mindbender snapped. The Coyote slapped him again. "STOP THAT!" Of course this led to the Coyote slapping him several times more. "THAT'S IT! DIE YOU!"
"Hey I wonder how fast this sub can dive?" The Coyote grinned. He disappeared into the computer just as Mindbender made a grab for him. Mindbender fell flat on his face.
Then the sub started to dive rapidly. "I wonder how fast I can go up?" The Coyote grinned. The sub went up. Everyone in the sub was thrown against each other. "And now I'm gonna go down again!" Again everyone was thrown against each other.
"Sub goes up! Sub goes down!" The Coyote sang. "Sub goes up! Sub goes down! And now the sub goes round and round!"
"WE'RE UPSIDE DOWN!" One Cobra soldier screamed.
"I think I'm going to be sick!" Mindbender howled.
"EVERYBODY SING!" Coyote shouted. "LET'S SING THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS THEME!"
"Now I know I'm going to be sick…" Mindbender groaned.
Back at the Joe base the Misfits were getting ready to go after the Cobra sub. "When I get my hand on those bozos I'm gonna…" Shipwreck muttered. "What's that?"
"Hey is it me or is the sub…returning?" Wanda asked.
"Yeah and its course is a little…erratic," Althea blinked. "What is Cobra…"
"HELLLOOOO LANDLOVERS!" The Coyote could be heard on the sub's loudspeaker.
"What in the world?" Low Light blinked as the Coyote began to sing the Spongebob Squarepants theme.
"This might be easier than we thought," Roadblock said as the sub surfaced.
"WE SURRENDER!" The Cobras screamed as they escaped the sub.
"Take us to a nice jail cell!" One Cobra wearing a dress and makeup screamed.
"A nice quiet jail cell!" Another Cobra wearing a tutu whimpered.
"Behold the power of Lance's imagination and Pietro's annoyance," Todd remarked.
"Zandar's gotta be somewhere down there," Low Light motioned. "I'm going in! Cover me!"
"With what?" Pietro asked.
"Just cover me!" Low Light groaned. They went down the sub letting the remaining Joes deal with the surrendering Cobra prisoners. "I don't believe this!"
"He even painted the inside," Lance looked around. "Okay where did he get the paint?"
"Who knows?" Todd remarked. "Oh man we should have brought the camera!"
Mindbender was tied to a torpedo with duct tape. The Coyote was doing an Irish jig around him. "If nautical nonsense be something you wish! Spongebob Squarepants! Then drop on the deck and glub like a fish!" The Coyote sang.
"No more Spongebob Squarepants…" Zandar was in a fetal position in a corner. "No more Spongebob Squarepants…"
"Take it back…" Mindbender moaned. "For the love of god please take it back!"
"Or better yet destroy that evil machine for the good of all humanity!" Zandar shouted. "Did I really just say that?"
"What did I tell you?" Todd grinned. "You guys should listen to me more often."
"Well it's time to say goodbye to new friends," Lance told the Coyote.
"Good idea!" Coyote grabbed Zandar and managed to shove him, Mindbender and the torpedo in a torpedo tube. "Fire in the hole!" Coyote called out as he shot them out.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Both men screamed as they were shot out and disappeared over the horizon.
"Looks like Team Stupid is blasting off again!" Coyote said gleefully.
"Well I'll be darned," Pietro blinked. "The Coyote did get rid of them."
"Hey Pietro I saw this one outfit of Jean's that would look so fetching on you," Todd snickered.
"Oh shut up Wart Boy," Pietro grumbled.
"Hey that was fun!" Coyote cheered as they went to the main room where the device was stored. "Can we do that again? Can we? Can we?"
"Sorry pal but for the good of humanity, you gotta be put to sleep," Low Light raised his rifle.
"NOT AGAIN!" The Coyote howled as Low Light blasted the device. The Coyote fizzled out.
Half an hour later the Misfits returned home. "I hope those guys at the computer research lab never let that thing out again!" Lance groaned.
"So do we," Pietro groaned.
"Well I take it you guys had a fun day," Cover Girl and the Blind Master met them.
"Fun isn't even the word for it," Lance groaned. "Humiliating yes, painful, yes…"
"Hey we just got a phone call from the X-Mansion," Cover Girl said. "You won't believe what happened over there today."
"Couldn't have been as bad as ours," Wanda groaned.
"I think Tabitha would disagree with you on that," Cover Girl said.
"And what's more you won't believe what they want from us," Blind Master grinned.