Nothing's real...I dream reality and reality is a dream to me. The sky is falling to the ground and the unbidden tears rain down on my head like hail. Lend me your eyes to see the pain of my face and watch me fall with your eyes. Even in its leave it haunts me, the unnamed force that pulls me down as I cry for those who cared that I pushed away. Give me a comfort I long felt was beyond me. Gaze I into the storm and comfort me through my tears, I need the love that I have never felt. My world is a collapsing tower, pull me out of the rubble and tell me I've survived when I'm already dead to myself. See me get pulled down into the hell I've created for myself and gape as I fight myself in a life or death battle of my colliding worlds. You will haunt me in my dreams and mock me as I cry for your kindness that I can never have. Laugh at what is not mine, but I desire in spite of my knowledge. The comfort I need now is out of my reach, weeping I fall, bleeding I rise from the flames of hate that encompass my world of endless pain. Then I hold your heart in my hand I drop it then you die as I have, you rise and then I feel the suppressed feelings inside me explode like a bomb of emotions. I deny it, then I realize when it is too late and I haunt what I could have had, had I not torn it down. But the time is to late and my hate is to strong for myself and others. Abdication of the need I feel to live. Your voice haunts me in my sleep and I never can forget the anger you felt when I hurt you, now I hurt myself with you. You destroy me with myself like a fun game you know not you are part of. As I crumble, you don't notice, to wrapped up in someone else that I feel close to, and its to late for me. My mind spirals down a staircase of pain and knowledge that I hurt myself once again, as well as you unknowingly contribute your own share. I long for your comfort that I will never feel on the level that I need it on. I'll hide it around you and others, but it will eat at me like the pain that had come before it. The sky falls with all my world collapsing and I am left in a dry desert of pain and self-hatred, the softly spoken words burning an impression on my very being; bring me to life them kill me again just for the sheer pleasure it brings you. Now as I drag myself out of the rubble of an establishment I destroyed, I'll survive again, but I'll never lose the empty place that had widened to accommodate this strange new feeling of need for someone other than death to visit upon my tarnished silver doorstep in the hell that surrounds me like a flaming blanket. I'm on the edge and as I slip I see flashes of what I could have been, but stopped myself from being. The tears join me on a swift downward descent in to the depths unknown as I unravel like an overused child's doll. I crash to the ground and the pain worsens. I just can't die, some force won't let me. Like it gathers pleasure from my pain, while I weep with the hurt it gets pleasure from, on my knees, I sob at the front of a pagan god, the shackles holding me to the force that tortures my soul, opening old wounds and creating new ones. It gathers strength with each attack, pulling strength from me. I'm a broken dreamer that won't be allowed to be put out of my misery. Hold me, care about me, but only a dreamer I am and only dreams I cling to, I have nothing else. What else is there for a broken dreamer? My dream catcher clings to what it used to have, the dreams that never made it past my lips before getting killed by the hate of the world. All I am is a broken dreamer. And in a hurricane of pain and hurt, I rip apart and get tossed aside and as a last tear slides down my battered face, I die.